Ingabe ukuthole kuyinselele ukuveza izidingo zakho, ufuna, okulindelwe, ukudumazeka, njll., ngqo kumlingani wakho?
Ngabe uke uyiphike imizwa yakho yangempela ngento ethile ehluphayo ukuthi owakwakho wenza noma cha, wenza sengathi "ukahle" ngoba ulindele ukuthola impendulo yokuzivikela?
Ngabe uyazibuza ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani ngempumelelo nomlingani wakho?, noma uma ungasebenzisi indlela efanele yokuxhumana?
Uma ngabe esinye isimo silingana–ungazikhohlisi ngokukholelwa ukuthi awukhulumisani noma indlela yakho yokuxhumana ayilungile. Empeleni, uzwakala kakhulu, kepha kunokuba kube ngendlela eqondile, kungenzeka ube nolaka.
Ngakho-ke, awusoze wazithokozela ngempela izinzuzo zengxoxo ethembekile.
Ungakhathazeki, noma kunjalo, awuwedwa!
Thatha uSally, uthisha webanga lesine, noPete, umakhi wesoftware, ngokwesibonelo, bobabili abaseminyakeni yabo yama-30 abafisa ukuqala umndeni. Ekupheleni kosuku bobabili babephelelwe amandla, beshiya amandla amancane okusondelana ngokocansi.
Kodwa-ke, ukukhathala nezithiyo zesikhathi kuvele kungabi yinkinga yabo enkulu. Kunalokho, bobabili babenenzondo engashiwongo.
Ngeshwa, akekho uSally noPete ababethembile ukuthi kungaphepha ukukhuluma ngalokhu okwakucasula ngamunye wabo futhi bawela ogibeni lokungafuni “ukwenza into enkulu ngalutho.”
Ngaphansi kobuso, uSally wayecasukile ngoba uPete wayehluleka ukufeza izibopho zakhe ayevumelene ngazo endlini, njengokukhipha udoti nokugeza izitsha, okwenza ukuthi akhathazeke ukuthi uzokwazi ukuthembela kuye uma sebenakho ingane.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi uPete wathola uSally ethola amaphutha futhi wayevame ukuzizwa egxekwa ngezinto ezincane.
Kodwa-ke, kunokuba akhombise imizwa yakhe elimele, wayehlahle amehlo akhe angamnaki. Kamuva, wayebuyela kuye “ngokukhohlwa” ukuze enze imisebenzi yakhe.
Bengazi kubo bobabili uSally noPete, babenze iluphu yokuphendula engemihle noma isitayela sokuxhumana esingesihle, besebenzisa izindlela zokukhuluma ezinolaka.
KuSally, esikhundleni sokuhlanganyela ngokwesaba kwakhe ngokuba nengane noPete, wayezobamba amakhabethe futhi enze imibono ehlekisayo lapho uPete esendlebeni, enethemba lokuthi uzomnaka emgqonyeni kadoti ogcwele kakhulu.
KuPete, kunokuba atshele uSally ukuthi indlela yakhe yokuxhumana noma inqwaba yokugxekwa yamshiya elimele futhi ethukuthele, akazange amnake, enethemba lokuthi uzoyeka ukukhononda. (Ngendlela, uSally wayekholelwa ukuthi unikeza impendulo eyakhayo, kepha akusiyona indlela uPete akuchaze ngayo.)
Ngenkathi bethandana, lezi Ukubonakaliswa okungaqondile kokukhungatheka kwabo kunikeze uphethiloli ovutha kakhulu wokuqhuma kwethangi legesi nokusondelana kwabo kwaqhubeka kwehla.
Ngenhlanhla, USally noPete bafuna usizo futhi ekugcineni babona ukuthi badinga ukukhumbula imizwa yabo yangempela futhi bazwakalise kubo ngokwakhayo okubavumele ukuthi baphule umjikelezo wabo ongemuhle futhi bakhe kabusha isibopho sabo esisondelene.
