-Delile
- Yeka ukuqhathanisa
- Misa ukubhebhethekisa izihloko ezivele zivutha
- Vumela inhliziyo ithande
- Ungagwemi izingqinamba ezisafufusa
- Thuthukisa umdlalo wokuzilibazisa ndawonye
- Phila uphile
- Yiba nomusa
- Bheka ulwelwesi lwesiliva
- Yethula ushintsho
Uma usunesikhathi eside uhlala nowakwakho, uthando luyakhula, nothando luyaphela. Ngeke ungikholwe uma ngikutshela ukuthi zombili ziyenzeka, futhi kujwayelekile.
Imibhangqwana kwesinye isikhathi iwela isigaba se-honeymoon ibe ubungani, ivezwa ezintweni ezingezimbi kangako zamahafu azo angcono, zilwa ngezinto ezingasile eziqubukayo, futhi zizithole sezisondele ekuyekeni umshado.
Kepha umbuzo uwukuthi, kufanele ngabe bayayekela umshado?
Ngokwethembeka, impendulo yomshado ohlulekayo incike kokufunayo, enjabulweni yakho, ungakhetha ukunikela noma ukulwa nayo.
Ngasohlangothini olukhanyayo, ukuyeka umshado kuyinkinga ejwayelekile imibhangqwana eminingi ebhekana nayo esikhathini esithile empilweni yayo.
Ungawulungisa kanjani umshado ophukile?
Okuhle ukuthi, ziningi izinto ongazenza ukonga umshado futhi ushintshe nomsele owehlayo womshado wakho; okudingayo amandla nokuzinikela.
Sigqamise izeluleko ezimbalwa ezibalulekile zokuthi ungawonga kanjani umshado okudingeka ucabangele:
- Qonda ukuthi nawe uyingxenye yenkinga; thatha umthwalo ngezenzo zakho.
- Nikezane isikhala nesikhathi sokucabangisisa kahle.
- Misa umdlalo wokusola.
- Zikhumbuze ukuthi uyamthanda umlingani wakho, futhi uthathe isinqumo ngokuzithandela ngenxa yezizathu eziningi ezinhle, zokuchitha impilo yakho yonke unabo ... naphezu kwamaphutha abo.
Manje njengoba usunezeluleko ezichazwe ngenhla zokuthi ungawusindisa kanjani umshado wakho, bheka izeluleko zethu ezijulile nezincazelo ongazisebenzisa ukulungisa umshado.
Yeka ukuqhathanisa
Imishado eminingi ibhekene nezinkinga ngoba oyedwa kulaba bobabili uqhathanisa ubudlelwano babo nabanye ezimpilweni zabo.
Ungahle uphoqeleke ukuthi ucabange ukuthi omakhelwane banomshado ongcono, ngoba nje bathumela okuningi ku-Facebook, kepha unasiqinisekiso sini sokuthi bakholelwa okufanayo ngawe?
Ukuqhathanisa kuyiphutha elikhulu, kugweme.
Misa ukubhebhethekisa izihloko ezivele zivutha
Uzibuza ukuthi ungenza kanjani umshado usebenze? Okokuqala, ungafaki uphethiloli emlilweni.
Lapho uqala ukuphikisana nomyeni / unkosikazi wakho osuvele ungeneme, unyathela ezindaweni eziyingozi, igama elilodwa elingalungile, futhi lingaphuma lilinganise.
Ucwaningo lwakamuva luveze ukuthi ngisho nemibhangqwana ejabule kakhulu iphikisana ngezihloko ezifanayo nemibhangqwana engajabule, umehluko ukuthi imibhangqwana ejabule ijwayele ukuthatha indlela egxile ekuxazululeni izingxabano.
Zama ukunamathela kumaqiniso angempela hhayi ukuqagela, bese uzama ukukhuluma ngezinto ngendlela ephucukile.
Vumela inhliziyo ithande
Lokho esikushoyo ngalokho ukuthi uthanda umlingani wakho, futhi mhlawumbe ukuntuleka kothando lomzimba kungaba yisizathu sebanga phakathi kwakho noshade naye.
Thatha isikhathi sakho ukwanga oshade naye, ngisho nokuthinta okulula okuvela kothandiweyo wakho kunganciphisa ama-hormone okucindezeleka, isayensi yayo!
Ungagwemi izingqinamba ezisafufusa
Esinye sezeluleko ezinhle kakhulu umeluleki wezemishado asinikezayo ukuvimbela kunokulapha. Lapho uzwa ukuthi kukhona okuzoba yinkinga okungabeka izingqinamba emshadweni wakho, uyivale ezinyathelweni zokuqala, ungavumeli ukunganaki kukhule ekhaya lakho.
