-Delile
- Kungani ulala nowayengunkosikazi wakho?
- Futhi wesaba ukuthi ungaphinde wenze ucansi
- Uma uthanda ubulili nowayengunkosikazi wakho
- Lokho akusho ukuya ocansini nowayengunkosikazi wakho umqondo omuhle
- Zibuze ukuthi kungani unentshisekelo yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano?
- Kungani ucansi nowayengunkosikazi wakho kungashisa kangaka
- Ochwepheshe abaningi bazokuvimba
Wena nowayengunkosikazi wakho nihlukanisile. Kungaba kwakamuva impela. Kungenzeka kube yiminyaka edlule. Nobabili nibhekene nobunzima bokungashadi. Usakhangwa nguye. Futhi uyazibuza ... ngabe uzovulekela abangane abanezinhlobo zohlobo lobuhlobo?
Uqala ukucabanga ukuthi kungani lokhu kungasebenza. Nobabili niyazana ngokusondelana. Uyazi ukuthi yini emguqula. Benihlale nilungile ndawonye ezingeni lezocansi. Ngakho-ke, yenza ucansi ne-ex yakho. Kungani kungenjalo?
Kungani ulala nowayengunkosikazi wakho?
Akukho lucwaningo oluningi laphaya olukhuluma ngocansi ne-ex. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi iningi labantu elizitika ngalokhu liphatha amahloni. Kuyimfihlo encane engcolile abazimisele ngokuziqhayisa ngayo emphakathini. Ngemuva kwakho konke, uma usaqhubeka nokwenza ucansi nowawushade naye, kungani uhlukanisile?
Kepha isizathu esenza abantu abaningi baye ocansini ne-ex silula. Niyazana. Njengoba senidivosile manje, akusekho isimo sokushuba nokulwa. Konke okusemuva kwakho manje. Futhi ujwayelene kakhulu nawe.
Empeleni, selokhu ahlukanisa ubezinakekela kangcono. Igqoka kancane ngocansi. Uthole ukugunda izinwele okusha. Yini lawo mafutha amnandi awagqokile manje?
Futhi wesaba ukuthi ungaphinde wenze ucansi
Ukwesaba okuvamile kubantu abasanda kudivosa ukuthi ngeke baphinde baye ocansini. Isehlukaniso sithathe ukuzethemba kwabo futhi abakwazi ukucabanga ukuthi othile ukhangwa kubo, okungenani akwanele ukulala nabo.
Ngakho-ke ukuya ocansini ne-ex yakho kuzwakala kuyindlela enhle yokuthi usaqhubeka nokwenza ucansi, futhi nomuntu ongeyona ingozi. Ayikho ingozi yezifo ezingaziwa, ayikho ingozi yokuthi zithandane ngokushesha okukhulu noma zikwenze uzibophezele ebudlelwaneni lapho ungakalungeli.
Ukuya ocansini nowayengunkosikazi wakho kulula. Kuyabikezelwa. Akukho ukukhathazeka ngokuhamba ze nomlingani wakho omusha futhi ukhathazeke ngokuthi bangacabangani ngaleso sisu sikabhiya esidala. Futhi okungenani kuya ocansini!
Uma uthanda ubulili nowayengunkosikazi wakho
Kunokucwaninga okuncane okukhombisa ukuthi ukuya ocansini nowawushade naye kungenzeka kungabi nomthelela omubi esimweni somuntu esingokwengqondo. “Labo ababefuna labo ababekade benabo babekwazi ukufuna ukuya nabo ocansini, futhi labo bantu ababikanga bazizwa bethukuthele kakhulu ngemuva kwalokho; empeleni, ukuxhuma nabalingani babo kwabashiya benomuzwa wokuzethemba nsuku zonke ”, kusho omunye wabaphenyi abaphambili balolu cwaningo, uDkt Stephanie Spielmann.
