-Delile
Abalingani abaningi, belangazelela ubudlelwano obuwele phansi emthambekeni oshelelayo wokungabi nandaba nobuthakathaka, bayazibuza ukuthi yini abangayenzela yona ukonga umshado ngemuva kokwehlukana. Kakhulu lokhu kwenzeka ngemuva kokungezwani okukhulu noma "okwephula isivumelwano."
Ngabe kungenzeka yini ukuthi kuphulukiswe kwangempela futhi kuhlala isikhathi eside kuguqula indlela eya ekuhlanganeni ngemuva kokwehlukana okubuhlungu emshadweni? Futhi kungenzeka yini ukwehlukana ukusindisa umshado, noma kukhombisa ukuthi ukuphela okubuhlungu kusondele kakhulu?
Ngaphambi kokuba sizame ukuthola ukuthi ungawusindisa kanjani umshado wakho ngemuva kokwehlukana, ake sizindle umzuzwana ngokuthi kuyini ukuhlukana komshado? noma buyini ubudlelwano ukwahlukana?
Ukwehlukana emshadweni noma ukwehlukana komshado kuwumqondo lapho abashadile beyeka ukuhlala ndawonye ngaphandle kokuhlukanisa. Ukwehlukana kwendoda nomfazi emshadweni akusho ukuthi abashadikazi bazogcina behlukanisile.
Inqubo yokwehlukana emshadweni ingaba nezinhloso ezahlukahlukene, zona ezihlukanisa ukwahlukana kube yizinhlobo ezahlukahlukene, njengokuhlukaniswa kwecala, ukwehlukaniswa unomphela, nokwehlukaniswa ngokomthetho.
Ukwehlukaniswa kwesilingo ebuhlotsheni kuvamise ukukhombisa ukuthi abashadikazi abaqiniseki ukuthi bafuna ukuchibiyela izinkinga zabo futhi babuyelane noma bafuna ukuthola isehlukaniso. ESIMENI esinjalo, lo mbhangqwana uhlala wedwa futhi ucabanga ngemizwa nokukhetha kwawo.
Ukwehlukana unomphela, ngakolunye uhlangothi, yilapho abashadayo bengenazo izinhloso zokubuyisana umshado wabo kepha bengakahlukanisi.
Ukwehlukaniswa ngokomthetho kufana kakhulu nokuhlukanisa ngokwehlukaniswa kwempahla, isondlo, ukunakekelwa kwengane kanye nokugcinwa kwengane. Kodwa-ke, futhi kuhlukile kwesehlukaniso njengoba ungeke uphinde ushade ngokusemthethweni.
Indlela eya phambili
Uma ufunda le ngcezu ngoba ufuna ukonga umshado wakho ngemuva kokuhlukana, lungiselela uhambo olunzima kodwa oludingekayo.Okokuqala, ozakwethu kumele babone ukuthi ukuhlukaniswa ngeke kulungise lutho kukodwa. Eqinisweni, ukwahlukana kungandisa izingxabano.
Nansi into ... Abalingani abaningi enhlekeleleni eholela ekwehlukaneni bacabanga ukuthi ukwahlukana kuyindlela kuphela yokuxazulula ukungezwani nokunikeza amandla ukuqala okusha. Kukholakala ukuthi, "Uma sisuka komunye nomunye isikhashana, sizokwazi ukujabulela ukuthula nokuzola."
Ngeshwa, noma kunjalo, ukuthula nokuzola kungaqala ukuba yigugu kakhulu kwabalingani abangahambelani kunokuvuselela umshado. Lapho izithandani ezilimazayo zisekungeneni zilinde ukuthi isimo esingesihle somshado silunge noma sishintshe ngomlingo, ushintsho lwangempela alwenzeki.
Indlela eya phambili, ucabanga ukuthi kusho ukuthi ukubuyiselwa komshado, kusho ukuzibandakanya ngokoqobo nomlingani ohlukanisiwe. Ngabe uzimisele futhi ukulungele ukwenza lokhu?
