Akuzona zonke izingcaphuno zothando eziyiqiniso. Abanye bahlwanyela imbewu yokunganeliseki noma ngisho nezehlukaniso.
‘Yisikhathi semishado lesi. Futhi uma ufana nabantu abaningi mhlawumbe uyazibuza ukuthi mingaki imibhangqwana ezohamba phansi ezokwazi ukuyenza - ikakhulukazi uma ungomunye wemibhangqwana ehamba phansi!
Njenganoma yini empilweni, izinkolelo nokulindelwe kuhlobene kakhulu nokuthi umbhangqwana uzokukwenza noma cha.
Yingakho lapho ngibona lolu hlu lwezingcaphuno zothando ngothando nomshado engangikhathazeka. Eziningi zalezi zingcaphuno zithandanisa uthando nomshado kangangokuba noma ngubani obabeka enhliziyweni uzoba nesikhathi esinzima (noma mhlawumbe esingenakwenzeka) sokugcina umshado wabo uqinile.
Ake ngikunikeze izibonelo ezimbalwa.
“Yilapho-ke wazi kahle ukuthi ukhona umuntu okuthandayo. Bathola ukuthi yini oyidingayo bese bakunika yona - ngaphandle kokuthi wena ubuze. ” U-Adriana Trigiani
OMG! Ngempela ?! Le iresiphi ephelele yenhlekelele. Imishado ithatha umsebenzi nokugcina uthando kuthatha umsebenzi. Ukukhathazeka kothando olusha kuyaphela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokulindela ukuthi oshade naye aqhubeke nokufunda ingqondo yakho futhi azi kahle ukuthi yini oyidingayo lapho uyidinga yizimpi ezinkulu kanye nemizwa ebhujisiwe.
Uthando oluhlala njalo ludinga ukuthi umbhangqwana ufunde ukukhulumisana ngazo zonke izinto - ikakhulukazi lezo zinto ebingazithanda komunye nomunye.
“Angikaze ngazi ukuthi kufanele ngikhulekele kanjani kuze kube yilapho sengazi ukuthanda.” UHenry Ward Beecher
Ngesikhathi sokuqala ngifunda lesi sicaphuno maqondana nomshado isisu sami saphenduka. Lapho omunye umlingani ekhonza omunye noma elindele ukukhonzwa, bakha ibanga elide ebudlelwaneni. Lowo okhulekelwayo ubekwa phezu kwesisekelo futhi kulindeleke ukuthi afinyelele kulokho okungelona iqiniso. Lowo okhonzayo uvame ukuzizwa engaphansi kowakwakhe. Umshado usebenza kahle kakhulu (futhi kalula kakhulu) uma uphakathi kokulingana okubili - hhayi lapho omunye umlingani ephakeme kunomunye.
“Asikho isikhathi noma indawo yothando lweqiniso. Kwenzeka ngengozi, ngokushaya kwenhliziyo, ngomzuzwana owodwa okhazimulayo, oshayayo. ” USarah Dessen
Phezulu, lesi sicaphuno sihle. Inkinga iza lapho imibhangqwana ikholelwa ukuthi le ukuphela kwendlela uthando lweqiniso oluvela ngayo noma ukuthi kufanele igcine le flash kanye ne-throb ngaphandle komzamo ezingxenyeni zabo.
Uthando lweqiniso aluhlali luphawuleka njalo lapho luvela. Uthando lweqiniso lungabonakala njengokumoyizela okuncane okuqale ebunganeni okuqhakaza kancane kancane kube ukumamatheka okukhazimulayo kwenjabulo. Ayikho imithetho yokuthi uthando lwenzeka kanjani ngakho okulindelwe ngokuthi kube nendlela eyodwa kuphela yokwazi ukuthi usemathandweni kungaholela ekuphukeni kwenhliziyo nasekulahlekelweni uthando lwempilo yakho yonke.
Ukungabikho kwakho akuzange kungifundise ukuba ngedwa, kukhombisile nje ukuthi uma sindawonye senza isithunzi esisodwa odongeni. ” UDoug Fetherling
YIKES! Ngabe ukhona omunye umuntu ozizwa eshayekile lapho efunda lokhu?
Yonke imibhangqwana enempilo idinga ukwazi ukuba nesikhathi sodwa ndawonye futhi ngokwehlukana. Kungokushada komuntu ngamunye ukuba umuntu ophelele futhi ophelele bebodwa ukuthi bakwazi ukuziletha bonke emshadweni futhi bangalindeli ukuthi omunye abaqedele (okuyinto sonke esaziyo ukuthi iyindlela yenhlekelele).
Akuzona zonke izingcaphuno zothando ngothando nomshado ezikusethela umshado onamadwala (okungenani). Abanye babo bahle futhi bakhuluma iqiniso.
“Angifuni ukuba yisithandwa somuntu. Uma othile engithanda, ngifuna bathande mina uqobo, hhayi lokho abacabanga ukuthi ngiyikho. ” UStephen Chbosky
Ukuba yi-100% kuwe ngaphandle kokufihla imaski kuyindlela eqinisekile yokwazi ukuthi uthando lwakho luyiqiniso yini. Futhi lokho kungaba yinto ekhohlisayo ikakhulukazi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngoba sonke siyashintsha futhi sikhule. Ngakho-ke inselelo ukuqhubeka nokuxhumana nokufunda ngawe nangoshade naye kuwo wonke umshado wakho.
"Umshado ophumelelayo udinga ukuthandana kaningi, ngaso sonke isikhathi nomuntu ofanayo." UMignon McLaughlin
Lesi sicaphuno sikhomba umzamo obandakanyekile ekugcineni umshado uphila. Kwesinye isikhathi ngicabanga ngakho njengokuvuka njalo ekuseni futhi ngenze isinqumo sokuthanda umyeni wami namuhla - ngisho nakulezo zinsuku lapho ngingazizwa nginothando olukhethekile khona.
Futhi leso isivivinyo somshado ngempela - ukhetha ukukwenza noma kungeke kube yinto elula kunazo zonke emhlabeni ngoba uthathe isinqumo sokuthi kufanele. Noma ngubani ongenza lolu suku nosuku uzoba nomshado ophumelelayo naphezu kwalokho izingcaphuno zothando ezingaphezulu ezingaholela ekutheni ukholwe.