Izeluleko eziyi-15 zokulinganisela umshado nokuba ngumzali

-Delile

• Ukuba nomntwana kuwuthinta kanjani umshado wakho?
• Ukulinganisela ukuba ngumzali nomshado
• Izeluleko eziyi-15 zokulinganisela umshado nokuba ngumzali
• 1. Fundisa izingane zakho inkululeko
• 2. Vumelanani ngamanani enu ayisisekelo
• 3. Xhuma nelungu ngalinye lomndeni
• 4. Ungalwi phambi kwezingane
• 5. Xoxa futhi uyeke kancane
• 6. Dala uhlelo olusebenzela wonke umuntu
• 7. Yiba yiqembu
• 8. Xhumana, xhumana, xhumana
• 9. Zibeke eqhulwini wena nomunye
• 10. Dlala nezingane zakho
• 11. Ungazizwa unecala ngokuthatha isikhathi
• 12. Sebenza kuwo nsuku zonke
• 13. Yidlani ndawonye
• 14. Yakha amasiko
• 15. Ungalokothi ulwe phambi kwezingane zakho
• Isiphetho

Bathi okuphikisana kuyaheha; uma kukhulunywa ngokulinganisa umshado nokuba ngumzali, lokho kungaba yinto enhle. Ngomlingani ngamunye eletha amakhono namathalente ahlukene etafuleni, njengezithandani, ningafunda komunye nomunye futhi nibe nokuhlangenwe nakho okucebile ndawonye.

Isibonelo, unkosikazi ophuma kakhudlwana angasiza indoda enezethulo ngokwengeziwe ukuthi iphume kakhulu, futhi indoda ehleleke kakhudlwana ingasiza unkosikazi ohleleke kancane ukuba afeze izinto eziningi. Futhi uhlu luyaqhubeka.

Ngokubambisana, indoda nomfazi bangasizana ukukhula. Yize lokhu kungaba yinto enhle emshadweni, uma kukhulunywa ngokuba ngumzali, kwesinye isikhathi ukuphikisana akuyona into enhle.

Mhlawumbe unokhahlo, futhi yena uyekelela kakhudlwana; akaguquki ngokwengeziwe, uguquguquka kalula, noma mhlawumbe abaqiniseki ukuthi ngubani oza kuqala: umlingani noma izingane.

Uma uletha abantu ababili abehlukene, abanezingane ezimbili ezingefani nezizinda ndawonye zibe izindima zokubambisana, kungadungeka.

Ngabe ukuphatha kanjani ukuba ngumzali nomshado? Uzisingatha kanjani izinkinga zokuyala? Lapho ingane yakho ithola umbhalo esikoleni, umzali ngamunye ufuna ukuyisingatha kanjani ekhaya?

Kuthiwani ngesikhathi esiningi sokubavumela ukuba basichithe ezindlini zabangani, noma isikhathi esingakanani sokubavumela basebenzise izinto zobuchwepheshe? Kuthiwani ngemisebenzi yasekhaya, noma imali noma ukusebenzisa izimoto zakho? Ngempela, kunezinto eziningi, eziningi okufanele uzicabangele.

Ukuba nomntwana kuwuthinta kanjani umshado wakho?

Ukulinganisela umshado nokuba ngumzali akuyona eyabantu abanenhliziyo encane. Ukubeka owakwakho kuqala emshadweni nokuphatha ubudlelwano bakho ngemuva kwezingane kuthatha isikhathi esiningi nokubekezela.

Asikwazi ukukhulisa izingane zethu ngendlela abazali bethu abasikhulise ngayo, futhi lokho kwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukulinganisela umshado wakho nenjabulo yokuba ngumzali, ikakhulukazi uma sichitha isikhathi sethu esiningi okungenani isigamu sehlo abancane.

Ngokuya nge-Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, izingqinamba eziyisisekelo zokungahambelani nokwehluka kwezinto ezibangela ukuba abazali kube yizizathu zemibhangqwana eminingi yokwehlukana. Kubalulekile ukuthi ungathathi kancane.

Ungalinganisa kanjani umshado nokuba ngumzali ngenkathi uthola isikhathi esanele sakho sobabili? Kulungile! Kunezindlela zokulinganisela umshado nokuba ngumzali. Ake siwaqonde, ngamunye ngamunye.

Umuntu angalinganisa umshado nokuba ngumzali kalula kepha kufanele alandele imithetho ethile ukufeza lowo msebenzi ongeke wenzeke njengochwepheshe.

Ngakho-ke umshado nezingane ungahlala kanjani ngendlela enokuzwana? Ungabenza kanjani ubudlelwano busebenze nezingane? Kungenzeka ukwenze kokubili futhi ukwenze kahle.

Ukulinganisela ukuba ngumzali nomshado

Ukulinganisa umshado nokuba umzali kudinga ukuzimisela kwakho ukusebenzela umshado wakho. Ukuhlala abathandi ngenkathi ukhulisa izingane kungabonakala kungumsebenzi onzima ngokwenzeka okuningi okuzungezile obonakala ngathi usuka kancane emshadweni wakho omnandi.

Kodwa-ke, ngendlela efanele, ukuba neqiniso nokwethembana, ungakwazi ukuphatha umshado nokuba ngumzali kalula ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana komshado wakho.

Ukushada ngemuva kwezingane kuyinto ejabulisayo ejwayelekile emibhangqwaneni eminingi. Kungenxa yokuthi imibhangqwana ijwayele ukungabunaki ubudlelwano bayo phakathi kwazo zonke izinxushunxushu zomsebenzi, umndeni, umndeni, njalonjalo.

Ngakho-ke, ungakugcina kanjani ukulinganisela phakathi komshado nokuba ngumzali? Ingabe likhona ikhambi lomshado ngemuva kwezingane noma lokuxazulula izinkinga zomshado ngemuva kwezingane?

Izeluleko eziyi-15 zokulinganisela umshado nokuba ngumzali

Amandla okushada nokuba umzali aguquka ngokuphelele. Nawa amanye amathiphu wokulinganisa umshado nokuba ngumzali ngaphandle kokuhlanya:

1. Fundisa izingane zakho inkululeko

Akuzukusiza nje kuphela ukuthi bazethembe njengoba eqala ukuzenzela ibhulakufesi lakhe, ukuhlanza igumbi labo, ngisho nokudlala yedwa, kuzonciphisa ukucindezelwa kwabazali futhi kunikeze umama nobaba isikhathi esithe xaxa nomunye.

Kungahle kubonakale kusabisa ekuqaleni kepha kukhulisa kancane kancane inani lenkululeko noma ukuzimela kwezingane zakho kuzisiza kuphela ukuthi zifunde amakhono adingekayo okudingeka uphile wedwa noma nabanye.

Umshado nokuba umzali kungaba khona ngokubambisana. Zama amathiphu angenhla; uma kusengalawuleka, thola ukwelulekwa ngokomsebenzi ukusiza icala lakho elithile.

2. Vumelanani ngamanani enu ayisisekelo

Uthando. Umndeni. Sebenza. Injabulo. Noma ngabe yiziphi izindinganiso zakho eziyinhloko maqondana nokuba ngumzali, zibhale phansi. Gcina lawo aphambi kwakho, ukuze uhlale ubuyela kuwo.

Ngiyethemba, la manani ayisisekelo azoba isisekelo esihle sokunisiza nobabili nibhekane nezindaba eziningi eziyisisekelo maqondana nokuba ngumzali; lokhu kungasiza kakhulu ekusizeni ukuthi uzuze ukulingana nokuzwana emshadweni wakho ngenkathi uhamba ngokuba ngumzali.

Khumbula ukukhulisa izingane ezijabule ngenkathi ubeka umshado wakho kuqala. Ukubeka umshado wakho kuqala noma ukubeka umlingani ngaphambi kwezingane kungabonakala kubalulekile ekulinganiseni umshado nokuba ngumzali.

3. Xhuma nelungu ngalinye lomndeni

Okungenani imizuzu engama-20 ngosuku, qiniseka uku chitha ikhwalithi wedwa isikhathi nomlingani wakho kanye nengane ngayinye. Lesi sikhathi sizosiza umuntu ngamunye ukuthi akhe ubudlelwano obuhlala njalo obuzogcina izinto zilinganisiwe ekhaya lakho.

Imikhuba oyenza nsuku zonke yenza umxhwele ezinganeni zakho. Ukuchitha isikhathi somndeni esezingeni eliphakeme kungasiza izingane zakho ukuthi zifunde isenzo sokulinganisela izinto empilweni futhi ngokusobala kukusondeza kubo.

4. Ungalwi phambi kwezingane

Kunzima impela ukungavumelani ngezinqumo zomzali lapho usesikhathini nezingane zakho khona lapho, kepha udinga ukukubeka kuqala.

Mhlawumbe indodana yakho eneminyaka engu-9 ubudala inamawala kakhulu; kuhlanyisa ubaba, futhi ufuna ukumemeza futhi amjezise ngokususa ilungelo, kepha umama uyabekezela futhi ucabanga ukuthi kufanele kujeziswe kanzima.

Esikhundleni sokukhuluma phambi kwendodana yakho, zithethelele imizuzu embalwa. Khuluma kude nendodana yakho. Vumelanani bese nixoxa ngayo nendodana yakho.

Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi ulungise ukungaboni ngaso linye kwakho futhi uphinde ube yiqembu elingaguquguquki lokukhulisa indodana yakho.

5. Xoxa futhi uyeke kancane

Uma niphikisana ngezitayela zenu zobuzali, khona-ke nobabili kufanele nidele okuncane ngemibono yenu ukuze nibe ekhasini elilodwa. Lokhu kuzodinga ukuxoxisana okuncane nokuyekethisa.

Isibonelo, uma ingane yakho eyeve eshumini nambili iyifuna ngempela i-iPhone yayo, futhi ubaba ethi cha nomama athi yebo — mhlawumbe nobabili ningaxoxa futhi nithole indlela lapho nobabili ninikela khona kancane.

Uma ukwazi ukuxoxisana ngokuthi vumela ingane yakho ukuthi ithole uma eyikhokhela yena uqobo, khona-ke uma nobabili nijabule, wonke umuntu uyawina.

6. Dala uhlelo olusebenzela wonke umuntu

Thola zonke izinto ezibalulekile ezihleliwe ezigcina wonke umuntu ejabule futhi elinganisela. Sikhuluma ngezikhathi zokulala, izikhathi zokudla, ukuphuma komndeni, ucansi — yebo, ngisho nobulili.

Lapho uletha izingane emshadweni, kufanele ube nesandla kakhulu ekusebenziseni isikhathi sakho, ngakho-ke ukuhlela kuqinisekisa ukuthi izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ziza kuqala.

7. Yiba yiqembu

Ushade ngoba nithandana. Mhlawumbe ninezinto ezingafani ngezitayela zobuzali, kodwa yazini ukuthi nobabili ninomgomo ofanayo — ukukhulisa izingane ezilunge kahle, ezijabule ekhaya elinothando.

Bazali abajabulayo, izingane ezijabule!

Qonda ukuthi ungamjabulisa kanjani oshade naye, zama ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano noshade naye, wabelane ngomthwalo njengoba ukhulisa izingane zakho, ngakho-ke akekho noyedwa ozizwa sengathi uzenza yedwa.

Buka ukuthi ochwepheshe bathini:

8. Xhumana, xhumana, xhumana

Singahle sizwakale ngathi siyaziphinda, kepha ukufunda indlela yokukhulumisana kahle ngokungangabazeki kungenye yamakhono obudlelwano obaluleke kakhulu ongawathola ukukusiza ukugcina impilo yakho yomshado nempilo yakho njengabazali.

Ngemuva kokushada isikhashana, ungathola isikhathi kuphela lapho nixabana khona lapho ukuxhumana kungasasebenzi phakathi kwenu. Udinga ukuzijwayeza amakhono akho okuxhumana - kokubili ukukhuluma nokuthi kufanele uqalise nini isihloko.

Ukugcina umshado wakho nezingane kungakhombisa ukuthi kuwumsebenzi onzima kakhulu kwabaningi. Ngokwemvelo, kunezinkinga ofisa ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho, kepha izingane zakho zifuna ukunakwa kwakho, ikakhulukazi lapho ziseyizinsana.

Kepha, ungaqali ukukhuluma ngendaba enzima ngo-3 ekuseni lapho izingane zingalali, futhi nobabili nikhathele. Lokho kuzophela lapho nobabili nicasukile futhi nilwa - hhayi ngoba nithukuthelane, kodwa ngoba nikhathele futhi nikhungathekile futhi anazi enye indlela yokuziveza.

Kuhlale kungcono kakhulu uma ungathatha isikhathi sokufunda ukuxhumana nokuxhumana, kunokuba ungamnaki umlingani wakho bese uvumela izitatimende zabo zingene endlebeni eyodwa ziphume ziye kwenye.

9. Zibeke eqhulwini wena nomunye

Ngokuba nomshado ojabulisayo nezingane, ukuzinakekela kungenye yamakhono abalulekile ozowafunda njengomlingani nomzali.

Kulula ukungazinaki uma unezingane ezincike kuwe nakumlingani wakho ofuna ukunakwa okuncane ongakakusebenzisi ezinganeni, kepha uma ufuna ukulinganisela umshado nokuba ngumzali, udinga ukufunda ukuthi ungabeka kanjani izinto eziza kuqala ngokwakho ngesikhashana.

Awudingi ukungayinaki eminye imisebenzi yakho noma abantu abasempilweni yakho. Esikhundleni salokho, kwenze iphuzu lokuthatha isikhathi sakho, noma ngabe kuyinto encane njengokuthatha imizuzu engama-20 ukuzindla noma ukuzivocavoca.

Ngasikhathi sinye, kuzodingeka futhi ufunde ukuthi ungabeka kanjani izinto eziza kuqala kuwe. Yiba nomuntu ogcina izingane futhi ahlele ubusuku bosuku kanye ngenyanga noma kanye njalo ngesonto, njengoba izimali zivumela. Uzokhathala futhi ucindezeleke, ikakhulukazi ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuqala ngemuva kokuthola umntwana omusha.

Ukwenza isikhathi sosuku lwasebusuku olujwayelekile kukunikeza ithuba lokuphumula futhi ufunde ukuthi ungabeka kanjani izinto phambili, okungaba yinselele ngabancane ekhaya.

Ukuzibeka kuqala, izingane zakho nomshado wakho akuyona imiqondo evumelanayo. Kungumsebenzi wokulinganisa, kepha kuwufanele ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

10. Dlala nezingane zakho

Kubukeka sengathi wonke umuntu unombono wokuthi kufanele uzikhulise kanjani izingane zakho. Into eyodwa sonke esingavumelana ngayo, noma kunjalo, ukuthi izingane azidlali ngaphandle njengoba sasivame ukudlala.

Ngisho nabazinkulungwane zeminyaka abakhula ngawo-1990 babenenkululeko ethe xaxa yokuhlola nokudlala - nezimbangela ezimbalwa zokuhlala endlini. Ngeshwa, lolu shintsho seluholele ekwandeni kwezingane ezihlupheka ngokweqile ebuntwaneni.

Njengamanje, izingane ezingaphezu kwezigidi eziyi-12 e-United States ziwela ngaphansi kwezigaba zabantu abakhuluphele ngokweqile.

Indlela elula yokuxazulula le nkinga, noma okungenani ukunciphisa eminye yemiphumela yayo, ukuthatha isikhathi sokudlala nezingane zakho. Phumela ngaphandle uchithe isikhathi nabo ebaleni lokudlala esikhundleni sokuhlala ebhentshini ubabuke bedlala.

Ungamangala ukuthi kumnandi kangakanani, futhi kuzokusiza ukuthi uthole i-cardio, futhi.

11. Ungazizwa unecala ngokuthatha isikhathi

Uma ungeyena umzali ophelele, ungahle ukhathazeke ukuthi abantu bakhuluma ngawe ngemuva kwakho.

Ngakho-ke uma kunjalo? Uma nje wonke umuntu ekhaya esondlekile, egqokile, futhi ejabule, ungazizwa kabi ngokubekela eceleni isikhathi sakho noma sokuba wena noshade naye niphinde nihlangane.

Ukuzinakekela akukhona ukuzicabangela wena wedwa.

Futhi, ukuzinakekela kufaka ukunakekela ubudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho noma labo onabo nezingane zakho, ngaphezu kokuzinakekela. Le yindlela ongalinganisa ngayo umshado wakho nokuba ngumzali ngasikhathi sinye.

12. Sebenza kuwo nsuku zonke

Ukuthola ibhalansi phakathi kobuzali nomshado wakho ngeke kwenzeke ngobusuku obubodwa. Akukho lutho olufanele ukufaka umzamo owake wakwenza.

Thatha isikhathi sokuzijwayeza uthole ibhalansi yakho.

Kuzofanele usebenze kuyo nsuku zonke futhi mhlawumbe uphinde ufunde amakhono ambalwa, njengokuzinakekela, ukhohliwe ekufuneni kwakho ukuba ngumzali noma umlingani ophelele. Zinakekele, unakekelane, nakho konke okunye kuzozinakekela.

13. Yidlani ndawonye

Kuyaziwa ukuthi umndeni odlayo ndawonye uhlala ndawonye. Akunandaba noma ngabe impilo yakho imatasa kangakanani, hlala phansi njalo udle ndawonye njengoba kuwumthombo wothando, ukwaneliseka, kanye nokudla okwanelisayo.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukudla kwaziwa nangokuthi kuyindlela yokuxhuma okujulile. Abantu kuthiwa bazizwa besondelene uma bedla ukudla okufanayo futhi bedla ndawonye. Lesi sikhathi somndeni esimangazayo sizokusiza futhi nonke ukuthi nikhuthaze ukuxhumana okujulile futhi nakhe ubudlelwane obuhle babazali nezingane.

14. Yakha amasiko

Yonke imindeni inamasiko athile. Imvamisa zehla zivela emindenini ehloniphekile yendoda nenkosikazi ephindaphindwayo empilweni yabo ngemuva komshado. Kodwa-ke, kufanele kube khona amasiko athile wokuma omndeni ngamunye.

Emibhangqwaneni enezingane, zama ukwakha nokuhlonipha isiko lomndeni wakho- into ongathanda ukuthi izingane zakho ziqhubeke nayo njengoba zikhula futhi ziqhubeka ezimpilweni zazo.

15. Ungalokothi ulwe phambi kwezingane zakho

Ukulwa phambi kwezingane zakho kunomthelela omubi kakhulu. Bakhula bebona abazali babo njengezinjongo zabo, futhi lapho bebabona belwa, kubafaka isibazi ngokomoya. Lokhu kuzobakhipha kude nabazali babo noma kubenze bathathe uhlangothi.

Futhi, izingane zizokhula zakha ubudlelwano obuqinile ezimpilweni zazo kuphela lapho zibona abazali bazo babelana ngesibopho esinjalo.

Isiphetho

Kuzohlala kunezikhathi ezinzima emshadweni kepha ngendlela efanele, ungalinganisa ukukhulisa ubuntombi nomshado kalula.

Lokhu ngeke kukusize nje ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano bakho noshade naye kepha kuzosiza nasekwakhiweni kobudlelwano obuqinile nobunenhlonipho nezingane zakho, zona ezizokhula zikwazi ukuzimela ebudlelwaneni bazo.