-Delile
- Ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni
- “Kufanele abantu bahlale beshadile ngenxa yezingane?”
- Ukungayeki ngokushesha kakhulu kunezinzuzo zako
- Ukwenza umshado uhlale njalo
Umbuzo onzima, kepha uyathakazelisa.
Akunampendulo elula, kepha nansi imicabango yami:
Phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, kunesikhala. Lesi isikhala lapho ubuhlobo bakho buhlala khona. Lapho singazi ngaleyo ndawo, siyayingcolisa. Siyingcolisa ngokuphazanyiswa, ngokungalaleli, ngokuzivikela, ngokuvuthela noma ngokuvala. Kunezinkulungwane zezindlela ezahlukahlukene zokungcolisa isikhala esiphakathi kwakho nomuntu omthandayo.
Lapho sinaka isikhala esiphakathi kwethu nomlingani wethu, siyakwazi ukuhlanza ukungcola ngamabomu futhi sikwenze indawo engcwele. Lokho sikwenza ngokuba khona ngokugcwele, ukulalela ngokujulile, ukuhlala sizolile futhi siveze ilukuluku kunokwahlulela ngokungafani kwethu.
Ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni
Ebudlelwaneni obusondelene, zombili izinhlangothi zino-100% obhekele ukunakekela isikhala sobudlelwano. Lokho kungu-100% lilinye, hhayi ama-50% -50%. Indlela ye-50% -50% iyindlela yokuhlukanisa enabantu abagcina amaphuzu futhi basebenzise i-tit-for-tat. Umshado onempilo udinga 100% -100% ukwazi nokuzikhandla kubantu ababili.
Okomzuzwana, zicabange wena nomlingani wakho njengamazibuthe. Uma usondela endaweni esishubile, egcwele ukungcola, uyazi ngokushesha ukuthi iyingozi futhi ayizwakali futhi awufuni ukuba lapho. Uhamba ngokuhlukana njengezinti ezifanayo zomazibuthe ababili abaxoshanayo. Kepha lapho isikhala singcwele futhi sinothando, ninamathelana njengezigxobo eziphikisayo zamagnetic. Ubudlelwano benu buba yindawo enifuna ukuba kuyo nobabili.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane zakho, noma izingane zesikhathi esizayo, zihlala esikhaleni esiphakathi kwakho. Isikhala esiphakathi kwabazali ababili yindawo yokudlala yengane. Lapho kuphephile futhi kungcwele, izingane ziyakhula futhi zikhule. Lapho kuyingozi futhi kungcolisiwe, baba nezindlela eziyinkimbinkimbi zengqondo ukuze baphile. Bafunda ukuvala noma ukuthukuthela ukuze bahlangabezane nezidingo zabo.
Muva nje, ngicelwe ukuba ngiphawule ngombuzo,
“Kufanele abantu bahlale beshadile ngenxa yezingane?”
Impendulo yami, "Abantu kufanele bakhe imishado emihle, eqinile, nenempilo ngenxa yezingane."
Akekho ongaliphikisa iqiniso lokuthi ukuhlala ushadile kunzima. Ucwaningo lukhombisa, nokho, ukuthi kunezinzuzo eziningi zokuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside kubo bobabili abalingani bomshado kanye nenzalo yabo.
UKarl Pillemer, Isazi sokuma kwezitho zomzimba saseCornell University esenze ucwaningo olunzulu kubantu asebekhulile abangama-700 sencwadi yakhe Izifundo ezingama-30 Zothando bathole, “Wonke umuntu – 100% –washo ngesinye isikhathi ukuthi umshado omude ubuyinto engcono kakhulu ezimpilweni zabo. Kodwa bonke futhi bathe umshado unzima noma unzima impela. ” Manje kungani ukwenze?
