-Delile
- Kusho ukuthini ukuba yiqiniso ebuhlotsheni?
- Izindlela eziyi-10 zokuba ngumuntu oyiqiniso
- 1. Ukuxhumana ngamabomu nangokucabangela
- 2. Khetha ukuthanda umlingani wakho usuku nosuku
- 3. Yakha imingcele ebudlelwaneni bakho
- 4. Veza obala
- 5. Fundani futhi niprakthize izilimi zothando zomunye nomunye
- 6. Ungavumeli ubuhlobo bakho bube ngumthombo wenjabulo yakho kuphela
- 7. Bhekana nezinselelo esikhundleni sokuzigwema
- 8. Yazisa sonke isikhathi nomlingani wakho
- 9. Thatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zakho
- 10. Yazisa ubuhlobo bakho
- Isiphetho
Ungathini uma uthola ukuthi umlingani wakho ubelokhu ezenza lokho abengeyena? Kwabanye abantu, kungaphula izinhliziyo zabo ukufunda ukuthi bebekwi-equation engahambisani namaphupho abo okukhulisa ubudlelwano beqiniso.
Esinye sezizathu zokuthi kungani abantu bebeka uhlobo lwabo olukhethiwe ngaphambi kokungena ebudlelwaneni kungenxa yokuthi besaba ukuthi abalingani babo ngeke babamukele. Umqondo wokuthembeka kuwe ebudlelwaneni ungazwakala wesabisa, kepha wakha ukusondelana nothando lwangempela.
Ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso buhlelelwe ukuma isikhathi ngoba bobabili abalingani bakulungele ukwabelana ngezinhlangothi zabo ezinhle, ezimbi nezimbi ngokwabo ngaphandle kokwesaba noma ukwenzelela.
Kusho ukuthini ukuba yiqiniso ebuhlotsheni?
Ubuqiniso ebudlelwaneni benzeka lapho bobabili ababandakanyekayo bethembekile futhi beqotho komunye nomunye. Bobabili abalingani bayaqonda ukuthi akekho umuntu ophelele, kepha bazimisele ukwamukela amaphutha omunye nomunye futhi bafinyelele ekuvumelaneni okunenzuzo futhi okuhle.
Okubaluleke kakhulu, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ubuqiniso ebudlelwaneni kuyindlela eyodwa yokwakha isibopho sangempela phakathi kwabalingani ababili. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso abunalo uvalo nokungavikeleki ngoba bobabili abashadile bathandana ngenhliziyo yonke, noma ngabe baxhumana nobuthakathaka babo.
Izindlela eziyi-10 zokuba ngumuntu oyiqiniso
Ukubonisa ubuqiniso kuyisici esibalulekile sobuhlobo. Uma uthembekile kuwe ebudlelwaneni futhi umlingani wakho naye elandela, kuba ubuhlobo obunempilo, obuqinile nobuthembekile.
Ukuthuthukisa le mfanelo nokugcina ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso, nazi ezinye izindlela zokuqalisa:
1. Ukuxhumana ngamabomu nangokucabangela
Ukuba nenhloso nokucabangela lapho ukhulumisana kwenza umlingani wakho abone ukuthi uyayikhathalela imizwa yabo. Lapho umlingani wakho esho izidingo zabo kuwe, kubalulekile ukuthi ungakwenzi ngawe uqobo esikhundleni. Umqeqeshi Wezobudlelwano URichard E. Hellen ubona ukuhlobana okuqondile phakathi kokuba nenhloso kuzo zonke izici zobudlelwano bakho nokuba nomshado ochumayo.
Uma kukhulunywa ngesenzo sangempela, sokuhlosa, nesokucabangela, ukuxhumana kungenye yezingqinamba eziyinhloko zokulinganisa. Kubalulekile ukusho ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuxhumana luyizindlela ezimbili, ngoba lubandakanya ukukhuluma, ukulalela, nokuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi ukuqonda imibono yomunye umuntu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Thuthukisa Ukuxhumana Emshadweni
2. Khetha ukuthanda umlingani wakho usuku nosuku
Ukuthanda umlingani wakho kubalulekile ukuze ube ngumuntu oyiqiniso. Kuyasiza ukusho ukuthi abalingani abathatha isinqumo sokuthanda ngenkuthalo nangokuqonda banamathuba amaningi okuba nobudlelwano obuphumelelayo kunalabo abangathandi.
