-Delile
- 1. Ulimi oluqondile
- 2. Ukuzizwa kungenalutho
- 3. Indlela yokubikezela
- 4. Ukuxhumana ngamehlo akho
- 5. Ukuzivocavoca okuthathu nokwesithathu
- 6. Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi ‘Mina’
- 7. Ukulalela okusebenzayo okungaphazanyiswa
- 8. Khumbulani ndawonye
- 9. Imibuzo nomunye
- 10. Ngiboleke isandla
Kuyini ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo emshadweni?
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obujabulisayo nobuphumelelayo. Kuyingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu, ikakhulukazi lapho kuhileleke khona uthando.
Kuyisenzo sokuhambisa izincazelo kusuka kwelinye ibhizinisi noma iqembu liye kwelinye ngokusebenzisa izimpawu eziqondisanayo, izimpawu kanye nemithetho ye-semiotic.
Ukuxhumana okusebenzayo kuyinqubo yokushintshana ngemibono, imicabango, ulwazi kanye nolwazi ukuze injongo noma inhloso ifezeke ngendlela engcono kakhulu.
Ukuxhumana kuvumela abantu ababili ukuba bahlangane futhi bavule amaqiniso abo. Kwandisa ukusondelana futhi kuvumela imibhangqwana ukuthi ithulule izinhliziyo zayo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa.
Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi imibhangqwana exhumana ngempumelelo inemishado emide futhi enenjabulo uma iqhathaniswa naleyo mibhangqwana engakhulumisani.
Ukuxhumana kwenza izinto zibe lula ngoba kunezimfihlo ezimbalwa nokuthembana okukhulu. Uma ukwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile nganoma yini, ngeke sibe khona isidingo sokuyifihla. Ngakho-ke kuzoba nezinkinga ezincane.
Ukubaluleka kokuzivocavoca kokuxhumana kwemibhangqwana
Ngeke siliphike iqiniso lokuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuxhumana kuvame ukwehla. Kungenzeka kube nokushoda kwezihloko ongakhuluma ngazo nsuku zonke, futhi izingxoxo zingaba nesidina.
Isikhumbuzo sendlela yokuxhumana ngendlela efanele singakusiza ugcine imigqa yokuxhumana iqonde ngisho nangemva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu ushadile.
Ukuzivocavoca ngemishado kuvamile kakhulu futhi kusize abantu abaningi ukuthi baxoxe kangcono nsuku zonke.
Lezi zivivinyo zomshado noma zokuxhumana zobudlelwano zikusiza ukuthi ukhulume ngokwemvelo futhi ugeleze nomlingani wakho. Senze uhlu lokuzivocavoca kokuxhumana olungasiza, ngakho-ke banikeze ukufunda.
1. Ulimi oluqondile
Abantu bavame ukuthatha izinto ezishiwo ngolimi oluhle nethoni ebucayi kakhulu kunaleyo eshiwo ngolimi olubi noma ithoni. Ucwaningo luqinisekise ukuthi okushoyo akuyona into ebaluleke kuphela, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ukusho kanjani.
Ukugcina ithoni yakho nolimi lwakho kuyinto enhle kakhulu yokuxhumana komshado.
Ukusetshenziswa njalo kolimi olungeluhle kungenza umlingani wakho azizwe ehlaselwa futhi esolwa. Indlela engcono yokuqeda lokhu kunganaki ebudlelwaneni bakho ukusho into engeyona ngendlela enhle kakhulu.
Lokhu kungazwakala kudida, kepha akunjalo.
Isibonelo, uma uzwa ukuthi ihembe elinombala oluhlaza alihambelani nomlingani wakho, ngakho-ke kunokuba uthi 'Angilithandi ihembe lakho,' kufanele uthi 'Ngicabanga ukuthi elimnyama libukeka lingcono kakhulu kuwe.'
2. Ukuzizwa kungenalutho
Abantu abaningi bakhala ngokuthi kwesinye isikhathi baba nobunzima bokuzichaza kubalingani babo. Ngokuvamile banikeza izaba 'zokuzizwa bengenalutho.'
Lapho izimo ezinjengalezi zenzeka, kunconywa ukuthi ufunde ngokuzwakalayo izimo ezahlukahlukene, ngokwesibonelo, 'Uma ungakuthandi ukudla kwami' 'Uma ufika ekhaya sekwephuzile' 'Uma udlala nezingane' bese uqhubeka ngokuthi 'Mina zizwe ___. '
Okungenalutho kufanele kube nomuzwa owuzwayo ngaleso sikhathi esithile. Lesi ngesinye sezivivinyo zokuxhumana zemibhangqwana ezinomthelela omkhulu ezingasetshenziswa ebudlelwaneni njengesiqinisi sokuxhumana.
