-Delile
- 1. Thembeka kuwe uqobo
- 2. Thembeka kumlingani wakho
- 3. Vuma amaphutha akho
- 4. Thola futhi udlulise izidingo zakho
- 5. Funda isitayela sobudlelwano komunye nomunye nolimi lothando
- 6. Funda ukuxhumana okunempilo
- 7. Buza imibuzo efanele
- 8. Zinikeni isikhathi sokuba nobabili
- 9. Zama okusha
- 10. Ungazami ukumshintsha
- 11. Bheka umelaphi wezobudlelwano
Ingabe wena nomkakho nikhuluma ngokuhlukana? Noma mhlawumbe ucabanga ngakho, kepha awukamtsheli okwamanje. Isinqumo sokwehlukana nonkosikazi siyesabisa - kepha futhi kungazizwa njengokhetho kuphela. Wazi kanjani ukuthi ukwahlukana kungumbono omuhle?
Yiziphi izimpawu ezikhombisa ngokusobala ukuthi yisikhathi sokwehlukana?
Kwezinye izimo, umshado usuqhubekile impela, futhi impela, ezimweni zokuhlukunyezwa, kuyadingeka ukuthi usuke.
Futhi, lapho kukhona ukukhishwa kwengqondo, kwengqondo, noma kwezezimali kumuntu othile ebudlelwaneni futhi kungekho thuba elizoshintsha, khona-ke impendulo yombuzo othi, "Ngabe ukwahlukana kuwulungele umshado?" ilele ekuvumeni.
Noma kunjalo, eminye imishado ingasindiswa, ngezinguquko ezimbalwa ezilula nokuzibophezela okuqinile ekusebenzeni ngokubambisana ekulungiseni ubudlelwano nokunqoba intukuthelo.
Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokuthi uzibuze ukuthi ungahlukana kanjani nomlingani wakho, noma kufanele nihlukane nini, kungafaneleka kakhulu ukuzibuza ukuthi, "Ngabe ukwahlukana kuhle emshadweni?", "Ngabe ukwahlukana kuyasebenza ukusindisa umshado?".
Noma ngabe unkosikazi wakho ufuna ukwehlukana, noma njengendoda ocabanga ukuthi “Ngifanele ngihlukane nonkosikazi wami?”, Zama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani izingqinamba zenzeka kubambiswano lwakho lomshado, futhi uma kunesizathu sangempela, esisemthethweni sokwehlukana.
Uma ucabanga ukuhlukana nonkosikazi wakho uye phambili uyohlala njengabantu abashadile abahlukene, zama lezi zinto eziyi-11 kuqala.
1. Thembeka kuwe uqobo
Ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa nonkosikazi wakho, kubalulekile ukuthi uthembeke kuwe uqobo. Zibuze:
- Kungani ufuna ngempela qeda umshado? Kwesinye isikhathi ufuna ukuthi kuphele, kepha kwesinye isikhathi okufunayo ngukuthi izinto ziguquke. Uma kunethuba lezo zinguquko zingenziwa akusona isikhathi sokuhlukana nomlingani.
- Yini ezodinga ukuyishintshela ukuze uzizwe ujabulile emshadweni wakho?
- Ngabe usola umkakho ngokungafanele ngokungajabuli kwakho? Kwesinye isikhathi esikudinga ngempela ukunaka kakhulu izidingo zethu nokunakekela impilo yethu kangcono kunokuba silindele ukuthi umlingani wethu akwenze.
2. Thembeka kumlingani wakho
Uzodinga ukuthembeka kumkakho, futhi. Ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngezinkinga zobudlelwano kugcwele ngezikhathi ezinhle kakhulu, ngakho-ke yenza okusemandleni akho ukukhuluma nendaba ngomusa nozwela - ingxoxo kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi ibe nomphumela omuhle futhi igweme isinqumo sakho sokuhlukana nonkosikazi wakho.
3. Vuma amaphutha akho
Akekho umuntu ophelele - lokho kungumuntu nje. Kepha kulula kakhulu ukusola unkosikazi wakho ngakho konke okungahambi kahle emshadweni wakho ngaphandle kokubheka ukuziphatha kwakho.
Zibuze ngobuqotho uma zikhona izindlela ongaba ngazo uzakwethu ongcono. Ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo kuzokwenza kube lula ukusebenzisana ekulungiseni ubudlelwano.
Buka futhi:
4. Thola futhi udlulise izidingo zakho
Ukubona nokwazisa izidingo zakho, nokukhuthaza umkakho ukuba enze okufanayo, kungasiza ekulungiseni umshado wakho. Kwesinye isikhathi inkinga ilula njengokungazikhulumi kahle izidingo zakho, futhi ngaleyo ndlela bengazange bahlangane nabo.
Thembeka kini ngokwenu nangomunye nomunye ngalokho enikudingayo ngamunye ebudlelwaneni.
