-Delile
- 1. Sishade sisencane kakhulu futhi sishesha ngokweqile
- 2. Ukuxhumana okwethusayo
- 3. Umkhohlisi we-serial
- 4. Izindlela ezahlukahlukene
- 5. Ayikho impilo yocansi
Asikuthandi ukukucabanga lapho siqala ezimpilweni zethu zomshado, kepha izibalo zikhona: Imishado engama-46% e-United States iphela ngesehlukaniso. Akuyona yonke imishado ephela ngezizathu ezifanayo, ngakho-ke besicabanga ukuthi sizokhuluma nabantu abathile abahlukanisile ukuthola umqondo walokho okonakalise ubudlelwano babo. Indaba yawo wonke umuntu yehlukile, kepha konke kungasisiza siqonde ezinye zezingibe okufanele sizigweme ukuze sijabulele imishado ejabulisayo ehlala njalo.
1. Sishade sisencane kakhulu futhi sishesha ngokweqile
USusan, owahlukanisa eneminyaka engu-50, usitshela ngokwenzeka emshadweni wakhe. “Ngahlangana no-Adam embuthweni wezempi; umfowethu wayeseMbuthweni Wezomoya futhi wangimemela kulo mcimbi ngesisekelo. Sasisencane kakhulu — eminyakeni yethu yobudala engama-20, futhi ukukhangana kwaba khona ngokushesha. Ngicabanga ukuthi nami ngakhangwa yilokho engangikwazi ngempilo yezempi — ukuthi ngokushada no-Adam, ngangizoba nale mpilo yokuhamba neyomphakathi. Ngakho-ke lapho esezothunyelwa ngemuva kwamasonto ayisithupha sihlangane, ngashada naye. Iphutha elingakanani.
Sasisebancane kakhulu futhi sasingazani kangako.
Futhi-ke konke lokho kuthunyelwa kwakunzima emshadweni wethu nasempilweni yomndeni, kepha sakubambela izingane ndawonye. Kodwa ekhaya kwakugcwele izimpi nentukuthelo, futhi lapho izingane sezikhulile futhi sezihambile, sahlukanisa.
Ukube bekufanele ngikwenze futhi, Ngangingeke ngishade ngisemncane kangaka, futhi bengizolinda futhi ngithandane nalo muntu okungenani unyaka ukuthola umqondo omuhle wokuthi bangobani ngempela.”
2. Ukuxhumana okwethusayo
Nakhu okushiwo uWanda ngomshado wakhe. “Asikaze sikhulume. Lokhu yikho okwagcina kuchithe umshado wethu. Ngangiziqhayisa kubangane bami ngokuthi mina noRay asikaze silwe kanjani, kodwa isizathu esingazange silwe yingoba asikaze sikhulume nhlobo.
URay wayevaliwe ngokomzwelo, ukugwema ngokuphelele noma yisiphi isihloko esingamenza azizwe okuthile.
Futhi nginesidingo esikhulu sokuvulela umlingani wami izinto ngezinto — izinto ezijabulisayo noma ezibuhlungu. Iminyaka ngazama ukumenza ahlanganyele nami ... ukukhuluma ngezinkinga ezazidala izinkinga emshadweni wethu. Wayevele avale futhi kwesinye isikhathi aphume endlini.
Ekugcineni, angibange ngisakwazi ukuyithatha. Bekungifanele umlingani obekwazi ukungivulela yonke into, onemizwa. Ngakho-ke ngafaka isicelo sesehlukaniso futhi manje sengibona umfana omkhulu okwaziyo ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Wenza umehluko omkhulu! ”
3. Umkhohlisi we-serial
UBrenda wayazi ukuthi umyeni wakhe wayenempilo yokuphola esebenzayo ngaphambi kokuba bathembisane umshado. Lokho wayengazi, noma kunjalo, ukuthi wayenesidingo sokuqhubeka nokubona abalingani abaningi nangemva kokubopha ifindo.
