-Delile
- Ziyini izinselelo zobudlelwano bezinkolo?
- Ukuzizwa unecala nokwehlukana
- Ukwakha ukusondelana
- Ubunikazi obufakwe ebucayini
- Amaphutha emshadweni wakho wezinkolo ezihlukene
- Izindlela eziyi-15 zokwenza ubudlelwano bezinkolo busebenze
- 1. Bhekana nezinkinga
- 2. Yabelana ngomlando wakho
- 3. Thola ibhalansi ebudlelwaneni
- 4. Yeka ukuzama ukuguqula umlingani wakho
- 5. Lalelani omunye nomunye
- 6. Zifundise
- 7. Xoxani ngekusasa lenu ndawonye
- 8. Zama ukuhlala uvumelana nezimo
- 9. Khulisa ukukholwa kwakho
- 10. Yiba necebo lokungezwani kwenu
- 11. Cabanga ngokwelulekwa emshadweni
- 12. Nquma amasiko enkolo ezinganeni zakho
- 13. Banikeze isikhala
- 14. Xoxa ngezenkolo nezingane
- 15. Xhumana nemindeni
- Isiphetho
Ubudlelwano bezinkolo bunzima kakhulu kunalezo ezinezizinda ezifanayo.
Izimfanelo eziyinhloko ezake zakudonsela kubo ekugcineni ziba imbangela enkulu yobunzima. Yize ubudlelwano bezinkolo ezithile bungaba yinkohliso kweminye imibhangqwana, kungaba nzima ukwamukela iqiniso lokuthi umlingani wakho akalandeli izinkolelo ezifanayo nezakho.
Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi imishado yezinkolo ezihlukene iyasebenza?
Uma ukukholwa bekuyingxenye ephambili yempilo yakho, uzodinga ukuxhumana okusobala nomzamo wokwenza ubudlelwane bakho bezinkolo busebenze.
Ubudlelwano obuningi nezinkolo ezahlukahlukene busebenza ngoba omunye wabalingani akayena owenkolo noma akanandaba nakho. UKaty Ramdya, umbhali wamaHindu ozinze eLondon, uchaza isimo sabo somhlaba njengesisekelo somshado wabo ophumelelayo nomyeni ongumSulumane.
Imishado ephumelelayo yokuxuba izinkolo idinga ukuxhumana okukhulu nomlingani wakho maqondana nemithelela yenkolo ebudlelwaneni. Kumele nisebenzisane ukubhekana nezinselelo zobudlelwano bezinkolo.
Ziyini izinselelo zobudlelwano bezinkolo?
Inani elandayo lobudlelwano nezinkolo ezahlukahlukene liyakuqinisekisa ukuthi ubudlelwano bezenkolo bungaphumelela. Ngokuholwa ngendlela efanele nokusekelwa ngochwepheshe, imibhangqwana exubene nezinkolo ingajabulela ubudlelwano obuhle. Kodwa-ke, ukungabikho kokwelulekwa nokuxhaswa okufanele kungaba yinselele kwabashadile.
Ezinye zezinselelo ezivame ukubhekana nemibhangqwana exubanisa izinkolo yilezi:
NgokukaJudith Wallerstein, ukwehlukana ngokomzwelo kombhangqwana osemusha emndenini wawo kusebenza njengesisekelo somshado ophumelelayo wokuxuba izinkolo.
Kodwa-ke, ukuntuleka kokwesekwa okuvela emindenini yomibili kuzogcwalisa ubudlelwano ngezingxabano, ukungaqondi, ukungqubuzana okungapheli, kanye nemiphumela emibi. Lobu butha bungadala imizwa yecala ngalo mbhangqwana osemusha, kanye nokuhlukana ngokweqile okungokomzwelo.
Ukufeza ukusondelana okujulile kusebenza njengesici somshado. Kuwukuzibophezela okukhulu phakathi kwabalingani bomshado abajabulayo.