Eminyakeni edlule, kube nezifundo eziningi eziphakamisa ukuthi abantu abashadile banempilo engcono, ingcebo, impilo yezocansi nenjabulo kunabalingani babo abangashadile. Abesifazane abashadile banemali eningi kakhulu kunabesifazane abangabodwa. Ukuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside kusisindisa ekuchitheni isikhathi nomzamo ekuzingeleni njalo ozakwethu abasha futhi kusukela esikhathini nomzamo okudingayo ukululama ebuhlungwini nasekukhaselweni kokwehlukana nesehlukaniso.
Futhi ukuhlala ushadile kunezinzuzo nezinzuzo ezinganeni. Iningi lezazi zezenhlalo kanye nabelaphi bayavuma ukuthi izingane ezivela "emishadweni engashintshi" zenza kangcono ezingxenyeni eziningi kunezingane ezivela emindenini ehlukanisile. Lokhu kufakazelwe ukuthi kuyiqiniso kaninginingi ezifundweni futhi kubonakala KUNGABI nje uma umshado ubhekwa njengengxabano enkulu kakhulu. Ngokusobala akuyona yonke imishado okufanele isindiswe futhi uma oshade naye esengozini ngokomzimba, kufanele ahambe.
Ucwaningo luveze ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izingane zabazali abahlukanisile zisengozini enkulu yokubhekana nobunzima bezezimali, imfundo ephansi, ukungabi nempilo nokugula izifo zengqondo. Bangamathuba amakhulu kakhulu okuthi bangaze bahlukane ngokwabo ngokuzayo. Ngakho-ke, sekukonke, izingane zabazali abahlukanisile kungenzeka zibhekane nezithiyo eziningi kunalezo ezinabazali abahlala beshadile.
Ukungayeki ngokushesha kakhulu kunezinzuzo zako
Ngakho-ke, kunezizathu ezithile ezinhle zokusebenzela ukuhlanza isikhala sobudlelwano futhi ungaliphonsi ithawula ngokushesha. Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu, abalingani ebudlelwaneni badinga ukuzizwa bephephile emzimbeni nangokomzwelo. Ukuphepha kuza lapho uqeda ukugxeka, ukuzivikela, ukwedelela nokwenqaba ukulungisa izingqinamba kusukela ekusebenzisaneni kwakho. Ukusondelana kudinga ukuba sengozini futhi akekho ozokubeka engcupheni aze azi ukuthi umlingani wakhe uyitheku eliphephile.
Eminye imikhuba eholela esikhaleni sobudlelwano esingcwele ifaka phakathi ukuthola ukuthi yini eyenza umlingani wakho azizwe ethandwa nokunikela lezo zimilo zokuziphatha kaningi. Ukuthola noma ukuthuthukisa izintshisekelo nemisebenzi efanayo kubalulekile nokwenza isikhathi sokuzijabulela ndawonye. Yenza ucansi. Ucwaningo luka-2015 lwathola ukuthi ucansi kanye ngesonto lwalulungile ekwandiseni injabulo yomshado nokuxhuma.
Ukwenza umshado uhlale njalo
Ochwepheshe baphinde batusa ezinye izinguquko zengqondo ukwenza umshado uhlale njalo. Esinye isiphakamiso ukuyeka umbono wokuthola umphefumulo wakho. Baningi abantu ongashada nabo ngenjabulo. Ngiyethemba usuqala ukubona ukuthi kungani kungahle kube kuhle ukwenza umshado ofanele kunokuba uqhubeke nokuzingela umlingani ophelele. Futhi iningi labantu abashade isikhathi eside bathi bafuna ngempela ukuhlala beshadile futhi abacabangi noma bakhulume ngesahlukaniso njengenketho.
Ngakho-ke, kufanele uhlale ushadile ngenxa yengane yakho? Ngokuvamile, ngicabanga ukuthi yebo.
Uma nje ingekho ingozi engokomzimba esheshayo futhi ukwazi ukuzibophezela ekuhlanzeni nasekwenzeni indawo yakho yobudlelwano ibe ngcwele, wena nezingane zakho cishe nizozuza emshadweni omude futhi ozinzile.