-Delile
- 1. Ukuqonda imingcele yakho
- 2. Ukungazibophezeli komunye nomunye
- 3. Ukukhula ngokuhlukana
- 4. Ukuhlola ukwethenjwa
Ukuqonda ukuthi kufanele uhlukane nini emshadweni akusona isinqumo esilula. Uma ubhekene nesinqumo sokuhlukana futhi isimo sakho asiqhutshwa yisimo esiyingozi noma esihlukumezayo, ungagibela kakhulu isinqumo sakho.
Wazi kanjani ukuthi ukwehlukana kuyinto efanele ukwenziwa? Kuthiwani uma isinqumo sokwehlukana emshadweni kuyisinqumo sokuxhamazela - ukuthi uma sithathwa singonakalisa amandla akho eminyaka eminingi ejabulisayo yomshado nomlingani wakho wamanje?
Wazi kanjani ukuthi kufanele nihlukane nini emshadweni? Umbuzo obalulekile okufanele uwubuze. Ukukusiza ngesinqumo sakho, sibhale amaphuzu ambalwa okufanele uwacabangele ukuze ukwazi ukunquma ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokunamathela noma sokujija.
1. Ukuqonda imingcele yakho
Sonke sinemingcele; ziyadingeka empilweni ukuze sikwazi ukwakha umuzwa wokuphepha emhlabeni futhi ukuze sifunde indlela yokuxhumana nabanye. Eminye imingcele izobonakala kithina, kepha eminye imingcele ihlala ilahlekile kithi ngoba ihlala ekuqapheleni kwethu okungazi lutho futhi itholakala kuphela emaphethini nasezinqumweni zethu.
Ukuthi sinemingcele akusho ukuthi kuhlala kunengqondo futhi kungakhethi. Sakha imingcele ngokungazi, ngokususelwa kokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu empilweni, noma siseyingane. Eminye imingcele ayihlali ikusiza kahle ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi emshadweni, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kungani oshade naye ephikisana nemingcele yakho, nokuthi yini engemuva kwalowo mngcele ukuze wazi ukuthi ngabe owakwakho odinga ukushintsha, noma wena.
Uma umngcele wakho wakhelwe phezu komqondo nobulungiswa futhi ungumngcele ofanele (isibonelo somngcele onengqondo ukulindela ukuthi kukhulunywe ngawo ngenhlonipho nangomusa) futhi oshade naye aqhubeke nokuwucindezela lowo mkhawulo, ungazithola usuthatha isinqumo sokuthi uzohlukanisa nini emshadweni. Kepha uma unomngcele ongenangqondo (isb., Oshade naye akakwazi ukubheka omunye umuntu wobulili obuhlukile umzuzwana owodwa noma nhlobo), bese uzithola uwubuza umshado wakho ngenxa yalokhu, ngakho-ke lokhu kufanele ukunake.
Ngaphambi kokuthatha isinqumo sokuhlukana emshadweni, zinike isikhathi sokuhlola ukuthi imingcele yakho iyafaneleka yini, futhi uma ingenjalo, sekuyisikhathi sokuxoxa ngalezi zinkinga nowakwakho nokufuna usizo lokuxazulula izizathu zalezo zimo.
Uma ukwazi ukuqonda ukuthi imingcele yakho ikuphi futhi ungachitha isikhathi esithile ubheka ukuthi uyakhe kanjani le mingcele uzoqala ukuthola ukucaciseleka mayelana nokuthi yini ekuqhubela emshadweni ongenayo injabulo nemibono yokwehlukana. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi ufinyelele endaweni lapho uqinisekiswa khona ukuthi izinqubo zakho zokwenza izinqumo zilinganisiwe futhi zihambelana nezinhloso zakho empilweni. Futhi kwezinye izimo, lokhu kungaba yizo zonke izidingo zomshado wakho.
