-Delile
- 1. Hhayi esimeni sokwenza uthando
- 2. Ukulwa ngezinkinga ezifanayo
- 3. Ukuziphatha ngokungesabi
- 4. Ukuxhumana okukha phezulu
- 5. Ukungakwazi ukujabulela ukuthintana ngokomzimba
- 6. Ukhathele kakhulu ukulwa
- 7. Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo
Ake sibhekane nakho. Awujabule futhi ukhathele. Uma ngabe ushade isikhathi esithile, mhlawumbe uyaqonda ukuthi le mizwa iyizimpawu nje zezikhathi ezinzima nezimbi ezichaza ubudlelwano.
Okwamanje, kukhona okungahambi kahle. Mhlawumbe usuvele usebenza ngakho kepha kubonakala kungafiki ndawo. Mhlawumbe awazi ukuthi uqale kuphi.
Uma uzwa sengathi izinkinga zakho zomshado ziyaphuma esandleni, futhi ucansi nokusondelana owake waba naye emshadweni uye wawa kancane kancane. Lapho-ke mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuba uzithathe ngokungathi sína izindaba zokusondelana emshadweni.
Kungenzeka ukuthi bekuyisigaba nje esedlule kepha manje udinga ukuthi ukhumbule kakhudlwana futhi ufune ukwelulekwa ngocansi noma ukwelashwa ngokusondelana. Kepha kuyini ukwelulekwa ngokusondelana?
Yebo, ukwelulekwa ngokusondelana kuyinqubo lapho umbhangqwana ungafunda ukuxazulula noma yiziphi izinkinga zokusondelana komshado futhi uthuthukise izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokusondelana emshadweni wabo.
Ukwelulekwa ngokusondelana okubizwa nangokuthi ukwelashwa ngocansi kwezithandani, noma ukwelashwa kocansi nokusondelana kungakusiza wena noma oshade naye ukunqoba noma ikuphi ukwesaba maqondana nokusondelana okungenzeka ukuthi kuvela ekuhlukunyezweni okwedlule, izingqinamba zokulahla, izingqinamba zokulawula, nezinye izizathu eziningi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukwelashwa ngocansi kwabashadikazi kungakusiza uqonde kangcono izidingo zomlingani wakho, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukubekezela kwakha ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ngakho-ke uma une-intuition yokuthi ukusondelana emshadweni wakho kungahle kucime ujantshi, naka lezi zimpawu eziyisixwayiso ezi-7 okuxoxwe ngazo ngezansi bese sikukhombisa ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nazo ngempumelelo.
1. Hhayi esimeni sokwenza uthando
Yebo, sonke sinezikhathi lapho sikhathele kakhulu ukukwenza kwenzeke. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma lezi zikhathi zenzeka kaningi, kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona okuqhubekayo ngaphansi komhlaba.
Abantu abaningi bazithola bengabanaki abalingani babo ngokuphelele ngoba bayayeka ukuhehwa yibo. Lokhu akudingeki ukuthi kube yinto ebonakalayo kepha kungaba uphawu lwenkinga ecashile: ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzwelo kulahlekile.
Ukwelashwa kocansi kwabashadile imibhangqwana ukwelulekwa ngomshado ingakusiza ukuvuselela ukuxhumana okujulile noshade naye ngokukufundisa ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka kwakho futhi uqinise ubudlelwano bakho.
2. Ukulwa ngezinkinga ezifanayo
Ukuba nezimpikiswano kuwuphawu lobudlelwano obunempilo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kumane kusho ukuthi uzimisele ukwenza umzamo wokulungisa izinkinga zakho. Kepha lokhu kuyiqiniso kuphela ngezinga elithile. Lapho usubonile ukuthi ulwa nezinkinga ezifanayo kaninginingi, sekuyisikhathi sokuthola umeluleki wemishado.
Njengombhangqwana, nobabili niyinyunyana futhi ningohlukile kubantu ababili abahlukene. Ngenkathi uzama ukulinganisela izidingo zakho nezomshado wakho, akumangazi ukuthi izingxabano zentshisekelo zingavela.