Lokho akusho ukuya ocansini nowayengunkosikazi wakho umqondo omuhle
Yize abanye abantu bengacabanga ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuya ocansini nowayengunkosikazi wakho, lokhu akuwona umuzwa wendawo yonke. Iningi labantu abaya ocansini ne-ex, noma ngabe yinto yesikhathi esisodwa noma isimo esiphindaphindwayo, banemizwa exubile ngayo. Kungakuvimba ekuqhubekeleni phambili futhi uthole umlingani omusha, ofaneleka kangcono.
Kungasusa noma imiphi imizwa engaxazululiwe ngesehlukaniso nokuthi yini eholela kuyo. Owayengunkosikazi wakho kungenzeka angabi sekhasini elifanayo nawe lokuthi ufunani kulesi simo. Ngabe ulala nawe ngoba ecabanga ukuthi ningabuyelana?
Zibuze ukuthi kungani unentshisekelo yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano?
Zibuze ukuthi kungani unentshisekelo yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano, ngisho nobocansi nje, nowayengunkosikazi wakho. Futhi mbuze umbuzo ofanayo. Nobabili kudingeka nithembeke kabuhlungu ngalokho enikufunayo kulobu budlelwane bezocansi. Ingabe kwenzelwa ukukhululwa ngokomzimba nje?
Ngabe omunye wenu unethemba lokuthi lokhu kuzovusa umuzwa wakudala, mhlawumbe akubuyisele ndawonye?
Uma omunye wenu esenemizwa yothando, ukuya ocansini kuzokujulisa lokho, futhi mhlawumbe kunikeze amathemba amanga kumlingani onenkinga yokudedela umshado.
Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili ninokuqonda okucacile mayelana nokuthi yini eniyifunayo ngamunye ngamunye kusuka kuleli lungiselelo.
Kungani ucansi nowayengunkosikazi wakho kungashisa kangaka
Abesilisa abavuma ukuthi baya ocansini nabesifazane ababengabafazi babo bathi ucansi lushisa kakhulu. Okokuqala, kukhona into engavunyelwe. Umphakathi uthi awufanele ukuya ocansini nowayengunkosikazi wakho, ngakho-ke iqiniso lokuthi uphakathi kwamashidi naye lenza izinto zithokozise kakhulu.
Okwesibili, isehlukaniso sakho sikukhulule kuyo yonke imithwalo umshado omubi owawukusinda. Ngoba akekho umuntu ofukamela intukuthelo, ningaba nobudlova futhi nihlanye, njengasezinsukwini zakudala.
Ufuna ukuzama i-kink entsha? Nge-ex, ungaya lapho ... nazana kahle kakhulu. Ngakho-ke kwabesilisa abaningi, ukuya ocansini nowayengunkosikazi kubabile ngendlela emangalisayo. Akumangalisi ukuthi ucwaningo lwakamuva olushicilelwe kuJournal of Social and Clinical Psychology luthole ukuthi kwabangu-137 ababekade behlanganyela ababebambe iqhaza, umuntu oyedwa kwabahlanu wayesalala nowayeshade naye ngemuva kokuhlukanisa.
Ochwepheshe abaningi bazokuvimba
Usonhlalakahle wasemtholampilo onamalayisense, uSherry Amatenstein, uxwayisa nganoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlangana ngokocansi nowesilisa wakudala. Ukholelwa ukuthi kumane kuholele ebuhlungwini obudonse isikhathi eside ngokwehlukana noma isehlukaniso.
Ngakho-ke cabanga ngalokho ngesikhathi esizayo lapho ubona umkakho wangaphambili ebukeka eshisa kakhulu futhi eyenga. Ngenkathi ukulala naye kungabonakala njengomqondo omuhle, ekugcineni uzoba ngcono uma uqhubekela phambili futhi uthole umlingani omusha. Impela, kungazwakala njengomsebenzi omningi, kepha kungcono ngempilo yakho yengqondo.