-Delile
- Yini i-narcissist?
- Kuyini ukukhanyisa igesi?
- Izithunzi zokukhanyisa igesi
- Ngabe abakwa-narcissists bayazi ukuthi bakhanyisa igesi?
- Ngibhekana kanjani nokukhanyiswa ngophethiloli komlingani wami?
Ngabe ushade nomuntu othanda izidakamizwa? Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho uyisidlwangudlwangu? Ingabe ukhathazekile ngokuthola ukukhanya kwegesi?
Nazi izincazelo zale migomo nezindlela ongazithatha ukugwema ukukhohlisa
Yini i-narcissist?
I-narcissist yisimo sengqondo lapho abagulayo benomqondo ongamanga, ogcwele umoya wokubaluleka nokubaluleka kwabo. Ngokuhambisana nalokhu, bafuna ukunakwa ngokweqile nokubabazeka, futhi bakhulise ukungabi naluzwela kwabanye.
I-narcissism inzima ngokweqile ukuxilonga futhi ihlukane nokuzethemba okuphezulu nobumnandi. Ngenxa yalokhu, abaningi bazongena ebudlelwaneni nabakwa-narcissists bengazi ngesimo sabo sengqondo kuze kubonakale izimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, okungaba izinyanga kamuva.
Ungamangala ukuthola ukuthi cishe amadoda angama-7.7% no-4.8% wabesifazane bathuthukisa i-NPD ngesikhathi sokuphila kwabo, ngokusho kocwaningo olwenziwe yiNational Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Futhi lokhu kuziphatha kubangelwa ukusetshenziswa okuvelele kwezokuxhumana, ikakhulukazi ukuthumela izithombe nama-selfies kuholela ekwandeni okulandelayo kwe-narcissism.
Uma ushade nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa, ukuhlukanisa izindlela zakho kuzoba yinkohliso impela. Kepha ngaphambi kokuvakashela ummeli wedivosi, qiniseka ukuthi ushade nalowo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, zimbalwa izeluleko zokuhlukanisa ubuntu obunokuphikisana okukhulu.
Bheka izimpawu ezikhanyayo oshade nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe futhi uthole izindlela zokushiya i-narcissist.
Kunezici ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile zama-narcissists kanye nama-gaslighters akhombisa ukuthi awukho umehluko omkhulu phakathi kwalokhu okubili. Eqinisweni, ama-sociopaths nama-narcissists basebenzisa amaqhinga okukhanyisa igesi ukuze banqobe abalingani babo futhi babasebenzise.
Uma ushade ne-narcissist, khona-ke kungenzeka ube yisisulu sokukhanyiswa kwegesi kungekudala noma kamuva. Kepha uzibona kanjani izimpawu zokuthi uyisisulu sokukhanyiswa ngegesi? Ngaphambi kwalokho, kubalulekile ukufunda izinto ezimbalwa mayelana nokukhanyisa ngegesi uqobo.
Kuyini ukukhanyisa igesi?
Ukukhanyiswa kwegesi kuyindlela eyinhloko yokuhlukumezeka kwengqondo okwenziwa ngumuntu othanda izidakamizwa.
Kubandakanya ukuxhaphaza omunye umuntu ngokumenza abuze ukuthi uphilile yini futhi ngenxa yalokho athole amandla phezu kwabo. Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kungenziwa kancane futhi kwenzeka isikhathi eside ngakho isisulu asikwazi ukukhohlisa.
Kunemibala ehlukahlukene yokukhanyisa igesi futhi uma ushade nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangabezane nezici zayo ezimbili noma ezimbili.
