-Delile
- 1. Isikhathi nethoni konke
- 2. Ungamangazi oshade naye
- 3. Amagama amathathu okufanele uwakhumbule: Zola. Unomusa. Kucacile
- 4. Lungela impendulo engalimaza
- 5. Ungasebenzisi isehlukaniso njengosongo
- 6. Qiniseka ukuthi unohlelo olukhona
- 7. Awudingi ukupela imininingwane ngokushesha
Ingabe wena noshade naye benizama ukuxazulula izinkinga zomshado, kodwa kwaba nhlanga zimuka nomoya?
Ngabe uzizwa sengathi uhamba imibuthano nje, ukhuluma ngezingxabano, uzama ukusikisela izixazululo ezingaba khona, futhi ungalinge uye phambili?
Iqiniso elibabayo yilokho kwesinye isikhathi isehlukaniso esibuhlungu ukuphela kwendlela okufanele yenziwe.
Ngabe manje usukulungele ukuqeda izingxoxo ezingenazithelo, futhi umemezele kumlingani wakho ukuthi ufuna isehlukaniso?
Nawa amanye amathiphu wokukusiza yenza lezi zindaba ezibuhlungu zibe lula koshade wakho ukuba azizwe futhi emva kwalokho adambise inqubo yesehlukaniso. Funda ukuze wazi ukuthi ungathola kanjani isehlukaniso, uqale ngesinyathelo sokuqala sesehlukaniso.
1. Isikhathi nethoni konke
Sonke sikubonile kwenziwa kumabhayisikobho: umbhangqwana uyalwa, kuphakanyiswa amazwi mhlawumbe nezitsha ziphonswa. Ngokucasuka, omunye wabo umemeza ethi “Yilokho nje! Ngifuna isehlukaniso! ”
Noma lokhu kwenza indawo yamabhayisikobho evusa amadlingozi, uzokwelulekwa kabi ukuthi ulingise lokho okubonayo esikrinini.
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuthola isehlukaniso ukutshela oshade naye ngenhloso yakho. Kodwa-ke, ukumemezela isifiso sakho sokuqeda umshado akuyona into okufanele uyenze ngentukuthelo.
Qonda ukuthi inqubo yesehlukaniso inezinkinga ezinkulu futhi igama elithi, "isehlukaniso" akufanele lijikijelwe ngobudedengu kangaka. Ngaphandle kwalokho, isehlukaniso sibuhlungu kakhulu. Ukuthi ungenza kanjani kalula isehlukaniso kumlingani wakho, khumbula, wake wamthanda ngokujulile umlingani wakho, futhi unecala kubo lokuqeda izinto ngendlela yabantu abadala.
Lokhu kusho ngamagama apholile achaza umbono wakho, esimeni esingathathi hlangothi (azikho izingane, ngicela) nangemva kwezingxoxo eziningi mayelana nezinkinga ezingasenakuphikiswa.
2. Ungamangazi oshade naye
Wonke umuntu uyazi okungenani izithandani lapho omunye wabashadikazi wayengazi ukuthi omunye wayengajabule, ashiye yedwa inhloso yokuqalisa inqubo yesehlukaniso.
Lokho kukhombisa inkinga yangempela yokuxhumana kulezo zithandani. Awufuni ukuba njalo.
Isimemezelo sakho sokuthi usuqedile ngomshado futhi ufuna ukuqala inqubo yesehlukaniso akumele simbone emehlweni umlingani wakho.
Isinqumo sokuqeda izinto bese siqala inqubo yesehlukaniso kufanele kube ngesamazwe amabili, hhayi umuntu oyedwa kuphela onquma into ebaluleke kakhulu futhi ethinta izimpilo zabantu bobabili. Noma uqinisekile ukuthi yilokhu okufunayo, futhi akukho lutho umlingani wakho angakwenza noma akusho okungashintsha umqondo wakho, ungawavezi amagama athi “Ngifuna isehlukaniso, ake sibheke izici ezidingekayo zenqubo yesehlukaniso” kuzo ngaphandle kohlobo oluthile lokuhola ngomusa.
"Singakhuluma ngezinye zezinto ezingenza ngibuze umshado wethu?" kungaba ukuvula okukhulu kulezi zingxoxo ezibalulekile.
Buka futhi: Izizathu Eziningi Ezivamile Zesehlukaniso
3. Amagama amathathu okufanele uwakhumbule: Zola. Unomusa. Kucacile
Thembela emathunjini akho ukuthi akwazise uma usukulungele ukutshela oshade naye ukuthi ufuna isehlukaniso: Ukuvimba lokhu kuba kungabekezeleleki futhi udinga ukukusho ukuze ushintshele enqubeni yesehlukaniso uqobo, nasesahlukweni esilandelayo sempilo yakho.
Yize nje ubheka iseluleko sokuthi ungenza kanjani ukuthi isehlukaniso singabi buhlungu kangako, khumbula ukuthi ayikho into efana nesehlukaniso esingenabuhlungu.
Ungahle uthande ukuzilungiselela kusengaphambili lokho ofuna ukukusho ukuze kuthi lapho kufika isikhathi, ukwethula kwakho kube nokuzola, okunomusa futhi kucace futhi kungabangeli ubuhlungu obuncane besahlukaniso.
Okuthile okufana nokuthi “Uyazi ukuthi besingajabule isikhathi eside. Futhi ngiyawazisa wonke umsebenzi owenzile wokuzama ukulungisa izinto. Kepha umqondo wami ukuthi umshado usuphelile, futhi sobabili kudingeka sikuqonde lokho ukuze sikwazi ukuqhubeka. ”
Ungashiyi noma yini ivulekele ukutolikwa- uma uqinisekile, uqinisekile. Kungabonakala kulula ukwenza umlingani wakho acabange ukuthi kukhona ithuba lokuthi umshado usindiswe, kepha uma kungenjalo, kunobuntu ukwedlulisa umyalezo ocacile: lo mshado usuphelile.
