-Delile
Noma ngabe ungashadile noma usebudlelwaneni, udlala indima noma ushadile ngenjabulo, i-COVID-19 ilahle imikhuba yabantu yezothando. Lolu bhubhane lukhombisile ukuthi ubudlelwano buguquka kanjani ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
I-Lockdown yayisho ukuthi abangashadile babengeke besakwazi ukukhipha indawo engaba khona endaweni yabo oyithandayo yosuku, kuyilapho imibhangqwana ingakwazi ukumane ibhukhe impelasonto yothando ukuze inonge izimpilo zayo zothando.
Bebhekene namasonto nezinyanga ezizayo, lapho bebengavunyelwe ukuhlangana nanoma ngubani ngaphandle kwemindeni yabo, ingasaphathwa eyokuhlangana nabo, ukuphola kwabantu abangashadile kuhlala phansi. Futhi, konke kwehle ekugcineni ubudlelwane ngaphezu kombhalo.
Khonamanjalo, imibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye izithole ichitha u-24/7 komunye nomunye, inombono omncane wokuthi into efana nokujwayelekile izoqala nini.
Kodwa-ke, yize ubudlelwano buguquka, ubudlelwano babantu kubonakala bukhombise ukumelana kakhulu nobunzima kunokuba besicabanga.
Ukuzulazula kule nsimu entsha bekungekho ngaphandle kwezithiyo zayo, kepha imibhangqwana eminingi - emisha nemidala - yaxhuma kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili phakathi nobhadane. Nakhu ukuthi kanjani.
Ukuqomisana kusenkingeni
Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa lapho kusetshenziswe izinyathelo ezigunyazayo zokuhlukaniswa, ukusetshenziswa kohlelo lokusebenza lokuthandana kwaqala ukwenyuka. Futhi kungakapheli amasonto, izibalo zase ziphakeme kunanini ngaphambili.
Inombolo emaphakathi yemiyalezo yansuku zonke ethunyelwe kuzingxenyekazi ezinjengeHinge, iMatch.com, ne-OkCupid ngenyanga ka-Ephreli ikhule cishe cishe ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu uma iqhathaniswa noFebhuwari.
Ngemigoqo, izindawo zokudlela, izindawo zokuzivocavoca - futhi cishe zonke ezinye izindawo ezisiza imibuthano yokuzijabulisa - kuvaliwe, abantu bebefuna ukuxhumana nabantu, noma ngabe lokho bekungenziwa ngesikrini.
Kodwa-ke, ngethuba lokuxhuma okusheshayo lisusiwe, izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola zithole abasebenzisi bazo benokubambisana okunenjongo kakhulu kunangaphambili. Abasebenzisi beBumble bebehlanganyela ekushintshaneni ngemilayezo enwetshiwe nakwezingxoxo zekhwalithi ezengeziwe.
Futhi ngalezi zinguquko zobudlelwano ezenzeka phakathi nenhlekelele yomhlaba engakaze ibonwe, akumangazi ukuthi izingxoxo zibukeka zithathe ushintsho olunzulu, zidlula inkulumo encane ejwayelekile.
Labo abacubungula lolu daba bathole ukuthi izingxoxo zokuphola phakathi kwe-COVID-19 zibukeka zeqa kaningi ubuhle obujwayelekile bese zifika ezintweni ezisindayo: Abantu babezivikela kanjani kulo bhubhane? Ngabe umnotho kufanele uvulwe ngokushesha ngaphambi kwesikhathi?
Izimpendulo zale mibuzo zisho lukhulu ngomuntu futhi zavumela abantu ukuthi bacacise ukuthi umdlalo wabo ungumlingani omuhle yini.
Lezi zinguquko zobudlelwano bezibandakanya izingxoxo ezijulile. Futhi, ukungabikho kokuthintana ngokomzimba kuvumele abangashadile abaningi ukuba “banciphise usuku” futhi bazane kahle ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo somzimba.