3. Indlela yokubikezela
Olunye uhlelo olusebenzayo lokuxhumana komshado luyindlela yokubikezela.
Le ndlela ithi imibhangqwana ijwayele ukucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi izosabela kanjani esimweni esithile ngokungafani nokuthi umlingani wayo uzosabela kanjani esimweni esithile.
Ungazikhawulela ekwenzeni imicabango ngokubhala phansi izimo ezimbalwa ezahlukahlukene futhi ubikezele ukuthi uzakwethu uzosabela kanjani.
Lokhu kuvulela indawo ingxoxo mayelana nemizwa, izinkinga ezingavela ngokuzayo, ukungathembani, njll.
4. Ukuxhumana ngamehlo akho
Lokhu kungukuzivocavoca okungenangqondo ngokukhethekile ekubhekaneni neso neso.
Kulo msebenzi, lezi zithandani zihlala zibhekane endaweni enokuthula, ebavumela ukuthi baphumule.
Laba bobabili bese bebheka iso imizuzu emihlanu, ngaphandle kokuphuka noma ukujikela. Ngalesi sikhathi, lo mbhangqwana kufanele uvumele imizwa nemizwa yabo ejulile ivele.
Ngemuva kwemizuzu emihlanu, imibhangqwana kufanele ikhulume ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo, kanjani nokuthi izwakale kanjani, futhi izame ukubeka emazwini imizwa ebiyizwile.
Ngemuva kokufunda ngokuhlangenwe nakho komunye nomunye, abashadikazi kufanele bazinike ithuba lokucabanga ngalokho umlingani wabo abelana ngakho futhi bahlole ubudlelwane babo nokuthi bakwazi kanjani ukubamba izinto ezingekho ngamazwi nezenzo zomzimba.
Futhi bukela: Izithandani zibukane imizuzu engama-4 ziqonde.
5. Ukuzivocavoca okuthathu nokwesithathu
Lo msebenzi wokuxhumana ngemishado ulula kakhulu kepha uyasebenza kakhulu. Wena nomlingani wakho kuzofanele nihlale ngokuhlukana endaweni ethule nephepha nepeni.
Manje kufanele ubhale izinto ezintathu ezifanele ozithandayo ngomlingani wakho nezinto ezintathu ongazithandi ngomlingani wakho.
Lolu hlu luzobe selwethulwa phambi komunye nomunye endaweni engathathi hlangothi. Nobabili kudingeka nikhulume ngento ngayinye ebhaliwe futhi nixoxe ngayo ngomoya ophansi.
Akekho kini okufanele azizwe ecasukile noma ecindezelekile ngenkathi ekhuluma ngohlu. Thatha izinto umlingani wakho angazithandi ngawe ngomoya omuhle bese uzama ukukuguqula lokho ekugcineni.
6. Sebenzisa izitatimende ezithi ‘Mina’
Ukukhomba ngeminwe, ukugxeka, ukusola, nokuhlazeka yizindlela zakudala imibhangqwana ezizama ukuzisebenzisa ukusebenzisana.
Ngeshwa, la maqhinga awabasondezi noma abasize baxhumane nomlingani wakho. Lezi zinketho ziholela ekunqanyulweni, ekuwohlokeni, ekuqhekekeni nasekuxhumaneni okungathembekile phakathi kwemibhangqwana.
Lapho sicasukile noma sithukuthele, kuphephe kakhulu ukuveza imizwa yethu ngokusebenzisa isitatimende esithi "Mina". Ngale ndlela, sithatha umthwalo wemizwa yethu futhi sinciphise ukusola.
Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ukusebenzisa i-Ulimi kusize ekunciphiseni amathuba okuthi izingxoxo ezingqubuzanayo zizokwehla ziye phansi ekuzondeni kobutha.
Isitatimende esithi "Mina" ekuvezeni imizwa yethu sithola imiphumela engcono kakhulu ekusisondeleni kubantu ezimpilweni zethu. Kusivumela ukuthi sibe nemizwa yethu futhi sivumele ukuphepha nokusondela ekuxhumaneni kwethu nawo wonke umuntu esihlanganyela naye.
