-Delile
- 1. Anibheki ukwesekana
- 2. Ungazizwa sengathi uhlala nomuntu ongamazi
- 3. Lokhu kungakuphuca ukuxhumana kwakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
- Ungakulungisa kanjani ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni
Ngabe ukungakhulumisani emshadweni kuyayinciphisa injabulo yakho emshadweni?
Lapho usunesikhathi eside ushadile, ungacabanga ukuthi kuyinto engavamile ukukhulumisana emshadweni.
Ungena enkambeni noma esimisweni esijwayelekile futhi ungene kwimodi yesenzo ukuze wenze konke kwenziwe.
Yize nishadile, kulula ukukuthatha kalula nje ngakho-ke ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuxhumana kubonakala kungahambi. Izingxoxo ebezijatshulelwa omunye nomunye ziphenduka izingxoxo ezisebenzayo ephaseji.
Ungahamba usuku lonke ungakhulumanga ngisho nomunye, futhi mhlawumbe ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuyinto ejwayelekile.
Yize izingxoxo zihamba ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, iqiniso ukuthi uma ningakhulumi ngempela kungadala izinkinga ezinkulu emshadweni wenu. Umshado ngaphandle kokuxhumana, ngaphandle kokushintshana ngemicabango, imizwa nemizwelo awunakugcinwa.
Ungathola ukuthi awukhathaleli ngempela ukwenza omunye nomunye eze kuqala, ngakho-ke lapho ukuxhumana sekuqala ukushelela umshado ungangena endaweni eyingozi.
Akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukukulungisa, kepha ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuthi awukaze ukuthathe kalula ukuxhumana okuhle.
Kunezinkinga ezinkulu ezingaba khona lapho ukuxhumana kuqala ukuhlupheka, futhi uma uzazi lokhu futhi uqinisekise ukuthi ugcina izinto zihamba ngendlela efanele uthando luzonqoba konke.
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi “abalingani abenelisekile ngokwengeziwe babonisa ukukhulumisana okuhle, okungekuhle, nokukhulumisana okuphumelelayo.”
Nazi izizathu zokuthi ukungakhulumisani emshadweni kungaba yinkinga ngempela.
1. Anibheki ukwesekana
Lokhu kungazwakala njengenkinga enkulu, kepha kunjalo ngempela. Uma ushadile kufanele ube ngumuntu wokuqala ngamunye aphendukela kuye ukuze athole usizo, usizo, nenhlonipho.
Uma lokho kushoda ungabhekela omunye umuntu ngenxa yesidingo, futhi lokhu akuvami ukuphela kahle. Uma ningakhulumi ngempela noma lapho nizwa ukuthi anikwazi ukukhuluma omunye nomunye, ukwesekwa kuyaphela bese niba njengabantu enihlala nabo.
Wazi kanjani ukuthi awusekeli umlingani wakho?
- Uyakucisha ukukhathazeka kwabo
- Awunikeli usizo lapho bethatha izinqumo
- Ubagxeka kaningi kakhulu, kungenasidingo
- Awubakhuthazi ukuba bafeze amaphupho nezifiso zabo
Thatha Imibuzo: Ngabe Nishadile Noma Nihlala Nodwa?
Lapho kungekho ukuxhumana emshadweni phakathi kwabalingani, ngaphandle kwezinto eziphathelene nemikhuba yenu, qondani kukhona ukwesekwa okunganele ebudlelwaneni benu.
Khumbula ukuthi kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi niphakamisane futhi nixoxe, ngakho-ke bobabili baxhumene kakhulu. Uma ugxila ekuxhumaneni okuhle lapho ukwesekana komunye nomunye kuza kakhulu ngokwemvelo.
Ngakho-ke uma ukwenza lokhu kokubili kube seqhulwini ugcina ngokuba nomshado ojabulisa kakhulu manje nasesikhathini eside.
2. Ungazizwa sengathi uhlala nomuntu ongamazi
Uma uke waba nezinsuku noma amasonto ambalwa lapho ungakhulumi ngempela, kungazizwa sengathi uhlala nomuntu ongamazi. Yize ungahle ungahlose ukuthi kwenzeke, ukungabikho kokuxhumana emshadweni kungakwenza uzizwe sengathi nilahlekile.
Uma ungagcini ukuxhumana kuqhubeka uzizwa sengathi nilahlekelana.
Uma lokhu kuqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukusondelana ekugcineni kubhekana nobunzima, ukuxhumana kuyantengantenga, futhi ukuthola kunzima ukuthola esivumelana ngakho. Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana emshadweni kuholela esehlukanisweni kwesinye isikhathi lapho kungekho lutho olusele abangabelana ngalo noma ukukhuluma ngalo phakathi kwabalingani ababili.
Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana komshado kuholela ekuhlukaniseni, qaphela lezi zimpawu ezikhomba ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho seningabazi.