Lokhu kuzosiza futhi ukuvala igebe lokuxhumana phakathi kwabo bobabili abalingani.
Thuthukisa umdlalo wokuzilibazisa ndawonye
Ungahleka usulu, kepha lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu. Lapho wenza umdlalo wokuzilibazisa nomlingani wakho, njengokusebenza ndawonye ebusuku, wenza izinto eziningi.
Nichitha isikhathi ndawonye, nixoxa ngokungaqondile, futhi nandisa ubukhona benu esimisweni sozakwenu.
Phila uphile
Qonda ukuthi njengawe, oshade naye ungumuntu, futhi ukwenza amaphutha kungumuntu. Funda ukuxolela futhi ubeke izinto ngemuva kwakho njengoba uthuthuka empilweni yakho. Ukubuyela emanxebeni amadala kuzokwandisa ukulimala!
Yiba nomusa
Ukupha kungadala injabulo enkulu empilweni yomunye umuntu. Ukuphana nomlingani wakho kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale unake lokho okubajabulisa.
Lokhu akudingeki ukuthi kufike ngentengo ephezulu, kepha kumane kube yinto ethile yokwazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi ubucabanga ngabo. Ukupha kuyisikhuthazo semvelo semvelo esiletha imizwa eminingi yokuzizwa kahle nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni.
Ucwaningo olwalufuna ukwakha ubudlelwano phakathi kokupha kanye nekhwalithi yomshado luye lwasho ukuthi izenzo ezincane zomusa, ukubonakaliswa kothando nokuhlonipha njalo, nokuzimisela ukuthethelela oshade naye amaphutha nokwehluleka kwazo - kuhlotshaniswa kahle nokwaneliseka emshadweni futhi kuhlotshaniswa kabi nezingxabano zomshado futhi wabona amathuba esehlukaniso.
Bheka ulwelwesi lwesiliva
Ukulungiswa kunamandla amakhulu wokuxazulula cishe noma iyiphi inkinga emhlabeni wonke.
Uma umuntu enombono oqondile, izinto ziba ngcono, naye uqobo akhululeke. Uma ucabanga ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obubi, ungafuna ukwazi ukuthi ungabulungisa kanjani ubudlelwano obunobuthi nokuthi ungabulungisa kanjani ubudlelwano.
Kulesi simo, amandla okulindela okuhle angakusiza kakhulu.
Esifundweni sesikhathi eside esenziwe nguDkt.Gottman noRobert Levenson kutholakale ukuthi umehluko phakathi kwezithandani ezijabule nezingajabule ibhalansi phakathi kokusebenzisana okuhle nokubi ngesikhathi sezingxabano.
Ngosizo lwesifundo bathula i-ti-Magic Relationship Ratio, okwakusho ukuthi kukho konke ukuxhumana okungahambi kahle ngesikhathi sezingxabano, umshado ozinzile nojabulayo unokuxhumana okuhle okuhlanu (noma ngaphezulu).
Yiba nombono omuhle ngabantu abakuzungezile kanye nozakwenu, okubaluleke kakhulu. Lokhu ngeke kuvimbele ukulwa nokuxabana kuphela kepha kuzogcina nobudlelwano bakho bunempilo.
Yethula ushintsho
Vele, uke wacabanga kaningana ngezindlela ofisa sengathi umlingani wakho angashintsha. Lokho kungokwemvelo, futhi wonke umuntu uyakwenza.
Inkinga kuphela ukuthi, awukwazi ukuwashintsha. Abantu bashintsha kuphela uma sebelungile, futhi akukho bungako be-cajoling obuzobenza bakwenze.
Esikhundleni salokho, buza ukuthi ungashintsha kanjani ukwenza ubuhlobo bakho bube ngcono. Ngakho-ke, ungalungisa kanjani ubudlelwane obubi?
Qala ngokuthi imiphi imikhuba ongayishiya, noma uyiqale, nokuthi yiziphi izindlela zokuziphatha ongazishintsha ukuze ukhiqize umoya onempilo.
Bheka futhi: Ungawakha kanjani umshado futhi ugweme isehlukaniso.
Ukunikela ngomshado kunzima, kepha ukuwusindisa kunzima kakhulu; noma yini efanelekile idinga ukuzidela, ukuzinikela, kanye nesifiso sokulwa nazo zonke izingqinamba.
Siyethemba ukuthi la macebiso akusiza uqonde ukuthi ungawulungisa kanjani umshado ochithekile futhi kukwenze ucabange ngenye indlela ngokuyeka umshado. Ngikufisela inhlanhla!