Kodwa-ke, ukufeza lokhu kusondelana ebuhlotsheni bezinkolo kungaba yinselele enkulu futhi kuyethusa. Lapho imibhangqwana evela ezinkolelweni ezahlukahlukene zenkolo ihlangana, kunezizathu ezimbalwa ezivamile kanye nethuba eliphakeme lemizwa engenazwela, edidekile, nengaqondakali kahle.
Iningi lemibhangqwana exubanisa izinkolo idlula esigabeni esiyinselele lapho izwa sengathi ilahle ubuqiniso bayo benkolo. Azisangenelani. Lokhu kungaholela ekwehlukaneni okungapheli phakathi kwemibhangqwana yezinkolo ezahlukene.
Amaphutha emshadweni wakho wezinkolo ezihlukene
Lapho sikhuluma ngomshado wezinkolo ezihlukene, kuza nezimo eziyinselele. Kufanele siwaqaphele amaphutha ajwayelekile futhi siwagwebe zisencane emishadweni ehlobene nenkolo.
Sihlanganise amaphutha ajwayelekile kakhulu womshado wezinkolo ezingezansi:
- Ungalokothi uzibe ukungafani kwakho ngokwenkolo. Ukuziba izinkolelo zakho ngeke kwenze lutho ebudlelwaneni. Kunalokho thola indlela yokuqonda izizathu ezivamile.
- Ngokubheka lokho, inhlangano yenkolo ayibalulekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
- Ukukholelwa ukuhlekisa kungaxazulula konke ukwehluka ngokwenkolo ebudlelwaneni.
- Ukuba nomqondo wokuthi "uthando kunqoba konke" futhi ucabange ukuthi zonke izinkinga zakho kuzophela ngokungazinaki.
- Ukunqamula izibopho nemindeni yabazali ngeke kusize emshadweni ophumelelayo wokuxuba izinkolo.
- Ukuguqula inkolo ngeke kuxazulule zonke izinkinga zomshado wezinkolo ezihlukene.
- Ukukholelwa ukuthi umshado wakho awusoze wabhekana nanoma iyiphi inkinga.
- Ukuziba ukukhathazeka komndeni ngokukhetha umshado wokuxuba izinkolo.
Izindlela eziyi-15 zokwenza ubudlelwano bezinkolo busebenze
Sihlanganise lezi zindlela eziyi-15 zokwenza ubudlelwano bakho bezinkolo ezihlukile busebenze:
1. Bhekana nezinkinga
Imibhangqwana eminingi yezinkolo ezingafani iyaliziba iqiniso lokuthi ivela ezizindeni ezahlukahlukene. Isidingo ukuvula nokuthola umehluko oyisisekelo ebudlelwaneni.
Akukona ngokukhetha eyodwa phakathi kothando nenkolo; kodwa-ke, ukukhetha indawo esivumelana ngayo ngoba lo mehluko uzohlala, noma esikhathini esizayo. Imibhangqwana ivame ukwenza imicabango engafanele mayelana nezinkolelo nezinkolelo zomlingani wazo. Kuhle ngaso sonke isikhathi ukwamukela lolu daba, uze ngaphambili ukhulume ngalo.
Khumbula, ukumane ugweme inkinga ngeke kuxazulule impikiswano.
2. Yabelana ngomlando wakho
Kuhle njalo ukuxoxa ngesizinda senkolo nomlingani wakho. Ukuba nesinqumo esivamile ngomshado kunikeza ithuba lokuthuthukisa ukuqonda okungcono komshado ophumelelayo wokuxuba izinkolo.
3. Thola ibhalansi ebudlelwaneni
Yize kungaba yinselelo ukuphatha izinkolelo ezahlukahlukene ngasikhathi sinye, ukuqonda imingcele enempilo kungasiza ekusebenzeni kwezinto. Imibhangqwana enezinkolelo ezahlukahlukene zenkolo ithola izizathu ezithile zokulinganisela ubudlelwano bazo. Inikeza inhlonipho emangalisayo nokuncoma umlingani wakho.