2. Ukungazibophezeli komunye nomunye
Uma omunye womlingani engaboni ukuthi bazibophezele kumlingani wakhe wamanje impilo yakhe yonke noma ngabe ezinye izinkinga zakho zomshado zixazululiwe, futhi azikho ezinye izinto ezinomthelela kulo muzwa, khona-ke ukwazi ukuthi kufanele bahlukane nini emshadweni kuba lula kakhulu. Ngaphandle kokuzibophezela okuvela kuzo zombili izinhlangothi, kungenzeka ukuthi umshado wakho uzohlala emadwaleni sonke isikhathi senu ndawonye. Ngakho-ke kunengqondo ukukhululeka.
3. Ukukhula ngokuhlukana
Ibanga phakathi kwabantu abashadile liyinkinga ejwayelekile imishado eminingi ehlangabezana nayo ngezikhathi ezithile. Imibhangqwana eminingi ingabuye ibuye ndawonye emva kwesikhathi sebanga ukusuka komunye nomunye; kepha kwezinye izimo, uma kungaphathwa ibanga, kungaholela ezinkingeni ezinkulu zomshado okungaholela embuzweni ongenakugwemeka wokuthi ngabe yisikhathi sokwehlukana yini emshadweni.
Ukuntuleka kokusondelana, noma ukuntuleka kwezinhloso ezabiwe, noma ukuntuleka kokuzibophezela komunye nomunye kuyizinkomba ohlukane ngazo. Kwesinye isikhathi abantu bahlala ndawonye yize bethandana ngokungeyikho. Kepha kwezinye izimo, kunezinhloso ezingekho kahle nje, iziphazamiso, ukuxhumana okungafanele nokungaqondani okwenza ukuthi umbhangqwana uhlukane. Zonke lezi zimo zimane nje zidinga ukuthi kuhlolwe, kuhlolwe kabusha futhi kubuyiswane ukuze nikwazi, njengabashadikazi, nizixazulule ekuxakanisekeni kwempilo futhi niqondane othandweni enabelana ngalo, ukuzibophezela kanye nenhloso yenu ehlanganyelwe yokugcina umshado wenu.
Konke okudingekayo ukwazi ukuthi uhlukane nini emshadweni kulesi simo ukwazi ukuthi uhlezi kuluphi uhlangothi locingo. Ingabe uyahlukana phakathi kwezinkinga ezinkulu noma umane nje wakha izinkinga ezincane? Ukuze asebenze ngaye, bobabili abashadile kuzodingeka bathembeke. Thembeka kuwe ngokwakho ukuthi kungani ushade, kungani ufuna ukuhlala ushadile nokuthi kungani ungafuna ukwehlukana. Futhi uthembekile ngokuthi usamthanda yini oshade naye nokuthi usazinikele yini kubo. Beka eceleni noma ikuphi ukwesaba, noma intukuthelo bese ubheka umshado wakho ngokombono oqotho.
4. Ukuhlola ukwethenjwa
Indlela yokugcina yokwazi ukuthi uhlukane nini emshadweni, uma ngabe udlulise konke lokhu kuhlolwa okungenhla, futhi awubhekene nesimo esihlukumezayo zibuze lokhu. Ungamethemba oshade naye?
Ungamethemba owakwakho ukuthi aqhubeke nokukuthanda futhi azibophezele kuwe? Ukuthembeka ekuhloleni kwabo ngomshado wakho, nasekuxhumaneni kwabo nawe ukuze nikwazi ukubuya ndawonye? Ngabe ungamethemba owakwakho ukuthi azosebenzisana nani ukuze kuzuze nina nobabili?
Ukuhamba kokugcina
Uma okuthile emshadweni wakho kudinga ukuguquka ukuze kugcinwe, kufanele wazi ukuthi ungamethemba oshade naye ukuthi uzibophezele ngokugcwele ekusebenzeni nawe ekuletheni ushintsho futhi angabuyeli emaphethini amadala. Uma ungakwazi ukwethemba oshade naye noma wena uqobo lwakho ngokungabuyeli emikhubeni yakudala, kufanelekile ukuthi ucabangele ukuthi ngabe lokhu kungaba yinto ongahlala nayo unomphela, noma uma kuwukuvumelana okuningi. Futhi uma kungukuvumelana okuningi, futhi ukwethembana kungasetshenziswa, mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuya ekuhlukaneni kwesivivinyo ukubona ukuthi nobabili nihlala kude kanjani.