Kungasiza uma uzimisele ngamabomu ngendlela oziphatha ngayo futhi ukhulume nomlingani wakho. Uma utshela umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamthanda futhi uyamkhathalela, kufanele futhi kubonise kulokho okwenzayo nangakubo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi.
Ukukhetha ukuthanda umlingani wakho nsuku zonke kukusiza ukuthi ubaphathe njengokubaluleke kakhulu. Oshade naye uzozizwa evikelekile ngoba ubathanda ngamabomu, futhi bayakubona ezenzweni zakho. Izenzo zansuku zonke zisiza ukudala ukuxhumana okuyiqiniso njengoba imibhangqwana ifunda ukuthembana.
3. Yakha imingcele ebudlelwaneni bakho
Imibhangqwana idinga ukudala imingcele futhi ivumelane ngokungayiweleli ukuze ibe neqiniso kubo. Kunezinto ongazithandi ezingaba buhlungu kuwe uma umlingani wakho ezenza. Phezu kokuba usebudlelwaneni, unobuntu bakho, futhi akufanele ukuyekethise lokho.
Kubalulekile ukusetha imingcele ngoba umonakalo omkhulu ungenziwa ebudlelwaneni lapho leyo migqa yeqiwa. Ukuhlonipha imingcele kuhilela ukuhloniphana nokwethembana nokuthatha isinqumo sokungabonakalisi ubudlelwano ngokwenza okuthile ngabomo okulimaza umlingani wakho.
Bheka le vidiyo ukuze ufunde kabanzi ngokubeka imingcele ebuhlotsheni:
4. Veza obala
Abantu abaningi bakuthola kunzima ukungafihli lutho ebudlelwaneni ngoba abakwazi ukuthwala umcabango wokuthi abalingani babo bazi izimfihlo ezithile ngabo. Ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso bakhelwe ekubonakaleni ngoba zombili izinhlangothi zizozibophezela ekwabelaneni ngemizwa yazo, imibono yazo, nokwenza kwazo ngaphandle kokufihla lutho.
Ukungafihli lutho kumuntu oshade naye kuhilela ukwabelana ngezinto ovame ukuba namahloni ngazo lapho wabelana ngazo nomunye umuntu. Iqiniso liwukuthi uzobe wembula ubuthakathaka bakho, kepha usungula ubuqiniso ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
5. Fundani futhi niprakthize izilimi zothando zomunye nomunye
Ngokwencwadi kaGary Chapman kaRelationship Expert enesihloko esithi The Five Love Languages, kunezindlela ezinhlanu ezijwayelekile lapho abashadikazi abathandanayo bezwakalisa uthando omunye komunye. Lezi zilimi ezinhlanu yilezi:
- Ukuthinta ngokomzimba
- Izenzo zenkonzo
- Isikhathi sekhwalithi
- Amagama okuvuma
- Ukunikeza izipho
Ukuze ube yiqiniso ebudlelwaneni, kuzofanele ufunde izilimi zothando lomlingani wakho ngokweqiniso. Ukuba nalolu lwazi kukusiza ukuba ubathande ngendlela abafisa ukuthandwa ngayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukunquma ukungazazi izilimi zothando lomlingani wakho kungakhombisa ukuthi awuhlosile ngokuba ebudlelwaneni bangempela.
Futhi Zama: Yiluphi Ulimi Lwami Lothando?
6. Ungavumeli ubuhlobo bakho bube ngumthombo wenjabulo yakho kuphela
Akekho umuntu okufanele acindezelwe ekuvumeleni ubudlelwano bakhe kube ukuphela komthombo wenjabulo yabo. Ngaphambi kobudlelwano, uthole injabulo yakho ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene. Futhi noma ngabe kufanele wenze ukulungisa okuthile ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuthi ungalahli ubunikazi bakho.
Ukuthuthukisa ubuqiniso, kufanele ulinganise ubudlelwano bakho nezinye izici zempilo yakho. Iqiniso liwukuthi, ubudlelwano bakho kufanele bube ngomunye wemithombo eminingi yenjabulo yakho futhi hhayi ukuphela komthombo. Ngokuziyeka kaninginingi, intukuthelo nokwedelela kungaqala ukungena kumandla nomlingani wakho.