Iningi lethu liphendukela ekuziphatheni okunolaka lapho singazizwa siphephile ukwabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yethu ngokusobala.
Kepha uma zisetshenziswa ebuhlotsheni bethu obuseduze, lezi Izinkulumo ezahlukahlukene ezingaqondile zingalimaza njengokuziphatha ngolaka, uma kungabi kubi kakhulu kwesinye isikhathi.
Kepha, ungakwazi gqashula ekuziphatheni okunolaka futhi ube ngumxhumanisi oqotho nocacile esikhundleni!
Ngezansi kunamathiphu amahlanu wokuthuthukisa ikhwalithi yokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho:
- Yenza uhlu lwamagqubu nezikhalazo zakho. Lesi ngesinye sezikhiye ezibaluleke kakhulu ekuxhumaneni ngempumelelo emshadweni
- Beka izinto kuqala kusuka “kulabo okungenzeka babe ngabaphuli bamadili uma beshiywe bengashintshiwe” kuya “kulabo abangabalulekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.”
- Thatha eyodwa ebaluleke kakhulu bese wenza isitayela sokuxhumana esilandelayo (ngezwi lakho, kunjalo).
“Sthandwa sami, uma ngibona (gcwalisa ngencazelo yokuziphatha), lokhu ngikutolika ngokuthi (ngokwesibonelo, ukuthi awunandaba nezidingo zami, noma umatasa, njll.) Bese ngizwa (ngikugcine kulula ngokudabukisayo, ukuhlanya, ukujabula, noma ukwesaba).
Ngiyakuthanda futhi ngingathanda kakhulu uma singathola indlela yokuqeda lokhu noma senze isivumelwano esisha. Ngiyafisa futhi ukwazi ukuthi yini engingayenza ukudala indawo ephephile yokuthi ungixoxele izikhalazo zakho. ”
Qiniseka ukuthi uvela endaweni yenhloso enhle. Khumbula, inhloso yakho ukuthi umlingani wakho athole umlayezo wakho ngqo nangothando ukuze kungakhuthazi ukuzivikela.
Ukwazi ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani noshade naye kuqala ngokwazi isitayela sokuxhumana esifanele.
- Setha isikhathi noswidi wakho ukuba nengxoxo lapho ubuza khona ukuthi angajabulisa yini ukuba “umlaleli” imizuzu eminingana ukuze ukwazi ukuveza okudingayo, futhi uqinisekise umlingani wakho ukuthi uzomnika nesikhathi sokuphendula kanye uzizwa uzwakele. Bese uveza okuthile okujwayeze ku- # 3.
- Mema umlingani wakho ukuthi naye enze uhlu futhi adale nesikhathi sokuhlanganyela ukukhathazeka kwakhe nawe. Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi uyaqonda ukuthi abalingani abahle bayashintshana ngokuba yisikhulumi futhi balalele.
Bese uphinda u- # 3-5 uhamba ohlwini lwakho. Ungaze uthole ukuthi ngokudlula ezintweni ezimbalwa zokuqala, izindlela zokuziphatha zizozilungisa ngaphandle kokudlula kuyo yonke into esohlwini.
Ngokwenza lezi zinto zisebenze, ngethemba lokuthi uzoqala ukuvuna izinzuzo zokushiya isibonisi esinolaka ngemuva kwakho bese ungena endaweni ebabazekayo yokuthembeka!
Zisebenzise lezi zeluleko zokuxhumana zemibhangqwana esemshadweni wakho ukuthuthukisa isitayela sakho sokuxhumana futhi wakhe isibopho esiqinile.
Futhi, azikho izinkathazo, uma kwenzeka ujika ngendlela engafanele, mane ume bese ucabangisisa, bese uphinde uziphindisela emuva emgwaqeni omkhulu!
(Qaphela: Uma usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo, sicela ufune usizo lochwepheshe ngoba lezi zeluleko zingase zingakhiqizi. Futhi, njengoba ubudlelwano ngalunye bungafani, asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi lokho okusebenzela umuntu / izithandani ezithile kuzosebenzela omunye.)