4. Yeka ukuzama ukuguqula umlingani wakho
Kumele uyeke ukucabanga ngokuguqula inkolo yomlingani wakho. Hlonipha uthando nenkolo yakho. Kufanele ube nokwazisa ngemvelaphi nobuntu babo. Ungagxeki ukholo nemikhuba yenkolo yomlingani wakho.
Khumbula, izinkolelo zabo ziyingxenye ebalulekile yempilo yabo, futhi akufanele kube nguwe onquma ngempilo yabo. Ukubanika isikhala nenkululeko kuzokwenza ubudlelwane bakho bezenkolo buqine.
Bemukele ngobunjalo babo ngaphandle kokugcina ithemba eliphakeme lokuwaguqula.
5. Lalelani omunye nomunye
Umehluko wenkolo ebudlelwaneni bezenkolo ungalimaza kwesinye isikhathi. Zivimbela abantu ukuthi bajabulele ingqikithi yangempela yothando ebudlelwaneni. Naka umlingani wakho futhi uthathe isikhathi sokubonga ubukhona babo empilweni yakho.
Susa konke ukuphazamiseka futhi uchithe isikhathi sekhwalithi nabo. Uthando ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngemvelaphi yabo.
6. Zifundise
Ukusungula ubudlelwano benkolo ngokufunda izinkolelo zomlingani wakho kukhombisa ukuzinikela kwakho nokuhlonipha kwakho. Ungababuza imibuzo ukuze uthuthukise ukuqonda kwakho ukholo lwabo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungafunda izincwadi futhi uxhumane nezinye izinsiza zemfundo ukuthuthukisa ukuqonda okujulile ngemvelaphi yabo yenkolo. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ungahlala ucela izincomo zabo ukukhulisa ukuqonda okungcono kwezinkolelo zabo.
Kwividiyo ye-TEDx engezansi, uJessica Jackley noReza Aslan, umbhangqwana ohlanganisa izinkolo ezithile, baxoxa ngendlela ababheka ngayo ukuhlonipha izinkolo ezahlukahlukene. Kuhlole:
7. Xoxani ngekusasa lenu ndawonye
Khuluma ngokulindele kwakho kulobu budlelwane benkolo.
Kuhle njalo ukuxhumana nemibuzo enjengokuthi, "Ikusasa lethu libukeka kanjani?" “Liyini isu lakho lokwenza umshado wezinkolo ezihlukene usebenze?” “Sizoyigubha kanjani imikhosi ehlukene yenkolo?”
8. Zama ukuhlala uvumelana nezimo
Esinye sezeluleko ezibaluleke kakhulu zobudlelwano bezinkolo ukuguquguquka nomlingani wakho. Ngenkathi nibeka phambili umshado wenu, nobabili kufanele nikulungele ukuvumelana phakathi kobudlelwano.
Bamba iqhaza emisebenzini yezenkolo yomlingani wakho. Basize bazi ukuthi unendaba nakho konke okuphathelene nenjabulo yabo. Ungakwazi ukugubha ngamaholide enkolo ndawonye ekhaya.
9. Khulisa ukukholwa kwakho
Khuluma ngezintshisekelo zenkolo zomlingani wakho futhi ubasize babone ukukhula kwenkolo nawe.
Ungabashukumisela ukuba benze izilungiselelo ezikhethekile zemikhuba yenkolo. Kufanele kube umkhuba ohlangene ukutadisha nokwenza imithandazo yenkolo ndawonye. Isibonelo, yithi imithandazo yakho ngaphambi kokudla ingenza izimangaliso ngothando nenkolo yakho.
10. Yiba necebo lokungezwani kwenu
Akulula ukuhlala nezinkolo ezahlukahlukene ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa futhi ungabi nokwehluka noma izimpikiswano.
Woza necebo lokubhekana nokungalingani okuqhubekayo nokwehluka ebudlelwaneni bezenkolo. Lo mehluko ngeke uzixazulule ngokwawo. Udinga ukuwalungisa ngesisombululo esithembekile.