"Bengithandana nomyeni wami omuhle, omnandi, wephathi-silwane," esitshela. “UPhilip ubeyimpilo yephathi, futhi bonke abangane bami bangitshele ukuthi nginenhlanhla kangakanani ngokuthi umyeni wami ubekhangeka futhi enenhlalo.
Angikaze ngisole ukuthi ubesebenza kuma-dating apps nakumawebhusayithi ngaze ngathola umyalezo kuFacebook ovela kowesifazane othile engazisa ukuthi umyeni wami ubethandana naye eminyakeni emibili edlule.
Yeka ukuvusa! Bengingazi kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi leyo ingozi yazo zonke lezi zingosi ezisekelwe kwi-inthanethi-umfana wakho angaba nokuphila okumbaxa-mbili futhi akufihle kalula. Ngakho-ke ngabhekana naye futhi ngabona ukuthi lokhu kwakuyingxenye yobuntu bakhe futhi kwakungeke kushintshe. Ngafaka isicelo sesehlukaniso ngemuva nje kwalokho. Nginesoka elihle manje, elingelihle futhi elingaxhumani nomphakathi njengoFiliphu, kepha onokwethenjelwa futhi ongeke azi ukuthi yini uhlelo lokusebenza lokuphola! "
4. Izindlela ezahlukahlukene
UMelinda usitshela ukuthi yena nomyeni wakhe bavele bahlukana. “Kubuhlungu kakhulu ngoba emqondweni wami umshado ungowempilo yonke. Kepha njengoba sikhula, izintshisekelo zethu nezindlela zethu zokuphila zavele zaya ngezindlela ezihlukile. Ngicabanga ukuthi besingasebenza kanzima ukwazisa izidingo zomunye nomunye, kodwa bengifuna umyeni wami “omdala” abuye, umfana obe ngumngane wami omkhulu, engisanda kubuthana naye lapho singasebenzi.
Cishe eminyakeni eyi-15 beshadile, konke lokhu kwashintsha. Izimpelasonto wayezenzela ezakhe izinto — kungaba ngokusebenzela eshabhu lakhe noma ukuqeqeshela enye imarathon. Lezi zinto azizange zingithakazelise kangako ngakho-ke ngazakhela eyami inethiwekhi yabangane, futhi wayengeyona ingxenye yalokho.
Ukuhlukanisa kwethu kwakuyisinqumo sobabili. Kwakungenangqondo ukuhlala ndawonye uma singabelani ngalutho.
Ngiyethemba ukuthi ngizothola umuntu ofuna ukuhlanganyela nami empilweni yami, kodwa okwamanje, ngenza nje into yami, futhi nowakwami wenza okwakhe. ”
5. Ayikho impilo yocansi
UCarol usitshela ukuthi ukungabikho kwempilo yenyama, nokusondelana kwakuwutshani obaphula iqolo lekamela kwaholela ekuchithekeni komshado.
“Umshado wethu sasiwuqale ngempilo emnandi yocansi. KULUNGILE, kwakungeyona neze i-glue esasihlanganisile, futhi i-ex yami yayingenaso isifiso esifanayo nami, kodwa sasizoya ocansini kanye ngesonto, okungenani.
Kodwa njengoba iminyaka ihamba, lokhu kwehla kwaba kanye ngenyanga. Maduze nje sizobe sesihamba izinyanga eziyisithupha, unyaka owodwa, ngaphandle kocansi.
Lapho ngishaya ama-40, futhi ngangikhululeke kahle esikhumbeni sami, i-libido yami yayishile. Futhi i-ex yami yayingenandaba. Ngazitshela ukuthi kuzofanele ngimkhohlise noma ngimshiye. Ngangingafuni ukuthandana — wayengakufanele lokho — ngakho ngamcela ukuba ahlukanise. Manje usenomuntu ohambelana kakhulu (ngokusho kwakhe) ukuthi akanasifiso sobulili. Nami-ke konke kuhamba kahle! ”