-Delile
- Kuyini ukuhlukaniswa okusemthethweni?
- Kungenzeka yini ukubuyela ne-ex?
- Ungabuyela kanjani ngempumelelo ngemuva kokuhlukana?
- Ukonga umshado ngemuva kokwehlukana: Nikeza ukubuyisana ithuba
Ngakho-ke ufuna ukuthuthukisa i- amathuba okubuyisana ngemuva kokuhlukana?
Ukusinda ngokwehlukana nomngane wakho womshado akwenzeki ngengozi.
Kodwa-ke, abantu abakwaziyo ukufunda ukubuyisana nomshado ngemuva kokwehlukana bavame ukuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni okuthile ukukhulisa amathuba okuqinisekisa ukuthi izinto zizolungela umshado.
Kuyini ukuhlukaniswa okusemthethweni?
Ngokungafani nesehlukaniso lapho umbhangqwana uqeda umshado ngokusemthethweni, ukwehlukana ngokomthetho kubanika ilungelo lokuhlala ngokuhlukana lapho kwenziwa khona imingcele yezezimali neyomzimba.
Ukwehlukana komshado Isivumelwano esichaza ukuphathwa kwempahla nezingane siyakhishwa. Umbhangqwana onjalo uhlala ngokusemthethweni ushade ephepheni futhi awukwazi ukuphinde ushade.
Indlela engahlelekile yalokhu ukwehlukaniswa kwecala lapho izinqubo zomthetho zingenzeki. Ezimweni eziningi, ukwahlukana kungcono kunokuthatha isehlukaniso njengoba amathuba okubuyisana ngemuva kokuhlukana emaningi.
Kungenzeka yini ukubuyela ne-ex?
Ngesinye isikhathi nangokuphikisana nobunzima, eminye imibhangqwana iyakwazi ukubuyisana ngemuva kwesikhathi sokuhlala ngokwehlukana.
Izibalo ezisuselwa ekuhlanganyeleni kwezithandani ngemuva kokwehlukana zibonisa ukuthi ngenkathi ama-87% wabashadikazi ekugcineni beqeda ubuhlobo babo ngesehlukaniso ngemuva kokwehlukana, abangu-13% abasele bayakwazi ukubuyisana ngemuva kokuhlukana.
Ukubuyela emuva ngemuva kokuhlukana nokuhlangana noshade naye ngemuva kokuqedwa kwesikhashana komshado noma ukwahlukana kwesivivinyo, kungumgomo wokugcina iningi labashadikazi abalahlekile abalindele wona.
Njengoba usuku lokubuyela nge-ex lusondela, kunokwesaba okuningi okuzungeze ukubuyisana. Lokhu kungaba ukudubula kokugcina ekuxazululeni izingqinamba ezibalulekile nasekuhambeni ukubuyisana nowakwakhe.
Ingabe imibhangqwana ehlukene ingabuyisana? Ukubuyisana kokuthunyelwe kokuhlukaniswa akukhona nje ukucabanga okufisayo, kepha kungenzeka okunengqondo.
Qala ngokwethembeka ngenkathi ucabanga ukubuyisana ngemuva kokwehlukana. Wena nomlingani wakho kumele nizimisele ukubonisa ngobuqotho izindaba eziholele enkingeni.
Noma ngabe ukuhlukumeza, ukungathembeki, ukuba umlutha, noma okunye okunjalo, “amakhadi” kufanele abekwe etafuleni.
Uma abalingani bengakwazi ukwethembeka ngezindawo ezilimazayo, pho bangalindela kanjani ukuza mayelana nezinguquko ezidinga ukwenzeka ukuqinisa umshado?
Umeluleki uhlale elulekwa ngokubuyelana emuva kokuhlukana.
Funa ukuhlakanipha kothile owayekhona esikhathini esedlule noma umuntu ofanele ukukunikeza amathuluzi asiza ukondla ukwethembeka, umbono, nokusondelana ukuze uthuthukise amathuba okubuyisana ngemuva kokuhlukana.
Ungabuyela kanjani ngempumelelo ngemuva kokuhlukana?
Uma uzibuza ungambuyisa kanjani umyeni wakho ngemuva kokwehlukana noma ukuthi ungabuyelana kanjani nonkosikazi wakho, udinga ukuthatha izinyathelo ezifanele ukukhulisa amathuba akho okubuyelana, ugcine umshado wakho futhi wakhe kabusha ubudlelwano phakathi kwakho noshade naye.
Mhlawumbe isinyathelo esilandelayo esibaluleke kakhulu sokubuyelana ngemuva kokwehlukana ukufaka isilinganiso esinempilo sobala ebudlelwaneni. Uma ukwethembana kugugile, khona-ke ukuveza obala kuyisixazululo esifanelekile.
Ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngezezimali, imikhuba yomuntu siqu, kanye nezinhlelo ezizosiza umbhangqwana ukuba uphinde uthole ukwethembeka okuthile. Akukaze kube ngumqondo omubi ukucabanga ngokuqeqesha.
Uma unabantu abathile empilweni yakho - abaqeqeshiwe noma ababekiwe - abangamodela umkhuba omuhle kakhulu wezingxoxo zokuqala komuntu, bese ubabandakanya.