Ebudlelwaneni bangempela, bobabili abalingani bagcina umuzwa wabo wokuthi bangobani yize bethandana, futhi abasebenzisi ukukhohlisa ukugcina omunye nomunye ejabule. Lapho usebenzela ukufeza izinhloso zakho nokuhlakulela intshisekelo yakho, uzothola injabulo kulokho okwenzayo, futhi kuzobusiza nobudlelwano futhi.
7. Bhekana nezinselelo esikhundleni sokuzigwema
Izinselelo azinakugwenywa, futhi indlela engcono yokunqoba ukubhekana nazo esikhundleni sokuzigwema. Kubudlelwano obuyiqiniso, izinselelo ziyenzeka, futhi bobabili abalingani bangadlula kulezi zinkinga ngoba bayazwana ngaphakathi ngaphandle.
Bafinyelela ezingeni lokuzazi nokusondelana kwangempela okubavumela ukuxazulula noma iyiphi inkinga ababhekene nayo kalula. Futhi bayabona ukuthi ubudlelwano babo sebuphenduke ithuluzi elibalulekile ekusizeni ukukhula kwabo.
8. Yazisa sonke isikhathi nomlingani wakho
Ukuze usungule ukuxhumana kwangempela, kufanele uqaphele futhi usebenzise amasu. Kubalulekile ukuchitha isikhathi esanele wabelana nomlingani wakho ngezinhloso zakho, izifiso zakho, imizwa yakho nemicabango yakho. Isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye singasiza umlingani wakho ukuthi abone okungokoqobo futhi aqonde kangcono ukuthi ungubani.
Zazise izikhathi ezinjalo ngoba zizobe zichaza izikhathi zobudlelwano. Kubudlelwano obuyiqiniso, bobabili abalingani bachitha isikhathi esanele ukuba nezingxoxo ezinzulu ezibasiza baqonde kakhulu umlingani wabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, bakha isikhathi sokuzijabulisa nokuphumula ngoba kubenza babambane kangcono.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imisebenzi Yesibili Yokubopha Izithandani Ukuqinisa Ubudlelwano
9. Thatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zakho
Ubudlelwano obuqinisile abunakuhlala uma uqhubeka nokusola oshade naye ngezenzo zakho ezingalungile. Ngeshwa, abanye abantu bayakubalekela ukwamukela izinqumo zabo ngoba abafuni ukuhlala namaphutha abo. Ngakho-ke, bakhetha ukubeka icala komunye umuntu, becabanga ukuthi kuzozuzisa bona.
Uma uqhubeka nokugwema umthwalo wemfanelo esikhundleni sokuzibophezela, awuthuthukisi ubuqiniso, futhi ubudlelwano bungaqhubeka nokuhlupheka. Kubalulekile ukuthi ushintshe indlela ocabanga ngayo futhi uvukele lowo mcimbi ngokuthola izixazululo futhi ngokuya ngomlingani wakho ukuze akusekele.
10. Yazisa ubuhlobo bakho
Kuyadingeka ukuthi kushiwo ukuthi ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso bungumkhiqizo wabantu abashadile ababazisa ubuhlobo babo futhi benza konke okusemandleni ukubugcina busebenza. Ukwaneliseka kuzala ukunganaki nokungavikeleki kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, ngakho-ke kufanele kwenziwe imizamo nsuku zonke ukukugwema lokho.
Izifundo ezenziwa emibhangqwaneni ebudlelwaneni obuseduze besikhathi eside zikhombise ngokusobala ukuhlobana okuqondile phakathi kobuqiniso ebudlelwaneni nasekunamathisweni kothando, kanye nokunakekela kumlingani wakho.
Kufanele ube sebudlelwaneni ngezizathu ezifanele ngoba inquma inani lenani olibeka kuwe nakumlingani wakho.Ubudlelwano obuyiqiniso buhlinzeka ithuba lokuthi wena noshade naye nazane omunye nomunye naphezu kwezinkinga.
Isiphetho
Ungalahlekelwa ubuthongo ngoba ubuhlobo bakho abukho endaweni eyiqiniso njengamanje. Ukuqonda ukuthi ungasebenzela kanjani ekwakheni ubudlelwano bangempela nobangempela kungabonakala kunzima. Kepha uma wena nomlingani wakho nizimisele ukufaka umzamo futhi nilandele izinyathelo ezishiwo lapha, nawe ungafika lapho.
Vele uqale ukusebenzela ubudlelwano bakho ndawonye futhi ubudlelwano bakho buzoba ngcono.