-Delile
- USally wayeneminyaka engama-23 futhi wayehlala eSan Francisco lapho isiko lishintsha
- UFawn wayeneminyaka engu-19 ngaleso sikhathi, futhi unanela lokho okushiwo nguSally
- UMarc, 50, yisazi-mlando umsebenzi waso ugxile esikhathini senkululeko yezocansi
- URhonda unombono ongathandeki kangako wenkululeko yezocansi
Uma sikhuluma ngenkululeko yezocansi, sikhuluma ngani ngempela? Kwabaningi abantu, la magama amabili aletha izithombe zabesifazane abashisa amabhuleki abo ngesikhathi semiboniso eminingi, ihlobo loThando neHaight-Ashbury, kanye nomqondo ojwayelekile wokukhululeka kwezocansi okwakungaziwa phambilini. Kodwa-ke uyichaza kanjani, inkululeko yezocansi ibingumbutho obalulekile, oguqula amasiko owenzeka phakathi neminyaka engamashumi amabili phakathi kweminyaka yama-1960 kanye nawo-1980, futhi eyashintsha unomphela indlela ubulili, ikakhulukazi ubulili besifazane, obubukwa ngayo.
Kwabesifazane, inkululeko yezocansi imayelana nokufukulwa.
Owesifazane okhululwe ngokocansi unenkululeko yokuzikhethela phezu komzimba wakhe, injabulo yakhe, ukukhetha kwakhe kubalingani, nokuthi ufisa kanjani ukubuphila ubudlelwano bakhe bezocansi — okukhethekile, okungakhethi, njll. Masihlangane nabanye besifazane ukuvuswa kwabo ngokocansi kufike ngalesi sikhathi esibalulekile inkululeko yezocansi.
USally wayeneminyaka engama-23 futhi wayehlala eSan Francisco lapho isiko lishintsha
“Ngakhulela emndenini owawusedolobheni - ngokwesintu,” esitshela. “Umama wayehlala ekhaya ekhulisa mina nabafowethu, nobaba wayesebenza. Kwakuncane ukukhuluma ngezocansi futhi cha khuluma ngobumnandi bezocansi. Kwakucatshangwa ukuthi ngizohlala ngiyintombi ngize ngishade. Futhi ngangiyintombi yonke ekolishi.
Ngemuva kokufunda kwami, ngathuthela eSan Francisco ngafika khona ngaleso sikhathi esibucayi sasehlobo sothando. Isiqubulo sethu? "Vula, vula, uphume." Kwakunenqwaba yezidakamizwa ezazizungeza, uhlobo olusha lomculo lwaluza endaweni yesehlakalo, futhi sonke sasigqoka ngoMary Quant kanye nethayi.
Ngalokho konke lokho kwakukhona lo mqondo wothando lwamahhala. Sasikwazi ukufinyelela ekulawuleni ukubeletha futhi ukwesaba ukukhulelwa kukhishwe ku-equation.
Ngakho-ke salala nanoma ngubani esasimfuna, lapho sasifuna, noma ngaphandle kokuzibophezela okuvela kumfana. Kwakuyinkululeko yezocansi kimi ... futhi nginenhlanhla yokuthi ngiphile lokho. Kwakha indlela engibheka ngayo ubulili nenjabulo yezocansi impilo yami yonke. ”
UFawn wayeneminyaka engu-19 ngaleso sikhathi, futhi unanela lokho okushiwo nguSally
“Ngizibona nginenhlanhla yokuthi sengikhulile ngesikhathi sokukhululeka ngocansi. Ayengasekho amalebuli afana ne "slut" noma "intombazane elula" noma wonke amanye ama-monikers abantu abawasebenzisa ngokuhlwaya kubantu besifazane abagomela izifiso zabo zocansi.
Besingakhululekile nje kuphela ukujabulela ucansi, kepha besikhululekile ehlazweni elihambisana nokuzijabulisa kocansi, ngicabanga ukuthi amahloni ngicabanga ukuthi omama bethu babenawo.
Ukukhululwa ngokocansi futhi kwakusho ukuthi singaba nabalingani abaningi ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokuthi sizobonwa njengesikhova. Wonke umuntu wayenabalingani abahlukahlukene, kwakuyingxenye yesiko. Empeleni, uma ubufuna ukuba nomfazi oyedwa (obekuyinto ebengiyithanda kakhulu), abantu bakubize ngokuthi "uptight" noma "possessive".
