-Delile
- 1. Ukuqiniswa
- 2. Ukusetshenziswa
- 3. Hhayi kakhulu
- 4. Izinkolelo zobulili kanye nezinzalamizi
- 5. Ubuwula bobuntwana
Abesilisa bazizwa sengathi bakhelwe ukuphatha futhi lapho benikela ngenzuzo yabo enkulu kwabesifazane abambalwa abakhethiwe, balindela ukubongwa okuningi. Lapho lokhu kubonga kunganikwa bona isithombe sesilisa esiziqhenya ngabo la madoda siyaphihlazeka, okwenza amadoda azonde zonke izehlakalo zokwaliwa.
Njengabafana, ukwaliwa ukwehluleka kobudoda babo futhi lapho lokhu kwenzeka, amadoda ajwayele ukuba nolaka futhi aqubule umcindezeli. Lapho owesifazane elahla owesilisa, uzizwa engabalulekile futhi engathandwa. Kuqala ukuba nobuntu ngoba abesilisa bavame ukukholelwa ukuthi banqatshiwe ngenxa yokungafaneleki kwabo, kodwa-ke, inzondo amadoda ayizwayo ngokwenqatshwa ayisekelwe ngokuphelele ekuvikelekeni kwabo.
Ezinye izizathu zokuthi kungani amadoda ezonda ukwaliwa zichazwe ngezansi. Qhubeka ufunde ukuze uthole.
1. Ukuqiniswa
Amadoda ayakuzonda ukwenqatshwa ngoba kungaqondakali ngokweqile futhi kunzima ukukucubungula ngenxa yokuthi konke okuholele kulesi sinqumo kuphakamise okunye.
Abanye besifazane ngokungazi bahola abafana ngokubanikeza izimpendulo eziyela ngasocansini, kanye nama-innuendos angabenza bazizwe sengathi wonke amakhadi asetafuleni futhi ukubabuza kuyisinyathelo esisemthethweni okufanele basithathe. Kodwa-ke, lapho bezwa impendulo ethi "Ngiyaxolisa, angiboni lutho ngaphezu kwabangane" nakanjani bazocasuka okubenza basabele ngolaka.
Ukuthola okugoqene kanjena kungaba nzima kakhulu kwabanye abafana ukuthi babhekane nakho futhi lokhu kubangele ukuthi baphendule ngokuthatheka, ngentukuthelo nangamagama ahlambalazayo.
2. Ukusetshenziswa
Abafana bavame ukuthatha ukwenqatshwa kabi kabi uma bezwa sengathi basetshenziswe ngowesifazane abambona njengentombi engaba khona. Lo muzwa wokusetshenziswa ujwayelekile ngendlela emangalisayo uma intombazane iqhubeka nokwamukela izexwayiso zemali, izipho nezinye izinto ezibizayo izinyanga bese iyaqhubeka ithi cha lapho umfana ethatha isinyathelo sokuqalisa ubudlelwano bothando. Lesi isenzo esingalungile esenziwe ngabesifazane ngoba babanika umqondo wokuba nabo, bayamvumela umfana ukuthi asebenzise isikhathi sakhe, imali nomzamo kubo futhi bavele bathi cha ekugcineni.
Abesifazane, ngakolunye uhlangothi, kufanele bazame ukwenza imingcele yabo icace bha ukuthi babubona kanjani ubudlelwano nabesilisa futhi kufanele bagweme ukulahlekelwa umoya wabo opholile nokuhlambalaza abesifazane.
3. Hhayi kakhulu
Lapho izinhloso zokuqala zowesilisa zokukhuluma nentombazane kungukudlala nje, sondelana futhi uqhubeke lapho, kwenza kube lula kakhulu ngaye ukuthi asho udoti ebusweni bakhe futhi amthuke lapho egcina ethi cha.
Uma konke afuna ukukwenza ukusondelana nokudlula lapho-ke ngeke abe nenhlonipho yokuba mubi ngokumangazayo lapho enqatshwa; kwazise akasenakho okulahlekile. Kodwa-ke, ngokuphambene nalokho, uma indoda ibona owesifazane njengomlingani wesikhathi eside futhi ezimisele ukuzibophezela lapho-ke akasoze asho noma enze noma yini engavala konke okungenzeka; noma emala kabili noma kathathu.
4. Izinkolelo zobulili kanye nezinzalamizi
Njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, kwabanye besilisa ukutshelwa ukuthi “cha” ngowesifazane akuhloniphi ubudoda babo. Lokhu kubenza babuze imibuzo enjengokuthi “Ungalokotha kanjani ungilahle?” "Ngabe ufuna ukushada nensizwa nhlobo?" “Ungakhathazeki, qhubeka usilahle bafana abalungileyo uzobola endlini yabazali bakho ungashadile, umubi futhi umdala.”
Lokhu kungazwakala kuyisiphukuphuku, kepha yile ndlela abanye abantu abacabanga futhi basabele ngayo lapho ubudoda babo busengozini futhi bubekwa emgqeni.
Kodwa-ke, emadodeni anjalo ngaphandle, kuwubuntwana futhi kuyingcosana ukusabela kanjena lapho intombazane ikulahla ngendlela enesizotha nenenhlonipho.
5. Ubuwula bobuntwana
Esinye sezizathu ezinkulu zokuthi kungani amadoda engakwazi ukuphatha ukwenqatshwa kungenxa yezenzo nemicabango yabo engavuthiwe. Indoda evuthiwe iyakwazi ukuqonda nokuqonda iqiniso lokuthi ukwaliwa akusho ukuthi ukuphela komhlaba.
Indoda evuthiwe izosebenza ngokufanele, futhi ikwamukele ngesizotha ukwenqatshwa ngoba iyazi ukuthi kunezinhlanzi eziningi ezikhona olwandle futhi izothola eyodwa emfunayo. Indoda evuthiwe ngeke ikuthathe lokhu ukwenqatshwa njengokuhlambalaza ubudoda bayo futhi, empeleni, izokwenza njengomnumzane.
Ngumuntu wesilisa kuphela ozosebenza ngendlela enobugovu nenhlamba futhi uzozama konke okusemandleni ukushisa intombazane ngayo ebegeza ngezipho nje ngesonto eledlule ngamazwi aqatha ngokweqile.