-Delile
- Yimuphi Unyaka Womshado Osehlukaniso Ovame Kakhulu?
- Yimiphi Iminyaka Yomshado Osehlukaniso Esincane Kakhulu?
- Izizathu Ezijwayelekile Zokuthi Imishado Ingaphumeleli
- 1. Izizathu zezezimali
- 2. Izinhlelo Ezihlukile Zesikhathi Esizayo
- 3. Ukungathembeki
- 4. Inkathazo nabasekhweni (noma amanye amalungu omndeni)
- 5. Ukulahleka Kokuxhuma
- Yiziphi izici ezihlotshaniswa nengozi ephezulu yesehlukaniso?
- Umshado wokuqala noma wobuntwana
- Ukukhulelwa kwasekuqaleni
- Izinkinga zocansi zomlingani
- Ukuhlukunyezwa ekhaya
- Imiphumela engokomzwelo yesehlukaniso sabazali
- Izibalo Ezihehayo Zesehlukaniso
- Okufanele ukwenze uma unomshado onenkinga
Noma ngabe usanda kushada noma ugubha i-Diamond Anniversary yakho, abantu bangashintsha indlela abazizwa ngayo ngomunye nomunye. Ngeshwa, noma ngabe kuyinqubo ehamba kancane yokuphuma othandweni noma ushintsho olungazelelwe lwenhliziyo olususelwa esenzakalweni esingalindelekile, kungadala ukuthi umshado obubukeka uzimisele ukusinda esivivinyweni sesikhathi uchitheke ngokushesha.
Ucwaningo lwakamuva lukhombisile ukuthi e-US, cishe ama-50% emishado yokuqala iyahluleka, cishe ama-60% emishado yesibili, kanye ne-73% yemishado yesithathu!
Ngenkathi imishado (kanye nobudlelwano, ngokujwayelekile) kungalindelekile, futhi okuhlangenwe nakho umngane wakho noma ilunga lomndeni abhekene nakho kungahluka kakhulu kunokwakho, izibalo zisengakhomba ezikhathini ezithile ezingaba yiminyaka enzima kakhulu yomshado, ngokuzimisela okuphakeme yesehlukaniso.
Ake sibheke ukuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu, iminyaka emaphakathi yomshado, bese sithinta izizathu zokuthi kungani umshado ungachitheka, kanye nezibalo ezimbalwa zesehlukaniso ezithokozisayo.
Yimuphi Unyaka Womshado Osehlukaniso Ovame Kakhulu?
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kwenziwa izifundo eziningi zesayensi ezungeze ukuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu nezikhathi zemishado, ngokujwayelekile.
Ngakho-ke, imishado eminingi yehluleka nini? Yimuphi unyaka ovame kakhulu wokuhlukanisa?
Yize bengavamisile ukunikela ngemiphumela efanayo, kuvame ukuvezwa ukuthi kunezikhathi ezimbili ngesikhathi somshado lapho izehlukaniso zenzeka ngesilinganiso esikhulu- phakathi neminyaka emibili yokuqala yomshado naphakathi konyaka wesihlanu kuya kwesishiyagalombili womshado.
Ngisho nakulezi zikhathi ezimbili ezinobungozi obukhulu, kuyaqondakala ukuthi iminyaka eyingozi kakhulu emshadweni ojwayelekile yiminyaka eyisikhombisa nesishiyagalombili.
Ngenkathi idatha ingakhanyisa ukuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu, kanye neminyaka eyingozi kakhulu emshadweni, kungenza okuncane ukukuchaza ngani lobu ubude besilinganiso somshado ngaphambi kwesehlukaniso.
Yize izizathu zokudivosa kwabashadikazi zikhulu, kuye kwafundwa ngaphambili. Ngisho nokwandiswa yifilimu lika-Marilyn Monroe lowe-1950, iThe Seven Year Itch, abesilisa nabesifazane badlula entshisakalweni ebucayi ebudlelwaneni obuzinikele ngemuva kweminyaka eyisikhombisa yomshado.
Ngenkathi ukungangabazeki “kokulunywa kweminyaka eyisikhombisa” ngokungangabazeki kungavunyelwe, kubonakala kuyimfundiso ethokozisayo evame ukuqiniswa yimininingwane yangempela yokuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu.