7. Ukulalela okusebenzayo okungaphazanyiswa
Omunye umsebenzi olula kodwa onamandla wokuxhumana ubizwa ngokuthi Ukulalela okungaphazanyiswa okusebenzayo.
Ngenkathi singazibona silusizo ngokunikeza iziyalezo noma ngokuchaza ukuthi singenza kanjani okuthile, umlingani wethu angahumusha lokhu kuziphatha njengokuhlala kwethu kudinga ukuba "sibe neqiniso."
Sonke njengabantu sidinga ukuzizwa sizwakala, siqondwa, futhi sicatshangwa ngakho, futhi lo msebenzi ungakusekela wena nozakwabo ozizwa ngale migqa.
Qala ngokusetha iwashi lalo msebenzi (imizuzu emithathu kuya kwemihlanu) bese uvumela umlingani wakho akhulume.
Bangakhuluma nganoma yini eseqhulwini emicabangweni yabo - umsebenzi, isikole, wena, izingane, abangane noma umndeni, ingcindezi –yikho konke umdlalo ofanele.
Ngenkathi bekhuluma, isibopho sakho ukuzama ukungakhulumi nhlobo kuze kuphele iwashi. Vele ungene bese umunca yonke into.
Ngenkathi ungeke ukhulume ngalesi sikhathi, uvunyelwe ukunikeza ukwesekwa okungakhulumi ngamazwi noma uzwelo ngokusebenzisa izinkomba nezenzo zomlomo.
Lapho iphuma khona iwashi, shintsha uphinde uzame ukuzivocavoca futhi.
Futhi, khumbula ukungena nomlingani wakho bese ubacela ukuthi bachaze noma yimaphi amaphuzu ongaqiniseki ngawo ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi ukuzwa abakushoyo futhi uqonde umbono wabo.
Ukubuza imibuzo enjengokuthi “Ngicela ungitshele kabanzi ngalokho” kungakusiza uthole ukucaciseleka.
8. Khumbulani ndawonye
Ukubuyekeza nokuthokozela izinkumbulo ezindala kungukuzivocavoca okuhle kwemibhangqwana ukuzizwa ikhumbula futhi ikhumbule ukuthi kungani ithandana futhi inakekelana.
Kulokhu kuvivinya umzimba, qala ngokuthatha isikhathi esithile osukwini lwakho futhi nichithe isikhathi nomunye. Gxila ekukhumbuleni izinkumbulo zakho zakudala njengezithandani noma sebenzisa ama-albhamu wakho, izinhlamvu ezindala, izipho, kanye nemiyalezo okungenzeka niyishintshanisile.
Yabelana ngokuthi uzizwe kanjani ngalezo zikhathi; uzothola ukuthi kuhlale kunokuthile obungakwazi ngomlingani wakho.
Ukukhuluma ngokukhululeka ngezinkumbulo zakudala kuzenza zibe yigugu nakakhulu futhi kukusondeze komunye nomunye.
9. Imibuzo nomunye
Umazi kangakanani umlingani wakho? Noma ucabanga ukuthi umazi kahle kangakanani umlingani wakho?
Nakhu ukuthi ungathola kanjani. Lungiselela isethi yemibuzo mayelana nokuthandayo nokungathandi noma izinkumbulo zakudala nezehlakalo. Dlulisela imibuzo kumlingani wakho bese uqala ukubuzana.
Khumbula, inhloso yalolu hlelo lokuxhumana ukuzijabulisa nokwazana kangcono futhi ungazizwa udabukile noma wahlulele umlingani wakho ngokuthola izimpendulo zingalungile.
10. Ngiboleke isandla
Ukuvivinya lo mbhangqwana omangalisayo wokuxhumana kumayelana nokubamba iqhaza. Ngalesi sikhathi
ukuzivocavoca, umbhangqwana kufanele uqede isabelo ndawonye.
Ukuzivocavoca ukuthi nobabili nizoboshwa nesandla esisodwa ngemuva. Lokhu kusho ukuthi kufanele ubambisane ngokuphelele futhi ubambe iqhaza ekuphoqelelaneni kokukhulumisana ngomlomo ukufeza isabelo ngempumelelo.
Kuyindlela enhle yokubheka ukuthi ngubani ophethe ngokwengeziwe nokuthi ngubani ongumholi ebudlelwaneni.
Ngalo msebenzi, uzokwazi ukuqonda ukuthi ukubhekana kanjani kahle nengcindezi nengcindezi njengombhangqwana, futhi uma wehluleka, ungaqala ukuthola izindlela zokusebenza kulezi zingibe njengezithandani.