-Delile
- 1. Yiba khona komunye nomunye
- 2. Veza ukubonga
- 3. Thatha uhambo oluya emzileni wememori
- 4. Ungakunaki ukubaluleka kokusondelana ngokomzimba
- 5. Zithande
- 6. Khulumisana ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka
- 7. Xazulula izingxabano ebudlelwaneni
- 8. Yiba sengozini komunye nomunye
- 9. Khulumani ngokuthi kungani nithandana
Cela umeluleki wemishado ukuthi enze uhlu lwezinto ezibalulekile ezenza umshado omuhle, futhi bazobeka "ukusondelana okuqinile ngokomzwelo phakathi kwezithandani" phezulu ohlwini. Kuyakumangaza lokho? Iningi labantu lingacabanga izinto ezifana nobulili obuhle, ukunethezeka kwezezimali kanye nokushoda kwengxabano kungaba yingxenye yendlela yomshado omuhle. Zonke lezo zinto zibalulekile, kunjalo, kepha ngaphandle kokuxhumana okuqinile ngokomzwelo, akunakwenzeka ukubumba lezo zinto (nezinye) ezidingekayo emshadweni ocebile ngokomzwelo. Ake sibheke ukuthi umshado ocebile ngokomzwelo wenziwa kanjani.
Izinyathelo zokwakha umshado wakho ocebile ngokomzwelo
1. Yiba khona komunye nomunye
Kalula nje, thinta oshade naye lapho bekhuluma. Kulula ukulalela uhhafu umlingani wakho, njengoba ukunakwa kwethu kudonswa ezinye izinto eziningi ezisizungezile: izidingo zezingane zethu, imisebenzi yasendlini futhi empeleni yimishini yethu kagesi. Ngabe ujwayele ukubuka ifoni yakho ukuze ubheke imilayezo engenayo sonke isikhathi ngenkathi uthi “um hum” uphendula okuthile owabelana naye ngakwakho? Ngabe uyakulandela uzungeze indlu elandisa usuku lwakhe ngenkathi uthatha ilondolo, ubeka igilosa bese ubeka itafula? Uyazibona lapho? Yonke le yimikhuba ekhishwa engcebweni yakho engokomzwelo. Yenza umzamo wokuzinikela ukuze niqondane lapho nikhuluma nomunye. Ahlangane namehlo akhe. Lalela ngempela. Uma uzizwa udonswa ukuze uqedele okuthile kuqala ngaphambi kokuthi ungene kuye, mtshele kanjalo. “Ngifuna ukuzwa kakhulu ngosuku lwakho kodwa ngidinga ukushaya ucingo olulodwa kuqala. Singakhuluma ngemizuzu emihlanu? Kubalulekile ukuthi ngibe ‘lapha’ ngokuphelele ukukulalela. ”
2. Veza ukubonga
Umlingani wakho ubalulekile enjabulweni yakho. Uma ubakhumbuza ngalokhu, usiza ukwakha ingcebo engokomzwelo emshadweni wakho. Yenza ukuthi ukubonga kwakho kube kweqiniso: uma bekwenzela okuthile okuhle, njengokumangaza ngezimbali noma ukubhuka umuntu ozoba umzanyana ukuze nizithokozise ngokwenu ubusuku obubodwa, babange futhi ubatshele ukuthi isenzo sabo sijabule kangakanani ukwenzile. “Nginenhlanhla KAKHULU ungumlingani wami” kungenye yezincomo ezinhle kakhulu ongazinikeza (noma ozamukelayo).
3. Thatha uhambo oluya emzileni wememori
Indlela enhle yokugcina ingcebo yakho engokomzwelo iqhubeka ukubheka izinsuku zokuqala zobudlelwano bakho. Imibhangqwana elandisa usuku lwayo lokuqala, ukuqabulana kokuqala, ukwenza uthando okokuqala ndawonye ikhumbula lezi zikhathi zenjabulo, ezihumusha ukuzizwa usondelene futhi nomlingani wakho.