Kusikisela ukuthi ubude obuphakathi komshado wokuqala ophela ngesehlukaniso bunamahloni nje weminyaka eyisishiyagalombili futhi cishe kuyiminyaka eyisikhombisa yemishado yesibili.
Yimiphi Iminyaka Yomshado Osehlukaniso Esincane Kakhulu?
Kuyathakazelisa ukuphawula ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile enobuhlobo obusinda ekulunyazweni kweminyaka eyisikhombisa ijwayele ukujabulela isikhathi esiyiminyaka ecishe ibe yisikhombisa ngesilinganiso sedivosi esingaphansi kwesilinganiso.
Ngenkathi imininingwane isho ngokusobala ukuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu, futhi kunenkolelo yokuthi isikhathi, esisukela onyakeni wesishiyagalolunye kuya kowe-15 womshado, sinikeza imvamisa ephansi yesehlukaniso ngezizathu eziningana.
Kubandakanya ukwaneliseka okuthuthukile ngobudlelwano, njengoba sebekhululeka ngokwengeziwe ngemisebenzi yabo, indlu, nezingane.
Hhayi ngengozi, izinga lesehlukaniso liqala ukwehla unyaka nonyaka, kuqala ngonyaka weshumi. Kungenzeka ukuthi okulindelwe okungokoqobo kobuhlobo obutholakala kuphela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nangesipiliyoni sosizo kuleli zinga eliphansi lesehlukaniso.
Cishe unyaka weshumi nanhlanu womshado, amazinga ezehlukaniso ayayeka ukwehla bese eqala ukukhuphuka, futhi ahlala enjalo isikhathi eside, kusikisela ukuthi le nkathi ebonwa ngokuthi “iholide lesibili lomshado” (iminyaka yomshado eyishumi kuya kweyishumi nanhlanu) ayihlali unomphela.
Izifundo ezishiwo ngenhla zisho ukuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu neminyaka okufakazelwa ngayo isehlukaniso esincane. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela izinto ezahlukahlukene ezenza imishado ihluleke. Ake sibheke:
Izizathu Ezijwayelekile Zokuthi Imishado Ingaphumeleli
1. Izizathu zezezimali
Sonke siyasazi lesisho esithi, “Imali iyimpande yabo bonke ububi,” futhi ngokudabukisayo, iyasebenza nasekhaya.
Noma ngabe kungumndeni ohola imali ephansi ulwela ukuthi izokhokhwa kanjani izikweletu, noma umndeni osezingeni eliphakathi uzama ukugcina ukubonakala ngemuva kokuthi umondli elahlekelwe ngumholo, ingcindezi yezezimali kanye nezikweletu kungabeka ubunzima obungenakunqobeka emibhangqwaneni eminingi eshadile .
Lokhu kumenyezelwe ikakhulukazi ngonyaka we-2020 ngokuwohloka komnotho okubangelwe yiCoronavirus, kanye nokudilizwa kwabantu abaningi, ukuqhuma kwemigwaqo nokuvalwa kwamabhizinisi ngenxa yayo.
Njengoba izigidi zemindeni manje zibhekene nosongo lokudliwa impahla, ukuxoshwa, nabakweletwayo abazama ukuqoqa ezikweletini, le mithwalo ibhubhisa izinkulungwane zemishado eyake yaba mnandi.
2. Izinhlelo Ezihlukile Zesikhathi Esizayo
Cishe akekho umuntu ofanayo eneminyaka engama-40 ubudala njengoba babeneminyaka engama-30 noma engama-20, njll. Wonke umuntu unezinhloso nezinhlelo ezehlukene ngekusasa futhi.
Kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuthi owesilisa nowesifazane abathandana eminyakeni engamashumi amabili futhi bashada bobabili bakhula bekhula baba ngabantu abahluke kakhulu abanezifiso ezihluke kakhulu, noma nje ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa.
Uma lokhu kwenzeka, ubudlelwano obujabulile phambilini bungaphela ngokuphelele kuze kube isehlukaniso ukuphela kwesisombululo.
