-Delile
- Ukungqubuzana kuhlala kusobala
- Uthola u- “A” ngomzamo
- Impilo iyindida
- Funda amaqhinga amasha
- Ukuthola umelaphi ofanele
Imibhangqwana ayifuni ukwelulekwa kwezithandani noma ukwelashwa kobudlelwano kuze kube isimo sabo siyinhlekelele. Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani imvamisa kuyindlela yokugcina izithandani ezisenkingeni.
Isigcwagcwa esihambisana nokwelashwa okudinga ubudlelwano kungavimbela imibhangqwana eminingi kakhulu ukuthi iye ekwelashweni kwezithandani lapho kuqala inkinga, noma ngaphambi kokuba kuqale izinkinga.
Futhi, ungaya nini ukwelulekwa kwezithandani? Futhi ungayithola kanjani i-Therapist yezithandani? Ingabe eminye imibuzo imibhangqwana engakuthola kunzima ukuyiphendula.
Kodwa-ke, njalo kaningi, imibhangqwana enesibindi iza emibhangqwaneni yokwelulekwa ngobuhlobo noma ngabe akukho okungahambi kahle. Le mibhangqwana ifuna ukuvimbela kunokuba yelaphe izinkinga zobudlelwano bokuqala.
Umshado udinga ukuhlela okuningi ngokucophelela ukuze umbhangqwana ube nekusasa elihle. Futhi noma ngabe nithandana kangakanani, nakanjani niyoba nokungaboni ngaso linye nokwehluka.
Yize izingqinamba eziningi emshadweni zivame ukungabi bikho ngokwanele ukufuna ukwelulekwa kwezithandani, ezinye zalezi zinkinga zingakhula zibe yizinkinga ezivamile zobudlelwano besikhathi eside.
Ngakho-ke makube ngokwelulekwa kwabashadikazi abaku-inthanethi, ukwelulekwa ngemishado ngaphambi komshado, noma ukwelashwa kwezinkinga zobudlelwano ngaso sonke isikhathi kungcono ukuthola izinzuzo zokululekwa kwezithandani ngezinkinga zobudlelwano ngaphambi kokuba izinto zisuke esandleni.
Ukuqhubeka nokuqinisekisa impikiswano nazi ezinye izizathu zokuthi kungani ukufuna izinzuzo zokwelashwa kwezithandani lapho kungekho okungalungile kungaba ngcono kunokuqala uma izinkinga seziqalile noma lapho sekwephuze kakhulu ukwelulekwa ngomshado:
Ukungqubuzana kuhlala kusobala
Ukungqubuzana kuvame ukusobala kakhulu kumuntu obukele kunakwabathintekayo.
Izinkinga ezifihlwe ukukhulumisana kahle emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni zingenza ukuxazulula izinkinga kube nzima kakhulu njengoba abashadikazi behluleka ukubhekana nezinkinga zabo, ingasaphathwa eyokuqonda okulindelwe ngabalingani babo.
Ngenxa yalokho, njengoba inkinga iqala ukukhula, ukungakwazi kwabantu abashadile ukuxhumana kahle kuqala ukuthinta ezinye izindawo nezici zobudlelwano babo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, imibhangqwana efuna ochwepheshe ukuze ibasize banqume izinkinga ezingaba khona emshadweni okungenzeka bangazi ukuthi zikulungele kangcono ukuphatha izingxabano ebudlelwaneni noma emshadweni wabo.
Vele, akuyona yonke imibhangqwana edinga owelapha ukuphatha izinkinga zawo, kepha ukuba nomuntu wesithathu egumbini okungenzeka akulimazi.
Uthola u- “A” ngomzamo
Umzamo, uwedwa, odingekayo ukukwenza ukwelulekwa kwezithandani njalo kungasho ukuthi imibhangqwana ifaka amandla namandla emshadweni nasekuxazululeni izinkinga kunemibhangqwana engakwenzi lokho.
Umqondo wokuhambela ukululekwa kwezithandani ngokunakekelwa kokuvikela esikhundleni sokulawulwa kwezinhlekelele kungaba yinani elikhulu kakhulu. Ukwenza ukwelulekwa kwezithandani kube yinto eza kuqala kungaholela emizweni yokusebenza ngokubambisana nobumbano.
Impilo iyindida
Ngokungaqiniseki okuqhubekayo kokuphila, akukho mbhangqwana engaphepha ngempela ebunzimeni noma enhlekeleleni- lapho isisekelo sabashadikazi siqina kusukela ekuqaleni, siba ngcono.
