-Delile
- Indlela isehlukaniso esizithinta ngayo izingane
- Izehlukaniso zisiza abantu ukuthi bathole amandla abo angaphakathi
- Uma othile ekholwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi uzoqina, bazoba namandla
Ukuhlakazwa komshado kuyigama lobuchwepheshe lesehlukaniso futhi lifaka ukunqanyulwa okusemthethweni kwezibopho zomshado nezibopho zabo ezihambisana nomthetho.
Elinye iphuzu elibalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ukuqedwa komshado, okuvame ukusetshenziswa ngokushintshana nesehlukaniso, kuyahlukahluka kuye ngombuso futhi nemithetho iyahluka ngokwamazwe. Kuyalulekwa-ke ukuthi uzenzele ucwaningo noma uthintane nochwepheshe uma kukhulunywa ngezingqinamba zomthetho.
Lo mbhalo uzogxila ezingxenyeni ezingokwengqondo zesehlukaniso.
Into eyodwa engiyifundile emgqeni wami wokusebenzela ukukhonza imibhangqwana nemindeni ukuthi isimo somuntu ngamunye sihluke kakhulu: okuholela esahlukanisweni, ulwazi lwesehlukaniso, nokunye okuphathelene nale nqubo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ilungu ngalinye lomndeni lisabela ngendlela ehlukile. Ukuthambekela ukuzizwa ukwahlulela ngalokhu, kungaba ngokwakho noma kwabanye. Ngokuvamile lokhu akuyona inkambo yesenzo esiza kakhulu ongayithatha. Akuxazululi lutho futhi kumane nje kungeze “uphethiloli emlilweni” sizothi. Kunzima ngokwanele ukudlula esehlukanisweni, asikho isizathu sokwengeza enye ingcindezi.
Isibonelo, abanye abashadile baba nezimpawu zokuhlaselwa ukwethuka, ukucindezeleka, noma ukukhathazeka okokuqala empilweni yakhe ngesikhathi sehlukaniso noma ngemuva kwaso. Abanye banenkinga yokulala. Futhi abanye namanje, bahlangabezana nalesi sikhathi ngomusa olinganiselwe nangokukhululeka.
Imvamisa, umuntu angathola okuningi noma konke lokhu okungenhla. Kuyinto ejwayelekile ngokuphelele ukuzizwa sengathi umuntu usohambweni lwe-rollercoaster ngokomzwelo ngalesi sikhathi.
Indlela isehlukaniso esizithinta ngayo izingane
Ngibonile nezingane zisabela ngezindlela ezingafani. Ngokuphikisana nenkolelo evamile, isehlukaniso “asizidubi” unomphela zonke izingane. Izingane zingaba namandla okuqina futhi zibone.
Ngokwesibonelo, omunye umama washaqeka lapho indodana yakhe imbuza, “Kungani nina nobaba nizondana?” Umama wayecabanga ukuthi wenza uhlelo oluhle phambi kwezingane futhi wayebasiza ngokuhlala ndawonye noyise. Uyawuphakamisa umbuzo ... mhlawumbe ukuhlala ndawonye ngenxa yezingane akuyona njalo inketho engcono kunokuhlukana?
Ngesinye isikhathi, ngangineklayenti elalikhathazeke ngokumangazayo ngezingane zalo. Uthe ulokhu exolisa nje kubo. Kwathi ngelinye ilanga indodana yakhe yafika neprojekthi eyayiyenzele isikole efundeka kanje, “Umama uhlale ekhathazekile ngathi. Ngifuna nje ukumtshela ukuthi ‘Mama, siyaphila.’
Izehlukaniso zisiza abantu ukuthi bathole amandla abo angaphakathi
Ngakho-ke, ulayini wesiliva ongaba khona ngaphakathi komunyu wedivosi kungaba ukuthi uphoqa umuntu ukuthi azitholele amandla akhe wangaphakathi nokuqina.
Ukuqina kwengqondo kuchazwa ngesipiliyoni sokuzivumelanisa nezimo ekuphenduleni okuguqukayo kwezidingo zesimo kanye namandla okubuyela emuva kokuhlangenwe nakho okungathandeki ngokomzwelo.
Futhi qagela ukuthi yini edlala indima enkulu ekutheni ngabe umuntu ubuyela ngokushesha ngemuva kwezingqinamba, ingcindezi nobunzima?
Uma othile kucabanga zizobuyela emuva ngokushesha.
"Labo abazikala njengabanamandla okuziphindaphinda ngempumelelo uma behlangabezana nezingcindezi nabo bakhombisile le mfanelo ngokomzimba."- 2004 ukuhlaziywa kocwaningo okwenziwe nguTugade, Fredrickson, & Barrett
Uma othile ekholwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi uzoqina, bazoba namandla
Abantu ababecabanga ukuthi bazobuyela emuva ngokushesha ezenzakalweni ezicindezelayo bakuthole lokhu ezingeni lomzimba nemizimba yabo icindezela impendulo yengcindezi futhi babuyela emuva ekuqaleni ngokushesha kunalabo ababengaziboni beqinile.
Ngaphandle kokunciphisa amandla akho okuqina, abantu bangangena enkingeni lapho bekhathazeka ngokweqile noma bezama ukubikezela ikusasa. Ngivame ukukhuluma nabantu abanesiqiniseko sokuthi bayazi ukuthi bazozizwa kanjani ngesikhathi sehlukaniso nangemva kwaso ...
Yebo, kuvela ukuthi abantu bangabethuli abampofu kakhulu bokuthi bazosabela kanjani ngesikhathi nangemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle. Yilesi simiso esingalungile sokuqagela esibaholela ekutheni benze izinqumo ezandisa ulwazi lokuphazamiseka emoyeni.
Njengoba isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseHarvard uDaniel Gilbert sisho, ”Asikuthathi kancane ukuthi imizwa yethu izoshintsha masinyane ngokwengxenye ngoba sibukela phansi ikhono lethu lokuyiguqula. Lokhu kungaholela ekutheni sithathe izinqumo ezingakhulisi ikhono lethu lokwaneliseka. ”
Sekukonke, isehlukaniso ushintsho olukhulu empilweni futhi yisikhathi soguquko esiboniswa ngamahla-ndenyuka amaningi. Kodwa-ke, ngiyabona abantu abaningi beza ngakolunye uhlangothi ngokuqonda okujulile kwabo okuqhubeka nokubasebenzela ezimpilweni zabo zonke.