-Delile
- Ukuhola
- Ukufana phakathi komshado nalokho okwenzeka endaweni yokudansa
- Shintshanani njengomholi nomlandeli
- Funa kuqala ukuqonda
- Ukuvumelanisa ngokusebenzisa ibhalansi nokuqonda
- Ukuhola nabalingani bakho ezingqondweni ezinhle kakhulu
Umshado ufana nomdanso, ufunda izigqi ezimbalwa eziyisisekelo kanye nezinyathelo ezithile zikanokusho, ngokwanele ukusho ukuthi ningadansa ndawonye futhi nihlale esiteji sokudansa kusihlwa noma esimweni somshado, ukuze nikwazi ukuzulazula impilo ndawonye.
Ngemuva kwesikhashana, ngenkathi ucabanga ukuthi ukunyakaza kwakho kwehlile, uze ube ngcono kulokhu kuhamba, kepha-ke uyaqaphela ukuthi kuneminyakazo eminingi kakhulu okudingeka uyenze - ukukugcina kuleyo ndawo yokudansa noma ukukuqhubela phambili ukuwela phansi ngenjabulo kunesithukuthezi.
Noma ngabe kweminye yemishado elungiselelwe kangcono lapho izingxoxo ngezihloko zangaphambi komshado zenzeka ngaphambi kosuku olukhulu, futhi wazi umeluleki wakho womshado uqobo, kusenezinselelo ezithile emshadweni eziyinkimbinkimbi futhi eziyinkimbinkimbi.
Kuneminyakazo okufanele uyenze nezinyathelo umlingani wakho okufanele azithathe ezizothatha ukudansa kwakho ziye kwelinye izinga nokuqinisekisa ubumnandi besikhathi eside - njengasemshadweni.
Ukuhola
Kwesinye isikhathi omunye wenu kumele ahole, nangezinye izikhathi omunye ahole.
Ngesikhathi somdanso, ungabona ukuthi ngaphandle kokugxila, ukuxhumana, nokuyala izithandani ezingadansayo zingashayisana futhi ziwele enqwabeni edungekile phansi, noma kungenzeka zimile ezinzwaneni zabanye noma zikhukhuleke kakhulu kude ngabanye.
Njengokuphila komshado.
Ukufana phakathi komshado nalokho okwenzeka endaweni yokudansa
Isikhungo i-Gottman Institute sigunyaza lesi simiso, sithi babona ukufana okuningi phakathi komshado nalokho okwenzeka endaweni yokudansa. Futhi ngakho-ke kukufanele ukuqonda ukuthi umshado umdanso.
Umdanso omude futhi omuhle futhi uma ufaka umsebenzi wokuthuthukisa amakhono, umusa, nokuhlawulisa ukuze uwukhiphe kahle.
Nazi ezinye zezifundo i-Gottman Institute esifundisa ngazo ngokuthi umshado ungumdanso kanjani, nokuthi ungakwamukela kanjani futhi futhi ukujabulele ukudansa nomlingani wakho impilo yakho yonke - ikakhulukazi uma ulalela lesi seluleko.
Shintshanani njengomholi nomlandeli
Emidansweni eminingi yezithandani kuba nomholi nomlandeli, okufanele kube njalo emshadweni. Kepha umehluko kuphela ukuthi umholi akufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi abe ngowesilisa. Esikhundleni salokho, nobabili kufanele nazijwayele zombili izindima, ukuze nikwazi ukungena nokuphuma kuzo kalula uma kudingeka.
Leli khono lokukwazi ukunyuka futhi wehle ezonikeza ukuguquguquka, ukusebenzisana, nokulinganisela emshadweni wakho.
Futhi kuyisifaniso esisebenzisekayo kulesi sifundo ukubona ukuthi ngokushintsha izindima ungena ezicathulweni zomunye nomunye okusho ukuthi imishado ephumelelayo imvamisa inabo bobabili abashadile abakwaziyo ukuqonda impilo nomshado ngokwembono yabalingani babo njengabo.
Zombili lezi zifundo ezibalulekile awucabangi?
Funa kuqala ukuqonda
Ukuqonda, nokuthatha isikhathi sakho ukuqonda hhayi kuphela izimo ohlangabezana nazo empilweni kepha futhi nombono womlingani wakho kwenza umehluko omkhulu emshadweni.
Ungaqala ukuzwana ngaphambi kokuthi uqale ukunyathela izinzwane zomunye nomunye. Thatha lokho ngokuqhubekayo bese uqala ukuqonda izenzo zakho nemicabango yakho - kufaka phakathi ukuthatha isikhathi sokucabanga ngokuthi kungani ungenza izinto ozenzayo, futhi okuphambene nalokho kwenza umdanso wakho ube nomusa ngokwengeziwe.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukuqonda kubandakanya nokuzinika isikhathi sokubona ukuthi ungene kanjani ezimweni ezithile nokuthi yini ongayenza ukuzixazulula.
Sondelani umshado wenu ngokuqondana nokubekezelelana.
Lapho bobabili abashadile befuna ukwenza ukuqonda kube yinto esemqoka emshadweni ungabona ukuthi bangasizana kalula kangakanani, basekelane futhi bathandane - esinye isifundo esihle esivela esikhungweni seGottman esinengqondo impela.
Ukuvumelanisa ngokusebenzisa ibhalansi nokuqonda
Kwazise ukubaluleka kokuqonda izinkinga zakho nezinselelo zakho kanye nokufuna izeluleko ezidingekayo zokuxazulula inkinga.
Uma ulinganisa lokho kuqonda ngesenzo, uthola ibhalansi phakathi kwakho okungaholela ekuvumelaneni phakathi komunye nomunye imibhangqwana eshadile ephupha ngakho.
Uma uvumelanisile uzokwazi ukuthi kufanele unyuke nini noma wehle nini.
Uzokwazi ukuthi nisizane kanjani futhi nini, futhi ngaphambi kokuthi nikwazi nizulazula ngaphesheya kwendawo yokudansa efakazela ukuthi yiqiniso - umshado umdanso.
Ukuhola nabalingani bakho ezingqondweni ezinhle kakhulu
Uma uhola ucabanga ngabalingani bakho bomshado noma izithandwa zakho zomdanso, ungaqiniseka ukuthi akukho lutho ngaphandle kobuhle nokuzwana okuzolandela - ikakhulukazi uma usuvele uthole ukuqonda nokuvumelanisa phakathi kwakho.
Ukuthembana kuzoqhakaza, Ukusondelana kuzoqhakaza, futhi umdanso owenziwa umshado wakho uzoba ngumlingo.
IGottman Institute inikeza imininingwane ethe xaxa kanye nezifundo ezisemthethweni zokwenza umshado wakho ube umdanso. Ngokuqinisekile ingenye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokwenza umshado usebenze.