-Delile
- Isigaba 1- Umhlaba ubukeka usufike ekugcineni
- Ukukhathazeka
- Ukucindezeleka
- Ulaka
- Ubudikadika
- Ukuzikhathaza ngokomzwelo
- Icala nentukuthelo
- Sizohlangana nokuphela komshado
- Isigaba 2- Uhlangabezana nemizwa eminingi
- Imizwa engalindelekile ehambisana nezigaba zesehlukaniso
- Iyaskena
- Ukulahlekelwa nesizungu
- I-Euphoria
- Kusihlwa ukushintsha okungokomzwelo
- Isigaba 3- Ukuqala kokuguqulwa kobunikazi
- Ukwenza ushintsho ngokwengqondo
- Isigaba 4- Ukuthola 'wena' omusha
- Ukwamukela
- Ukuxazulula ukulahleka
- Igama mayelana nokwelashwa nesehlukaniso sokusebenza kwengqondo
- Amadoda nezigaba zesehlukaniso ezingokomzwelo
Ngezindlela eziningi isehlukaniso sifana nokudlula ekufeni kothandekayo, okubandakanya ukulahlekelwa nosizi. Ishintsha ukwakheka komndeni ingunaphakade. Isehlukaniso sidala ukulahleka kwamathemba namaphupho wokuthi umshado nomndeni kufanele ube yini.
Akukho okuhlangenwe nakho okukodwa kwesehlukaniso. Ukushintsha kwesimo kusuka ekushadweni ungashadi kungaletha ubunzima obuhlukahlukene ekulungisweni okungokomzwelo kubantu abazichaze bona njengabashadile nabahlangene.
Indlela umuntu ahlangabezana ngayo nesehlukaniso incike ezintweni eziningi: isimo senhlalo-mnotho, iyiphi ingxenye yomjikelezo wempilo abakuyo, nokuthi ngabe isehlukaniso “sinobungani” noma “siyizitha”.
Noma kunjalo, impendulo yomuntu ekuguqukeni izokwehluka ngombono wakhe kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu ngamunye. Abanye babheka isehlukaniso njengokwehluleka nokuhlangabezana nokudangala, kuyilapho abanye bekuchaza njengenkululeko futhi bathola ukukhululeka. Iningi liwela ndawo ndawo phakathi.
Izigaba zesehlukaniso ezethulwe lapha ziyefana nezigaba umuntu adlula kuzo lapho esosizini lokufa. Imane nje iyimihlahlandlela ejwayelekile. Abanye abantu bangazizwa ngokulandelana okwethulwayo; abanye bangathola izigaba ezimbalwa, kepha hhayi zonke. Noma kunjalo, abanye kungenzeka bangazitholi nhlobo. Iqiniso ukuthi isehlukaniso inqubo, futhi kungenzeka kungabi inqubo efanayo yawo wonke umuntu njengoba ukudlula ezigabeni zesehlukaniso kusho izinto ezehlukene kubantu abahlukene.
Yize ukusabela komuntu ngamunye enqubweni yesehlukaniso kuhlukahlukene, kukhona uchungechunge olujwayelekile nolungabikezelwa lwezigaba ezingokwengqondo abanye abadlula kuzo.
Izigaba zesahlukaniso kumqalisi wesahlukaniso zehlukile kunezigaba zesehlukaniso kumuntu ongaqalisi. Umqalisi esehlukanisweni uhlangabezana neminjunju yobuhlungu nosizi kakhulu ngaphambi kokwenza okungeyena oqalayo. Umuntu ongasiqalisi uhlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka kanye nezinxushunxushu kuphela ngemuva kokuzwa izwi okokuqala, isehlukaniso. Kungakho-ke umbuzo othi, “kuzodlula isikhathi esingakanani ukwehlukanisa?” inezimpendulo ezahlukahlukene zesiqalisi nongasiqalisi.
Izigaba ezine zingabhalwa ngokuthi ukuphika, ukungqubuzana, ukungaqondakali, nokwamukelwa. Ukuqwashiswa kwalezi zigaba kuzosiza ukuqonda ukuthi ukulungiswa kwesehlukaniso kuyinqubo hhayi umcimbi owodwa. Imvamisa kuthatha iminyaka emibili kuya kwemithathu ukwakha ukunamathela okuqinile kumuntu nakwabanye abantu, uma ukwehlukana kwenzeka ngemuva kwalesi sikhathi, kuvame ukufaka impendulo ebizwa nge-shock shock.