4. Lungela impendulo engalimaza
Uma isinqumo sesehlukaniso kungokwakho wedwa, oshade naye ngeke abingelele lezi zindaba ngenjabulo. Kungenzeka athukuthele, noma ahoxe, noma aphume aphume endlini. Kuzoba nzima kuwe kepha uhlale uzolile.
Vuma ukusabela kwakhe kulezi zindaba eziguqula impilo. “Ngiyakuqonda ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngale ndlela”, kwanele ukudlulisa ukuthi umlalele.
Uma oshade naye eqala ukuhamba, ungahlinzeka "Ngiyazi ukuthi lezi yizindaba okunzima ukuzizwa, futhi ngilapha ngilinde wena ukuthi ubuye sizokhuluma uma usuthole ithuba lokukucubungula lokhu."
Inqubo yesehlukaniso ayigcini nje ngobunzima bezomthetho obucindezelayo, imithetho, amaphepha kanye nokulinda isinqumo sesehlukaniso, kodwa futhi nokubhekana nobuhlungu kanye nezinxushunxushu ezingokomzwelo ezibandakanya inhloso yokwehlukana nokudlula ngesehlukaniso.
5. Ungasebenzisi isehlukaniso njengosongo
Uma uhlala ukhulisa isehlukaniso njengosongo phakathi kwezimpikiswano ezedlule nomyeni wakho kodwa ubengaqondile, ungamangali uma umyeni wakho engakukholwa ngalesi sikhathi uma umtshela ukuthi izinto sezihambile.
Yekela umdlalo, futhi ungalokothi ukhiphe ikhadi lesehlukaniso ngaphandle uma usukulungele ngempela ukushiya umshado.
Ukusebenzisa isehlukaniso njengenduku yokwenza umyeni wakho enze ngendlela ethile kukhombisa ukuthi amakhono akho okusebenzisana abuthakathaka. Uma lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile, zanini kumeluleki wezemishado futhi nifunde izindlela ezisebenzayo nezabadala zokuxazulula izingxabano.
Isehlukaniso sibucayi kakhulu indaba okufanele isetshenziswe njengezingxoxo zokuxoxisana empini, ngakho ungakwenzi.
6. Qiniseka ukuthi unohlelo olukhona
Abantu abaningi bagxila kuphela ekutsheleni abalingani babo ukuthi bafuna isehlukaniso, futhi bayakudebeselela ukudlula kuleyo ngxenye yendlela yokwehlukana noma izinkinga ezicindezelayo zenqubo yesehlukaniso.
Yiba nohlelo lokumenyezelwa ngemuva ukuze ungahlali nobabili nje nizibuze ukuthi nizokwenzenjani ngokulandelayo.
Mhlawumbe udinga ukufaka umugqa endaweni ozoya kuyo ngemuva kokutshela oshade naye ukuthi umshado usuphelile.
Yiba nepotimende eligcwele. Hlela uhlelo lwezingane; uma inqubo yesehlukaniso isiqalile, ngabe bazohlala ekhaya noma bashiye umlingani ohamba ekhaya?
Ngabe unayo imali eyanele futhi uqinisekisile ukuthi uyakwazi ukufinyelela kuma-akhawunti akho ngokuhlanganyela ngenkathi yenqubo yedivosi?
Zonke izihloko ezibalulekile ongacabanga ngazo ngaphambi kokuletha izindaba bese uqala inqubo yesehlukaniso.
7. Awudingi ukupela imininingwane ngokushesha
Lapho usutshele oshade naye ukuthi ufuna isehlukaniso, ake azicubungule lezi zindaba ngendlela abona kufaneleka ngayo, ngaphandle kokubacindezela ukuba bangene ngokushesha kwinqubo yesehlukaniso.
Awudingi ukucela isehlukaniso, isondlo, indlu, imoto, kanye ne-akhawunti yokulondoloza konke ngobusuku obubodwa.
Ukuzilungiselela inqubo ezayo yesehlukaniso, udinga ukuba nomqondo wokuthi yini ocabanga ukuthi ilungile futhi iyalingana, kepha shiya leyo ngxoxo yenqubo yesehlukaniso kwesinye isikhathi, okungcono nommeli omuhle wedivosi.
Ukuthi ungasinqoba kanjani isehlukaniso, kufanele uqale uzivumele wena nomlingani wakho ukuthi nicabange ngemizwa exubile ngemuva kokuqedwa kwesehlukaniso.
Imizwelo yowesilisa odivosile, noma owesifazane osebenzelana nemizwa exubekile ngesikhathi nangemva kwenqubo ingahle isukela ekulileni, ekudabukeni, ekubeni nesizungu, ukwesaba ukwakha kabusha impilo entsha, intukuthelo, ukuba sengozini, ukucindezeleka, noma nokukhululeka.
Kwabanye abantu, inqubo yokuthola isehlukaniso ibenza bathole uthando kubo ngabazoshada nabo maduze.
Ukuzula ngesahlukaniso kudla isikhathi futhi kungcono ukuthatha usizo lukachwepheshe wezomthetho wokuqeda umshado. Kungasiza futhi ukuthinta umeluleki noma umeluleki ongakutshela ukuthi ungadlula kanjani esehlukanisweni ngokwasemoyeni, ulungise usizi.
Isazi esithembekile singasiza futhi ekubhekaneni nendlela yokubhekana nesehlukaniso lapho ungasifuni.