Kungaba nezimo lapho owesifazane efuna ukuba nezingane eziningi, futhi umyeni wakhe anqume ukuthi akazifuni nhlobo izingane. Noma mhlawumbe owesilisa uthola ukunikezwa umsebenzi ngakolunye uhlangothi lwezwe, futhi umkakhe akafuni ukushiya idolobha abakulo.
Imibono ehlukene ngekusasa phakathi kwabashadile ingasho ukuphela komshado.
3. Ukungathembeki
Ezweni eliphelele, yonke imishado ibizoba ne-monogamous eyodwa (ngaphandle kwemibhangqwana evumelana ngokuhlanganyela ukufaka abantu bangaphandle kulokho abakuthandayo), futhi abekho abayeni noma abafazi abangaba yizisulu "zeso elizulazulayo".
Ngeshwa, abanye abantu bavumela izifiso zabo zenkanuko ukuba zibanqobe, futhi ukungathembeki phakathi kwabantu abashadile akuvamile. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lwakamuva lwemibhangqwana yaseMelika lukhombisa ukuthi ama-20% kuya kuma-40% wabesilisa abashadile abesilisa nabesilisa abesilisa nabesifazane kanye no-20% kuya ku-25% wabesifazane abashadile abathandana nabobulili obufanayo bazozibandakanya ocansini ngaphandle kwempilo ngesikhathi sokuphila kwabo.
4. Inkathazo nabasekhweni (noma amanye amalungu omndeni)
Lapho wenza isinqumo sokushada, kufanele wazi ukuthi awutholi nje umlingani. Uthola wonke umndeni wesibili. Uma ungazwani nomndeni womlingani wakho, kungadala amakhanda amaningi kubo bonke abathintekayo.
Uma izixazululo noma ukuyekethisa kungatholakali, futhi ubudlelwano phakathi kwakho nelungu elilodwa (noma eliningi) lamalungu omndeni womlingani wakho, noma ubudlelwano phakathi koshade naye nelungu lomndeni wakho bufana nobuthi obungenakuguqulwa, obungaqeda ubudlelwano yiba ukuphela kwekhambi langempela.
5. Ukulahleka Kokuxhuma
Ngokungafani nemibhangqwana ekhula ngokwehlukana ngenxa yezinhlelo ezahlukahlukene zesikhathi esizayo, kwesinye isikhathi akuhlali kunesizathu esithile, esisodwa esingaholela ekutheni abashadile bathandane futhi bagcine behlukene.
Iqiniso elibuhlungu ukuthi empeleni akubona bonke ubudlelwano obuhloselwe ukuma isikhathi, futhi abantu ababili ababejwayele ukukhathalelana kakhulu bangaluzwa kancane kancane luthando luphuma ezinhliziyweni zabo.
Izinto umlingani wakho abekade ezenza obucabanga ukuthi zizinhle manje seziyacasula, futhi abantu ababili abebengakaze bafune ukuphuma kulokho okubonwa omunye nomunye manje sebengasakwazi ukulala embhedeni owodwa.
Ukulahleka kokuxhumeka kungenzeka ngokushesha, kepha ngokujwayelekile, kwenzeka kancane kancane ngokuhamba kweminyaka. Kodwa-ke, iyaziveza; imvamisa kusho inhlekelele emshadweni.
Kule vidiyo engezansi, uSharon Pope uchaza izingqinamba zomshado onqanyuliwe futhi unikeza namathiphu wokuwulungisa. Uchaza ukunqanyulwa ngeke kuxazululwe ngomlingo. Lo mbhangqwana kuzodingeka uphikise izinkolelo zawo futhi wenze izinguquko ngokufanele.
Yiziphi izici ezihlotshaniswa nengozi ephezulu yesehlukaniso?
Umbono wesikhathi eside wedivosi uphazamiseka ngezinto ezithile eziholela emshadweni omangazayo. Izithandani azigcini ngokuwela ngaphansi kwesambulela sokungasathandani, kepha futhi zibhekana nengozi enkulu yesehlukaniso.
Ezinye zezinto ezibeka imibhangqwana emathubeni aphezulu edivosi yilezi:
Kukhona ingozi yokungqubuzana uma kukhulunywa ngomshado wokuqala. Njengoba izithandani zikhula, izingxabano nokwehlukana kuyakhula, okuholela ekushodeni kwenhlonipho nokwehluleka ukuzijabulisa ndawonye.
