-Delile
Noma izithandani ezingashadile manje sezizokwazi ukuhlala ngokulandelana ngaphandle komakhelwane abaphakamisi ishiya, owesifazane angafuna ukuhlala nendoda ngaphambi komshado ukuthola umbono wendlela yabo yokuphila nokubheka ukuthi ngabe bakhululekile yini ukuhlala ndawonye ngaphambi kokuthola uthinte futhi uzinze.
Manje yini ukubaluleka komshado kowesifazane?
Ukubaluleka komshado kowesifazane ukuthi kuzomvikela ekuthembekeni nasekuphepheni okukhona lapho sebenomlingani wakhe, ozoba khona ngokuthembekile kuye.
Ngokufana nabesilisa, abesifazane nabo badinga ukuphepha ngokomzwelo nokuphepha okuhlobene nemali; kodwa-ke, abesifazane baqhubeka nokuzimela ngokwezezimali kulezi zinsuku.
Lokhu kungahle kungabi yiqiniso kubo bonke, futhi ngaleyo ndlela kusengabhekwa njengenzuzo yomshado kwabesifazane.
Abesifazane bayizidalwa ezingokomzwelo; badinga umuntu oyedwa ozoba nabo kuzo zonke izikhathi ezinhle nezimbi zempilo yabo.
Ama-movie ethu esiwathanda kakhulu asaphela ngomshado. Ngakho-ke bakhetha ukushada nokuhlangana ngomdlandla nendoda.
Kwabesifazane, umshado awusona isibambiso endodeni, kepha ngokujwayelekile, isambulo sokudumisa. Ukusho izifungo nokwamukela indoda "njengendoda yakhe" equkethe umndeni wakhe nabangane bayo, endabeni yangasese yilokho intokazi ngayinye efisa ukuba nayo.
Uma kwenzeka ucabanga umbono wabantu besifazane, ungaqonda ukuthi kunempilo enhle ngabesifazane ukucabanga ngezinzuzo zokushada.
Kunezizathu eziningi ezichaza ukubaluleka komshado kowesifazane. Bheka izizathu ezilandelayo eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani umshado ubalulekile kowesifazane.
1. Ukuzibophezela
Ukuzibophezela kungenye yezinzuzo zomphakathi ezibalulekile zomshado. Ukuzibophezela emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni kuyintando yethu yokuhlala sindawonye. Bonke ubudlelwano budinga izinga elithile lokuzinikela.
Ukuzibophezela ekuzibophezeleni emndenini noma kubangane akufani nokuzibophezela kumlingani wakho noma kumlingani wakho. Njengomthetho, ubudlelwano basemshadweni noma kwezothando budinga umthwalo wemfanelo ongaphezulu kobuhlobo.
Ukuzibophezela kunguhlobo lwesivumelwano esisobala esivunywa yilaba bantu ababili. Ukuzimaka “njengabangane”, “umbhangqwana”, noma “ukushada” yinto eqinisa isivumelwano.
Inkinga ukuthi izinhlinzeko ezithile zalesi sivumelwano aziboniswa njalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Isivumelwano, ngokujwayelekile, sizoba umbono wezinto okulindeleke ukuthi umlingani ngamunye azifeze ngokuzithandela.
Ukuzibophezela kuletha ukuphepha nokulawula okwengeziwe ebudlelwaneni. Ngesikhathi lapho uzibophezele khona, uletha umuzwa welungelo ezimpilweni zakho. Lokhu kukukhuthaza ukuthi ubone kusengaphambili ukuthi yiziphi izinhlobo zezimo ezingase zivele nokuthi ungenza kanjani ngokufanele.
Ukulawula okuthile nokuba nomuzwa wokuphepha lapho ubona umuntu kuwusizo ngezindlela eziningi. Isibonelo, ukukhulisa izingane kulula futhi kulula uma umbhangqwana ugxile komunye nomunye.
