-Delile
- Umqondo wokuthandana nowesilisa oshadile onolwazi uyaheha impela
- 1. Bheka izinkomba ezifihlekile emazwini nasezinkulumweni zakhe
- 2. Qonda ‘uma uke waba ngumkhohlisi, njalo ungumkhohlisi!’
- 3.Mthuse ngezindaba zokukhulelwa kwakho
- 4. Qeda noma iyiphi indlela yokuxhumana nawe
- 5. Ungayivumeli imizwa yakho
“Izingqondo zamadoda zikhuphukele ezingeni labesifazane abahlangana nabo”. - U-Alexandre Dumas Pere.
Abesifazane, bebonke, sebekhulile kakhulu kunabesilisa abawela kubakaki beminyaka efanayo. Kepha, uma kukhulunywa ngobudlelwano, abantu ngokuvamile bathi iminyaka yobudala iyinombolo nje.
Umbono wonke wokujola nowesilisa osekhulile, ovuthiwe futhi onolwazi ungabajabulisa abesifazane abaningi.
Umqondo wokuthandana nowesilisa oshadile onolwazi uyaheha impela
Kukholwe noma ungakukholwa, intelezi engenakuphikwa nokuvuthwa umuntu onolwazi nogugile aletha naye ngokuvamile akunakuphikiswa. Futhi uma kuvela ukuthi ushadile, khona-ke kumane nje kungu-icing owengeziwe kwikhekhe.
Umuntu oshadile unolwazi kakhulu kunendoda engashadile futhi unenqwaba yemibono yokuheha owesifazane futhi anelise izidingo zakhe.
Wona kanye umcabango wokuzinikela esenzweni sokuziphatha kabi ngokuvamile uvusa abesifazane abasebasha ezinhliziyweni zabo. Ngakho-ke, izenzo zokungathembeki nezindaba ezingaphezu kwezindawo zomshado ongcwele azizwakali.
Ngokwazi iqiniso elibandayo, elinzima kanye nemiphumela engenakugwenywa yobudlelwano obunobuthi obunjalo, abesifazane abasebasha bafuna zonke izaba ngaphansi kwelanga ukuze bathethelele ucingo lwabo lokwahlulela.
Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuveza uthando lwakho ngomuntu. Kepha, uma kufanele uthule ngokuphelele mayelana nayo yonke le ndaba, wazi ukuthi ukusikisela okuncane ekubeni khona kobuhlobo kungalimaza umndeni ngokuphelele, khona-ke ukuzihlukanisa nobudlelwano obunjalo kuyinto ehlakaniphile ongayenza.
Ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni akulula.
Uma unamathele ngokomzwelo kumuntu oshadile, khona-ke usuvele uhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki okukhulu nokuhlupheka ngokomzwelo. Ukuhamba nge-roller-coaster ride kungenzeka kuthathe umthwalo empilweni yakho.
Njalo lapho uzama ukuzimela, uthando lwakho ngaye nomcabango wesiphetho esijabulisayo kukuvimbela ukuthi ungasuki kule ndaba.
Ukunikeza inqwaba yezaba, akuhehe ngamehlo akhe anezinyembezi, futhi akusebenzise ukuze ubuyele emuva ngentelezi yakhe engenakuphikiswa.
Udinga ukuvuka! Ungumyeni womunye wesifazane futhi uzohlala ekhetha umndeni wakhe kunenkosikazi yakhe. Naphezu kokungasebenzi kwegama, 'nkosikazi,' iqiniso lihlala lingashintshiwe, futhi uyazi.
Zibambe futhi uhlole izeluleko ezi-5 zokuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuthandana nomuntu oshadile:
1. Bheka izinkomba ezifihlekile emazwini nasezinkulumweni zakhe
Izinto ezingekho emthethweni zakhiwe embhedeni wamanga, futhi ziqala ukukuhlaba njengoba izinsuku ziqhubeka. Zama ukuqaphela leyo milayezo namacebo afihliwe ngemuva kwamagama akhe aboshwe ngoshukela.
