-Delile
- Bafundisa abashadile ukuthi babe ngcono kanjani
- Kuyasiza ukuthola imininingwane emisha
- Bafundisa imibhangqwana indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano ezivamile
- Izincwadi zokwelulekwa ngomshado - Izincomo
Izincwadi zokweluleka ngomshado zabashadikazi zizuzisa ngokweqile futhi zigcwele imininingwane ebalulekile. Ungalenzi iphutha bese ucabanga ukuthi benzelwe leyo mibhangqwana kuphela ebhekene nezinkinga ezithile.
Izincwadi zokweluleka ngomshado zenzelwe yonke imibhangqwana eshadile futhi kufanele ibe khona emashalofini abo ezincwadi. Ulwazi lungamandla futhi lungazuzisa umshado ngezindlela ezingaphezu kweyodwa.
Ezweni lanamuhla sinokufinyelela okulula ezincwadini ezisiza kakhulu zomshado ngakho-ke kungani ungasebenzisi lokho abanakho?
Nazi izizathu ezintathu ezibalulekile zokufunda izincwadi zokweluleka imibhangqwana.
Bafundisa abashadile ukuthi babe ngcono kanjani
Ingabe umshado ungumsebenzi? Cha, kepha kudinga ikhono elithile. Izincwadi zokwelapha zombhangqwana zingasiza abalingani ukucija amakhono abo ngokubafundisa ukuthi bangaba kanjani ngabashade kangcono. Kuhlala kunendawo yokwenza ngcono.
Labo abashadile bangavulelana ngokwengeziwe nabalingani babo, babe nothando ngokwengeziwe, babonge ngokwengeziwe, basekele futhi baqondane. Lapho zombili izinhlangothi zithatha isinyathelo sokuba ngcono, imiphumela iyamangalisa.
Ingxenye enhle kakhulu ukuthi umuntu omthandayo uthathe isinyathelo esingeziwe sokuqinisa ubudlelwano.
Kuyasiza ukuthola imininingwane emisha
Ukufunda ngempela kubalulekile futhi kungcwaba ikhala lakho kwenye yezincwadi ezinconywe kakhulu zokwelulekwa ngomshado kunganikeza ukuqonda okwengeziwe mayelana nokuthi ukushada kumayelana nani.
Noma ngabe useneminyaka emibili noma engama-20 ushadile, maningi amathuba okuthi uthole ukuthi kuningi kakhulu empilweni yomshado kunalokho obekulindelwe ekuqaleni. Idlulela ngale kokusekelwa nokuqonda.
I- izincwadi zeseluleko somshado kwesokudla akugcini ngokunikeza ukuqonda okwengeziwe ngomshado kepha kukhuthaza abashadile ukuthi bazibheke ngokujulile. Ukufunda kabanzi ngawe kuthuthukisa ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Bafundisa imibhangqwana indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano ezivamile
Izingxabano ezivamile zivame ukuba yizinkinga ezinkulu kakhulu. Yize zilula, imibhangqwana eminingi inenkinga yokuxazulula lezi zingxabano futhi kungekudala iba yinto eqhubekayo ebudlelwaneni.
Izindawo ezinhlanu eziphezulu zokungqubuzana kwabashadikazi zifaka imisebenzi yasekhaya, izingane, umsebenzi, imali, kanye nezocansi. Izincwadi zokweluleka ngemishado zikhuluma ngokuningiliziwe futhi zifundisa imibhangqwana ukuthi zingazibhekana kanjani nazo. Ukungqubuzana akunakugwenywa.
Ozakwethu bazoshayana ngamakhanda kepha kunendlela enempilo yokubamba izingxabano. Phikisana ngenhloso yokusondelana futhi uthole ukuqonda kunokulimaza noma ukufakazela ukuthi akulungile.