Ukukhulelwa kusenesikhathi nakho kuyisici esibalulekile sesehlukaniso. Lokhu kubulala isibopho lo mbhangqwana owawungakhula ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, imibhangqwana inamathuba ambalwa okuqonda okuhle, ikakhulukazi uma ingasebenzi ngokucophelela kulesi sici.
Kakhulukazi, lapho izidingo zocansi zomlingani oyedwa zingeneliseki emshadweni, kwandisa amathuba edivosi njengoba ukusondelana, okuyisici esibalulekile somshado, kungagcwaliseki.
Noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba alwamukelwa emshadweni. Futhi uma omunye umlingani efuna ukubenza futhi abethule, kuyinto ebalulekile ekufuneni isehlukaniso.
Abantu abaningi abakwazi ukwamukela ukuhlukumezeka kokubona abazali babo behlukene, okuvame ukubonakala ebudlelwaneni babo. Lokhu kubangela ukunganaki, futhi abakwazi ukuphatha ubudlelwano babo.
Izibalo Ezihehayo Zesehlukaniso
Sivele sixoxe ngezibalo eziningana kule bhulogi mayelana namaphesenti ezinga lesehlukaniso, kanye nezinsuku lapho ukuchithwa komshado kuyinto ejwayelekile futhi engandile kakhulu, kepha ake sibheke nezibalo eziningi zokuphila komshado ezithakazelisayo, futhi mhlawumbe ezimangazayo.
- Iminyaka evame kakhulu yemibhangqwana ehlukanisayo ineminyaka engama-30 ubudala
- E-US kuphela, kunesehlukaniso esisodwa cishe njalo ngemizuzwana engama-36
- Abantu balinda isilinganiso seminyaka emithathu ngemuva kwesehlukaniso ngaphambi kokuphinda bashade
- U-6% wemibhangqwana ehlukanisile ugcina ushada futhi
Bewazi ukuthi imishado ihlala isikhathi esingakanani ezifundeni ezahlukahlukene nokuthi imaphi amaphesenti emishado ahlulekayo?
Amazwe anezibalo eziphakeme kakhulu zesehlukaniso afaka phakathi: i-Arkansas, i-Nevada, i-Oklahoma, i-Wyoming, ne-Alaska, kanti izifundazwe ezinamanani aphansi ehlukaniso zihlanganisa: Iowa, Illinois, Massachusetts, Texas, ne Maryland.
Lapho isehlukaniso sihlolwa esifundeni, kubonakala sengathi inani lesehlukaniso ngonyaka womshado liphezulu kakhulu eNingizimu, lapho abesilisa abayi-10.2 nabesifazane abangu-11.1 kubantu abayi-1 000 behlukanisa minyaka yonke, futhi bephansi kakhulu eNyakatho-mpumalanga ye-US, lapho abesilisa abangu-7.2 nabesifazane abangu-7.5 kubantu abayi-1 000 bahlukanisa minyaka yonke.
Okufanele ukwenze uma unomshado onenkinga
Ngemuva kokuqonda ukuthi yimuphi unyaka womshado isehlukaniso esivame kakhulu, kubalulekile ukuthatha izinyathelo zokwakha isisekelo esiqinile. Ukuze usindise umshado ezandleni zokuhlukanisa, thatha lezi zinyathelo ezilandelayo:
- Yamukela izinqumo nemizwa yomlingani wakho
- Sungula ukuxhumana okuqinile
- Prakthiza ukwethembeka ebudlelwaneni
- Gwema ukucabanga
- Setha imithetho emisha yobudlelwano
Kungakhathalekile ukuthi uhlala kuphi noma uneminyaka emingaki ushadile, manje njengoba usuyazi kahle iminyaka yomshado lapho isehlukaniso singenzeka khona, wena noshade naye ningasebenza kanzima kakhulu ngalezo zikhathi ezingaba nzima ukuxhumana nomunye futhi ufake ngempela umsebenzi wokwakha nokugcina umshado onempilo impilo yonke.