-Delile
Luyini uthando? Yebo, lowo bekungumbuzo weminyaka. Ngokwe-psychology yothando nomshado, kungumuzwa. Kukhethwa. Kuyisiphetho.
Yini oyikholelwayo ngothando, futhi ishintshe kanjani kule minyaka edlule? Yize uthando lungazizwa lwehlukile futhi lusho okuhlukile kuwo wonke umuntu, sonke siyalufuna.
Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zomshado nobudlelwano bezilokhu zifunda ngomqondo wothando nomshado isikhathi eside.Baye bathola amaqiniso ayisisekelo wothando nolwasemshadweni eminyakeni edlule, okusadinga ukufundwa ngokwengqondo, okungenani sonke singavumelana ngakho:
Ngokokutholwa kwengqondo nokushada kwengqondo, kukhona "uthando lweqiniso" futhi kukhona "umdlwane wothando."
Iningi labantu lazi uthando lwe-puppy njengokuthatheka noma uthando. Uphawu lwe-telltale kuvame ukufika lukhuni futhi lusheshe. Kukhona okuhehayo okukhulu lapho okumboza ingqondo nomzimba.
Izikhathi eziningi, uthando lwe-puppy aluhlali. Sonke sinokuthatheka kwethu siqu; ilingisa uthando lweqiniso kepha alufani. Kungenzeka ukuthi ikhulele othandweni lweqiniso.
Uthando umuzwa nokuzikhethela
Ngokuya ngothando nangomshado wezengqondo, kunzima ukukuchaza, kepha uthando luwumuzwa owuzwa ekujuleni komphefumulo wakho. Lapho uqala ukubeka amehlo enganeni yakho entsha, noma ubheka oshade naye ngosuku lwakho lomshado — uvele uzizwe ujabulile futhi sengathi uzomenzela noma yini lowo muntu.
Kepha ngale kwalowo muzwa, uthando nalo luyinketho. Singakhetha ukwenza ngaleyo mizwa noma cha.
Imvamisa ukwenza leyo mizwa kuzala eminye imizwa yothando, njalonjalo. Kwesinye isikhathi abanye kunzima ukubathanda, kepha sisengakhetha ukuthanda kubo.
Lokho futhi luthando, kepha njengokukhetha; noma kunjalo kuleso sikhundla kungakhula kube imizwa yothando.
Ngokuhambisana nalokho, imibhangqwana eminingi ingena futhi iphume othandweni. Kungani? Lokhu kuhlobene nokuthi abantu bashintsha kanjani ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, nokuthi sikhululeka kanjani phakathi kwethu.
Elinye lamaqiniso athakazelisayo ngomshado ukuthi umshado uhlale usebenza.
Kubalulekile ukwenza izinto ngothando nokunakekela ubudlelwano ukugcina uthando luphila. Uthando, nokho, luyashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngisho nocwaningo lisho njalo. Ngaphandle kokukhulisa umshado uphenduka ube muncu futhi ube yisicefe.
I-Psychology yothando ithi ungaba nothando ngaphandle komshado, futhi ungaba nomshado ngaphandle kothando. Kepha, uthando nomshado akuhlangene.
Umshado imvamisa uyisiboniso sabantu ababili abaqinisa uthando lwabo komunye nomunye ekuzibophezeleni kwempilo yonke.
Sonke siyaludinga uthando. Okuthile ngokuba ngumuntu kudinga ukuthi sizizwe sixhumene, ukwamukelwa, ukwaziswa. Lokho nakho kuyathandwa. Silangazelela ukuthi abanye basithande, futhi bathande nabanye.
Ngokwe-psychology yothando neyomshado, kusinikeza injongo ephakeme kanye nogqozi lokuba ngcono futhi siphile impilo enhle.
Lapho sithandwa njengezingane, ubuchopho bethu bukhula ngendlela enempilo, buthola ukuxhumana okusisizayo ezimpilweni zethu zonke. Kepha futhi lowo muzwa wokuphepha nenjabulo yinto esiyilangazelelayo.
Amaqiniso wothando
Nawa amanye amaqiniso athakazelisayo ngothando nangomshado.
La maqiniso angempela ngothando azokwenza umoyizele futhi uphephuke inhliziyo ngenjabulo. La maqiniso ezengqondo ezothando nomshado azokusiza nokuthi uthole impendulo yombuzo othi, “luyini uthando nomshado”.
La maqiniso athakazelisayo ezingqondo ngothando aqala ukukhanya kwi-psychology yomshado futhi aveze amaqiniso obudlelwano obuqondayo be-psychology.
La maqiniso amnandi ngomshado nothando azokwenza ufune ukuhlala kulo mzwelo ofudumele futhi ontekenteke, nomlingani wakho ebudlelwaneni obuhlala njalo.
- Elinye lamaqiniso athakazelisayo ngokwengqondo ngothando lelo ukuba sothandweni kukunika okuphezulu kakhulu! Ukuwela othandweni kudala ukukhululwa kwamahomoni afana ne-dopamine, i-oxytocin, ne-adrenaline.
- La mahomoni akunikeza umuzwa wenjabulo, impumelelo, nenjabulo. Uma usothandweni, ujabule ngokweqile.
- Amaqiniso othando lweqiniso afaka phakathi ukubheka izikhathi zokuthwalwa njengomkhuba ongcwele othuthukisa inhlalakahle yakho futhi ugcine ubuhlungu bungekho. Ukugona umlingani wakho noma ukubanga kubo, kunciphisa ikhanda elingapheli nokukhathazeka.
- Ukugona othandekayo wakho kukhuthaza umuzwa ofanayo wokukhululeka owenziwa yipilisi lokunciphisa izinhlungu, yize kungenayo imiphumela emibi engaba khona.
- Amaqiniso engqondo ngothando nobudlelwano aveza indima yobudlelwano ekwakheni ubuntu nenqubo yokucabanga.
- Ukuba sothandweni kwenza abantu babe nethemba futhi bazethembe ngokwengeziwe. It ikhuthaza abantu ukuthi babe nozwelo, nozwela futhi usebenze endaweni yokuzidela kanye nombono omuhle.
- Wena noshade naye ningazuza kakhulu ngokuhleka ndawonye. Amaqiniso eqiniso engqondo ngothando agcizelela ukubaluleka kwenjabulo futhi ukuhleka ebudlelwaneni, esho ukuthi isizathu sempilo ende, impilo enhle, nokweneliseka ebudlelwaneni.
- Dlulisa ukubonga okusuka enhliziyweni kumyeni noma unkosikazi wakho ngokukugcina uphilile. Abantu banentambo ngokwengqondo ukuhlala emaqenjini abumbene noma izibopho ezijabulisayo nozakwabo. Amaqiniso ngokwengqondo ngomshado aqokomisa ukubaluleka kwesibopho esisondelene emshadweni.
- Lapho abalingani bethola ukusekelwa okungokomzwelo, baphulukisa ngokushesha ekuguleni nasekulimaleni. Lapho usothandweni futhi ujabulela ubudlelwane obunempilo, kunikela ekucindezelekeni kwegazi okuphansi nasekuvakasheni okumbalwa kudokotela wakho.
- Amaqiniso ngomshado wothando afanelwe ukushiwo umshado omude kunayo yonke owathatha iminyaka engama-86. UHerbert Fisher noZelmyra Fisher bashada ngomhlaka 13 Meyi 1924 eNorth Carolina, e-USA.
- Babeneminyaka engama-86 beshadile, izinsuku ezingama-290 kusukela ngomhlaka-27 Febhuwari 2011, lapho uMnu uFisher edlula emhlabeni.