-Delile
- Kuyini ukuba sengozini?
- Yikuphi ukuba sengozini okungekho?
- Izinzuzo zokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni
- 1. Kukhulisa amathuba okuba kuhlangatshezwane nezidingo zethu
- Kuthuthukisa ukuqonda kwethu ubuqiniso nokufaneleka
- 3. Kwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni
- 4. Kukusiza ukhethe ubuhlobo obunempilo
- 5. Kukwenza uzizwe usekelwa ngokweqiniso futhi ududuzekile
- 6. Kukuvumela uthandwe ngokweqiniso
- 7. Umphumela womuntu
- 8. Ukusondelana okwandayo
- 9. Uzwela olunamandla
- 10. Ukuzithanda okwandisiwe
- 11. Ukuzizwa sithandwa ngokweqiniso ngobuyena
- 12. Ukuba nomuntu ofanele eceleni kwethu
- 13. Kwakha ukwethembana
- 14. Kusiza ushintsho nokukhula
- 15. Ukubhekana nemizwa engemihle
- 16.Vuselela ukusondelana ngemuva kokulimala
- Ungakubonisa kanjani ukuba sengozini okukhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho?
- 1. Kalula kuwo
- 2. Qonda ukuthi kungani udinga izindonga ezingokomzwelo
- 3. Yehlisa ijubane ubheke
- 4. Yabelana ngezinkinga zakho
- 5. Veza imizwa yakho nezidingo zakho eziningi
- 6. Funa usizo
- Yamukela ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni
Ukuba sengozini kubonakala njengesithako esiyinhloko sobudlelwano obuseduze nobungapheli. Kodwa-ke, uma kukhulunywa ngokuvula, sonke sinenkinga.
Sifuna ukusondelana nokuxhumana, kepha kaningi siyesaba ukudalulwa ngokweqiniso.
Njengabantu, sikulungele kanzima ukuxhumana nabanye. Kungenzeka ngenxa yezinzuzo ezinkulu ukuxhumana nabantu okusithinta.
Isayensi iqinisekise izinzuzo eziningi ezingokwengqondo nezingokomzimba njengezinsuku zokuphila ezinde, imikhuba enempilo, imiphumela yocindezelo eyehlisiwe, kanye nenjongo yempilo.
Kodwa-ke, ngaphandle kokuthambekela kwethu ekusondeleni, sivame ukumelana nokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni.
Kwenzeka kanjani ukuba sengozini kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, futhi kungani kufanele sikufune? Iyini imiphumela yokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni?
Okokuqala, ake sichaze ukuthi yini ukuba sengozini nokuthi yini okungeyona.
Kuyini ukuba sengozini?
Ngakho-ke, kusho ukuthini ukuba sengozini?
Umnyombo wokuba sengozini ukhetha ukwaba ngemizwa noma ngezifiso nabanye ngokungakhathalekile ukuthi bangakubona kanjani noma basabele kanjani.
Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kusho ukukhetha ukudalula obala imizwa yakho futhi ngesibindi uthi "Ngiyakuthanda" kuqala. Ukukhombisa ukuba sengozini ebuhlotsheni kusho ukuveza imizwa, yize singaqiniseki ukuthi omunye uzophendula kanjani.
Ukuba sengozini kusho ukulungela ukudalulwa ukungaboni ngaso linye nabanye noma ngisho nokwaliwa. Kungakho ukuba sengozini, noma kuzwakala kulula, kufunwa kakhulu.
Umnyombo wokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni, ukuzimisela ukwamukela amathuba emiphumela emibi nokukhipha intamo yakho, yize ungeke ukwazi ukulawula umphumela.
Ngaphandle kobungozi, ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kungamandla okushayela wokuxhuma nokusondelana futhi kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo nobuhlala njalo.
Yikuphi ukuba sengozini okungekho?
Ukuba sengozini sekuyigama le-buzz futhi kuphazamiseka kaningi. Ngakho-ke, ikuphi ukuba sengozini okungekho?
Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni akusho ukweqisa futhi unikeze umuntu imininingwane eminingi yomuntu siqu.
Ukuba sengozini kusho ukuzibeka engcupheni futhi sibonise izinhlangothi ezisondelene kakhulu nathi ngenkathi siphila nengozi yokuthi bangasamukeli.
Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kusho ukuzibeka engcupheni ungahle wenqatshwe, kepha uziveze noma kunjalo. Imayelana nenhloso yokuxhumana nomunye ngokuhlanganyela izingxenye zethu ezijule kakhulu, eziyiqiniso kakhulu.