Eqinisweni, i-85% yabasebenzisi be-OkCupid abahlolisiswe ngesikhathi senhlekelele iveze ukuthi kubaluleke kakhulu kubo ukuthi bakhe ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo ngaphambi kokomzimba. Kubuye kwaba nokukhuphuka okungu-5% kwabasebenzisi abasuka kwinhlolovo efanayo abafuna ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, kanti labo abafuna ama-hookups behle ngo-20%.
Okwalabo abathole ukuthi ukuthumela imiyalezo emuva naphambili phezu kohlelo lokusebenza nje akuwunqumanga, uhlelo lokusebenza lokuphola i-Match.com yethule i- “Vibe Check” - isici sayo sekholi yevidiyo esivumela abasebenzisi ukuthi babone ukuthi ingabe ubuntu babo bebufana kahle ngaphambi kokushintshana ngezinombolo.
UHinge uphinde wethula isici sakhe sokuxoxa ngevidiyo ngesikhathi salo bhubhane, ebhekelela isidingo sokuxhumeka kwangempela ngokungabikho kwezinsuku ze-IRL.
Ukude ngokwenhlalo, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo
Imibhangqwana eminingi ebuhlotsheni lapho ubhadane seluqale yabhekana nombuzo onzima: Ngabe kufanele sihlukane ndawonye?
Ukuthatha isinqumo sokuhlala ndawonye noma ukungabi ndawonye isikhathi sezinyathelo zokuhlukaniswa kwaba yingqophamlando emibhangqwaneni emisha okungenzeka ukuthi ibilinde izinyanga noma iminyaka kuze kube yilapho ithathe isinqumo sokuhlala ndawonye.
Futhi kubonakala sengathi ubumbano lwangempela lwesikhathi esigcwele lube yimpumelelo kwabaningi babo njengoba bazana ezingeni elijulile futhi basheshisa ijubane lobudlelwano babo.
Kulabo abakade behlanganyela ikhaya, iqiniso elisha lakhombisa: Lapho babengeke besabona kuphela abanye babo ababalulekile kusihlwa nangezimpelasonto.
Ayesekho amathuba okuthatha ikhefu komunye nomunye ngezikhathi zokusebenza noma ngenkathi kuphumile ebusuku noma ngempelasonto ekude nabangani.
Noma kunjalo, ngenkathi lobu budlelwano bushintsha kwabangela ukukhathazeka kokuqala phakathi kwemibhangqwana, okwaba nomphumela kwaba ukwanda kokwaneliseka kobudlelwano namazinga okuxhumana.
Le nhlolovo yeNyuvesi yaseMonmouth ithole ukuthi uhhafu wemibhangqwana ubikezele ukuthi uzophuma unamandla ngemuva kokuqhamuka kwesifo, kanti inani labantu abathi "banelisekile ngandlela thile" futhi "abanelisekile" ngobudlelwano babo uma kuqhathaniswa namazinga wangaphambi kwenhlekelele ancishisiwe ngama-50%.
Yize cishe ikota eyodwa yababambiqhaza bethi ukuguqulwa kobudlelwano babo kwengeze ekucindezelekeni kokuphila nge-COVID-19, iningi lalinethemba ngomthelela wobhubhane empumelelweni yesikhathi eside yobudlelwano babo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ama-75% wabaphenduli kulolu cwaningo lweKinsey bathe ukuxhumana nabalingani babo kuthuthukile ngesikhathi sokuhlukaniswa.
Ngaphansi kwamashidi
Kwabaningi abangashadile, ukuphuma emhlabeni nokuqala kabusha impilo yabo yezocansi kuseseyingozi kakhulu. Kushiya indawo encane yokuthobela imihlahlandlela yokuqedwa komphakathi, ikakhulukazi njengoba amacala aqhubeka nokukhuphuka emazweni amaningi.
Kodwa-ke, akukho lutho oluvimba labo abahleli ndawonye ukuthi basebenzise leso sikhathi esengeziwe abebevame ukusisebenzisa ekuhambeni kwabo kwansuku zonke egumbini lokulala.
