-Delile
- Izimpawu zobudlelwano eziphindayo eziphakamisa ukuthi akunampilo
- Buhlala isikhathi esingakanani ubudlelwano obubuyayo
- Ukuvuselela izigaba zobudlelwano
Buyini ubuhlobo obubuyile?
Ukuqonda okuvamile kobudlelwano obuyisisekelo futhi lapho umuntu engena okusha eduze kulandela ukuhlukana kobudlelwano bangaphambilini.
Ngokuvamile kucatshangwa ukuthi kuyindlela yokusabela ekuhlukaneni, futhi hhayi ubudlelwano beqiniso, obakhiwa mahhala obususelwa ekutholakaleni okungokomzwelo.
Kodwa-ke, kukhona ubudlelwano obuphindiwe obuthola buzinzile, buqinile, futhi buhlala isikhathi eside. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukubona ukuthi kungani ungena ebudlelwaneni obuyisiphambeko ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi awugcini uzilimaza wena noma omunye umuntu.
Uma ubudlelwano bakho buphelile nje, futhi ulingeka ukuba uphinde ubuye, ungahle ufune ukuzibuza ukuthi ufunani kulobu budlelwano obubuyile.
Izimpawu zobudlelwano eziphindayo eziphakamisa ukuthi akunampilo
Noma ngabe unelukuluku lokwazi izimpawu ze-ex yakho isebudlelwaneni obubuyile noma ucabanga ukukhetha ukuqala ubudlelwano obubuyile ngemuva kwesehlukaniso noma ukuhlukana okungathandeki, kuhle ukwazi lezi zimpawu zokuxwayisa zobudlelwano obungenampilo.
Izimpawu zobudlelwano obubuyile
- Ugijimela ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kokuxhumana ngokomzwelo.
- Uwa kanzima futhi uyashesha kumlingani ongaba naye.
- Usabambe izinombolo zocingo, amaphephadonga, nezinye izinkumbulo ezivela ebuhlotsheni obudlule.
- Ufuna umlingani omusha ongahle enze umzamo omkhulu ebudlelwaneni.
- Ufinyelela lapho udabukile futhi ubuyela ezweni lakho lapho ujabule, ngenxa yokusebenziseka kalula ngokomzwelo.
Futhi, nayi eminye imibuzo ukukusiza uqonde ukuthi ubudlelwano obubuyiselayo buyindlela enempilo kuwe.
- Ngabe wenza lokhu ukuzenza uzizwe sengathi uyathandeka nokuthi umlingani wakho wangaphambili wayenephutha ukukuvumela uhambe? Ngabe usebenzisa umuntu omusha ukukusiza ukhohlwe umlingani wakho wakudala?
- Ngabe uphinda uvuselele ukulimaza umuntu wakho wakudala? Ngabe usebenzisa izinkundla zokuxhumana ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bakubona ujabulile ngalo muntu omusha? Ngabe ubeka ngamabomu isithombe ngemuva kwesithombe sakho nabo, nihaqana, nivalelane ngokumanga, nizijabulisa njalo? Ngabe usebenzisa lobu budlelwano obusha njengokuziphindiselela kowakudala?
Ngabe awutshalwanga ngokweqiniso kumlingani omusha? Ingabe uyazisebenzisa ukugcwalisa isikhala esingenalutho esishiywe umlingani wakho wangaphambilini? Ingabe kumayelana nezocansi kuphela, noma ukugwema isizungu? Ngabe usebenzisa umlingani wakho omusha njengendlela yokudambisa ubuhlungu benhliziyo yakho, esikhundleni sokubhekana nalokho okuzilimazayo? Akuphilile futhi akulungile ukusebenzisa othile, ukunqoba ubuhlungu bokwehlukana.
Buhlala isikhathi esingakanani ubudlelwano obubuyayo
Ukukhuluma ngesilinganiso sempumelelo yobudlelwano, iningi lalawa masonto ambalwa edlule liye ezinyangeni ezimbalwa. Kodwa-ke, akubona bonke abadalelwe ukuphela, kepha kuya ngezici eziningi njengokutholakala kwemizwa yabo bobabili abalingani, ukuheha, nokufana okubabophezelayo.