Ngempela ngijabule ngokuthi izinto zahlala phansi ngeminyaka yama-80s, futhi kwabuyela ekubambeni inkosikazi eyodwa, ikakhulukazi uma i-AIDS ifikile endaweni yesehlakalo ngoba lesi kwakuyisimo sami semvelo.
O, ungangizwa kabi. Ngangiwuthanda umuzwa wokufukulwa yinhlangano yenkululeko yezocansi, kepha ekugcineni, ngangiwuhlobo lomuntu wesifazane oyedwa. Noma kunjalo, benginokukhetha, futhi lokho bekukuhle. ”
UMarc, 50, yisazi-mlando umsebenzi waso ugxile esikhathini senkululeko yezocansi
Uyasifundisa: “Umgogodla oyinhloko wenkululeko yezocansi kwaba ngukuthuthuka nokutholakala kabanzi kokulawulwa kokuzalwa. Umqondo wami ngaphandle kwalokhu, inkululeko yezocansi ibingenakwenzeka. Cabanga ngakho. Ukube abesifazane bebengakaze bathole iPilisi, ucansi kungenzeka ngabe luhlala lubekelwe imibhangqwana eshadile, ebinesakhiwo sokukhulisa zonke lezo zingane ezizalwe ngoba ibingekho indlela ethembekile yokuvimbela inzalo.
Ngokufika kweThe Pill kwafika inkululeko yokuya ocansini ngenxa yokuzijabulisa, hhayi ukuzala kuphela. Lokhu bekuyi-ballgame entsha ngokuphelele yabesifazane, okuthi kuze kube yinhlangano yenkululeko yezocansi, babengenayo inkululeko, njengabesilisa, yokujabulela ucansi ngaphandle kokwesaba ukukhulelwa.
Ukusuka lapho, abesifazane baqonda ukuthi bangabashayeli bezocansi zabo, ubumnandi babo, nokuthi bangalusebenzisa kanjani ucansi ukuziveza futhi baxhumane nezwe elibazungezile. Yeka ushintsho kubo!
Ngabe singcono ngakho?
Yebo, ngezindlela eziningi siyikho. Ucansi nobumnandi kuyizinto ezibalulekile empilweni. Kubeke ngale ndlela. Ngaphambi kwenguquko kwezocansi, abesifazane babenesidingo sokuxhumana nobulili babo kodwa bengenandlela yokwenza kanjalo ngaphandle komongo womshado. Lokho kwakubakhawulela ngempela.
Kodwa ngemuva kwenguquko kwezocansi, bakhululwa futhi manje sebengathola ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba nomuntu ozimele kuzo zonke izindawo zokuphila kwabo, kwezocansi nangaphandle kocansi. ”
URhonda unombono ongathandeki kangako wenkululeko yezocansi
“Lalela, ngiphile kulesi sikhathi lapho bekushubile ngokuphelele. Futhi ngingakutshela into eyodwa: abazuzi beqiniso benkululeko yezocansi babengebona abesifazane. Kwakungabesilisa. Ngokungazelelwe bangaya ocansini lapho befuna, nabalingani abahlukahlukene, ngokuzibophezela okungazelelwe nemiphumela emibi.
Kepha qagela ini?
Ngayo yonke inkulumo yabo "ekhululiwe", abesifazane bebelokhu befana: bafuna ukuzibophezela. Bafuna ukuya ocansini nomlingani onothando, lowo abathandana naye. Uyazibona zonke lezi zithombe zemidiya zikaWoodstock nabesilisa nabesifazane abaya ocansini nomaphi nanoma ngubani, kepha empeleni, abakhululwe kakhulu ngocansi kuthi bafuna ukuhlala phansi nomuntu oyedwa omuhle ekupheleni kosuku futhi nje benze ucansi oluhle kakhulu yena.
O, amadoda ajabule kakhulu ngalo makethe wamahhala wezocansi. Kodwa abesifazane? Angikaze ngicabange ngomunye wabo namuhla ongafuna ukukhumbula izinsuku zabo zenkululeko yezocansi. ”