-Delile
- Kuyini ukukopela okuqhathaniswa nokukhohlisa okukodwa?
- Isibonelo esisodwa sokukopela siyathethelelwa
- Zama ukusindisa ubuhlobo bakho
- Kungani kumele udlulise ukukopela ukuze ulondoloze ubudlelwano bakho?
Ubanjwe umlingani wakho ekopela; wenzani manje? Ngabe uthola isehlukaniso kumlingani wakho ngokweqa umngcele oqoshwe wokuthembana? Ngabe uyahlukana nomlingani wakho ngokwenza isenzo sokukhaphela ekugcineni? Yini ngempela okufanele yenziwe uma umlingani wakho ebanjwa ekopela noma ethandana?
Yebo, lokho konke kuncike ezintweni ezimbili: wena nomlingani wakho. Ngempela. Akukho okunye okufanele kubhekane nesinqumo osithathayo maqondana nekusasa lakho njengezithandani.
Ake siqale ngawe. Isinyathelo sakho sokuqala ukuzibuza imibuzo embalwa. Okokuqala, zibuze ukuthi umthanda ngobuqotho yini umlingani wakho. Manje, ngokushesha ngemuva kokuthola ngesiqephu sokukopela, ungahle udelele wonke amasentimitha akhe. Eqinisweni, ukucabanga ngothando kungenzeka kuyinto ekude kakhulu engqondweni yakho. Kepha ngemuva kwesiphepho sokuqala sentukuthelo, ngifuna ukuthi uhlole izinga lakho lothando.
Uthando engikhuluma ngalo uthando olwazwayo ngaphambi esiqeshini sokukopela. Uma kunezinga elibonakalayo lothando, nanku umbuzo wesibili okufanele uwuphendule: Ingabe lesi yisikhathi sokuqala nokuphela kokukukhohlisa? Lo ngumbuzo obalulekile ngoba kunezinhlobo ezimbili zokukopela okudingeka sixoxe ngazo: ukukopela okulandelanayo nokukhohlisa okukodwa. Futhi ukuziphatha akwamukeleki, kepha akuzona zonke iziqephu zokukopela okufanele zigcine ngesehlukaniso. Eqinisweni, imibhangqwana eminingi ayigcini ngokusinda ngemuva kokungathembeki kodwa futhi iyalulama othandweni njengombhangqwana onamandla nozinikele ngokwengeziwe.
Kuyini ukukopela okuqhathaniswa nokukhohlisa okukodwa?
Umkhohlisi we-serial umuntu okukhohlise ngaphezu kwesikhathi esisodwa, enabesifazane abangaphezu koyedwa. Awusoze wayiphula ikhodi yomkhohlisi we-serial. Lolu hlobo lwendoda aluzethembi kangako ukuthi ukukhashelwa okulandelanayo komlingani wakhe kumnika ukuzizwa enesizotha. Okunye ukunqoba ukukopela ngandlela thile kumenza azizwe njengendoda efanelekayo futhi efunwayo. Abesifazane abakhohliswa ngumkhohlisi we-serial kumele baqaphele kakhulu ngokuhlala nomkhohlisi we-serial ngoba amathuba okuguquka kwesikhathi esizayo ekuziphatheni kwakhe mancane kakhulu.
Kodwa-ke, kukhona olunye uhlobo lomkhohlisi okudingeka sixoxe ngalo. Ngumkhohlisi okhohlise kanye. Kungaba ukuma kobusuku obubodwa, kepha kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi ukukopela kukowesifazane oyedwa isikhathi esithile. Angiluthathi lolu hlobo lokukhohlisa njengokukopela okulandelanayo. Angivumelani nanoma yiluphi uhlobo lokukopela, kepha asikwazi ukungcwaba amakhanda ethu esihlabathini futhi sicabange ukuthi konke ukukopela kufanele kuholele esahlukweni noma ekwahlukaneni. Angikholwa kwisaga esithi “Uma uke waba ngumkhohlisi, hlala ungumkhohlisi.” Izingxoxo zami nocwaningo lwami kukhombisile ukuthi lokhu akulona iqiniso.
Amadoda amaningi engixoxisane nawo avumile ukuthi phambilini bake bakhohlisa nakanye kumlingani wabo. Ngicabange ukuthi kubalulekile ukubuza ukuthi kungani bekhohlisa nezimo zokukhohlisa. Eziningi zalezi zimo, babathanda abalingani babo. Ukuntuleka kokusondelana ekhaya, kanye nothando olungasetshenziswanga, kudlale indima eyodwa kulokhu kukhashelwa. Kwezinye izimo, amadoda athile enza isinqumo esisodwa sokuwela umugqa wokwethembana emshadweni.
Isibonelo esisodwa sokukopela siyathethelelwa
Ngiyakucela ukuthi uqaphele kakhulu ngokushiya ubudlelwano bomkhohlisi wesikhathi esisodwa. Uma ukukopela kwakhe komcimbi owodwa kungeyona into ongayixolela noma uhlale nayo, lokho kuyaqondakala, futhi kufanele ukwenze okulungele wena. Noma kunjalo, ungalaleli abangane bakho. Ungalaleli osebenza nabo. Ungalaleli umndeni wakho. Lalela inhliziyo yakho, unikeze ubudlelwane bakho ithuba lokuthi welaphe futhi asebenze ngokweqa kwakhe umthetho. Uma bekuyisibonelo sokukopela somcimbi owodwa, futhi bobabili abathintekayo befuna ukonga ubudlelwano, kufanelekile ukulwelwa.
Zama ukusindisa ubuhlobo bakho
Uma uzama ukusebenza ngomcimbi wokukopela kanye nawe bobabili bafuna ubudlelwano bakho ukuze usinde futhi ululame, ukufunda ukudedela kubalulekile. Angikusikiseli ukuthi uphakamise induku bese usula ukulimala nentukuthelo ebuchosheni bakho. Asiwona amarobhothi, futhi-ke, imizwa yokulimala nokukhashelwa iluhlaza futhi ingokoqobo futhi kufanele yamukelwe. Thatha isikhathi osidingayo. Uma ufuna ukuhlala ndawonye, ukuxolelwa kufanele kwenzeke. Ngeke kwenzeke ngobusuku obubodwa, futhi kuzothatha umzamo omkhulu kubo bobabili abalingani ukuyibeka esikhathini esedlule futhi benze izinguquko ezidingekayo ukuze bakhule njengabantu abashadile.
Kungani kumele udlulise ukukopela ukuze ulondoloze ubudlelwano bakho?
Ngokuya ezingxoxweni zami, abesilisa abake bakhohlisa okukodwa kwangaphambilini bathe ukungabikho kokuvumela umcimbi uhlale esikhathini esedlule yikhona okwagcina kubuqede nya ubudlelwano. Futhi, nguwe kuphela onganquma ukuthi ukukopela kuyinto ongayixolela futhi ekugcineni ukuyifake esikhathini esedlule.
Uma ngemuva kokungathembeki ongathanda ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi uqhubekele phambili, kubalulekile ukuthi umnikeze ithuba lokufakazela ukuzinikela kwakho kuwe futhi uphinde ukwethembe. Umnyango “onomcimbi” okuwo uwukuthi ngemuva wena, vala ukhiye. Uma zombili izinhlangothi zizibophezele ekwakheni kabusha ubambiswano, ukugxila kudinga kuphela emnyango ovulekile ku ngaphambili yakho ngekusasa lakho lokuthembela nothando oluzakha kabusha.