-Delile
- Ukwelapha izimpawu akwanele
- Khomba uphinde ulungise izingqinamba zokulahla ngaphambi kokungena ebudlelwaneni obubucayi
- Thembeka
- Ukuphulukisa nokuqeda izimpawu
- Injabulo ukukhetha
- Ungamsiza kanjani umuntu onenkinga yokulahla
Ukulahlwa kushiya izibazi. Lezi zibazi azibonwa ngamehlo, ngakho-ke, ezimweni eziningi, zingahamba zingabonakali. Izibazi ezingokomzwelo zingahlala impilo yonke futhi zidlale ezindaweni eziningi zempilo yethu. Umuntu othile olwa nezinkinga zokulahlwa angathola imiphumela yobudlelwano bothando ikakhulu njengoba busondelene futhi budinga ukuba sengozini.
Kubudlelwano bothando, lokhu kungaveza njengoba uswele, uphanjaniswa yinkohliso, noma ukhohliswa. Ingakulethela njengomuntu ovumela abanye ukuthi bakuhlukumeze noma bakuphathe kabi. Izikhathi eziningi umuntu ohlangabezana nalezi zinkinga akazixhumanisi nokushiywa.
Ngokufana nokuthi izifo eziningi ziqala kanjani ngezimpawu ezinjengomkhuhlane nokho zingahlobana nanoma iyiphi inombolo yezifo; izingqinamba zokulahlwa zifana nezimpawu zomkhuhlane, zingahlotshaniswa nezinye izizathu eziningi futhi ngenxa yalokho zihlukaniswe nesizathu sangempela nesizwakalayo – Ukulahlwa.
Kulesi sihloko, sizoxoxa ngokuthi singazinqoba kanjani izindaba zokulahlwa nokuthi ungamsiza kanjani umuntu onalezi zinkinga ukuze abe nobudlelwano obuhle.
Ukwelapha izimpawu akwanele
Ngaphambi kokuthi ufike embuzweni wokuthi ungazisingatha kanjani izingqinamba zokulahlwa, kufanele wazi ukuthi ukuphatha izimpawu kukodwa akusona isisombululo sesikhathi eside. Kuze kube yilapho ufika kumsuka wanoma yisiphi isifo asisoze selapheke futhi uchitha iminyaka welapha izimpawu eziphindaphindayo. Uma ukulahlwa kobudlelwano kuyimpande, lapho-ke sidinga futhi ukuthi sikwamukele futhi sisebenzise ikhambi lokuqeda izimpawu eziqhubekayo.
Uma ushiywe ngumzali useyingane kungenzeka ukuthi wezwa usizi, ukwesaba, isizungu, ukwenqatshwa, ukuzizwa ungafaneleki, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi wabekezelela uhlobo oluthile lokuhlukunyezwa ezandleni zabanye.
Imiphumela yalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho ingadlulisela empilweni yakho yokuba mdala futhi ivele kubudlelwano futhi ekugcineni nomshado wakho.
Khomba uphinde ulungise izingqinamba zokulahla ngaphambi kokungena ebudlelwaneni obubucayi
Kufanele uphendule umbuzo, 'nginezinkinga zokulahla?' ngaphambi kokuthi uqhubeke. Uma ungavumi futhi ungawuvumeli umuzwa wakho ojulile, ungaphinda umjikelezo wokukhetha abalingani abangalungile ekugcineni okuholele ekuzingeni emshadweni ongajabule.
Ukunqoba izingqinamba zokulahlwa kubalulekile ukugwema imizwa yokulahla ehlala isikhathi eside futhi inomthelela emshadweni. Ukushintsha kwengqondo kungaholela ekushintsheni kokuziphatha okuletha umphumela wokukhetha ubuhlobo obunempilo nomshado.
Thembeka
Ake sibhekane nalezi zimpawu ezinjengomkhuhlane (ukusabela kwethu nokwesaba) lapho sihlangana noma sithandana nothile. Zibuze-
- Iyini imicabango yakho eyimfihlo?
- Ingabe imicabango iningi layo, ingabe ngilunge ngokwanele noma izongithanda ngami?
- Ngabe uyabamba iqhaza ekukhetheni uhlobo lomlingani omfunayo noma wamukela isimemo sokuthandana nabo ngoba bekuvezile?
- Ingabe uyazithoba noma ulawula iphutha ngokwesaba ukulahlekelwa yibo?
- Ekugcineni, ingabe ubamba isiziba esijulile sobuhlungu nokungajabuli okumboza ngokumomotheka ngenkathi uhlala ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo ngoba ungafuni ukuba wedwa?
Uma uphendule ngoyebo le mibuzo, kungenzeka ukuthi ube nezinkinga zokulahla ebudlelwaneni futhi noma wahlukunyezwa, futhi lesi yisikhathi sakho seqiniso. Futhi udinga ukufunda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nemizwa yokushiywa.
Ukuphulukisa nokuqeda izimpawu
Ngabe ubhekana kanjani nezinkinga zokushiya ebudlelwaneni? Uqala kanjani ukwelashwa?