Isigaba sokuqala ezigabeni zesehlukaniso sibonakala ikakhulu ngokwenqaba nokuphazamiseka kokuhlukana. Umuntu angathola ukukhululeka, ukuba ndikindiki, noma ukwethuka. (Ukukhululeka kuyezwakala lapho isehlukaniso sesiyinqubo eyeluliwe, ekhishelwa ngaphandle). Ukusabela okujwayelekile kakhulu ngokuhlukana ukwesaba ukulahlwa. Impendulo engokomzwelo kulokhu kwesaba imvamisa ukwesaba nokukhathazeka.
Futhi Buka:
Nakhu okunye ngezigaba zesehlukaniso
Isigaba 1- Umhlaba ubukeka usufike ekugcineni
Ukukhathazeka
Ukudlula esahlukanisweni uhambo lokushintshana. Inqubo yesehlukaniso ifaka ukukhathazeka. Imizwa yokukhathazeka ingahle ihambisane nokuphazamiseka kokulala noma amaphethini wesifiso. Kungakhathalekile ukuthi unombuzo onjani, kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuthola isehlukaniso, kufanele ufunde izindlela zokubhekana nazo ukuze uvimbe ukukhathazeka. Ukukhathazeka kuyonakalisa futhi kwenza ukudlula isehlukaniso kuxake kakhulu.
Ukucindezeleka
Ukwehla kokudla futhi kukhuphuke esikhathini esichithwa ukulala kungenzeka kuhlobene nokudangala. Kokubili ukukhathazeka nokudangala kuyizinkomba zokwehlukaniswa ukushaqeka futhi okuvame ukubonwa phakathi kwezigaba zesehlukaniso. Imvamisa ngalesi sikhathi amaklayenti azobika ukuthi awakwazi ukugxila emisebenzini yomsebenzi noma ukuqhubeka nezingxoxo nabantu. Bangase babhekane nokukhala okungazelelwe noma intukuthelo.
Ulaka
Abanye abantu babika ukuthi bavame ukwehluleka ukulawula intukuthelo yabo, futhi ngenxa yalokho kamuva okubonakala kuyisizathu esingasho lutho, kuqhuma intukuthelo engazelelwe.
Ubudikadika
Abantu abaningi baba nemizwa yokuba ndikindiki noma ukungabikho kwemizwa yokuzama ukuhamba ezigabeni ezingaziwa zesehlukaniso. Ubuntofontofo kuyindlela yokuthulisa noma yokuphika imizwa, okungathi, uma inolwazi, kube nzima kakhulu ukuthi umuntu angayiphatha.
Ukuzikhathaza ngokomzwelo
Imvamisa ngesikhathi seSigaba 1, umuntu uyaguquguquka phakathi kwale mizwa - ezizwa eqala ukukhathazeka, bese ethukuthele, bese eba ndikindiki. Kwabaningi, le mizwa ivame ukuhlanganiswa nemizwa yethemba ngempilo yabo entsha. Lesi sigaba sokushaqeka ngokwehlukana singahlala noma kuphi ukusuka ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kuye ezinyangeni ezimbalwa.
Icala nentukuthelo
Imvamisa omunye umlingani ufuna isehlukaniso ngaphezu komunye. Umuntu ohambayo uvame ukuthwalwa ngamacala amakhulu wecala nokuzisola, kanti umlingani osele angahle ezwe intukuthelo enkulu, ukuzilimaza, ukuzidabukela nokulahla omunye. Bobabili abantu bayahlupheka phakathi kwesinye sezigaba eziningi kangaka zesehlukaniso.
Sizohlangana nokuphela komshado
Inkinga eyinhloko yeSigaba 1 kubantu abaningi ifaka ukuzwa iqiniso lokuthi umshado uyaphela. Umsebenzi ongokomzwelo womuntu kulesi sigaba senqubo yesehlukaniso ukwamukela iqiniso lokwehlukana.
Isigaba 2- Uhlangabezana nemizwa eminingi
Imizwa engalindelekile ehambisana nezigaba zesehlukaniso
Kungekudala ngemuva kokushaqeka ngokwehlukana, omunye angaqala ukuzwa imizwa eminingi, eyodwa yenzeka ilandelana. Umzuzu owodwa abantu bangazizwa bekhululeke ngokuphelele ngempilo yabo entsha, bese kuthi ngemuva komzuzu bazithole sebekhala izinyembezi, bekhumbula ngababengabangane babo. Ngokushesha ngemva kwalokho, lapho bekhumbula isehlakalo esingesihle noma ingxabano, bangazizwa bethukuthele. Ukuphela kwento engabikezelwa kulesi sigaba ukungalindeleka kwemizwa.
