-Delile
- Ukuthinteka ngqo
- Ukuba sengozini
- Ukuzizwa ungowalapho
- Ukusuka emdlalweni womdlali oyedwa uye kwezemidlalo yeqembu
- Ukushintshwa kwezinto eziza kuqala
- Izinguquko empilweni yezocansi
Usho “yebo” esiphakamisweni somlingani wakho, futhi manje usuguqe ngamadolo amalungiselelo omshado.
Kuningi kakhulu okufanele ukunake, ukuthola indawo yokudlalela nomphathi, ukukhetha noku-oda amakhadi ezinsuku zokugcina nezimemo, ukunquma ngamamenyu, zingaki izivakashi okumelwe zimeme, futhi nembatho!
Kepha kukhona okuthile mhlawumbe okubaluleke kakhulu kunayo yonke leyo mininingwane ongacabanga ngayo: Izinguquko umshado ozoziletha empilweni yakho.
Sicele imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile ukuthi yabelane ngokubona kwayo ngokuthi umshado uzishintshe kanjani izimpilo zawo. Ake sibone ukuthi bathini.
Ukuthinteka ngqo
UVirginia, 30, usitshela ukuthi wayengalindele ushintsho olukhulu kangaka empilweni yakhe. “Phela, mina noBruce sasihlale ndawonye iminyaka embalwa ngaphambi kokubopha ifindo lomshado,” uyasitshela.
Ngokungazelelwe, ngaba nesikhumba kulo mdlalo. Lapho sasihlala ndawonye, nganginomqondo wokuthi ngingaphuma ebudlelwaneni nganoma yisiphi isikhathi ngaphandle kokulengiswa okuningi kwezinto.
Kodwa lapho sishada, konke lokho kwashintsha.
Kokubili ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo, impela! Izimpahla zethu zahlanganiswa, namagama ethu womabili manje kuma-akhawunti asebhange, imali ebanjiswayo, izihloko zemoto. Futhi besinamathele kakhulu ngokomzwelo njengendoda nenkosikazi.
Lo muzwa wokuba nesikhumba emdlalweni, ukuthi izigxobo zaziphezulu ngoba kwakukhona lokhu kuzibophezela okusemthethweni nokujulile ngokomzwelo. Futhi ngiyayithanda! ”
Ukuba sengozini
“Ukushada ngingashadile kungivumele ukuba ngibe sengozini lapho nginomkami,” kusho uBob, oneminyaka engama-42.
O, impela, ngenkathi sithandana sasikhombisa izinhlangothi zethu zangempela, ama-warts nakho konke, kepha lapho sesishadile nganginomuzwa wokuthi umkami wayengumuntu wami ophephile ngokweqiniso, umuntu phambi kwakhe engingaba kuye hhayi kuphela "onamandla mfana ”kodwa futhi — futhi lokhu bekubaluleke kakhulu kimi — khombisa ukwesaba nokukhathazeka kwami.
Ngiyazi ukuthi uzohlala enomhlane wami. Angikaze ngiyizwe le mizwa yokwethembana okuphelele ngenkathi sisathandana nje. Umshado washintsha impilo yami ngaleyo ndlela.
Ukuzizwa ungowalapho
"Ngaphuma komunye umndeni ngaya emndenini omkhulu," kusho uCharlotte, 35, wabelana nathi. “Ngesikhathi sithandana ngangazi ukuthi uRyan uvela kulo mndeni omkhulu, osondelene, wamaKatolika, kodwa angizange ngizizwe ngiyingxenye enkulu ngaleso sikhathi. Uma bengingafuni ukuya kwelinye lamadina noma amaphathi abo, bekungeyona inkinga enkulu. Sasiyisoka nentombi nje. Ngangingedwa kwengane futhi ngangingakaze ngizwe ngempela ukuthi kunjani ukuba nomkhaya omkhulu.