4. Ungakunaki ukubaluleka kokusondelana ngokomzimba
Kulula ukuvumela uthando lwenze isilayidi lapho izinto zihamba ngokugcwele nezingane, umsebenzi, kanye neminye imithwalo yemfanelo yokuba mdala. Kepha ukhiye wokugcina umshado ocebile ngokomzwelo uhlangothi olubonakalayo lobambiswano lwakho. Musa ukulinda isifiso sokuteleka: simemele ngaphakathi ngokunganga embhedeni ndawonye. Kwenze iphuzu lokuthi niyolala ndawonye: musa ukujwayela ukuthi omunye wenu alale phambi kohlelo lwakho lwe-TV oluthandayo ngenkathi omunye ethatha umhlalaphansi egumbini lokulala ukuze aqedele leyo noveli ethengiswa kakhulu. Leyo yindlela eqinisekile yomlilo yokungaxhumi ocansini.
5. Zithande
Ukuze ukwazi ukwabelana ngengcebo engokomzwelo nomlingani wakho, udinga ukuthi utshale imali engcebweni yakho engokomzwelo kuqala. Ukwenza kanjani lokho? Ngokuzinakekela. Yidla uphilile ukuze uzizwe kahle ngalokhu okufaka emzimbeni wakho. Thola uhlobo oluthile lokuvivinya umzimba usuku ngalunye. Bona ukuthi yini ongayenza ngaphandle kokusebenzisa imoto yakho — ungahamba ngezinyawo uye edolobheni ukuyonakekela eminye yemisebenzi yakho? Thatha izitebhisi esikhundleni selifthi? Awudingi ukuchitha indibilishi kubulungu bokuzivocavoca; kunamavidiyo amaningi asekhaya okuzilolonga atholakala ku-inthanethi. Lapho uzizwa ujabulile lapho ukhona, ekhanda lakho nasemzimbeni wakho, usesimweni esihle sokunikela engcebweni engokomzwelo yomshado wakho.
6. Khulumisana ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka
Sonke sinezidingo ezingokomzwelo; ukwabelana ngalokhu nomlingani wakho kwandisa ingcebo engokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni. Okunye kwalokhu kungaba: isidingo sokubonwa nokuzwakala, sikhuthazwe, sicatshangelwe, sifakwe, sondliwe, siqondwe, samukelwe, sihlanganyele, sithintwe, sibanjwe, sifiswe, futhi sixolelwe lapho senze into esikhubekisayo.
7. Xazulula izingxabano ebudlelwaneni
Imibhangqwana evikela izingxabano idiliza ingcebo yabo yokusondelana ngokomzwelo, kunokusebenzela ukuyakha. Imvamisa imibhangqwana icabanga ukuthi uma ingakhulumi ngezinkinga, lezi zizophela. Ngokuphikisana nalokho, ukungqubuzana okungasonjululwanga kuholela entukuthelweni efihliwe nasekuhlukanisweni ekugcineni. Funda ukubhekana nezingxabano ngendlela eyakhayo, futhi uzobe unikela engcebweni engokomzwelo yomshado wakho.
8. Yiba sengozini komunye nomunye
Ungesabi ukukhombisa umlingani wakho lapho uzizwa wesaba, ubuthakathaka noma ukhungathekile. Enye yezindlela ezishesha kakhulu zokujulisa ingcebo yakho engokomzwelo ukukhombisa lolu hlangothi lwakho, nokuvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi akududuze futhi akwenze uzizwe usekelwa. Lokhu kunizuzisa nobabili futhi kuyinsika yokwakha ukusondelana ngokomzwelo emshadweni wakho. Ukwabelana ngohlangothi lwakho olusengozini kungakhulisa zonke izinhlobo zokusondelana ebudlelwaneni bakho - ezothando, ezocansi, ezomoya, ezengqondo nezengqondo.
9. Khulumani ngokuthi kungani nithandana
Ukuxoxa ngobudlelwano bakho umzuzu osondelene ngempela. Lezi zingxoxo zijulisa ukuxhumana kwakho okungokomzwelo ngaphezu kwanoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lwengxoxo. Awukhulumi ngocansi noma ngezothando kuphela, ukhuluma ngemizwa yenu yobumbano yobunye. Ukuqinisekiswa okuzenzekelayo komcebo womzwelo kuqinisekisiwe!