Funda izinkulumo zakhe nolimi lomzimba futhi. Ukushukuma komzimba nokubukeka kobuso kuvame ukukhipha imiyalezo ephikisana nalokho okuvezwa ngamagama. Lapho uqhubeka ubamba amanga akhe, uzokhula ngokwengeziwe ebudlelwaneni.
2. Qonda ‘uma uke waba ngumkhohlisi, njalo ungumkhohlisi!’
‘Ukukopela kuyisinqumo, hhayi iphutha,’ futhi njengoba iphuzu lisho, uma umuntu okopelayo eyohlala ekopela. Isithandwa sakho siqhathe unkosikazi waso ukuze agcine lobu budlelwano obungenampilo nawe.
Kungenzeka umuntu wakho angakukhohlisa ngomuntu ongcono kunawe. Leli yifulegi elibomvu lakho.
3.Mthuse ngezindaba zokukhulelwa kwakho
Kuyabonakala impela ekuziphatheni kwakhe ukuthi indoda yakho ayifanisi ikusasa nawe. Kokunye, akasoze agcina ukuthi konke lokhu kuthulekile futhi kusongelwe. Futhi iqiniso lokuthi akukho ukuhlelelwa ikusasa kusukela ekugcineni kwakhe ngaphandle kwezaba ezingapheli nezingenasisekelo, kuqinisekisa ukungabaza kwakho kuphela.
Uma ukuyeka ubudlelwano kungesilo uhlobo lwakho, bese umesabisa ngezindaba zokukhulelwa kwakho. Into yokuqala azoyenza ukukubuza isisu. Ukusabela kwakhe kuzocacisa isikhundla sakho ngqo empilweni yakhe.
Ngakho-ke, ungacabangi kabili ngaphambi kokuphuma kulesi sihogo esiphilayo.
4. Qeda noma iyiphi indlela yokuxhumana nawe
Lesi ngesinye sezeluleko ezibalulekile zokuthi ungayeka kanjani ukuthandana nomuntu oshadile.
Kubalulekile ukuthi ushintshe imininingwane yakho yokuxhumana futhi umvimbe kuzo zonke izingosi zakho zokuxhumana nabantu ngokushesha nje lapho uthatha isinqumo sokunqamula bonke ubuhlobo naye.
Uzozama ukungalahlekelwa nguwe futhi agcine ngokwenza inqwaba yezitatimende zamanga ezigqokiwe imizwa. Zama ukungangeni ogibeni lwakhe, kodwa zama ukubona ngamanga akhe.
5. Ungayivumeli imizwa yakho
Kungenzeka ubhekane nemizwa engaqinisekile ngaphakathi kwakho ngemuva kokuhlukana.
Njalo lapho uhlangabezana nephrofayili yakhe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana noma ukhumbula izikhathi ezisondelene, nakanjani uzokwakha isifiso sokushayela inombolo yakhe. Ungahle uphelele ehhovisi lakhe noma uhlanganyele ezindaweni ebeziyimfihlo yenu nobabili.
Kuthatha isikhathi ukwedlula umuntu kepha ungalokothi unikeze imizwa yakho. Kokunye, awusoze wakwazi ukuphuma ngobulembu besicabucabu ngokuphepha.
‘Yiba yingxenye yodadewethu othi cha emadodeni ashadile.’ - U-April Beyer
Ukuzibandakanya nomuntu oshadile ngeke kuphele kahle kini. Lapho usheshe wabona, kuba ngcono kuwe.
Akekho ophika iqiniso lokuthi umuntu oshadile angaphinde athandane uma ehlukanisiwe nonkosikazi wakhe noma engumfelwa. Kepha, uma ephila impilo embaxambili, lokho kuyisiginali ebomvu ngokwenele yokuthi ungahlali kude.
Kokunye, ungazama ukulandela izeluleko ezishiwo uma ushayeke kangaka naye futhi ungazi nokuthi ungakuyeka kanjani ukuthandana nomuntu oshadile.