-Delile
- 1. Ukufunda ukuthola okuhle emaphutheni ophathina wakho
- 2. Ukuba nesibopho ngempendulo yakho ezenzweni zomlingani wakho
- 3. Qaphela izinto ezimbili ezinhle ezenziwe umlingani wakho ngosuku
- 4. Ukufunda ukuvuma ukungapheleli kwakho
- 5. Ukufunda ukuba ngumuntu ngokuphelele hhayi abantu abaphelele
Akuvamile ukuthi umqondo onamandla wokushintsha ubudlelwano ube negama elimnandi ukusho.
Wabi-sabi (wobby sobby) igama lesiJapane okunzima ukulisho ngaphandle kokumamatheka elichaza indlela ejulile yokubuka ubudlelwane nawe, nabanye abantu, kanye nempilo nje. Richard Powell umbhali we I-Wabi Sabi Elula akuchaze ngokuthi, “Ukwamukela umhlaba njengongaphelele, ongakaqedwa, futhi odlulayo, bese ungena ujule futhi ubungaze lelo qiniso.”
Ifa elidluliselwe esizukulwaneni ngesizukulwane liyaziswa, hhayi naphezu kwezimpawu zokulisebenzisa, kodwa ngenxa yalawo maki. Akekho owake wathi uLeonard Cohen, uBob Dylan, noma uLead Belly bangabaculi abakhulu ngomqondo ojwayelekile wegama, kepha bangabaculi abahle kakhulu ngombono wababi-sabi.
Nawa ama-5 obudlelwano obubalulekile asuselwa kumqondo we-Wabi-sabi
1. Ukufunda ukuthola okuhle emaphutheni ophathina wakho
Ukuba wabi-sabi ebudlelwaneni nomunye kungaphezu kokubekezelela ukungapheleli komlingani wakho, kungukuthola okuhle kulabo okuthiwa amaphutha.
Kutholwa ukwamukelwa hhayi yize kunamaphutha, kepha kungenxa yabo. Ukuba wabi-sabi ebudlelwaneni ukunikela ekuzameni “ukulungisa” lowo muntu, okuvula isikhathi esiningi namandla okuba ndawonye nokungqubuzana okuncane.
Ubudlelwano buvame ukudlula ezigabeni. Eyokuqala ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthatheka noma “ukuthandana.” Omunye umuntu nombhangqwana owenziwayo ubonakala ecishe aphelele. Isigaba sesibili yilapho elinye noma elinye lamalungu alo mbhangqwana libona ukuthi izinto, okusho ukuthi omunye umuntu, aziphelele kangako. Ngokwazi lokhu, abanye abantu bakhipha ibheyili ebudlelwaneni ukuze baphinde bafune lowo muntu ophelele, umphefumulo womlingani wakhe, oyobaqedela. Kepha ngenhlanhla, abantu abaningi banquma ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni babo futhi balungise izinto.
Ngeshwa, lokho ngokuvamile kusho ukuzama ukuguqula omunye umuntu abe ngendlela abe "kufanele" abe ngayo. Imibhangqwana eminingi ichitha impilo yayo yonke isemzabalazweni wokushintsha omunye.
Abanye abantu bagcina bebuthola ubuwula bokuzama “ukulungisa” omunye umuntu ebudlelwaneni kodwa baqhubeke benyanye ngokuthi lowo abamthandayo ngeke aguquke. Intukuthelo ifika ezingxabanweni kepha ayikaze ixazululwe. Noma kunjalo, abanye bayakwazi ukufika ezingeni lokubekezelela ukushiyeka kothandekayo wabo ngaphandle kokucasuka.
2. Ukuba nesibopho ngempendulo yakho ezenzweni zomlingani wakho
Imibhangqwana embalwa kuphela ekwazi ukufinyelela esigabeni lapho iqala khona ukubona izenzo / imicabango / imizwa yomunye umuntu hhayi njengokukhombisa ukubaluleka kwayo, kepha njengamathuba okuzithiba. Amalungu ale mibhangqwana engajwayelekile yilabo abathatha lesi sikhundla; "Ngingu-100% obhekene nobudlelwano bami obungu-50%." Leso simo sengqondo asisho ukuthi umuntu u-50% obhekene nokwenziwa omunye umuntu, kepha kusho ukuthi umuntu unesibopho ngokuphelele sokuthi umuntu uphendula kanjani ezenzweni zomunye umuntu.
3. Qaphela izinto ezimbili ezinhle ezenziwe umlingani wakho ngosuku
Enye indlela yokukhuthaza ubudlelwano obujabulisayo ukushintshana ebusuku lapho umuntu ngamunye ethwala umthwalo wephutha futhi aqaphele izinto ezimbili ezinhle ezenziwa omunye umuntu ngalolo suku.
Umlingani 1- “Into eyodwa engiyenzile namuhla eye yanciphisa ukusondelana kwethu bekungakushayeli ucingo ngesikhathi esivumelene ukuthi ngizokushayela ngaso. Ngiyaxolisa ngalokho. Into eyodwa oyenzile ukuthuthukisa ukusondelana kwethu lapho ungitshela ukuthi ulimele futhi uthukuthele ukuthi angikubuyisanga awuzange umeme, kepha ukusho ngomoya ophansi. Into yesibili oyenzile ethuthukise ukusondelana kwethu namuhla ukungibonga ngokucosha indawo yokuhlanza eyomile. Ngiyathanda uma ubona lapho ngenza izivumelwano bese uyangibonga. ”
4. Ukufunda ukuvuma ukungapheleli kwakho
Ukugxila ekungaphelelweni komuntu siqu kunokubheka omunye umuntu ngenkathi futhi ubheka izinto ezinhle omunye umuntu azenzile washintsha isitayela sokuxhumana kusuka kokuvame ukutholakala ebudlelwaneni obuphikisana kakhulu lapho umuntu ngamunye eyingcweti kulokho akwenzile kahle futhi uchwepheshe walokho omunye umuntu akwenzile okungalungile.
5. Ukufunda ukuba ngumuntu ngokuphelele hhayi abantu abaphelele
Mhlawumbe ubudlelwano obuyinselele kakhulu ukwenza i-wabi-sabi bungobakho. “Ukukhubazeka kobuntu bethu,” kanye “nokushiyeka” yikho okusenze saba yilokho esiyikho namuhla. Zilingana ngokwengqondo, ngokomzwelo nangokomoya imibimbi, izibazi kanye nolayini bokuhleka emizimbeni yethu.
Asisoze saba ngabantu abaphelele, kepha singaba ngabantu abaphelele.Ngenkathi uLeonard Cohen eshaya iculo lakhe le-wabi sabi Ingoma, “Kukhona ukuqhekeka kuyo yonke into. Ukukhanya kungena kanjalo. ”
