-Delile
- 1. Ukuziphatha okungalungile kwefoni
- 2. Izenzo zakhe zokuzilibazisa noma inkulumo iyashintsha
- 3. Uyazivikela noma abeke icala
- 4. Uyekile ukukutshela izinto
- 5. Ukubukeka kwakhe kuyashintsha
- 6. Impilo yakho yezocansi ishintshile
Umkakho usho umhlaba kuwe, ngakho-ke lapho eqala ukubonisa isimilo esingaphandle kwesimilo ungaqala ukukhathazeka kunokuthile angakutsheli kona. Kunzima ukucabanga ukuthi umuntu omthanda kakhulu angahle angathembeki, kepha iqiniso ukungathembeki komfazi kucishe kufane nokungathembeki kwendoda. Olunye ucwaningo luthole ukuthi iphesenti labesifazane abakopelayo likhuphuke laya ku-19%, ukwanda ngo-9% kusukela ngeminyaka yama-1990.
Ngokwanda kwemithombo yezokuxhumana kanye ne-Intanethi, kuzo zombili izindaba zenhliziyo nezomzimba, ukukopela manje sekulula kakhulu kunakuqala kwabesilisa nabesifazane. Uma usola ukudlala kabi emshadweni wakho, ungaba neqiniso.
Nazi izimpawu eziyisithupha zokutshela ukuthi kungenzeka umkakho ukopela
1. Ukuziphatha okungalungile kwefoni
Amapulatifomu ezokuxhumana nabantu nezithangami eziku-inthanethi zenze amalungiselelo wokukopela, ingxoxo yevidiyo enqunu, nokuzibandakanya ezindabeni ezithinta imizwa njengokulula ukuvula ifoni. Ngenkathi intshisekelo yowesifazane kudivayisi yakhe ehlakaniphile akusho ukuthi uyakopela. Kodwa-ke, ukushintsha kokuziphatha maqondana nomakhalekhukhwini wakhe, ithebhulethi noma amanye amadivayisi ahlakaniphile kungaba yinkomba enamandla yokungathembeki komfazi.
Ngesikhathi niqala ukuthandana noma nishadile, unkosikazi wakho wayevame ukuphendula imibhalo yakho ngemizuzwana. Wayekuthokozela ukungena ocingweni ngekhefu lakhe lesidlo sasemini ukuze nje athi sawubona, wayethanda ukuthumelela izithonjana nama-gifs kuwe futhi wayengalubuki nhlobo ucingo lwakhe lapho nindawonye ngomuntu. Nguwe kuphela owawugxile kuye.
Manje, umkakho ubonakala enentshisekelo efonini yakhe kunanini ngaphambili. Kungahle kube:
Ukuziba imibhalo yakho - Noma engabaphenduli ngenjabulo efanayo noma ngomdlandla njengakuqala. Lokhu kungaba ngezizathu eziningi. Mhlawumbe umatasa, akasenandaba nobudlelwano bakho, noma unaka omunye umuntu.
Ukugcina ifoni yakhe ithule - Uma engakaze akwenze lokhu, kuthathe njengophawu olubi. Lokhu kungakhombisa ukuthi kukhona umuntu omusha ofonayo futhi othumela imiyalezo futhi akafuni ukuthi ube nokusola ngakho.
Ukuthatha ifoni yakhe ayise egumbini elihlukile ukuze aphendule - Noma ngabe izingcingo noma imibhalo, oshade naye ngeke afune ukuthi ukwethule uma ethatha izingcingo noma imiyalezo evela kothile engafanele. Ngeke akuvumele usondele ocingweni lakhe.
Unefoni yakhe ngaso sonke isikhathi - Uma emanqikanqika ukukunikeza amaphasiwedi akhe, ahlole izingcingo zakhe, noma ahlwithe umbani wakhe ngokushesha uma ucima, kungenzeka kube nokuthile lapho angafuni ukuthi ukubone.
Ngokufanayo, uma ucingo lomkakho manje luhamba naye ngisho nohambo olungejwayelekile, njengokuthatha ingilazi yamanzi noma ukuya endlini yangasese, kungahle kube khona okuthile okungahambi kahle. Uma oshade naye enza imikhuba eyodwa noma eminingi futhi ingajwayelekile kuye, yithathe njengefulegi elibomvu elenziwe ngokuziphatha okubi.
2. Izenzo zakhe zokuzilibazisa noma inkulumo iyashintsha
Izikhathi eziningi, ukukhuluma kwethu nemikhuba yethu kuthonywa abantu esiphila nabo. Uma unkosikazi wakho ehlala esebenzisa amagama amasha noma isitsotsi futhi ungaqiniseki ukuthi kuvelaphi, kungenzeka ukuthi wakhe ubuhlobo obuseduze nenkulumo yakhe nokuziphatha kwakhe.