Izincwadi zokwelulekwa ngomshado - Izincomo
Izilimi Ezinhlanu Zothando: Ungakuveza Kanjani Ukuzibophezela Okusuka Enhliziyweni Kumlingani Wakho
'Izilimi Ezinhlanu Zothando' kungenye yezincwadi ezinhle kakhulu zokwelulekwa ngomshado, ebhalwe nguGary Chapman echaza izindlela ezinhlanu zokuveza nokuzwa uthando phakathi kwezithandani ezithintekayo kwezothando.
Izindlela ezinhlanu ezifingqiwe nguChapman kule ncwadi yokwelapha incwadi yokwelashwa komshado yilezi:
- Ukwamukela izipho
- Isikhathi sekhwalithi
- Amagama okuvuma
- Izenzo zenkonzo noma zokuzinikela
- Ukuthinta ngokomzimba
Le ncwadi yokweluleka ngobuhlobo iphakamisa ukuthi umuntu kumele abone indlela yakhe yokuveza uthando kwabanye ngaphambi kokuthola iresiphi yomunye umuntu yothando.
Le ncwadi ithi uma imibhangqwana ingafunda ngendlela umlingani wayo azwakalisa ngayo uthando angakhulisa indlela abaxhumana ngayo futhi aqinise nobudlelwano babo.
Kusukela ngo-2009 le ncwadi ibisohlwini lweNew York Times Best Seller futhi yagcina ukubuyekezwa ngoJanuwari 1, 2015.
- Izimiso Eziyisikhombisa Zokwenza Umshado Usebenze
‘Izimiso eziyisikhombisa zokwenza umshado usebenze’ yincwadi yokweluleka imishado ebhalwe nguJohn Gottman enikeza imigomo eyisikhombisa yokusiza abashadikazi ukuba bazuze ubudlelwano obunobunye futhi obuhlala isikhathi eside.
Kule ncwadi, uGottman uphakamisa ukuthi ungaqinisa umshado wakho ngokusebenzisa lezi zimiso ezilandelayo:
- Ukuthuthukisa amabalazwe othando - Thuthukisa ekutheni umqonda kahle kanjani umlingani wakho.
- Ukukhulisa uthando nokwazisa - Sebenzisa imephu yothando ethuthukisiwe ukuhlakulela ukwazisa nokuthanda umlingani wakho.
- Sijikele komunye nomunye - Thembela kumlingani wakho futhi nibe khona ngezikhathi zosizo.
- Ukwamukela ithonya - Vumela izinqumo zakho zithonywe yimibono yozakwenu.
- Ukuxazulula izinkinga ezingaxazululeka - Lesi simiso sisuselwa kumodeli yamaGottmans yokuxazulula izingxabano.
- Ukunqoba i-gridlock - Zimisele ukuhlola nokunqoba izingqinamba ezifihliwe ebudlelwaneni bakho
- Idala imemori eyabiwe - Dala umqondo wencazelo eyabiwe futhi uqonde ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba semshadweni.
Le ncwadi yatuswa ngokuvumelana kwayo nezimiso zabesifazane. Ucwaningo lukhombise nokuthi imibhangqwana ibike ukuba ngcono emshadweni wayo ngemuva kokufunda le ncwadi.
- Amadoda Avela eMars, Abesifazane Bavela eVenus
'Amadoda Avela eMars, Abesifazane Bavela kuVenus' kungenye yezincwadi zakudala zokwelulekwa ngomshado. Le ncwadi yabhalwa nguJohn Gray, umbhali odumile waseMelika kanye nomeluleki wezobudlelwano.
Incwadi igcizelela umehluko oyisisekelo wezengqondo phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane nokuthi lokhu kuholela kanjani ezinkingeni zobudlelwano phakathi kwabo.
Ngisho nesihloko simele umehluko osobala kwezengqondo zabesilisa nabesifazane. Yamukelwa kahle ngabafundi futhi kwabikwa ukuthi ingumsebenzi obekwe emazingeni aphakeme kakhulu wokungeyona inganekwane yi-CNN.
Encwadini, uGrey uchaza kabanzi ukuthi abesilisa nabesifazane baligcina kanjani ibhalansi lokunikeza nokwamukela uthando nendlela ababhekana ngayo nengcindezi.