-Delile
- Kepha kuthiwani ngabo bonke obunye ubudlelwano esibuthola nsuku zonke?
- Uhlelo lwesithathu lombuthano
- Ubudlelwano nokubaluleka kwabantu ezimpilweni zethu
Ngenkathi uJule Styne noBob Merrill bebhala ingoma ethi “People” yomculo weBroadway Funny Girl edlala indawo kaBarbra Streisand, bebengazi ukuthi le ngoma izoba nomculo omkhulu kangaka. Noma ngabe bekuyizwi likaBarbra noma indlela ingoma ethinta ngayo isidingo sangaphakathi esijulile sawo wonke umuntu kuyisimo senhliziyo. Umqondo wonke wabantu abadinga abantu usuphenduke ibhizinisi elikhulu - ikakhulu ugxile ebudlelwaneni bezothando. Amabhuku, ama-workshops, ama-specialty Therapists, ama-cruise, izindawo zokungcebeleka zamaholide ngisho nabelaphi be-massage bahlinzekela ukusikhipha ngothando kwemibhangqwana.
Kepha kuthiwani ngabo bonke obunye ubudlelwano esibuthola nsuku zonke?
Cabanga osebenza nabo? Abasekhweni? Izelamani? Ubudlelwano bethu okumele benziwe njengodokotela wamazinyo noma udokotela? Umphathi ongangezeli lutho nsuku zonke ezingeni le-EQ emsebenzini? Noma umalume wakhe omdala omuhle uHarry, onobuhlungu kodwa ubonakala kuwo wonke amaholide ukulungele ukukushayela amantongomane? Kuthiwani ngobudlelwano bakho naye - omunye wabangathandwa empilweni? Akuzange kube nosizo olukhulu laphaya ukuphatha lobu budlelwano. Kudingeke ukuthi sidunge futhi sibenze basebenze ngokusemandleni ethu.
Uhlelo lwesithathu lombuthano
Ngikholwa ukuthi ngiyitholile impendulo, futhi ngiyibiza ngokuthi yiThe Third Circle Protocol. Umbuthano wesithathu uyisivumelwano esingashiwongo esinaso komunye nomunye. Ukulindela esingakhulumi ngakho kepha kusabela ngokuzenzakalela kukho. Esikulindele kozakwethu, abasekhweni, intsha yethu, noma umabhalane esitolo. Omunye umuntu ulindele kithina futhi. Futhi akekho okhuluma ngalokho kulindela - leyo nkontileka esinayo ndawonye. Wena, mfundi nami. Sinenkontileka. Ulindele ukufunda okuthile okuwusizo kule ndatshana futhi ngilindele ukuthi uzokufunda (ngethemba lokuthi kuze kube sekugcineni) futhi ufunde okuthile kukho ongakusebenzisa empilweni yakho. Noma okungcono kakhulu, fisa ukwazi ngokwanele mayelana neProtocol ongathanda ukuyifunda kabanzi ngayo, kuwebhusayithi yami noma encwadini.
Eminyakeni eyisishiyagalombili eyedlule emtholampilo wami, ngangisebenza nensizwa eyayizuze njengefa ibhizinisi labazali bayo, elalifaka phakathi umphathi wezincwadi owayemazi kusukela eneminyaka engu-4 ubudala. Ngeshwa usobhuku wayesamphatha kanjalo. Sengathi uneminyaka emine ubudala. Kwacaca kakhulu phakathi nezikhathi okwakudingeka sidale umbono omusha walobo budlelwano - wayefuna ukumgcina ephilile engqondweni! Ngakho-ke kwadalwa 'isidalwa' sesithathu, kwaba nguye, usobhuku kanye nobudlelwano - uqobo lwayo into yesithathu. Sisebenzele kulokho 'lelo bhizinisi' elenziwa ngakho, amanani nezinto ezibalulekile, izidingo nezidingo zomuntu ngamunye, nokuthi yini abazimisele ukuyinika lesi 'sidalwa' esisha. Ubudlelwano babo.
Umqondo usebenze kahle kakhulu, manje sengiwusebenzisa emtholampilo nentsha nabazali, imibhangqwana, abasekhweni, abasebenzi nabaqashi kanye nanoma iyiphi enye indawo lapho ubudlelwano bubaluleke khona. Ngiphinde ngayifundisa kochwepheshe bezengqondo nabaqeqeshi abayisebenzisa namakhasimende abo.
Ubudlelwano nokubaluleka kwabantu ezimpilweni zethu
Ucwaningo lwakamuva lwaseHarvard lufinyelele kuvuthondaba ngemuva kweminyaka engaphezu kwengama-50 ngokutholwe okuningi okuphathelene nezindaba zobudlelwano nokubaluleka kwabantu ezimpilweni zethu. UDkt Waldinger ongumcwaningi oholayo uvumile ukuthi ngokulandela lezi zifundo amashumi amaningi eminyaka futhi eqhathanisa isimo sempilo yabo nobudlelwano babo kusenesikhathi, wayeqiniseka impela ukuthi izibopho zomphakathi eziqinile ziyindima eyimbangela empilweni nasenhlalakahleni yesikhathi eside.
"Ucwaningo lwethu lukhombisile ukuthi abantu abenze kahle kakhulu ngabantu abathembele ebudlelwaneni nomndeni, nabangani kanye nomphakathi."
Ubudlelwano buqinisekisa ukuthi singobani. Sisebenza futhi siphendula abantu abasizungezile - ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukufunda ukuthi ungaxhumana kanjani nawo wonke umuntu; esisebenza nabo, izingane zakwethu, abazali abanentsha ngisho nabangathandwa empilweni yethu.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi sihlala sifuna ukuthi abantu basamukele ngale ndlela esiyikho, kepha banqikaze ukubamukela ngale ndlela abayiyo. Indlela yokuxhumana nalabo esibathandayo, esithanda nabathanda kancane, ngikholelwa ukuthi, ngokusesha amanani abiwe noma izinto eziza kuqala empilweni. Akudingeki ukuthi ‘sithande’ lowo muntu ukuze sizwane nabo. Sidinga nje ukuthola indlela engcono yokuvumelanisa futhi sivumele ubudlelwano obunempilo benzeke. Yize kwesinye isikhathi kubonakala kungenakwenzeka, akunjalo. Thola inani owabelana ngalo, okubaluleke kakhulu okuxhuma futhi kusebenze ngalokho ongakuthola. Kwenza impilo ibe lula, ibe nomusa futhi ijabulise kakhudlwana.
Ngokuzayo ngizophenya ngobudlelwano nabasekhweni nabazali lapho ujoyina imindeni. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, phila amanani akho. Yilokho ngempela oyikho.