-Delile
- 1. Yenza umzamo nsuku zonke
- 2. Zenzeleni owenu “nina” ngaphandle kobunikazi benu njengabantu abashadile
- 3. Veza obala ngendima yakho yezocansi nezinto ozithandayo
- 4. Qiniseka ukuthi uyakuqonda okushiwo umlingani wakho "ngobudlelwano"
- 5. Sebenzela ekuthuthukiseni ukusondelana ngokomzwelo
- 6. Gcina ubudlelwane obudlule esikhathini esedlule
- 7. Vikelelanani ngokomzimba
- 8. Vikelanani ngokusemthethweni
- 9. Hlela ukuhlwa kwamasonto onke isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye
Njengomuntu ongungqingili, kungenzeka ukuthi ubungenayo ingxenye yakho yokungavunyelwa ngumphakathi kuleli zwe elibuswa ngabobulili obufanayo. Kepha ubambelele ngokuqinile kulokho okwaziyo ukuthi ubulili bakho buni, futhi manje uzithole ususebudlelwaneni obukhulu.
Ekugcineni ukhululekile esikhunjeni sakho futhi ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuthi uhlala ngokujabula uhlanganiswe ebudlelwaneni bakho bobungqingili.
Noma kunjalo, iseluleko sabathandana nabobulili obufanayo noma iseluleko sobudlelwano singaphakamisa ukuthi kufanele wazi ngezinto ezithile ezibalulekile ukuze ube nobudlelwano obujabulisayo.
Kepha, zithini lezi zeluleko zocansi nobudlelwano ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano bobulili obufanayo nobenelisayo? Nawa amathiphu angu-9 obudlelwano bemibhangqwana engqingili ukukusiza ukuba ujabulele ubudlelwano obujabulisayo nobanelisayo.
1. Yenza umzamo nsuku zonke
Uyamthanda umlingani wakho futhi ufuna ukubakhombisa nsuku zonke. Akudingi ukubonakaliswa okukhulu kwemizwa; ukubaphathela inkomishi yekhofi eshisayo eyenziwe ngendlela abayithandayo kunganele ukuthumela umyalezo wokuthi ubakhathalele.
Uma usudlulile ezinsukwini eziyinhloko, ezijabulisayo zobudlelwano bakho, ukuqhubeka nokwenza izinto ezincane, zothando komunye nomunye kuzosiza kakhulu ekuboniseni ukuthi umlingani wakho wobungqingili ubalulekile.
Lokhu kakhulu izeluleko ezibalulekile zobudlelwano bokuqala kunoma ngubani kodwa nakanjani zibalulekile ebudlelwaneni bezitabane.
2. Zenzeleni owenu “nina” ngaphandle kobunikazi benu njengabantu abashadile
Lapho abalingani bezitabane behlangana ndawonye, njengemibhangqwana eqondile, kungokwemvelo ukuzwa umuzwa wokuhlangana, isimo lapho nenza konke ndawonye. Kuyathokozisa ukuthi ekugcineni uthole umuntu "onitholayo" futhi nifuna ukuchitha isikhathi ngasinye sokuvuka nokulala ndawonye.
Kepha ubudlelwano obunempilo bezitabane budinga igumbi lokuphefumula ukugcina izinto zithakazelisa. Gwema isilingo sokubheka kumlingani wakho ukufeza zonke izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo nezengqondo.
Noma ungahle ube yinhloko phezu kwezithende othandweni, lesi seluleko sobudlelwano bezitabane sikunxenxa ukuthi uzibekele isikhathi sokugcina izintshisekelo zakho zangaphandle ezihlukile futhi uqhubeke nokuzithuthukisa.
Lapho ufika ekhaya, uzoba nokuthile okusha ongabelana ngakho, ugcine ingxoxo kanye "nenhlansi" iphila ebudlelwaneni bakho bobungqingili.
3. Veza obala ngendima yakho yezocansi nezinto ozithandayo
Ingabe uphezulu noma uphansi? Ovelele? Ukuzithoba? Qiniseka ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakwazi lokhu kwasekuqaleni.
Lokhu izeluleko zobudlelwano bobungqingili kungakusiza ungenzi iphutha lokuzenza into ongeyona, noma ongeke waba yiyo, ukuheha lo muntu onentshisekelo kuye.
4. Qiniseka ukuthi uyakuqonda okushiwo umlingani wakho "ngobudlelwano"
Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi kumasiko wezitabane, "ubudlelwano" bungasho izinto eziningi. Uma kuwena kusho ukukhetha wena wedwa, uzofuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi lokho kuyahambisana nemibono yozakwenu.
Uma nobabili nifisa ukugcina ubudlelwane buvulekile ukufaka abanye abantu, chaza ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho. Ngabe kusho ukuqhubeka nokuhlala njalo emabhaweni ezitabane?
Ungathanda inqubomgomo yokuthi “ungabuzi, ungatsheli”, noma ungadinga ukubonakala okucacile kumlingani wakho lapho bebona abanye abantu?
Noma ngabe yini eniyinqumayo ebudlelwaneni benu bobungqingili qinisekani ukuthi nobabili niyavumelana, noma intukuthelo izokwakha futhi ubudlelwano benu cishe abuzohlala isikhathi eside.
Uma wena nomlingani wakho wobudlelwano bezitabane nithathe isinqumo sokukhetha, thatha izinyathelo ukusiza lesi sinqumo sinamathele.
Ufuna ukugxila komunye nomunye futhi wakhe ubuhlobo obusemthethweni? Susa zonke lezo zinhlelo zokusebenza zokuxhumana nezitabane.
Kungase kudingeke uyeke ukuya kumigoqo yezitabane obukade uyisebenzisela ukuxhumana; thola izindawo ezintsha wena nomlingani wakho eningaya kuzo ezinakekela imibhangqwana engqingili.
Yenza konke okusemandleni ukukhuthaza ukwesekwa ukugcina izithandani zakho ziqinile, futhi ungangeni cishe noma ngokomzimba ezimeni ezizokulinga ukuthi uphambuke.
5. Sebenzela ekuthuthukiseni ukusondelana ngokomzwelo
Wena nomlingani wakho ninobulili obuhle.Kepha manje njengoba nizinikele komunye nomunye, nizofuna futhi ukusebenzela ekuqiniseni isibopho esingokomzwelo phakathi kwenu. Lokhu kusho ukufunda izitayela zokuxhumana zomunye nomunye.
Lokhu akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. Chitha isikhathi esithile embhedeni, nikhuluma nje futhi niqonde izidingo zomzwelo nezifiso zomunye nomunye.
Ngokuya ngalokhu izeluleko zobudlelwano ngemibhangqwana eyizitabane, ubudlelwano obuthembele ngokukhethekile ekuxhumaneni ngocansi akuyona leyo ezohlala isikhathi eside.
Ukuqinisa ukusondelana kwakho ngokomzwelo ngokungena kwansuku zonke kanye nesikhathi esichithwe engxoxweni ezuzisayo kuzokusiza ukuthi nihlale ndawonye ezingxabanweni ezingenakugwenywa eziqhamuka kubo bonke ubudlelwano.
6. Gcina ubudlelwane obudlule esikhathini esedlule
Manje ususebudlelwaneni obusha futhi obanelisayo. Nobabili nifuna lokhu kube yimpumelelo futhi nizimisele ukwenza umsebenzi ukuze kube ukubambisana okunempilo, okuthuthukisa impilo.
Ingxenye yalokhu isho ukudedela ubudlelwano obudlule, ikakhulukazi ubudlelwano obugcine ngenothi elibi. Yenza okudingayo ukushiya lobu buhlungu besikhathi esedlule buphume njengamanje; mhlawumbe ezinye izikhathi zokwelulekwa zingaba usizo kulokhu.
7. Vikelelanani ngokomzimba
Khumbula lokhu Iseluleko sobudlelwano be-LGBT: hlolwa, bese uqhubeka nokuhlolwa. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu uma wena nomlingani wakho ninesivumelwano sokuba nobudlelwano obuvulekile.
8. Vikelanani ngokusemthethweni
Uma usesigabeni sobudlelwano bobulili obufanayo lapho usukulungele ukubopha khona ifindo, buza nemithetho yoMbuso wakho noma yezwe lakho ukubona ukuthi umshado wezitabane uvunyelwe yini ngokusemthethweni.
Uma kungakabi semthethweni, cwaninga ukuthi ungamvikela kanjani umlingani wakho ngokusemthethweni ukuze babe namalungelo omlingani afana namandla-abameli, izinzuzo zezokwelapha, noma izinzuzo zokufa.
9. Hlela ukuhlwa kwamasonto onke isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye
Lapho usungene endaweni yakho yobudlelwano, kungaba lula ukuthathelana phansi. Ungenzi. Inombolo eyodwa yokufa ebudlelwaneni ayikunaki ukuxhumana nomunye umuntu ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani kuwe.
Hlela ubusuku bosuku isonto ngalinye, futhi ulihloniphe. Ungavumeli noma yini iphikisane nesikhathi osibekele ukuxhuma nomlingani wakho. Uma usuku lwakho, susa izikrini.
Ngena hhayi kuphela ngokuthi usuku / isonto / umsebenzi wabo uhamba kanjani kodwa ubone ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini okuhlobene nobudlelwano okudingeka ukuthi kusakazwe.
Imibhangqwana ejabulisayo yezitabane uzokutshela ukuthi into eyodwa ebalulekile abayenzayo ukugcina impilo yabo eyabiwe icebile futhi inentshisekelo ukugxila komunye nomunye ngaphandle kweziphazamiso zangaphandle okungenani kanye ngesonto.