11. Cabanga ngokwelulekwa emshadweni
Kwemibhangqwana exubene nezinkolo, ukubamba iqhaza ekwelulekeni ngomshado kuyindlela ephelele yokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana nokufunda amasu ahlukahlukene okubhekana nalesi simo esingqubuzanayo.
Khumbula, ukwelulekwa emshadweni akukhona okwezithandani ezibhekene nezinkinga kuphela. Ingadlala indima enkulu ekwakhiweni kobudlelwano nezinkolo ezahlukahlukene ngenkathi igwema izingqinamba ezingaba khona ezizayo. Ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kungasiza imibhangqwana ebudlelwaneni bezenkolo ukuba ijabulele ubudlelwano obuqinile, obunempilo nobuhle.
Buza ukuthi ziyini izinkolelo zakho futhi ufuna ukuzenza kanjani?
Khuluma ngezinkolelo zakho nemibono yakho ngokuhamba noma ukwakha umndeni ndawonye.
12. Nquma amasiko enkolo ezinganeni zakho
Ukukhuluma nokuza namasiko enkolo ezinganeni zakho zesikhathi esizayo yimibuzo ekhohlisayo. Ingashesha isuke “ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo” iye “ebudlelwaneni nasenkolweni.” Imishado ekholwayo iba nzima kakhulu ngemuva kokuthola lolu daba olubucayi.
Kufanele kube ingxoxo ehloniphanayo nenomusa. Kungcono ukhulume ngokushesha futhi ube nombono ofanayo kunokuxoxa ngakho kamuva empilweni.
Ngenkathi abanye bekhetha isiko elilodwa lezingane zabo, eminye imibhangqwana exubanisa izinkolo inquma ukulandela amasiko kuzo zombili izinkolo zawo. Noma yini eniyinqumayo ebudlelwaneni, ungakhohlwa ukuba nomusa komunye nomunye.
13. Banikeze isikhala
Cabanga ngokunikeza umlingani wakho isikhala esincane bese niyekethise lapho kudingeka. Ungenza ubudlelwano bakho bezinkolo busebenze ngomzamo ohleliwe. Umshado ophumelelayo wokuxubanisa izinkolo udinga ukuvumelana kanye nokuzikhandla.
14. Xoxa ngezenkolo nezingane
Kumaphakathi ukuba nengxoxo evulekile yenkolo nezingane zakho. Nobabili kufanele nikwazi ukuchazela izingane zenu izinkolelo zenu. Ingxoxo eyakhayo ngaphandle kokwehlisa inkolo yomunye umuntu njalo iyindlela efanele.
Ngaphandle kwezinkolo ezahlukahlukene ebudlelwaneni, izingane zakho kufanele zihloniphe futhi zivume kuzo zombili lezi zinkolo.
15. Xhumana nemindeni
Ingabe iyasebenza imishado yezinkolo ezahlukahlukene? Yisiphi isithako esiyinhloko sokumisa ukuzwana emshadweni?
Kulula kakhulu ukusungula ukuzwana emshadweni ngokubandakanyeka kwemindeni yomibili. Ungachaza izinkolelo zakho kubasekhweni lakho bese ucela umlingani wakho ukuthi enze okufanayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, cabanga ukubamema futhi ubafake emkhosini wamaholide akho enkolo.
Isiphetho
Lezi izindlela ezi-15 ezahlukahlukene zokwenza ubudlelwane bakho bezinkolo busebenze. Imibhangqwana enezizinda ezingafani zenkolo ingalandela le mihlahlandlela eshiwo ngenhla futhi ivimbe ngempumelelo igebe emshadweni wezinkolo ezihlukene ngokwakha isisekelo esiqinile ekuqondaneni nasekuhloniphaneni.
Kufanele uthande umlingani wakho ngaphandle kokukhathazeka noma ungabazi ngemvelaphi yabo yezenkolo.