- Umlingani wakho akakwazi ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa, abakwazi ukucacisa imizwa yakho
- Impilo yakho yocansi iyancipha. Ngaphezulu kwalezo ezinye izinhlobo zokuxhumana ngokomzimba njengokugona, ukuqabula kuyasilela.
- Awuzange ugqoke futhi uhambe izinsuku isikhathi eside
- Ukuxhumana kwakho kukhawulelwe ekuxoxeni ngemisebenzi nangezezimali.
Ungathola ukuthi nixabana kakhulu futhi nichitha isikhathi esincane nesincane nomunye. Yize ukuntuleka kokuxhumana noma ukuxhumana kungekho kwezinye izinsuku kungahle kungabi yinkinga, uma lokhu kuqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uzobe unesimo esingathandeki futhi ukulangazelele ngempela lokho kuxhumana.
Yazi lokhu futhi ungavumeli izingxoxo zibanjwe isikhathi eside kakhulu uma ufuna ukuhlala uxhumekile futhi usothandweni.
3. Lokhu kungakuphuca ukuxhumana kwakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
Lapho kungekho ukuxhumana emshadweni okuvusa ikhanda elibi phakathi kwabantu abashadile, abantu abasebudlelwaneni bangazibuza ukuthi kuyinto ejwayelekile yini noma ukungabi nokukhulumisana emshadweni kuyinkinga.
Cabanga ngalesi simo esidlala usuku nosuku isikhathi eside. Uma ungakhulumi kungenzeka ukuthi uphendukela komunye umuntu.
Ngenxa yokushoda kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni, ungalahlekelwa ukuxhumana, uthando, uthando, noma inhlansi owake wabelana ngayo.
Ukukhulumisana okungafanele emshadweni kungakwenza ulingeke ukukopela. Kungakwenza uzizwe sengathi ukushada akusiyona into obekuyiyo.
Wonke umuntu ubhekana nezikhathi ezinzima, kepha uma ukwazi lokhu futhi wenza ukuxhumana okuhle kube yinto ephambili emshadweni wakho khona-ke uzohlala uxhumekile futhi uqinisekise ukuthi awuhambi endleleni engafanele ngokulahlekelana.
Imiphumela yokuntuleka kokukhulumisana emshadweni ingalimaza ubuhlobo bakho. Kubalulekile ukukhomba nokulungisa zonke izinkinga zakho zokuxhumana emshadweni ngaphambi kokuba izinto zihlukane phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.
Ungakulungisa kanjani ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni
Akukho ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni okungapela isibopho sokufa sokwaneliseka nenjabulo emshadweni.
Ufuna izimpendulo ezicacile kule mibuzo, "ungakulungisa kanjani ukungabi bikho kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni", noma "ungakuthuthukisa kanjani ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho"?
Funda ngalezi zeluleko eziwusizo zokulwa nokuntuleka kokuxhumana futhi ulungise zonke izindaba zokuxhumana emshadweni.
- Khipha imizuzu engu-15 nsuku zonke ukukhuluma ngosuku lwakho nomlingani wakho. Umshado nokuxhumana kuhlangene ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano.
- Ukuxhumana phakathi kwezithandani kukhulisa isibopho sothando, kuyilapho ukuxhumana okungalungile emshadweni kubangela intukuthelo kanye nebanga phakathi kwabantu abashadile.
- Esinye sezeluleko ezinhle kakhulu zokuxhumana zemibhangqwana ukuthi naka kakhulu ukukhuluma komzimba womlingani wakho. Kuzokusiza uqonde imizwa yomlingani wakho futhi kuthuthukise ukuxhumana emshadweni.
- Umshado ngaphandle kokuxhumana wenziwa buthaka futhi usengozini yezinkinga eziningi zobudlelwano. Lalela umlingani wakho ngokucophelela lapho bekhuluma.
- Lokhu kuzobakhuthaza ukuba babe nezingxoxo ezinjalo nawe futhi kuvimbele ukuwohloka okuphelele kwezokuxhumana emshadweni.
- Finyelela kuchwepheshe oqinisekisiwe, ongakusiza uqonde ukuthi yini edala ukungakhulumisani emshadweni.
Uma izingqinamba zokuxhumana emshadweni zijula, ukungenelela okungachemile nokwehlosiwe okuvela kumeluleki wemishado, kanye namathuluzi afanelekile wokuxhumana emshadweni, kungawusindisa umshado wakho.
Ukulandela lezi zeluleko kufanele kukusize unqobe izinkinga zokuxhumana emshadweni.
Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kungenye yezinkinga izithandani ezihlangabezana nazo. Ukulalela lezi zeluleko kuzokusiza nokuthi uyeke zonke izinhlobo zokuxhumana okungalungile emshadweni futhi wamukele ukuxhumana okunempilo, kulandelwe izingxoxo ezizwakalayo nokuxhumana okujulile phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.