Ekuqaleni, imibhangqwana eminingi ibike ukucwila emisebenzini yabo yezocansi, ikakhulukazi ngenxa yoshintsho emisebenzini yabo kanye nengcindezi ejwayelekile yezinguquko ezibangelwa ubhadane ebudlelwaneni babo. Kepha, ubudlelwano ngaphandle kokusondelana bufana nomzimba ngaphandle komphefumulo.
Ukukhathazeka kungaholela ekusebenzeni kocansi okungathandeki lapho kwenzeka, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi kwakungeyona isithombe esihle ngemuva kwezicabha zokulala.
Kodwa-ke, kwavela izitayela ezithile ezithakazelisayo njengoba ukuhlukaniswa kwahlukaniswa kwaqhubeka, futhi imibhangqwana yafuna izindlela ezintsha zokwenza ubuciko. Ukuthengiswa kwamathoyizi wezocansi kubonile ukwanda okukhulu ngesikhathi sokukhiya:
- Ithoyizi lezocansi lase-UK kanye nomthengisi wezingubo zangaphansi u-Ann Summers ubone ukuthengisa okuthe xaxa ngo-27% uma kuqhathaniswa nesikhathi esifanayo ngonyaka odlule.
- Umkhiqizo wamathoyizi ocansi waseSweden uLelo uhlangabezane nokukhushulwa okungu-40% kuma-oda.
- Ukuthengiswa kwamathoyizi ocansi eNew Zealand kuphindwe kathathu njengoba kuqaliswa ngokuhlukaniswa.
Lokhu kweza kanye nokuthengisa okwandayo kwezingubo zangaphansi zokunethezeka nakho.
Ngakho-ke, ngenkathi abantu kungenzeka ukuthi bebengenabo ubulili obuningi kakhulu ebhodini, abaningi bebamukela indlela yokuhlola eyengeziwe - kungaba lapho behlangene, noma ngomzamo wokugcina ilangabi liphila ngenkathi behlukene.
Eqinisweni, ama-20% alabo okwaxoxwa nabo ocwaningweni lwaseKinsey bathe bayikhulisile i-repertoire yabo yezocansi ngesikhathi sobhadane.
Lokhu akufanele kusimangaze, ngoba ucansi luyikhambi elihle kakhulu lokukhathazeka okubangelwa ubhadane. Ubulili bufakazelwa ukuthi buyanciphisa ukucindezeleka, bukhuphule imizwa yokwethembana, futhi bukhulise ukusondelana phakathi kwezithandani, yize kunezinguquko ezingacelwanga ebudlelwaneni bazo.
Ngakho-ke, yize singakazi ukuthi kuzoba khona yini ukuqhuma kwengane ezinyangeni eziyisishiyagalolunye, singasho ngokuphepha ukuthi ukwahlukaniswa kwabashadikazi bathole isikhathi sokuhlola izinketho ezahlukahlukene futhi bathole ama-kinks amasha futhi banciphise amazinga okucindezeleka kule nqubo.
Njengoba umnotho womhlaba uvulwa futhi ukwehla kwezenhlalo kuyehla kancane kancane, lokhu kucela lo mbuzo: Ingabe indlela yethu yokuqomisana nobudlelwano ishintshe unomphela?
Yize kuliqiniso ukuthi le nkinga isisithinte unomphela ngezindlela eziningi. Imiphumela yayo kufaka phakathi izinguquko ezahlukahlukene ebudlelwaneni bethu, nempilo yothando kusazobonakala.
Kepha ngokugxila okuvuselelwe ekuxhumaneni okungokomzwelo ngaphezulu kokuxhumana okungajwayelekile, intshisekelo entsha yokuzama ekamelweni lokulala, nabangane abaningi abazithole behlangana 24/7 futhi bakujabulela, akungabazeki ukuthi ilangabi lothando livutha ngokwengeziwe kunanini ngaphambili ngezithandani ezizulazula nobhadane ndawonye.
Futhi Buka: