-Delile
“Imindeni ejabulayo iyafana yonke; yonke imindeni engeneme ayijabule ngendlela yayo. ” Iqala kanjalo inoveli yakudala kaLeo Tolstoy, U-Anna Karenina. UTolstoy akazange achaze kabanzi ukuthi imindeni ijabule ngokufana kanjani, ngakho-ke nginqume ukumenzela lokho, ngokususelwa ocwaningweni lwami njenge-psychoanalyst.
Nazi ke izici zami ezinhlanu imibhangqwana ejabulayo eyabelana ngazo. Ngokusobala, ukuze ube nalezi zici, womabili amalungu alo mbhangqwana kufanele abe nempilo enhle ngokomzwelo.
1. Kuhle communication
Imibhangqwana ejabulayo iyaxoxa. Bakhuluma imizwa yabo esikhundleni sokulingisa. Abaqambi amanga, abagodli, abakhohlisani, bayamangalelana, bayashayana, bayaxoshana, bakhuluma omunye komunye ngomhlane, bayazehlisana, banikezane ukuthula, uhambo lwecala, bakhohlwe usuku lwabo lokuzalwa, bathethisane , babizane ngamagama, babizane amademoni, noma benze ezinye izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokwenza izinto ezenziwa imibhangqwana engajabule.
Esikhundleni salokho, uma benenkinga bayayixoxa. Banokwethenjelwa okuyisisekelo nokuzibophezela okubavumela ukuthi bazenze babe sengozini ngokwabelana ngezinhlungu zabo futhi bazi ukuthi lezo zinhlungu zizokwamukelwa ngozwela. Ukuxhumana kwemibhangqwana engajabule kwenzelwe ukukhohlisa. Ukuxhumana kwemibhangqwana ejabulayo kunomgomo wokuxazulula izingxabano nokuvuselela ukusondelana nokusondelana. Imibhangqwana ejabulayo ayinandaba nokuthi ubani olungile noma ongalungile, njengoba ezibheka njengomzimba owodwa, futhi okubalulekile kubo ukuthi ubudlelwano babo bulungile.
2. Ukuzibophezela
Imibhangqwana ejabulayo izinikele komunye nomunye. Uma beshadile, bathatha izifungo zabo zomshado ngokungathi sína futhi bobabili bazibophezele ngokufanayo komunye nomunye ngaphandle kwe-ifs, buts, and howevers. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bashadile noma cha, banesibopho esiqinile esingaze sishintshe ngokungathi sína. Lokhu ukuzibophezela okungenakunyakaziswa okuletha ukuzinza ebudlelwaneni futhi kunikeze amalungu womabili amandla okubhekana naphezulu naphansi noma yibuphi ubuhlobo obuzodlula.
Ukuzibophezela yi-glue eqinisa ubuhlobo. Noma ibuphi ubunzima umlingani wakho abhekene nabo, ukhona. Ngeke zibe khona izahlulelo, akukho ukubekwa amacala, ngeke kusatshiswe ngokushiya noma ukuhlukanisa. Izinto ezinjalo azinakubuzwa. Ukuzibophezela kukhona njengesisekelo esihlala njalo, esiqinile esigcina ubudlelwano busendleleni.
3. Ukwamukela
Izithandani ezijabulayo zamukelana ngobunjalo bazo. Akekho umuntu ophelele futhi iningi lethu alikaphelele. Imibhangqwana ejabulayo yamukela ukungapheleli komunye nomunye ngoba bayakwazi ukwamukela ukungapheleli kwabo. Lokhu kuyisihluthulelo: ukuze wamukele abanye ngendlela abayiyona kufanele ukwazi ukuzemukela ngendlela oyiyo. Ngakho-ke uma umlingani wakho ethanda ukukhathazeka, ukuhogela, ukuququda, ukungingiza, ukukhuluma kakhulu, ukukhuluma okuncane kakhulu, noma ukufuna ukuya ocansini ngokweqile, wamukela izinto ezinjengama-idiosyncrasies, hhayi amaphutha.
Imibhangqwana engajabule icabanga ukuthi iyazamukela ngendlela eyiyo, kepha imvamisa iyaphika. Bayabona ucezwana esweni lomlingani wabo, kodwa hhayi ugongolo olwabo. Ngoba bayawaphika amaphutha abo, kwesinye isikhathi bawafaka kubalingani babo. “Akumina odala izinkinga, nguwe!” Lapho bewaphika kakhulu amaphutha abo, kulapho bebekezelela kakhulu amaphutha abalingani babo. Imibhangqwana ejabulayo iyawazi amaphutha ayo futhi iyawaxolela; yingakho bethethelela futhi bemukela amaphutha abalingani babo. Lokhu kuholela ebudlelwaneni obuhloniphanayo.
4. Ukushisekela
Imibhangqwana ejabulayo iyathandana. Ubudlelwano babo yinto ebaluleke kakhulu ezimpilweni zabo. Inkanuko yezocansi yinto engafika idlule, kepha uthando lomunye nomunye nangobudlelwano babo aluhlali lukhona. Imibhangqwana eminingi iqala ngothando phakathi nesikhathi sayo sangemva komshado, kepha lolu hlobo lwentshisekelo luyancipha kwenye indawo endleleni. Uthando nothando ngomunye nomunye, njengokushisekela umdlalo wokuzilibazisa, kuyinto ebekezelela isikhathi sesikhathi sangemva komshado.
Ukukhathazeka yilokho okunikeza ubuhlobo ubungqabavu bayo. Ukuzibophezela ngaphandle kothando kuholela ebudlelwaneni obungenalutho. Ukuzibophezela ngothando kwenza ubudlelwano obufezekile. Ukukhathazeka kubangelwa ukuxhumana okuhle. Lapho umbhangqwana wabelana ngokuthembeka futhi uxazulula izingxabano, ukusondelana nothando kuhlala kungaguquguquki. Ukukhathazeka kugcina ubuhlobo bunenjongo futhi buphila.
5. Uthando
Akunakuphikwa ukuthi umbhangqwana ojabulayo ungumbhangqwana onothando. Lokhu akusho ukuthi lo mbhangqwana uyathandana. Ukuthandana nothile kuvame ukungabi nempilo ngaphezu kwento enempilo. UShakespeare obizwa ngokuthi ukuthandana wohlobo oluthile lwenyanga. Kungumqondo ofanele, osuselwa kuzidingo zobungqingili, ongeke uhlale isikhathi eside. Uthando olunempilo yinto eyenzeka ngokuhlangana nezimpawu ezibalwe ngenhla: ukuxhumana okuhle, ukuzibophezela, ukwamukela nokuthanda.
Isipiliyoni sethu sokuqala sothando sisebudlelwaneni bethu nomama wethu. Ukwethenjwa nokuphepha asenza sizwe uthando. Uthando aludluliswa ngamazwi, kodwa ngezenzo. Ngendlela efanayo, lapho sizwa ukwethembana nokuphepha nomlingani wethu empilweni isikhathi eside, sizwa uthando oluhlala njalo. Uthando oluhlala njalo luthando olwenza impilo ikufanele ukuphila.