Uma nobabili nobalingani bakho ninobuntu obuqinile, akunakwenzeka ukuthi bazofinyelela ekuvumelaneni bodwa. Umlamuli uzokwazi ukukusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthi yini ekufanele kakhulu ukubambisana kwakho.
Ukwelulekwa ngokocansi kwabashadile noma amashabhu wokucobelelana ngolwazi ngezithandani angakusiza ngobuhle bokuqonda ukubaluleka kocansi emshadweni.
3. Ukuziphatha ngokungesabi
Njengoba izingane zenza ngabazali bazo, imibhangqwana emisha ivame ukuzama ukuthola umkhawulo komunye nomunye. Lapho usukwazi kakhulu ezingeni elijulile, cishe uzokwazi ongakwazi nongakusho kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kuyiqiniso nangesikhathi sezimpikiswano.
Ngezinkinga zobudlelwano nokho, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi wazi amagama akho, ngoba kulula ukulimaza umuntu lapho ulwa ngendaba ebucayi kangako.
Uma ubona ukuthi uqala ukuqhafaza izinto ongaziqondile, thatha izinyathelo ezifanele zokufunda ukuthi ungayibonisa kanjani imizwa yakho ngaphandle kokulimaza umlingani wakho ungahlosile. Yilapho ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana kungena khona.
Onekhono owelapha ngocansi kwabashadile akunakusiza kuphela onakho ucansi olungcono emshadweni kepha futhi kukusiza ukulawula nokuhambisa imizwa yakho ngaphandle kokulimaza umlingani wakho.
4. Ukuxhumana okukha phezulu
Ngigcine nini nobabili ukukhuluma kahle? Ngabe konke okhuluma ngakho kukha phezulu futhi akusho lutho? Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukungakwazi ukuba nengxoxo ejulile nomlingani wakho kungaholela ekuhlukanisweni ngokomzwelo, okungakuholela ngokushesha endleleni yokwehlukana.
Ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa kwezithandani, uzofunda ukuthi ungakhuluma kanjani ngemizwa yakho, ngezifiso zakho, nangokuphatheka kabi ngendlela umlingani wakho angayiqonda futhi aqonde ngayo.
5. Ukungakwazi ukujabulela ukuthintana ngokomzimba
Ngabe wena nomlingani wakho nisondelene kwesinye isikhathi, kepha awusakuthokozeli njengakuqala? Izizathu eziningi kungenzeka ukuthi zidala le nkinga, futhi akusho ukuthi umshado wakho wehla ngesilinganiso sesaga.
Ukwelulekwa ngokusondelana komshado kubaluleke kakhulu kuleli cala ngoba umeluleki angakusiza ekutholeni imbangela nesixazululo senkinga yakho.
6. Ukhathele kakhulu ukulwa
Izimpikiswano zezikhathi ezithile ziyingxenye ejwayelekile yobunye ubudlelwano. Kepha kwenzekani uma ungawatholi amandla okuphatha ezinye izimpi? Uma uzizwa umlingani wakho engakuqondi futhi nezinkinga zakho seziphuma esandleni, cishe akunakwenzeka ukuthola isisusa sokuqhubeka uzama.
Kubukeka sengathi kuyaphikisana, kepha empeleni lokhu kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi umshado wakho usengozini enkulu. Ukukhuluma nomeluleki wemishado kungenzeka kube yindlela yakho yokugcina ongayithatha.
7. Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo
Cishe ungene kulo mshado unethemba lokuthola uthando, uthando nokusondelana ngakolunye uhlangothi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izinto azihambanga ngendlela obuyilindele.
Uma wena noshade naye ninenkinga yokuxhumana nokusondelana, kungokwemvelo ukuthi uqale ulahlekelwe yilezi zikhathi zokusondelana futhi mhlawumbe uze uqale ukucabanga ngokuzaba ngomunye umuntu.
Ukusuka lapho uye phambili, kulula kakhulu ukuthatha isinyathelo esilandelayo futhi ube nobudlelwano bangempela. Kepha ukungathembeki imvamisa kuyisivumelwano futhi kungalimaza nemishado eqinile.
Gwema ukulahlekelwa ubuhlobo bakho nge ukuthola umshado counselor ngokushesha.