Kubudlelwano obungenampilo, kukhona ukulahla imizwa eyinsalela enobuthi njengokukhathazeka, ukuphelelwa yithemba, nosizi obuvela ebudlelwaneni bangaphambilini kuye kobusha ngaphambi kokuba ukwelashwa kwemvelo kwenziwe kwenziwe ukuhlukana.
Njengoba umuntu ofuna ubuhlobo obuyisilonda engazange abhekane nomunyu nemithwalo engokomzwelo, bangaletha intukuthelo enkulu nokungazinzi ebudlelwaneni obusha.
Kungakho ubude obumaphakathi bobudlelwano obubuyiselayo abudluli izinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala.
Ngokwesilinganiso, i-90% yobudlelwano obubuyayo buhluleka ezinyangeni ezintathu zokuqala, uma sikhuluma ngesikhathi sesikhathi sobudlelwano.
Buka futhi:
Ukuvuselela izigaba zobudlelwano
Umugqa wesikhathi wobudlelwano obuyisisekelo uvame ukuba nezigaba ezine.
- Isigaba 1: Kuqala ngokuthola umuntu ohluke kakhulu kunentshisekelo yothando lwakho lwangaphambili. Kungaba yisimo esinobuthi kakhulu, njengoba uhlala unengcindezi yokufuna umuntu ohluke ngokuphelele kozakwethu wangaphambilini. Ekhanda lakho, uzitshela indaba yobudlelwano obujabulisayo nomuntu ongenazo izimfanelo ezifana nezakho wakudala ngakho-ke uphelele.
- Isigaba 2: Kulesi sigaba, usesimweni sokuphika ngenjabulo ukuthi kukhona amathuba okuba nezinkinga zobudlelwano njengoba ukhethe ngokucophelela umlingani ophambene ngokuphelele nalowo owedlule. Kepha lesi sigaba se-honeymoon asihlali isikhathi eside, njengoba, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uqala ukuhlola intshisekelo yakho entsha yothando ngohlu lokuhlola kwengqondo, okwesabekayo ngokufana okuthile. Uqala ukubeka umlingani wakho ongalindele esivivinyweni.
- Isigaba 3: Kulesi sikhathi izinkinga zobudlelwano nemikhakha yomlingani wakho iqala ukukucasula, kodwa ngokudabukisayo uyigcina ifakwa ebhodleleni, ebambelele ebudlelwaneni bokuphila okuthandekayo. Awufuni ukuba wedwa, ngakho-ke kunokuba ube nokukhulumisana okuvulelekile nokwethembeka, ugxila ekubabekeni iso, noma ngabe kwenziwa umzamo omkhulu.
- Isigaba 4: Isigaba sokugcina, somshado ophindaphindiwe noma ubudlelwano, sifaka phakathi ukunqamuka. Uyabona ukuthi ulethe izingqinamba zobudlelwano bakho obudlule kulokhu, futhi ungahlosile, wenza lo muntu waba yinto ebuyayo. Ngeshwa, umlingani ongafanelekile we-rebound naye uyabona ukuthi bebeyindlela yakho yokuqeda ubuhlobo bakho bangaphambilini.
Uma uthole ukuvalwa nokuqonda ngezizathu zangempela zokuthi kungani izinto zifinyelele esiphethweni nomlingani wakho wangaphambilini, ungahle ube nethemba elisele lokuthi uqale kabusha kulobu budlelwano ngaphandle kokubuyela emuva.
Futhi, uma uqotho ngokwenza umzamo wokukhululeka nokukhulumisana, bangahle bazimisele ukuzama futhi njengabashadikazi bangempela.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma beyibiza ngokuthi iyakuyeka, zinike isikhathi sokuzibonela. Ungagijimeli ekutholeni lowo ongalingana nentshisekelo yakho yokugcina yothando, funa umuntu ohambelana nokuthi ungubani nokuthi ufunani.
Ngakho-ke, ingabe ubuhlobo obubuyayo buhlala isikhathi eside?
Akekho ongaphendula lokhu ngokuqiniseka, yize amathuba ephansi. Kukhona okuhlukile kusukela umuntu ovukelayo angakhetha ukuphola ngaphandle kokuvuleleka kanye nendawo yesikhala ecacile.
Uma umuntu ehlanganyela ebudlelwaneni obubuyile ukuze abuyele kowayezakwethu noma ukuziphazamisa enqubeni yosizi, lapho-ke lokhu kungqubeka kungaphela ngokungafanele.