Izithunzi zokukhanyisa igesi
UDkt Robin Stern, umbhali wencwadi, 'I-Gaslighting Effect', uthe "Umphumela we-Gaslight ubangelwa ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu ababili: ugesi, odinga ukuba neqiniso ukuze alondoloze imizwa yakhe uqobo, kanye nomuzwa wokuba namandla emhlabeni; kanye nophethiloli, ovumela umshayeli wephethiloli ukuthi achaze {umuzwa wakhe weqiniso ngoba umcabanga kahle futhi ufuna ukwamukelwa nguye. ”
Ngaphezu kwalokho, iNational Center On Domestic Violence And The Domestic Violence Hotline ithe, “Iningi labasindile ababike ukuthi abalingani babo ababahlukumezayo babe negalelo elibonakalayo ebunzimeni bempilo yengqondo noma ekusebenziseni kwabo izinto nabo bathi abalingani babo basabise ngokusebenzisa ubunzima noma ukusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa ngokumelene nabo neziphathimandla ezibalulekile, njengabachwepheshe bezomthetho noma abanakekela izingane, ukuze babavimbe ekutholeni ilungelo lokugcina izingane noma ezinye izinto abazifunayo noma abazidingayo. ”
Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kudala ukungabaza kanye ne-dissonance yokuqonda.
Ngakho-ke, uma ushade ne-narcissist, kungenzeka ukuthi ubone amaphethini wokuziphatha alandelayo kumlingani wakho.
- Abakhanyisi begesi balinganisa ubuciko bokuphika ngokusobala, uma bebuzwa ngezenzo zabo njengokungathembeki
- Ukuhlazeka okucashile nokungasebenzi ngokomzwelo kuyizikhali ezisetshenziswa abakhanyisi begesi ukuvala abalingani babo phansi futhi ziphikise ngamandla izinsolo zabo
- Gwema ukuphendula ngezenzo zabo ngokudicilela phansi abalingani babo, futhi
- Esimweni esibi kakhulu, abakwaGesi bayakwazi ukushayela abalingani babo ukuba bazibulale
Ukuphulukiswa ekukhanyisweni kwegesi akulula futhi kunamaqhinga athile wokufeza umsebenzi onamandla kangaka.
Ngabe abakwa-narcissists bayazi ukuthi bakhanyisa igesi?
Uma ubona iphethini yokuhlukumeza ukukhanyisa igesi, kepha ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi abazi, akusho ukuthi kufanele ubekezelele.
Uma ubona izimpawu ezicashile zokukhanya kwegesi lapho uxabana nomlingani wakho, kufanele uvuleke, ubafundise ukukhanyisa uphethiloli bese ubatshela ukuthi kukwenza uzizwe kanjani. Uma bekuqonda abakwenzayo, banamathuluzi okwenza ushintsho.
Kodwa-ke, uma uhlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okuhlelekile, kufanele ubonane nomeluleki wemishado bese uzibonela ukuthi lokhu kungaxazululwa noma kushiywe ebudlelwaneni, ikakhulukazi uma bulimaza impilo yakho yengqondo.
Ngibhekana kanjani nokukhanyiswa ngophethiloli komlingani wami?
Uma ukhanyiswa nguphathina uphethiloli, kuvame ukuzuzisa ukubeka ibanga phakathi kwakho nokukhohlisa kwengqondo abakudalayo.
Thatha uhambo nabangane noma uchithe isikhathi nomndeni futhi ngokuthatha isikhathi esithile ukucabanga, ungacabanga ukuthi uzimisele yini ukusebenza nomlingani wakho ukumisa ukukhanyiswa kwegesi nokuvimbela okunye ukuhlukunyezwa okungokomzwelo.
Uma kunjalo, khuthaza umlingani wakho ukuthi afune ukwelashwa. AbakwaNarcissist akunakwenzeka ukuthi bashintshe imikhuba yabo uma bemane babuzwa, bazodinga ukwelashwa okunamandla ukuze bashintshe.
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokumisa ukuhlukunyezwa okungokomzwelo ukubona iqiniso lokuthi uyasetshenziswa. Kepha uma usuzibonile izimpawu, ungenzi lutho, sekuyisikhathi sokuthatha isinyathelo ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho kepha okubaluleke kakhulu, impilo yakho yengqondo.