Lapho sishada, kwakungathi angishadi uRyan kuphela kodwa nawo wonke umndeni wakhe. Futhi bangithatha kwangathi ngingomunye wezihlobo zabo. Kwakumangalisa ukuzwa lo mqondo womphakathi. Ngizizwa ngibusisekile ngokuthi abantu abaningi kakhulu bangisekele. Lo muzwa wokuba yilungu waba ushintsho olukhulu lapho ngishada ngingashadile. ”
Ukusuka emdlalweni womdlali oyedwa uye kwezemidlalo yeqembu
URichard, oneminyaka engama-54 ubudala, uchaza ushintsho lwakhe olukhulu njengokuthi "ukusuka emdlalweni owodwa womdlali kuya kwezemidlalo yeqembu". Uthi: “Ngangizimele. “Ngangicabanga ukuthi ukuba ngumuntu okhululekile kwakuyinto enkulu kunazo zonke emhlabeni. Akekho umuntu okufanele ngibike kuye, ngangingenza ngiphume ngaphandle kokuphendula.
Ngibe sengihlangana futhi sathandana noBelinda futhi konke lokho kwashintsha. Lapho sishada, ngabona ukuthi manje sase sibambisene, sobabili, futhi ngawuthanda lowo muzwa wokuthi angingedwa.
Abanye abafana bakhala ngokuthi 'unkosikazi uyibhola neketango ezungeze iqakala labo', kepha kimi, kuphambene. Lo mbono wokuthi sobabili siyingxenye yeqembu, kimi, ushintsho olukhulu kakhulu lapho ngishada, futhi ungijabulisa kakhulu. ”
Ukushintshwa kwezinto eziza kuqala
UWalter, 39, usitshela ukuthi izinto ebeziza kuqala kuye zashintsha kakhulu ngenkathi eshada. “Phambilini bengigxile kakhulu ekukhuleni kwami kwezobuchwepheshe. Ngisebenze amahora amade ngokumangazayo, ngamukela ukudluliselwa kwemisebenzi uma kusho imali ethe xaxa nesikhundla esiphakeme, futhi nganikela ngempilo yami enkampanini.
Kodwa lapho ngishada, konke lokho kwabonakala kungabalulekile kangako.
Umshado wawusho ukuthi kwakungasekho okwami kuphela, kepha kwakungathi.
Ngakho-ke manje, zonke izinqumo zami zobuchwepheshe zenziwa nomkami, futhi sibheka okulungele umndeni. Angisawubeki eqhulwini umsebenzi wami. Izinto engizibeka phambili ekhaya, nomlingani wami kanye nezingane zami. Futhi bengingeke ngibe nayo ngenye indlela. ”
Izinguquko empilweni yezocansi
“Uyazi ukuthi yini ngempela eyashintsha lapho ngishada?” Kubuza uRachel, 27. “Impilo yami yocansi! Njengendoda engashadile, angikaze ngizizwe ngiphephe ngokwanele nabalingani bami ukuba sikhululeke futhi sijabulele izinto zasekamelweni.
Ngangizenyeza futhi ngikhathazekile ngokuthi isoka lami kungenzeka ukuthi licabangani. Kepha ucansi olushadile luhluke ngokuphelele.
Usondelana nomuntu omthanda ngokweqiniso futhi umethembe ngokweqiniso.
Lokhu kungivumela ukuthi ngivulele abanye okuhlangenwe nakho okusha, ngiphakamise izinto ezintsha ezimnandi engizizama, futhi ngingesabi ukuthi uzongicabanga kabi. Impela, asizikhuzi ngesikhathi sephathi siyokwenza ucansi ekamelweni lezivakashi, kepha sichitha amahora amaningi sisembhedeni ngezimpelasonto ukuthola nje ukuthi bungakanani ubumnandi obukhona ebulilini obushadile.
Ngeke ngiyekele lokho ngokuphila kwami kocansi engakashadi ngayo yonke imali esemhlabeni! ”