-Delile
Kunezinhlobo eziningi zobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle. Ezinhlotsheni zobudlelwano ezizimele, indlela ejwayelekile yokuziphatha engatholwa isicupho esigwema ukukhathazeka. USherry Gaba uchaza leli phethini ngokuningiliziwe encwadini yakhe, iThe Marriage and Relationship Junkie, futhi uma usulwazi ugibe, kulula ukubona.
Amandla
Amandla wesicupho esigwema ukukhathazeka anjenge-push and pull mechanism. Lezi zombili izitayela zokunamathisela, futhi zisekugcineni okuphambene kobubanzi komunye nomunye.
Umlingani okhathazekile ebudlelwaneni uya komunye umuntu. Bangumlingani ofuna ukunakwa, odinga ukusondelana futhi azizwe ukuthi kungokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba kuphela lapho lo muntu ezizwa anelisekile futhi anelisekile ebudlelwaneni.
Umgwebi, njengoba igama lisho, ufuna ukusuka lapho ezizwa esongelwa ukuminyana noma ukuqhutshwa ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kuyasabisa, futhi kubonakala sengathi kulaba bantu bayakhungathekiswa, balayishwe ngokweqile futhi badliwe ngumuntu okhathazekile.
Bazizwa belahlekelwe ngumqondo wabo wokuzimela, ukuzimela kwabo, kanye nokuzazi kwabo njengoba umlingani okhathazekile efuna ukusondela njalo.
Iphethini
Izimpawu ongazibheka ukuze ubone ukuthi usemgibeni wokugwema ukukhathazeka zihlanganisa:
- Izingxabano ngalutho - lapho umlingani okhathazekile engakwazi ukuthola uthando nokusondelana abakufisayo noma ezwe ukuthi okugwema ukuhamba, bakhetha ukulwa ukuze bathole ukunakwa abakufisayo.
- Azikho izixazululo - hhayi kuphela ukuthi kunezimpikiswano eziningi ezinkulu ngezinto ezincane, kepha azikaze zibe khona izixazululo. Ukubhekana nenkinga yangempela, ubudlelwano nokuzizwa kukhungathekile, abukho esimeni sokugwema. Abafuni ukuzibandakanya ekuxazululeni inkinga njengoba inkinga, emehlweni abo, ingomunye umuntu.
- Isikhathi esithe xaxa sodwa - ovikelayo uvame ukudala izimpi ukuze akwazi ukusunduzela kude. Njengoba umlingani okhathazekile eba nemizwa futhi eba nentshisekelo yokulungisa ubudlelwano, ovikelayo uyaqala ukuzibandakanya futhi aqhelelene kakhulu, baze bakwazi ukuhamba bathole ukuzimela abakufisayo.
- Ukuzisola - ngemuva kokuqhuma ngamazwi kanye namaqabunga okugwema, ukukhathazeka, okungenzeka ukuthi kushiwo izinto ezinonya nezilimazayo, ngokushesha bekuzwa ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani bese kuqala ukucabanga ngazo zonke izizathu abazidingayo zokuhlala ndawonye. Ngasikhathi sinye, umgweme ugxila kulezo zinto ezimbi, eziqinisa imizwa yokudinga ukuba kude nomunye umuntu.
Ngesinye isikhathi, okungathatha amahora noma izinsuku noma ngisho nangaphezulu, kukhona ukubuyisana. Kodwa-ke, ukuvikela sekuvele kukude kakhulu, okusheshe kubangele umlingani okhathazekile ukuthi aphindele umjikelezo, ngaleyo ndlela kwakheke isicupho esivikela ukukhathazeka.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umjikelezo uba mude, futhi ukubuyisana kuba kufushane esikhathini esiphelele.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi kushicilelo lwango-2009 kwi-Psychological Science olwenziwe ngu-JA Simpson nabanye, isifundo sathola ukuthi zombili lezi zinhlobo zokunamathiselwa zinezindlela ezihluke kakhulu zokukhumbula ukungqubuzana, ngazo zombili lezi zinhlobo zikhumbula indlela eziziphethe kahle ngayo ngemuva kwengxabano ngokuya ngalokho ebikudinga ubuhlobo.