Ukweqisa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kungakhombisa ukungabi khona kwemingcele kunokuba sengozini.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuba sengozini kuvame ukuxhunyaniswa nobuthakathaka. Noma kunjalo, ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kuyisibonakaliso samandla nesibindi.
KuDaring Greatly, uBrene Brown uthi, "Khetha isibindi kunokunethezeka." Ukuba sengozini yisibindi sokubakhona futhi sivumele abanye ukuthi basibone lapho singeke silawule umphumela noma yini.
Izinzuzo zokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni
Njengoba sazi ubungozi bokuzizwa unqatshiwe noma unamahloni ukuthi ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kuthwala, kungani singakhetha ukukwamukela? Kungani ukuba sengozini kubalulekile?
Amandla okuba sengozini alele emiphumeleni enakho ebudlelwaneni bethu. Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kunezinzuzo eziningi:
1. Kukhulisa amathuba okuba kuhlangatshezwane nezidingo zethu
Uma singaba nesibindi sokucela lokho esikufunayo ngempela, singakuthola empeleni. Uma ungakaze ubuze, impendulo ithi cha.
Kuthuthukisa ukuqonda kwethu ubuqiniso nokufaneleka
Lapho uqala ukukhulumela izidingo zakho, uqala ukuzizwa ungcono ngawe. Uthumela umyalezo obalulekile kuwe, "izidingo zami zibalulekile, nami ngokunjalo."
3. Kwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni
Lapho sikhombisa uhlangothi lwethu oluthambile kithina, futhi basamukela, ukholo lwethu kubo luyakhula. Babekhona ngathi lapho sizizwa singenakho ukuzivikela.
4. Kukusiza ukhethe ubuhlobo obunempilo
Ukuvulela uzakwethu ubufakazi beqiniso bokuqina kobudlelwano. Ukuthi umlingani wakho uzokuthola kanjani okwangempela isivivinyo esibalulekile sobuhlobo.
Uma bazi noma bezimisele ukufunda ukuthi bangaba kanjani nawe ngezikhathi zokwembulwa kwakho, ubudlelwano buzokhula.
Uma lokhu kungeyona inkomishi yabo yetiye, okungenani uzokwazi ngesikhathi futhi ube nethuba lokukhetha ngokuhlukile.
5. Kukwenza uzizwe usekelwa ngokweqiniso futhi ududuzekile
Ukusondelana kungumthombo obalulekile wenduduzo nokuqagela ezweni elingalindelekile.
Singathola kuphela ukusekelwa nenduduzo uma sivulela umlingani wethu lokho esibhekene nakho.
6. Kukuvumela uthandwe ngokweqiniso
"Uma uhlala ufaka isifihla-buso eduze kwabanye, uzothola njalo lokho ongakudingi." Uma ufuna ukuzizwa wamukelwa ngokweqiniso futhi waziwa, udinga ukuveza izingxenye zakho zangaphakathi kulokho kungenzeka.
Uma uhlala ufake isudi eqinile, awusoze wazi ukuthi ungathandwa yize uzizwa ubuthakathaka.
7. Umphumela womuntu
Yize sifuna umlingani wethu abone okuhle kithi, ukuzama ukuphelela ngaso sonke isikhathi ngeke kube nomthelela omuhle ebudlelwaneni. Ngaphandle kokuvumela ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni, singabonakala sikude kakhulu, sipholile, futhi singafinyeleleki.
Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kusenza sibe ngabantu futhi kusenze sithandeke kakhulu. Ivula iminyango yokuxhuma futhi ekugcineni ibe nobudlelwano obusekelanayo.
8. Ukusondelana okwandayo
Ngemuva kokwenza izinkulungwane zezingxoxo njengengxenye yocwaningo lwakhe, uBrene Brown uthe, “Akunakubakhona ukusondelana — ukusondelana ngokomzwelo, ukusondelana okungokomoya, ukusondelana ngokomzimba — ngaphandle kobungozi.”
Ubudlelwano obuhlala njalo yilapho sizizwa sisondelene futhi simunye, futhi indlela eya kubo ingukuthamba.
9. Uzwela olunamandla
Lapho sazi ngokwengeziwe imicabango ejulile yomuntu, ukwesaba, kanye nezifiso zakhe, kulapho singaqonda khona kakhulu umbono wabo futhi sizwelane nalokhu ababhekene nakho.