Ngokwengeziwe, udinga futhi ukwethembeka futhi uzibuze imibuzo enzima. Cabanga ngokucophelela ngezansi ngezansi ukubuyelana ngemuva kokuhlukana:
- Ingabe ubuqedile ubudlelwano noma wenza umlingani wakho? Ngesikhathi sokuhlukana, ngabe nobabili nithole ithuba lokukhuluma ngokukhululekile nangokuthembeka ngalokho okungahambanga kahle ebudlelwaneni benu? Uma kungenjalo, manje-ke manje yisikhathi sokuba nengxoxo evulekile nethembekile komunye nomunye.
- Ngabe ukhona kini oguqukile selokhu ubudlelwano baphela noma kwaqala ukwahlukana okwesikhashana? Uma kunjalo, kanjani? Ngabe lezo zinguquko zikusondeze ndawonye noma zahlukana ngokwengeziwe?
- Ngenkathi nihlukene, benikwazi yini ukuthi kwenzekani empilweni yomunye umuntu?
- Ngabe zikhona ezinye izinto ezibalulekile ezingathinta ubudlelwano bakho ngokuzayo ngenkathi ubuyelana ne-ex yakho?
Imaphi amakhono amasha noma izinsiza nobabili enizimisele ukuzisebenzisa manje ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze? (Into eyayingakaze isetshenziswe ngaphambili)
Ukonga umshado ngemuva kokwehlukana: Nikeza ukubuyisana ithuba
Umphefumulo ohlakaniphile wake waklolodela, “Kwesinye isikhathi abantu ababili kufanele bahlukane ukuze babone ukuthi badinga kangakanani ukubuyela ndawonye.” Ingabe uyavuma?
Ngokusobala, isikhala sinendlela yokusikhombisa ukuthi yini ebalulekile, yini engabalulekile, yini ebuhlungu, nokuthi yini okusizayo.
Uma unenhloso yokubuyelana emuva kokuhlukana, futhi umlingani wakho ezimisele ukwenza ingxenye yakhe, ngakho-ke, ngazo zonke izindlela, nika ukubuyisana ithuba.
Kepha ngaphambi kokuqhubekela phambili, cabanga ngezimpawu ze- ukubuyisana ngemuva kokuhlukana.
Yiziphi izimpawu ezikhombisa ukuthi oshade naye ufuna ukubuyisana? Uma oshade naye ehlaselwa yisikhathi mayelana nesikhathi esihle asichithe ndawonye futhi asikisela ukufuna ukwelulekwa noma ukwelashwa ngomshado ndawonye.
Ukwehlukana nokubuyelana kuthinta impilo yakho engokomzwelo futhi umelaphi angakusiza ekubhekaneni nalezi zikhathi ezinzima.
Kukhona ukuzola okungaguquguquki, ukuzethemba, nokuzinza ekuziphatheni koshade naye futhi bathatha ubunikazi njengengxenye yomonakalo wabo ebudlelwaneni.
Bangabonisa izimpawu zokukhathazeka ngomphumela wokwelulekwa ngokomqondo kodwa noma kunjalo bazimisele ukwenza konke okudingekayo ukusindisa umshado.
Uma ufuna ukwenza umshado wakho usebenze, nazi izeluleko ezizokusiza buyelani ndawonye ngemuva kokwehlukana:
- Yamukela amaphutha akho: Ukwenza umshado usebenze, nobabili KUFANELE UKWAMUKE amaphutha enu abenegalelo ekuhlukaneni kwasekuqaleni. Imibhangqwana eyehla endleleni yokubuyisana kumele izimisele ukuthi uxolo. Qonda ukuthi ukuthethelela, ukwethembana, nokuvuleleka ukulungisa izinto kuzoba izithako eziyinhloko ezingasindisa umshado wakho futhi zenze umsebenzi wokubuyela emuva ngemuva kokuhlukana ube lula kakhulu.
- Lungela ushintsho: Mhlawumbe into ebaluleke kunazo zonke ngenkathi ubuyelana ngemuva kokwehlukana ukulungela izinguquko. Yamukela ukuthi ubudlelwano abukwazi ukubuyela lapho bebunjalo ngaphambi kokuhlukana; ngoba lokho kuzoholela kokunye ukwehluleka.
Khuluma ngokukhululekile ngezidingo zakho kanye nezinguquko ozifunayo. Futhi lungela ukuzishintsha nawe ngenxa yomlingani wakho. - Vuma: Wazise oshade naye noma nini lapho ubona umzamo ohlangothini lwabo ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano. Nawe kumele wenze imizamo yokubazisa ngokufanayo. Yabelana ngemizwa yakho, amathemba, izifiso kanye nokuzimisela kwakho ukwenza noma yini edingekayo ukwenza lobu budlelwano bube yimpumelelo.
- Inike isikhathi: Ukubuyelana emuva kokuhlukana akwenzeki ngobusuku obubodwa. Yakha ubudlelwano bakho kancane futhi ubunike isikhathi esanele, ukuze wena (kanye nomlingani wakho) niphinde nizilungele izimfuno zazo eziningi. Nikezane isikhathi esanele nendawo yokulungisa izinto. Lapho kunikezwa umcabango nokubaluleka kulokhu, bobabili abalingani bangacabanga ngokuqonda futhi bashintshe noma yini edinga ukuguqulwa. Bona amaphutha akho bese usebenza kuwo futhi.
Lezi zeluleko kufanele zibe wusizo uma uhlangabezana nobudlelwano obuphukile futhi ubhekile ukubuyisana kanjani ngemuva kokwehlukana.
Okukhulu ongakwenza ukukunika ithuba lokudubula, futhi uma kungaphumeleli ngendlela obucabanga ngayo, funa ukwesekwa futhi uzolulama.