Ngokufanayo, uma ethatha izinto zokuzilibazisa ezintsha ezibonakala zingaphandle koluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, njengezemidlalo, ukugijima, noma ukuzivocavoca lokhu kungaba yisibonakaliso ukuthi usondelene nomuntu omusha.
3. Uyazivikela noma abeke icala
Kungukusabela okungokwemvelo komuntu ukuzivikela noma ukuzichaza ngokweqile uma wenza okuthile okungafanele ube yikho. Ngakho-ke, uma imibuzo efana nokuthi "Wenzeni namuhla?" noma, “ukuphi?” ziqoqa izimpendulo ezinobutha, zokumangalela, noma zokuzivikela, kungaba uphawu lokuthi umkakho wenza into ongeke uyamukele.
Ngokufanayo, abakopeli bavame ukusola abangane babo bomshado abangenacala ngokukhohlisa. Le yindlela ehlukahlukene yokuzivikela kumuntu ongathembekile. Okokuqala, angabona ukuthi kulula kangakanani ukukopela futhi azibuze ukuthi ngabe nawe wenza okufanayo yini. Okwesibili, kukubeka esimweni sokuzivikela esikhundleni sokuhlaselwa futhi kuveze noma yiliphi icala azizwa kwenye indawo. Okwesithathu, ngokwenza lokhu udale umuzwa ongewona wokuphepha maqondana nokuthi ukwazisa kangakanani ukuthembeka.
4. Uyekile ukukutshela izinto
Imibhangqwana enempilo yabelana ngezimpilo zayo, imicabango, kanye nemizwa yabo komunye nomunye. Umkakho kungenzeka ukuthi ungomunye wabangane bakho, uma kungeyena umngani wakho omkhulu. Uma eyekile ukuhlanganyela izinto nawe noma ebonakala ekude ngokweqile ngokomzwelo noma engenayo intshisekelo yokwandisa imicabango yakhe, kukhona okungahambi kahle neze.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ephinda izindaba noma kubonakala sengathi ukhohliwe lokho anakho noma angakatshelanga khona, kungaba uphawu lokuthi unenkinga yokugcina ithrekhi kubantu abathandana naye.
5. Ukubukeka kwakhe kuyashintsha
Kuyamangalisa lapho umlingani wakho eqala ukuzinakekela, ukuthanda umzimba wabo, nokuba uhlobo oluhle kakhulu lwabo abangakwazi. Kepha, uma unkosikazi wakho eqale ukusebenza ngokungabonakali ndawo futhi egxile kakhulu ekubukekeni kwakhe, kungaba uphawu lokuthi uzama ukujabulisa umuntu omusha.
6. Impilo yakho yezocansi ishintshile
Esinye sezibonakaliso zokungathembeki komfazi ushintsho olukhulu empilweni yakho yezocansi. Esinye sezimpawu ezisobala ukuthi ukopela ukuthi ngabe i-libido yakhe eseyiphilile yehlile futhi akasabonakali enentshisekelo yokuya ocansini noma ukwenza noma yiluphi uhlobo lokusondelana (njengokuqabulana noma ukubamba ngesandla) nawe.
Ukusondelana kuxhumanisa imibhangqwana ngobungozi obabiwe, ukuthandana, kanye nokukhishwa kwe-oxytocin. Uma unkosikazi wakho eqala ukuthandana nomunye umuntu, kungenzeka angafuni ukuhlanganyela nawe lezi zikhathi.
Kuyafana nokuthi amagama, amabinzana, nezinto zokuzilibazisa zithinta kanjani, kanjalo namaqhinga nezenzo zocansi. Uma impilo yakho yocansi isaphila futhi ihamba kahle kepha unkosikazi wakho ubonakala enesifiso esingalindelekile sokuzama noma enamasu amasha abonakala ejwayelene kakhulu nawo, kungaba luphawu lokuthi uzifunda lezi zinto kothile ongaphandle komshado.
Izwi lokugcina
Ngabe usola ukuthi unkosikazi wakho akathembeki? Uma eseshintshe kakhulu ukubukeka kwakhe, uvikela kalula, avale, noma i-libido yakhe yehlukile, kungenzeka ukuthi uyakopela. Uma usola ukuthi umlingani wakho ukopela, khuluma naye ngakho. Futhi khumbula, akufanele neze uhlale nomuntu ongamethembi.