Ukuzibophezela emshadweni kunikeza ubukhulu bokuphepha, iphedi, ekunika amandla okuphuma onyaweni; uma kungenzeka ukuthi oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani babe namandla onke engqondo atshaliwe noma ikuphi kodwa lapha, ubudlelwano abusoze banelisa ngendlela abangakudinga ngayo.
2. Ithonya lomndeni
Kukhona, kuzo zonke izimo, isilinganiso esithile sethonya emphakathini elibikezela ukubaluleka komshado wowesifazane. Kusenabantu abambalwa enkundleni yomphakathi abathemba ukuthi owesifazane osemusha kufanele ahlaselwe yiminyaka engamashumi amathathu.
Abesifazane abasha abangashadile abanabo bonke abangane bakhe abashadile bazizwa becindezelekile kakhulu kunalokho okungenzeka ukuthi umfana oyedwa uyakwenza.
Kukhona ngokuthembekile u-anti noma mhlawumbe umalume omemeza ukuthi kudlule kanjani iphuzu lokuthi angabuyeli ukuthola umuntu ohloniphekile. Izihlobo ezimbalwa nazo zingaphendula izinkomishi futhi zikhathale owesifazane ngokuqinisa umdlalo nomuntu othile.
Imishado yabazala iphenduka ibe ukuhlupha kowesifazane kunokusebenza nje kukhanye isitatimende esiyisisekelo esithi 'sekufanele ungene manje'.
3. Uthando
Isizathu esiyinhloko sokuthi kungani umshado ubalulekile kubantu besifazane uthando. Impela, uyifunde kahle.
Ucwaningo olwenziwa kubantu abadala base-U.S. Olwenziwe ukuze kutholakale izizathu zomshado nokuhlala ndawonye lwathola ukuthi kubantu abadala abashadile noma abahlala nomuntu abathandana naye, u-90% uthe uthando yisona sizathu esikhulu esenza bashade.
Uthando luyincazelo eyinhloko ngemuva kwezintokazi ukuthi zitholwe. Ingxenye enkulu yamantombazane ingathanda ukungadluli ethembeni lesipiliyoni sokudumisa futhi ibe ebudlelwaneni bezothando ngomuzwa wokwaneliseka okugxile.
Uthando lomhlaba wonke nokuthakazelisa kungenye yezizathu eziyisisekelo zokuthi kungani izintokazi zidinga ukuhlangana. Esikhathini lapho ubuzwa ukuthi kungani utholwa? Abesifazane abaningi bayaphendula, 'sidinga ukukhonza futhi sithandwa.'
Kunezizathu eziyizigidi zokuthi kungani owesifazane ezodinga ukuthola okuchotshoziwe futhi okubucayi ngasizathu sini angakudinga ukukushada njengoba ekuthanda. Akubalulekile ukuthi umuntu adinge ukushada ngokuba namandla okukhombisa uthando.
Bheka futhi: Izithandani ezishade iminyaka engu-0-65 ziyaphendula: Wazi nini ukuthi niyathandana?
4. Isifiso somama
Abesifazane banesifiso semvelo somama.
Banezinhloso zokushada ngokushesha kunalokho umuntu ajwayele ukukwenza. Ukubheka ukuzala izingane kuvele kube nzima ngokwengeziwe futhi kube inselelo yezokwelapha kowesifazane njengoba ekhula, ikakhulukazi ngemuva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu.
Ucwaningo luphakamise ukuthi owesifazane okhulelwayo esemdala angaholela ezinkingeni ezithile ezinjengamathuba aphezulu okuphuphuma kwesisu, ukukhubazeka kokuzalwa, umfutho wegazi ophakeme, isifo sikashukela sokukhulelwa kanye nomsebenzi onzima.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, kumane nje kungumqondo omuhle wokuthi owesifazane abe nengane eneminyaka engamashumi amathathu nanhlanu noma cishe engamashumi amane. Ngokunjalo kuvela ukuthi kunzima kakhulu ukukhulisa ingane ngenkathi ekhulayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngubani ongadingi umndeni?
Ukwakhiwa komndeni newashi lomama ngezinye zezizathu eziyinhloko ezibikezela ukubaluleka komshado wowesifazane.