Imibono embalwa okufanele uyicabangele
Njengoba abeluleki abaningi, abaholi bezenkolo, nabahlakaniphileyo abafanele usawoti wabo bezokutshela, alukho uhlu oluphelele lwemikhombandlela yokwehlukanisa imishado etholakala esitolo esikhulu solwazi esikhona ukuzithokozisa komuntu. Kodwa-ke, imihlahlandlela embalwa elula kufanele izanywe.
Le mibono ifaka phakathi:
1. Ukuzibandakanya ekuzinakekeleni
Njengokuzwakala komshado, kudinga isibopho esithile, isikhathi, nokuzidela kwabashadile. Noma kuba lula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba ujwayela ukwenza ukuvumelana, umshado uyisibambiso esiqhubekayo sokuphikelela nokubekezela.
Ngakho-ke, ngenkathi ugcina imisebenzi yakho yasekhaya, umsebenzi wakho noma umsebenzi wakho, nezingane nomndeni, ukuzibandakanya kuzinakekela kuthatha isihlalo sangemuva semibhangqwana eminingi eshadile. Ukwakha impilo evikelekile yomndeni wakho kungenzeka ukuthi ubekade ubeke engcupheni impilo yakho engokwengqondo nengokomzimba.
Kungaba ukuzithuthukisa, noma kuthuthukisa ubuhlobo bakho nomuntu oshade naye, ukwehlukana okwesikhashana emshadweni kunikeza ithuba imibhangqwana yokuxhumana futhi futhi ingabanjwa yimikhuba yabo yansuku zonke yokuyekethisa nokuzidela.
2. Ukufuna umeluleki ozosiza abalingani ukuthi baxhumane
Ukwehlukana emshadweni kuvumela imibhangqwana ukuthi ilinganise ubudlelwano babo ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene futhi ithole indlela yokuqonda umbono wabalingani babo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bayakwazi ukufika esivumelwaneni lapho bebuyekeza khona okulindelekile abanakho komunye nomunye.
Ngokweqiniso, lokho kuzwakala kuqondile. Kepha, isikhathi esiningi iqiniso libhajwe kakhulu futhi libuhlungu. Imibhangqwana ayikwazi neze ukuphuma emjikelezweni wentukuthelo nentukuthelo.
Kusinyathelo ngasinye esithathiwe ekulungiseni ubudlelwano babo, bagcina bethathe izinyathelo ezimbili zokubuqeda.
Ukuqonda umbono wabalingani bakho akuyona into elula ukuyenza, futhi ngokwethembeka kaningi ungakuthola kungalungile ngemayela.
Ngakho-ke cabanga ngalokhu, kuthiwani uma bekunomuntu ngaphandle lapho ongaqondisa nobabili endaweni lapho ningaxazulula khona izinkinga zakho ngendlela eyakhayo futhi nifunde izindlela ezintsha zokuphelelisana nokwazisana.
Yilokho ukwelulekwa okungakwenzela kona, ukufuna umeluleki ozokusiza ngezinkinga zakho kuyindlela enhle yokonga umshado ngemuva kokwehlukana.
3. Ukubeka obala phambili ebambisaneni
Isici esibalulekile kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano noma umshado ukuthi uthembeke kanjani, futhi uvuleke kangakanani ungaba nomlingani wakho. Ukungafihli lutho ngemizwa yakho kusiza ekwakheni ukuqina, njengoba kukuvumela ukuthi uthululele imizwa yakho ejulile kumuntu ongakuthanda noma yini.
4. Ukuthola kabusha ukusondelana.
Ukusondelana kubaluleke kakhulu ekusindeni kwanoma yimuphi umshado, kungaba ukusondelana ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba. Uma umshado wakho umile futhi kungasabonakali lutho olukujabulisayo udinga ngempela ukuvuselela futhi uthole ukusondelana ukusiza umshado wakho uphumelele.
Uzama ukuqonda nini futhi nini uvuselela kanjani umshado ngemuva kokwehlukana, thatha izinyathelo zezingane njengoba uzama ukuvuselela ubudlelwano bakho nempilo, ukusondelana, ukuvuleleka nethuba. Ungalibali ukuqala isiqalo sakho esisha.