Ukuphulukisa kuqala ngokwazisa. Uma uzimisele ngokuba nobudlelwano obunempilo, umshado nempilo engokomzwelo yomuntu siqu, kuqala ngokuthi uzibheka kanjani wena, nokuthi ulubheka kanjani uthando nomshado.
Ingabe uyazi ngezimbangela zakho?
Iningi labantu ababhekane nokushiywa nokuhlukunyezwa baveze izimbangela. Lezi zimbangela zingase ziqonde kancane ekuqaleni, kepha lapho uqala uhambo lokululama, uzazi kakhulu.
Isikhuthazi kuyisigameko noma igama elikhulunywayo elibhebhethekisa imizwa evela esikhathini sakho esedlule ongeke ubonakale ukulandela ngqo kepha kukwenza ucabange imicabango ethile futhi uzwe imizwa ethile.
Le micabango nemizwelo yakha uchungechunge lwezenzo ezingaba yindlela yokuzivikela noma ukuzilimaza. Lapho usuzivumile lezi zimbangela ungama kancane uphinde uhlole imicabango nemizwa yakho ngombono ocacile.
Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi uphendule ngokuhlunga kwengqondo okuqonda kunokuba kube nomzwelo.Kuliqiniso ukuthi sinomuzwa wokuthi imizwa ayiwona iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Lapho usebenzisa le nqubo ekwelapheni kwakho kuzoqala ukuqeda izimpawu ezigcina zikugulise (ukukhetha okungenampilo kubantu abashadile nokulimaza imishado.
Injabulo ukukhetha
Lapho usukwamukele futhi waba nozwelo kuzimbangela zakho ezidalwe ukushiywa nokuhlukunyezwa, manje usungakhetha injabulo. Uma ungashadile, manje unamandla okwenza izinqumo ezinempilo kumlingani ngoba isinqumo ngeke sisaba sidingweni.
Esikhundleni salokho, kuzoba kusuka esifisweni sokumane uthande futhi uthandwe. Uma ukhetha esifisweni sokuthandwa ngeqiniso, ulawula lokho ozimisele ukukwamukela futhi uqiniseka ngalokho okufanele ukwenqabe.
Uma usebudlelwaneni noma ushadile, manje ungazuza ngokukhomba izimbangela zakho bese ulungisa indlela ophendula ngayo ngoba manje uzohlunga ngokuhlakanipha, hhayi imizwelo engahleliwe. Ngichithe iminyaka eminingana ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo bokuphola nasemshadweni ongenampilo.
Encwadini ethi, “Ukunqoba Isandla Obukade Ukhona,” nginikeza imininingwane yemizwa yami, imicabango yami futhi niyabona, izingqinamba ezinganqunyiwe nezingagunci, zezinqumo engazenza ngenxa yezinkinga zokulahla nokuhlukumeza.
Ngakho-ke uma ushadile noma ungashadile futhi ufuna umshado, yiba nesineke uthathe lesi sikhathi ukwazi ukuthi ufunani ebudlelwaneni, futhi wazi ukuthi kunenjabulo kolunye uhlangothi lokwelashwa uma ukhetha ukuba njalo.
Ungamsiza kanjani umuntu onenkinga yokulahla
Manje uyazi ukuthi yini edingekayo ukwelapha izingqinamba zokulahlwa. Kepha kuthiwani uma uthandana nomuntu onenkinga yokulahla? Izinkinga zokulahlwa kwabesilisa zivamile.
Isizathu ukuthi, amadoda angalwa nobunzima bokukhuluma; lapho bebekezelela ukubuyela emuva noma isiqephu esibuhlungu esiholela ekwakhiweni kwezinkinga zokulahlwa, bangakugcina ngaphakathi kubo bangakhulumi.
Ngenxa yesigcwagcwa esihambisana nomqondo wokuthi amadoda anemizwa, ukuzizwa ulahliwe ebudlelwaneni kungaba yinto evamile emadodeni. Amadoda anezinkinga zokulahlwa kubonakala engathululeli isifuba kunoma ngubani, ngemuva kwalokho izingqinamba zilokhu zikhula njalo.
Uma uthandana nowesilisa onenkinga yokulahlwa kufanele umhambise akhulume nawe. Mkhuthaze ukuthi akhulume ngesiqephu esimenze wakhula lokhu kwesaba.
Menze aqonde ukuthi izindaba zokulahla zibuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano nokuthi kungaba namiphi imiphumela ekusaseni lakho ndawonye. Ngokusho lokho, ungamenzi abe nomuzwa wokuthi uma engakhulumi, uzomshiya naye.
Lokhu kuzoqinisa ukwesaba nakakhulu. Ukuthanda umuntu ngezinkinga zokulahla kusho ukuthi kufanele umqinisekise njalo ukuthi uzoba naye. Lapho uzuza kancane kancane ukuzethemba komlingani wakho, izimpawu zezinkinga zokulahlwa zizoncipha.
Enqubweni yokusiza umlingani wakho, ungabona owelapha ukuthola amathiphu wokuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani. Uma uzizwa unqikaza ukwenza lokho ungafunda nezincwadi ezithile ezikhuluma ngezinkinga zokulahlwa. Kunemininingwane eminingi laphaya engasiza ngempela ukuziguqula wena, umlingani wakho, nobudlelwano bakho.