Iyaskena
Abantu bazokhumbula ukuthi konakelephi emishadweni yabo, ukuthi ngubani okumele asolwe, yini indima yabo ekuhlulekeni. Bakhumbula izikhathi ezimnandi emshadweni futhi balilela ukulahleka kwezici ezisondelene kakhulu. Ukuskena kungaphinde kunikeze ukuqonda okwakhayo emaphethini abo ebudlelwaneni. Ngalo mqondo, kungaba yinto yokufunda ebalulekile.
Ukulahlekelwa nesizungu
Ngalesi sigaba, umuntu angaba nomuzwa wokulahleka nesizungu, okufana nalokho umuntu abhekana nakho ekufeni kothandekayo. Isizungu singazibonakalisa ngezindlela eziningi. Abanye bangazithela ngabandayo bese bezihlukanisa, bezihlukanisa nabantu. Abanye bangaba nohlobo olusebenzayo lwesizungu. Esikhundleni sokuhlala ekhaya, bangahle baye ezindaweni zokudlela ezindala, badlule ekhaya lalabo abashade nabo, noma basuke kwelinye ibha bodwa baye komunye, befuna induduzo esizweni sabo.
Ngalesi sikhathi futhi, noma yimiphi imizwa nemizwa engemihle umuntu abhekana nayo eseyingane, njengokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana, ukuzethemba okuphansi noma imizwa yokungabi nalutho, kungahle kuvuke, kudale lowo muntu ukucindezeleka okukhulu.
I-Euphoria
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, eSigabeni 2 bangathola izikhathi zokujabula. Abanye abantu abahlukanisayo bazizwa benomuzwa wokukhululeka, bengezelele inkululeko yomuntu siqu, amandla asanda kuzuzwa futhi bazibuyisele amandla angokomzwelo abekade ebhekiswe emshadweni phambilini. Lesi ngesinye sezigaba ezikhululekile zesehlukaniso.
Kusihlwa ukushintsha okungokomzwelo
Ngamafuphi, isigaba sesi-2 yisibonisi esibonisa imizwa, esikhonjiswa ikakhulu ukungqubuzana kwengqondo. Imisebenzi engokomzwelo yomuntu ngesinye sezigaba ezinjalo zesehlukaniso ukuthola incazelo yangempela yokuthi umshado wabo ubumeleni, ukuthi indima yabo ibiyini ekuwunakekeni, nokuthi yini umthwalo wabo wokwehluleka. Lesi ngesinye sezigaba eziyinselele kakhulu kodwa ekugcineni ezinezithelo zesehlukaniso.
Ingozi ukuthi ukwahlukanisa abantu eSigabeni 2 bangacabanga ukuthi okubi kakhulu sekwedlule ukuze baphinde bacindezeleke. Ngeshwa, i-saw-saw saw yalesi sigaba (nezinye izigaba) yenza kube nzima kakhulu ukusebenza nabameli, ukwenza izinqumo, futhi kwesinye isikhathi ube ngumzali osebenzayo.
Isigaba 3- Ukuqala kokuguqulwa kobunikazi
Ukungafani kweSigaba 3 kungabandakanya ushintsho kubunikazi bomuntu. Ngezindlela eziningi, lesi yisici esicindezela kakhulu ngokwengqondo senqubo yesehlukaniso. Ukushada kungumthombo oyinhloko wokuzazi. Abantu ababili bangena ebuhlotsheni obunemininingwane emibili ehlukene bese bakha ubunikazi bombhangqwana ngokuthi bangobani nokuthi bakuphi futhi kanjani emhlabeni. Lapho ubudlelwane babo buphela, bangazizwa bedidekile futhi besaba, njengokungathi abasenawo umbhalo obatshela ukuthi kufanele baziphathe kanjani.
Ngalesi sikhathi umuntu ohlukanisayo ubhekene noshintsho olukhulu ekuzibukeni kwakhe. Imvamisa ngalesi sikhathi, bangazama ubunikazi obuhlukile, bezama ukuthola okulungele bona. Kwesinye isikhathi ngalesi sikhathi, abantu abadala badlula ebusheni besibili. Ngokufana nobusha babo bokuqala, abantu bangakhathazeka kakhulu ngokuthi babukeka kanjani, nokuthi bazwakala kanjani. Bangathenga izingubo ezintsha noma imoto entsha.
Imizabalazo eminingi umuntu omdala abhekana nayo esemusha ingaphinde ivele futhi angazithola ezama ukunquma ukuthi uzobamba kanjani ukweshelwa kwezocansi noma ukuthi angaqabula nini ubusuku obuhle. Abantu bangahlanganyela ekuhlolweni kocansi njengoba benza imizamo yokuhlola ubulili babo obusha ngaphandle komshado. Lokhu kufaneleka njengesinye sezigaba zokuzihlola zesehlukaniso ezingaholela ekutholeni nasekufundweni okusha.
