-Delile
- Ingabe kufanele uhlale emshadweni onjalo?
- 1. Xoxa ngezinkinga zabo bese uzama ukusiza
- 2. Finyelela usizo lochwepheshe
- 3. Xoxani ngekusasa lobudlelwano benu
- Imiphumela yesikhathi eside yokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo
Ingabe ikhona ngempela indlela yokwenza isivumelwano ngesihluku? Lapho ushada, ngokwemvelo ulindele ukuthi oshade naye abe nothando futhi anakekele kuwe. Kepha kuthiwani uma lokho kungenzeki neze? Ukulahlekelwa yi-fizz yokuqala kwezothando lwakho kungalunga. Eqinisweni, lokho kwenzeka ngayo yonke imibhangqwana, ngesikhathi esithile. Kepha kuthiwani uma umuntu obumthanda eqala ukuziphatha ngendlela ehluke ngokuphelele kuwe? Kuthiwani uma lolo thando olwalukade lukhona manje seluthathelwa indawo ngonya, ukuzikhukhumeza kanye nenzondo? Yini engenziwa?
Ingabe kufanele uhlale emshadweni onjalo?
Into yokuqala okudingeka uyenze ukuzama ukuqonda isizathu salokhu kuguqulwa kokuziphatha.
Kungaba nezizathu eziningi zalokhu. Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho ubhekene nezinkinga emsebenzini, ubhekene nezinkinga zezezimali noma okunye. Kwesinye isikhathi ngisho nokusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa kungaba yisizathu. Ubuwazi ukuthi ngaphezu kwabantu abangama-20 ngomzuzu bahlukunyezwa ngokomzimba ngabalingani babo? Uma udlame lomzimba luvamile, kuthiwani ngezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumeza? Izinombolo zikhulu kakhulu lapho.
Kodwa-ke, uma usenokholo ebudlelwaneni futhi uzizwa ukuthi izinto zingasebenza phakathi kwakho noshade naye noma ukuthi izinto zisengalungiswa, nansi eminye imibono ongayilungiselela. Isitini ngesitini, zama ukwakha ubuhlobo bakho nabo bese uqala zisuka nje. Abantu abaningi bake babhekana nezinkinga ezinjalo phambilini; ngakho-ke kholwa ukuthi izinto zingalungiswa ngomzamo othile.
Nazi ezinye izixazululo ongazicabanga:
1. Xoxa ngezinkinga zabo bese uzama ukusiza
Indoda ehlukumeza ngokomzwelo imvamisa isebenzisa ulimi oluyalelayo nolunenkosi, ikuphathe njengomuntu ongaphansi kwakhe. Kungumqondo omuhle ukukhomba izitatimende ezinzima ezasetshenziswa ngenkathi kukhulunywa naye. Ungazivumeli zikuhlukumeze ngokomzwelo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amakhosikazi ahlukumeza ngokomzwelo asebenzisa ulimi “olufana nezisebenzi” ngenkathi exhumana nabayeni bawo. Imisho eqondile futhi emifushane ivamile. Imikhawulo ibaluleke kakhulu.
Zama ukuxoxa nabo ngalezi zinto ezikhathazayo ngendlela engenabudlova, enengqondo futhi eyakhayo. Futhi, uma kunenkinga ebangela lokho kuziphatha, kufanele futhi ukuxoxe ngakho. Imvamisa, kungaba nezinhlobo ezimbili zezinkinga:
- Lokho okubandakanya wena nomndeni wakho
- Labo abangakwenzi
Uma kungokwakamuva, kufanele uhlole kahle zonke izinto ezibakhathazayo. Nikela ukusiza ngangokunokwenzeka ngokushintshana ngokuthandana nokuhloniphana. Uma kungokwangaphambili, kufanele ufune usizo lochwepheshe.
2. Finyelela usizo lochwepheshe
Imibhangqwana eminingi ikholelwa ukuthi ukucela usizo lochwepheshe kusho ukuxoxa ngobumfihlo bakho nomuntu omusha. Kodwa-ke, kunabaningi abelaphi abangochwepheshe abakwazile ngempumelelo ukusiza amakhulu emibhangqwana.
Kungaba nzima ukukhuluma nomuntu oshade naye kulokhu. Bachazele ukuthi yenzelwe okungcono kakhulu. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuba nonya nokuhlukumeza kuthinta bobabili abalingani ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile. Abelaphi banikela ngezeluleko zochwepheshe kanye nezimo ezithile ezithakazelisa ngempela. Uzodlula ochungechungeni lwezimo eziqanjiwe nemidlalo elingisa. Lokhu kuzokwenza ukuthi uphinde ucabangele uthando lwakho bese uqala ukubuka ubuhlobo bakho ngenye indlela.
Umelaphi futhi angaqinisekisa ukuthi kukhona umugqa ocacile odwetshiwe phakathi kokulwa ngokuhlanganyela nanoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo. Lapho umugqa udonswa, bazophinde banqume izinga “lokwehluka kwamandla” elikhona emshadweni.
Uma uthola ukuthi umelaphi akakwazanga ukusiza, sekuyisikhathi sokudlulela kwesinye esisha. Akuyona into engavamile ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka. Mhlawumbe izindlela zabo bezingakulungeli ngokwanele kepha omunye uchwepheshe angasiza impela.
3. Xoxani ngekusasa lobudlelwano benu
Uma uzwa sengathi imizamo yakho ayilethanga uguquko ezimweni zabo zengqondo ezinokukhohlakala nasekuthambekeni kwabo, kusho ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi ucabangisise ngokuyeka ubudlelwano. Ukwehlukana, ikakhulukazi ngemuva kweminyaka eminingi yomshado, kunzima. Kungakhathalekile ukuthi umlingani wakho ubenonya kangakanani, kungahle kube nemizwa yokuzisola. Imizwelo yakho ingakutshela ukuthi mhlawumbe akuyona into elungile. Kodwa-ke, njengesisulu sonya lwabo, unelungelo lokubashiya. Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe ukuba sothandweni, uzibophezele futhi ube nobudlelwano obujabulisayo. Qhubeka wenze lokhu kube ithuba lakho ngokuzayo.
Imiphumela yesikhathi eside yokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo
Isihluku singaba udlame futhi udlame lungaholela emiphumeleni emibi. Umlingani ononya angagcina esezibandakanya ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzimba futhi akwenze ubhekane nezinkinga ezimbi ngokwengqondo. Kungakho noma iyiphi indlela yokubuyisana ingekho embuzweni.
Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi awuwedwa kulokhu. Owesifazane oyedwa kwabathathu nowesilisa oyedwa kwabane ube yizisulu zokuhlukunyezwa ngabalingani babo abanonya. Uma konke sekuphelile, kubalulekile ukubona ukuthi umshado wakho ubungaba yini ukube benihlala ndawonye.
Ukufingqa, uma unomlingani ononya kubalulekile ukuthi kube nguwe ongaphelelwa yimizwa. Funa usizo lochwepheshe ngokushesha okukhulu. Uma konke kwehluleka, okuwukuphela kwesinyathelo esinengqondo ukudivosa.