Umbhangqwana othatha isikhathi sokungena ngokuhlelekile komunye nomunye, kungaba ngeviki noma nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, ungaba nethuba lokuphila ndawonye futhi wakhe imizwa yokuphepha nokuhlangana.
Phakade naphakade isikhathi eside, futhi noma yini ingenzeka, ngakho-ke kungenzeka ukuthi kube yinto ethile okufanele uyilungiselele kusengaphambili.
Khumbula ukuthi ukwelulekwa akusikho okwezithandani ezisosizini kuphela kepha nakwabashadikazi abajabule ngobudlelwano babo.
Funda amaqhinga amasha
Enye inzuzo yokwelulekwa kwezithandani zakuqala ukuthi ufunde amaqhinga amasha, ama-quirks, kanye nendlela yokuziphatha.
Ngaphandle kwenzuzo esobala yokuthuthuka kokuxhumana nokuxazulula izingxabano, ukwelulekwa ngemibhangqwana ehleliwe kungakhulisa ezinye izingxenye zempilo yakho yangasese. Ezinye zazo zibhalwe ngezansi:
- Umeluleki wemibhangqwana noma owelaphayo angakusiza ukuthi uhlaziye izindlela zakho zokuziphatha futhi ubone ukuthi yini ebangela lokho kuziphatha. Lapho lezi zimilo sezitholakele, manje usungafunda ukuzilawula.
- Kukusiza ukuthi usethe ukulindela okungokoqobo hhayi nomlingani wakho kuphela kodwa nawe uqobo. Ukululekwa kwezithandani ingakusiza ukuthi ubheke ngaphakathi futhi ubhekane namademoni akho nokungapheleli kwakho empilweni.
- Ufunda ukuphendula ngezenzo zakho bese udala isithombe esingokoqobo sobudlelwano bakho.
- Kujulisa ukusondelana okwabelana nomlingani wakho. Ungafunda izindlela ezintsha zokuzuza uthando lomlingani wakho, nabo bangafunda ukwenza okufanayo nakuwe.
Ukuthola umelaphi ofanele
Njengabashadikazi, uma nivulekele emcabangweni wokufuna ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi kokubhekana nenkinga ekhona, lokho kuzonisiza impela ukuqinisa umshado wenu.
Kepha esinye sezimbangela ezinkulu zokukhathazeka kwabashadikazi ukulandela ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ukuthola umeluleki noma umelaphi ofanele. Ake ngikusize ngaleyo conundrum.
Landela lezi zinyathelo njengesiqondiso sokuthola umeluleki ofanele kakhulu futhi ofanelekile:
Isinyathelo 1 - Ukuqala ukusesha
Lesi yisinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu ekutholeni umeluleki omuhle wemibhangqwana. Ungaqala ngokubuza abangani bakho nomndeni wakho ngezincomo; le kungaba yindlela efunwa kakhulu njengoba ungathola impendulo kumuntu ongamethemba.
Uma ukucela izincomo kungathandeki kuwe, ungabheka kwizikhombisi ezikhethekile nezithembekile njenge:
I-National Registry of Thermal-Friendly Therapists, The International Center for Excellence in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), kanye ne-American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT).
Ungasebenzisa futhi ukufuna usizo nge-inthanethi. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kufanele kube yisinqumo sakho sokugcina.
Isinyathelo 2- Funa iziqu ezifanele kanye nesipiliyoni
Uma ungakahlinzekelwa, cela iziqu zemfundo kameluleki ukulinganisa ukuthi bangakuhlomela kanjani ukubhekana nokukhathazeka kwakho.
Ngokungeziwe ekuqeqeshweni kobuchwepheshe, buza mayelana nolwazi lomsebenzi. Ukukhetha umeluleki onolwazi oluningi kakhulu nakho kungadingeka.
Isinyathelo 3- Izimfanelo zomeluleki ezibalulekile
Lesi sinyathelo sizokusiza ukuthi uqonde kangcono ukuthi yiziphi izimfanelo nezici okufanele uzifune nini ukukhetha umeluleki wezithandani.
Qala ngokubuza imibuzo ebuzayo, yiziphi izinkolelo zabo, uma beshadile noma cha, uma behlukanisile, uma banezingane, njll.
Imibuzo enjalo izokusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi uzofanelana kangakanani nomeluleki wakho.