5. Funda isitayela sobudlelwano komunye nomunye nolimi lothando
Wonke umuntu unesitayela sobudlelwano esihlukile nolimi lothando.
Abanye abantu badinga isikhathi esiningi sodwa.
Abanye badinga uthando lomzimba oluningi. Abanye bakhombisa uthando ngokwenza ukuthinta okumnandi, abanye balukhombisa ngokwenza izinto ezibonakalayo njengokukhipha udoti. Yazi isitayela sobudlelwano somunye nomunye ukuze nizwane kangcono.
6. Funda ukuxhumana okunempilo
Ukuxhumana okunempilo kubalulekile kuzo zonke izigaba zomshado futhi kakudluli lokho kunanini lapho uzama ukukusindisa.
Funda ukukhuluma ngaphandle kokumangalela futhi ulalele ngaphandle kokwahlulela ukuze nobabili nonkosikazi nibe nendawo yokuzwakala nokuqinisekiswa. Lapho kunokukhulumisana okuvulelekile nokwethembeka, inketho yokwehlukana nonkosikazi wakho kungenzeka ingangeni emqondweni wakho.
7. Buza imibuzo efanele
Uma ucabanga ngokuhlukana nonkosikazi wakho, kungenzeka ukuthi izinto sezivele zihle kakhulu. Cishe uzobe ubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi "konakelephi?" noma “kungani ekwenza lokho / engakwenzi lokhu?”
Esikhundleni salokho, zama ukubuza umkakho imibuzo enjengokuthi “yini engakwenza ujabule emshadweni wethu? Ngingaba kanjani umlingani ongcono kuwe? ”, Futhi umkhuthaze ukuthi akubuze imibuzo efanayo.
8. Zinikeni isikhathi sokuba nobabili
Ukuzizwa unqanyuliwe kuyingozi emshadweni. Kepha akusho ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokubuza ukuthi uzohlala nini emshadweni.
Ukwehlukana nonkosikazi wakho akusona isinqumo okufanele usithathe ubusuku bonke, noma ngabe kunaziphi izimo ezihlasimulisayo empilweni yakho yomshado.
Uma ubukhukhuleka ngokuhlukana, isikhathi osichithe ukuxhuma kabusha kungaba isinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisana nomkakho.
Zinike isikhathi isonto ngalinye ukwenza okuthile enikujabulelayo nobabili (khetha okuthile okungavami ukudala izingxabano!) Thatha isikhathi esincane usuku ngalunye ukubuzana futhi nixoxe nje ngani, hhayi ngomsebenzi, umndeni, noma izinkinga zakho.
9. Zama okusha
Uma ubhajwe enkingeni, sekuyisikhathi sokuphuma kukho, esikhundleni sokucabanga ukwehlukana nonkosikazi wakho.
Khuluma nomkakho ngokuthatha ikilasi ndawonye, ukuzama into oyithandayo, noma ngisho nokuhlola indawo yokudlela entsha noma i-cinema.
Ukwenza okuthile okusha ndawonye kungahle kwanele ukuvuselela ukuxhumana kwakho futhi ubuyise ukholo lwakho ebuhlotsheni bakho ukuze uqhubeke nokusebenza ezindabeni eziyinhloko.
10. Ungazami ukumshintsha
Ukuzama ukushintsha umkakho ngeke kwenze omunye wenu ajabule.
Esikhundleni sokuhlukanisa nonkosikazi wakho, thembeka kuwe mayelana nokuthi ungabona yini ikusasa elijabulisayo nomkakho uma ehlala enguye. Kuyasiza futhi ukufunda ukudedela izinto ezincane zihambe.
Uma emhlotshana kunawe noma enomkhuba wokuhlehlisa izinto, ungaphila nakho? Ukuvumela izinto ezincane zihambe kwenza ukuthi nobabili nibe nesikhathi sokugxila ezintweni ezibaluleke kakhulu - izindinganiso zakho, izinhloso zakho, nezizathu zokuba nishade kwasekuqaleni.
11. Bheka umelaphi wezobudlelwano
Akunamahloni ngokuvakashela umeluleki wezobudlelwano noma owelapha imishado uma izinto zinzima ngoba zingaba nezinzuzo zesikhashana nezesikhathi eside emshadweni wakho.
Ikakhulukazi uma ngabe nobabili noma nobabili nicabanga ngenketho yokuhlukana nonkosikazi noma indoda.
Baqeqeshelwe ukukusiza nobabili nithole ukucaciseleka enikudingayo ukuze niqhubekele phambili. Khuluma nomkakho ngokubhuka i-aphoyintimenti ukuze nobabili nithole ukwesekwa ngokuxazulula izinkinga zenu.
Izinkinga zobudlelwano akudingeki zipele isehlukaniso noma ukwehlukana kusuka kunkosikazi.
Kwesinye isikhathi ama-tweaks ambalwa adingekayo ukukunika ithemba lokuqhubeka nokusebenza ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi ekugcineni ugcine umshado wakho.