Ukwenza ushintsho ngokwengqondo
Umsebenzi ongokomzwelo womuntu ohlukanisa ngalesi sigaba wenza ushintsho ngokwengqondo lusuke ekubeni "oshadile" abe "ongashadile" futhi. Lokhu kuguqulwa kobunikazi, kwabaningi, ngokwengqondo kuyisenzo esinzima kakhulu nesicindezelayo senqubo yesehlukaniso.
Isigaba 4- Ukuthola 'wena' omusha
Ukwamukela
Izici zesigaba sesi-4: Ekugcineni (nesikhathi kuyahlukahluka kuye ezinyangeni kuye mhlawumbe eminyakeni eminingana), abantu abahlukanisayo bangena esigabeni sesi-4 futhi bezwe ukukhululeka nokwamukelwa ngesimo sabo. Ngemuva kwesikhashana, baqala ukuzwa umuzwa omusha wamandla nokufeza. Ngokwengxenye enkulu, kulesi sigaba, abantu bazizwa benelisekile ngezindlela zabo zokuphila futhi abasagxili kokwedlule. Manje sebenomuzwa wokuqwashisa nolwazi ngezidingo zabo.
Ukuxazulula ukulahleka
Yize imizwa eminingi ebangelwe isehlukaniso ibuhlungu futhi ingathandeki, ekugcineni iholela ekuxazululeni ukulahlekelwa ukuze kuthi, uma umuntu efisa, akwazi ngokomzwelo ukuvuselela ubudlelwano obuseduze.
Esigabeni 4 imizwa yenhlalakahle iqala ukubekwa phambili kunemizwa yokukhathazeka nentukuthelo. Ukwehlukanisa abantu bakwazi ukulandela intshisekelo yabo futhi babeke abalingani babo bokuqala kanye nemishado ngendlela abakhululeke ngayo.
Igama mayelana nokwelashwa nesehlukaniso sokusebenza kwengqondo
Ungadlula kanjani isehlukaniso? Ingabe ukwelashwa kuyisihluthulelo sokusiza ekuguqukeni nasekuqedeni isehlukaniso? Ukucindezeleka kwangemva kwesehlukaniso kungathinta umuntu kusuka emasontweni ambalwa kuye eminyakeni embalwa.
Ngenkathi abantu abaningi bezizwa bekhululekile phakathi nangemva kwesehlukaniso nangemva kwaso, abanye abaningi babhekana nezinhlupheko eziningi lapho kuphela imishado yabo, bezabalaza ukubhekana nezigaba zesehlukaniso futhi bebheka izimpendulo zombuzo othi, "ungadlula kanjani esahlukanisweni?" . Kwesinye isikhathi labo ababhekana nokungakhululeki ngokweqile abadluli ezigabeni zesehlukaniso kanye nesisombululo sesipiliyoni. Abanye abantu bayabambeka.
Yize iningi labantu lingahlomula ekwelashweni ngenkathi kudlula lolu shintsho olukhulu, labo 'ababambeka' ezigabeni zokudivosa bazula ikakhulukazi ukwelashwa kulusizo kakhulu. Ngokusobala, esinye sezinyathelo zokuthola isehlukaniso ukuthola owelapha kahle, okuseduze kokuthola ummeli omuhle wedivosi. Umelaphi omuhle uzokusiza unqobe izinhlungu phakathi nezigaba ezingokomzwelo zesehlukaniso.
Amadoda nezigaba zesehlukaniso ezingokomzwelo
Kungaba yizigaba zesehlukaniso kowesilisa noma owesifazane, inqubo ebuhlungu yokuqedwa komshado ithwala kanzima kubo bobabili. Kuvame ukucatshangwa emphakathini wethu wezinzalamizi ukuthi indoda idinga ukuyimunca futhi ingakhombisi usizi. Lokhu kungalimaza kakhulu impilo yonke yengqondo yanoma yimuphi umuntu owenza izigaba zokuphulukiswa kwesehlukaniso.
Indoda ihlangabezana nokungakholwa njengesigaba sokuqala sesehlukaniso, esivela ezigabeni zokuphulukiswa kwesehlukaniso sokwenqaba, ukushaqeka, intukuthelo, ubuhlungu, nokudangala ngaphambi kokuthi ivuselele impilo yayo.
Ngisazibuza ukuthi ungadlula kanjani isehlukaniso? Khumbula kunezigaba ezahlukene zosizi ngemuva kwesehlukaniso. Ngosizo lwethemba elijwayelekile nokwelashwa, uzokwazi ukuqedela umzila osuka phansi uye phansi “Ngizokufa ngedwa” kuye phezulu “Ngingagcina ngithathe izingcezu ngiphile impilo yami ngokujabula futhi”.