Njengoba uzwela luyinto ebalulekile ekwaneliseni ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, singasho ukuthi lapho kuba sengozini kakhulu, kuzwela ngokwengeziwe, ngakho-ke, ukwaneliseka okuphezulu ngobudlelwano.
10. Ukuzithanda okwandisiwe
Lapho umlingani wethu asisekela futhi asamukela esimweni sethu esibuthakathaka futhi esibuthakathaka ezintweni esingazithandi ngathi, singaqala ukuzemukela thina njengomphumela.
Njengoba siwuhlonipha umbono wabo futhi besazisa ngalokho esiyikho, singaqala ukwamukela, noma sigweme, izingxenye zethu.
Lolo hlobo lokwazisa ngokuqinisekile luzokwandisa ukwaneliseka nokuhlala isikhathi eside kobudlelwano.
11. Ukuzizwa sithandwa ngokweqiniso ngobuyena
Uvulekele ukuthanda kangakanani, lolo thando olungelakho. Lapho uvuleka ngokwengeziwe futhi uzibeka engozini yokuvezwa, kulapho ungaqinisekiswa khona futhi ube nothando ngokwengeziwe.
Umuntu angayithanda kanjani into angakaze ayibone noma ayithole?
Ukuvumela umlingani wethu ukuthi abone izifiso ezijulile nokwesaba kungaholela ekuzizweni siqondwa ngokweqiniso futhi sithandwa. Futhi ubudlelwano baleyo mfanelo bunethuba lokuthola injabulo yempilo yonke.
12. Ukuba nomuntu ofanele eceleni kwethu
Uma ufuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi unomuntu ofanele eceleni kwakho, babonise ukuthi ungubani ngempela, futhi ubone ukuthi basabela kanjani.
Lapho bekwazi, ungatshela ukuthi ngabe kukhona uhlobo lokwamukelwa nokuxhaswa okudingayo.
Uma nobabili ningaluthola uthando eniludingayo, leyo iresiphi yobudlelwano obuhlala njalo obujabulisayo.
13. Kwakha ukwethembana
Cabanga ukwaba into oyithola ilimaza, noma unamahloni ngayo bese uthola ukwamukelwa nenduduzo?
Lapho umlingani wethu eza ngenhlonipho nangokucabangela, ukwesaba kwethu okujule kakhulu namahloni, singabathemba nakakhulu. Futhi, sonke siyazi ukuthi ukuthembana kungumgogodla wobudlelwano obuhlala njalo.
14. Kusiza ushintsho nokukhula
UBrene Brown, ku-TED Talk yakhe edumile ngamandla okuba sengozini, uthi: "Ukuba sengozini yindawo yokuzalwa yokudala, yokwenza izinto ezintsha, kanye noshintsho."
Uma sifuna ubudlelwano obuhlala njalo, kufanele sikulungele ukukhula nokushintsha ndawonye. Impilo izothumela izilingo endleleni yakho, futhi ukukhuthazela kobuhlobo bakho kuzoncika ekhonweni lenu lokuzivumelanisa nakho ndawonye.
15. Ukubhekana nemizwa engemihle
Ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni futhi kumayelana nokuveza imizwa emibi nokuphikisa.
Ukwabelana ngendlela enithonyana ngayo kungumongo wokuba sengozini nokhiye wobudlelwano obude nobunenjabulo. Ukubalekela izingxabano ngeke kusize empumelelweni yobuhlobo.
16.Vuselela ukusondelana ngemuva kokulimala
Kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, kuzoba nezikhathi lapho nilimazana khona (ngethemba bengahlosile). Ukubuyisa emuva komcimbi onjalo kungasheshiswa ngokuba sengozini.
Kunjani lokho?
Lapho sibona othile ezisola ngempela ngalokho akwenzile futhi avume ukuthi usiphathe kabi kanjani, singaqala ukuthembana futhi. Ngakho-ke, ukuba sengozini kusiza omunye umuntu abone ukwethembeka ekuxoliseni kwethu nobuhle ezinhlosweni zethu.
Ungakubonisa kanjani ukuba sengozini okukhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho?
Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungaba sengozini kangakanani ebudlelwaneni futhi ungaqiniseki ukuthi ungaqala kuphi, kunezinyathelo zokukusiza kulolu hambo.
1. Kalula kuwo
Qala ngokwenza okusemandleni akho, hhayi ngalokho ongakwazi.
Kuzwakala kulula, kepha sonke senza iphutha lokugxila engqophamlando esingakayilungeli.
Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuvula okuningi, qala ukuba sengozini kaningi. Okokuqala, ngaphakathi kwendawo yakho yokunethezeka, ukuzijwayeza ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni, ukuyigcina iphindaphindwe, nokuthuthukisa nsuku zonke.
Imingcele yendawo yakho yokunethezeka izokwanda, futhi ekugcineni, uzobe wenza izinto obungakwazanga ukuzenza ekuqaleni.
2. Qonda ukuthi kungani udinga izindonga ezingokomzwelo
Njengezingane, sifunda ngokubheka. Singacabanga ukuthi sidinga ukuzivikela, yize kungenjalo.
Yimiphi imilayezo esemqoka oyitholile mayelana nokuvuleka useyingane nasebekhulile? Yiziphi izizathu ozwa ukuthi udinga ukugwema ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni?
Ukwazi lapho ukwesaba ukuba sengozini kuvela khona kukusiza ukuthi ukuxazulule.
3. Yehlisa ijubane ubheke
Uma ujwayele ukugwema ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho, noma unomkhuba wokuyicindezela, ungalahlekelwa kalula yilokho ozizwa khona empeleni.
Zama ukubakhona kakhudlwana futhi uzibuze ngemizwa nemizwelo ohlangabezana nayo ngaleso sikhathi. Bhala, zindla, noma ukhethe ukwelashwa ukuze ukwandise ukuqonda kwakho ngempilo yakho engokomzwelo.
4. Yabelana ngezinkinga zakho
Ngenkathi ufunda ukukhululeka ngokwengeziwe, khuluma nomlingani wakho mayelana nobunzima bakho bokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni. Kuzokhulisa ukubekezela kwabo nozwela ngawe.
Noma ngabe okwamanje ongabelana ngakho ukuthi awuyena umuntu owabelana kalula, kwenze. Le yindlela yokubanikeza iwindi elincane lomhlaba wakho wangaphakathi.
5. Veza imizwa yakho nezidingo zakho eziningi
Thembeka ngemibono yakho, okufunayo, nemizwa yakho. Yabelana ngokuningi njalo. Thola iphuzu ozizwa ungaphandle kwendawo yakho yokunethezeka kepha ungazizwa uvezwe kakhulu.
Ukuba sengozini kusho ukwabelana ngendlela ozizwa ngayo ngokweqiniso, ngakho-ke zijwayeze nsuku zonke.
Amathuba ukuthi ungacabanga ngomuntu okuvulele ithuba futhi akhumbule ukuthi empeleni usabele ngomusa. Abantu baphendula ngozwela ezenzakalweni zokuba sengozini.
Unalokho engqondweni lapho uqala ukukhathazeka noma ulindele ukwenqatshwa.
6. Funa usizo
Lapho ucela usizo ngokwengeziwe, ungathola ukwesekwa okwengeziwe. Futhi lokhu kuzokushukumisela ukuthi ubuze futhi wabelane ngokwengeziwe.
Futhi, kuba lula ukuveza izinkathazo, ukungazethembi nomuntu omthandayo nokwakha ukusondelana.
Uma unenkinga, kuhlale kukhona usizo lochwepheshe futhi. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo singakusiza ukuthi uveze umsuka wokwesaba kwakho bese uqala ukuvula okuningi ukuze uzuze amazinga ezinga lokusondelana.
Yamukela ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni
Ukubaluleka kokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kuxhomeke emiphumeleni ebanayo ebudlelwaneni bethu. Ukubonisa ukuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni kusisiza sandise ukwethembana, ukusondelana, ukuzithanda, futhi sizizwe saziswa futhi saziwa.
Umuzwa wokuxhumeka okujulile nokusondelana kungenzeka kuphela uma sizimisele ukubeka engcupheni ukuvuleka nokusengozini.
Abaningi bethu banokwesaba okujulile, okuvame ukuqonda lapho bebhekene nokuba sengozini ebudlelwaneni. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungakuveza kanjani ukuba sengcupheni, akudingeki wazi zonke izimpendulo. Vele uthathe isinyathelo esisodwa ngesikhathi.
Akekho umuntu ongcono kokuthize ngobusuku obubodwa, ngakho-ke yiba nomusa kuwe futhi uvuleke ngezinkinga zakho nomlingani wakho.
Yiba nesibindi sokuziveza kancane nsuku zonke nabantu obakhathalelayo, futhi lokhu kuvuleleka kuzoqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho.