-Delile
- Ngabe ubudlelwano bungasinda 'ukuhlala ngokuhlukana' ngemuva kokuhlala ndawonye?
- Yiziphi izinkinga zokungahlali ndawonye?
- Ukungabi nokusondelana
- Ukuxhumana okubuthakathaka
- Izinkinga zokuthembela
- Umzamo owengeziwe wokugcina
- Isiphetho
Ukuba nesikhathi sakho wedwa ungazizwa njengombono omuhle kwesinye isikhathi; kodwa-ke, kunesikhathi sodwa kuphela lapho ubudlelwano bakho bumelana khona ngaphambi kokuthi bunqamuke buhlukane.
Ngenkathi imibhangqwana eminingi ethembisene umshado imatasa nezindleko zokushada, eminye imibhangqwana ikhetha ukushada ehholo ledolobha, futhi kukhona elinye iqembu labantu elenza okunye ngokuhlukile.
Noma ngabe abantu bakhetha ukushada noma cha, imibhangqwana eminingi ilandela indlela efanayo yobudlelwano lapho ihlangana khona, iyathandana, bese ekugcineni ihlangana.
Muva nje, abanye abantu bashintsha inkolelo futhi bakhetha ukuthandana nokuba nobudlelwano besikhathi eside ngaphandle kokuhlala nabathandekayo babo. Lokhu kwaziwa njengokuhlala ndawonye.
Ngabe ubudlelwano bungasinda 'ukuhlala ngokuhlukana' ngemuva kokuhlala ndawonye?
Ngaphambi kokuthi sikhulume ngokuthi ukuhlala ndawonye kuyasebenza noma cha, ake siqonde ukuthi kusho ukuthini.
Emibhangqwaneni emisha, ukukhetha ukuhlala ngokuhlukana kungenxa yezimo zezezimali noma ngenxa yokwehlukana okulethwa yisikole noma umsebenzi.
Njengoba abashadile bevame ukuba neminyaka engaphezu kwengama-60, isizathu esivame kakhulu sokuba sebudlelwaneni "bokuhlala ndawonye" ukuzimela.
Eqenjini elincane labashadikazi, iningi labantu livame ukuhamba nabalingani babo, kanti lapho kukhulunywa ngokuguga, imibhangqwana eminingi ayinazo lezo zinhlelo.
Le mibhangqwana ifuna ukuhlala endlini yayo futhi inamathele endleleni yokuphila enayo ngenkathi ihlala ebudlelwaneni bokuzibophezela, futhi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, iqembu labadala linabantu abake bashada phambilini futhi banezingane esezikhulile. Laba bantu abafuni ukushiya ukuzimela kwabo bese beqala phansi.
Futhi, iningi lalaba bantu alikho ekunakekeleni abashade nabo, futhi abanye abafuni ukwenza inkinga yefa lezingane zabo.
Ngakho-ke, le ndlela yokuphila ehlukene ndawonye ibavumela ukuthi baphile impilo ngendlela abafuna ngayo, babe nesikhala sabo sokwenza into yabo, futhi babe nomuntu omthandayo nothandwayo.
Yiziphi izinkinga zokungahlali ndawonye?
Njengazo zonke ezinye izinqumo, ukuhlala ndawonye nakho kuza nezinkinga nezinzuzo zako.
Ukuba nesikhathi sodwa kungazwakala kuyinto enhle, kepha-ke ukuba nesikhathi esiningi kakhulu kungakwenza ucindezeleke nobudlelwano bakho bonke buphele.
Okunye ukungalungi okuza ngokuhlala ndawonye ndawonye yilokhu:
Ukungabi nokusondelana
Imibhangqwana ejabulayo ivame ukuveza uthando lwayo ngezenzo zomzimba njengokuqabula nokuhaga. Kwenzekani lapho udinga ukwanga phakathi kwamabili?
Ukuvuka embhedeni wakho ongenalutho uma usebudlelwaneni kuyaguga, futhi uzofuna othile ozokuganga naye.
Ukuhlala ndawonye ubudlelwano busebenza kuphela lapho bobabili abantu bedinga indawo yabo futhi balungile ngokuntuleka kokusondelana okukhona.
Ukuxhumana okubuthakathaka
Ukuxhumana kungaphezu kokukhuluma nje. Ukuba nokuxhumana okungakhulumi ngamazwi kubaluleke kakhulu kunokuxhumana ngomlomo ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Umbhalo olula nocingo alunakuthatha indawo yenjabulo oyizwayo lapho ubheka iso nabathandekayo bakho, noma lapho nixoxisana ekuseni lapho niqabulana futhi niqabulana.
Ngenkathi sihlala ndawonye, ukuxhumana okubuthakathaka kuyinto ejwayelekile, futhi lokhu kuholela ebudlelwaneni obubuthakathaka.
Izinkinga zokuthembela
Ukwakha ukwethembana nothile kulula ukukwenza uma ukhona ukubheka indlela abaziphethe ngayo futhi uyibheke.
Uzokwazi kanjani uma ukhohliswa lapho umlingani wakho engekho eduze kwakho isikhathi esiningi? Uzilungisa kanjani lezi zinkinga zokwethembana?
Ukuba nobudlelwano ‘bokuhlala ndawonye’ kungalandelwa kuphela ngabantu abaqinile ezinkolelweni zabo ukuze bahlale bethembekile. Abanye abantu bavame ukusebenzisa lobu budlelwane ukubona ukuthi ngubani okhona futhi baphinde bahlole obunye ubudlelwano obuvulekile.
Uma 'kungekho zintambo ezifakwe ebudlelwaneni' kuyinto ovumelana ngayo nomlingani wakho, khona-ke ukuhlala ndawonye kungaba yinto enhle kuwe. Kepha uma ujwayele ukuba nezinkinga zokuthembana, ke gwema ukuba nalolu hlobo lobudlelwano.
Umzamo owengeziwe wokugcina
Ngaphandle kwezizathu ezingenhla zokugwema lo mkhuba wokuhlala ndawonye, enye into embi eyilethayo ukuthi ukuhlala ngokuhlukana ndawonye kudinga ukunakekelwa okwengeziwe.
Zonke izithiyo nezinkinga zokungabi embuthanweni ofanayo nowakwakho kuzokwenza ubuze ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwano bakho bufanele yini ukufaka lo mzamo.
Noma ngabe umlingani wakho angaba muhle kanjani, kunezinye izinhlanzi eziningi olwandle, futhi lapho uthola umuntu ofuna ukuhlala naye, ungahle uthande ukuqeda ukuhlala ndawonye nobudlelwano.
Isiphetho
Umbuzo othi “ukuhlala ndawonye kuyasebenza noma cha” kuyinto encike ngokuphelele kuwe.
Uma uzimisele ukukusebenzela, kuzoba kuhle, futhi uma ungakwazi ukukwenza, lokhu akuwona umqondo omuhle lowo. Ngakho-ke, khetha ngokuhlakanipha.