-Delile
- Ukuhlola injabulo engaba khona yesikhathi esizayo
- Ukuthemba umlingani wakho kuzoshintsha ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene ukuze abe ngumlingani wakho ofanele
- Ingcindezi yomphakathi
- Akekho onethemba lokuba umzali osekhulile
- Ukucindezela kontanga
- Umbono womhubhe
- Ongakwenza
- Thatha uhlu
- Zibuze imibuzo efana nale
- Zama ukwethembeka kuwe uqobo
Ngabe unentshisekelo yokushada kunalowo omshadayo?
Lokhu kungabonakala njengombuzo ongajwayelekile kepha munye, njengodokotela, ngizithola ngibuza ngezinye izikhathi. Ukucacisa, imvamisa abesifazane ngiyazibuza ngalokhu.
Ngiqaphele ingqikithi ezungeze abesifazane abazama ukuthola isimo esingagculisi ngethemba lokuthi sizoholela emshadweni nasemndenini. Ngaphandle kwalokhu, kepha babeke izimpilo zabo eceleni ukuze bakhuthaze inqubo.
Ukuhlola injabulo engaba khona yesikhathi esizayo
Lo mbhalo uhlose ukubhekana nale ndlela engenzeka futhi unikeze abesifazane amathuluzi okubasiza ekuhloleni injabulo yabo yesikhathi esizayo ebudlelwaneni babo bamanje.
Sengichithe isikhathi esiningi somsebenzi wami ngikhuluma nabantu nge "honeymoon phase" yobudlelwano babo futhi ngicabanga ukuthi kulapho abantu abaningi babhajwa khona.
Isigaba sokuqala sobudlelwano obuningi siyajabulisa futhi singajabulisa. Imvamisa, bobabili abalingani babeka unyawo lwabo phambili futhi bazama ukujabulisa omunye komunye. Ngezindlela eziningi, bobabili abalingani bafaka umbukiso. Kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami, lokhu kaningi kuyisizathu esenza abantu bahlale ebudlelwaneni isikhathi eside kunalokho okufanele.
Uma uzithola usho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ngifisa sengathi umlingani wami angabuyela kumuntu abebeyena ngenkathi ngihlangana nabo.", Cishe ukulesi sikebhe. Unethemba lokuthi umlingani wakho uzobuyela kumuntu owathandana naye. Lokho kunengqondo kakhulu. Kubudlelwano obuningi, inguqulo ye-honeymoon yesigaba sozakwethu ibuya ngezikhathi ezithile ivuselela ithemba lethu.
Ukuthemba umlingani wakho kuzoshintsha ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene ukuze abe ngumlingani wakho ofanele
Enye inguqulo yalokhu ukufuna noma unethemba lokuthi umlingani wakho uzoshintsha ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene ukuze abe umlingani wakho ofanele. Lokhu kungaba ngumthambeko oshelelayo nokuthile okufanele ukunake.
Kunomehluko phakathi kokuthanda umuntu ngaphandle kwamaphutha akhe abonakalayo futhi unethemba lokuthi azophenduka abe ngumuntu ongamthanda noma uzizwe uthandwa nguye.
Ingcindezi yomphakathi
Ngithanda ukwamukela izingcindezi abesifazane ababhekana nazo lapho bezoshada futhi beqala umndeni.
Noma ngabe uhlangabezana nalokhu koontanga, abezindaba, umndeni wakho noma nje kusuka endaweni yakho, le ngcindezi ingaba namandla. Kwabesifazane, lokhu kuhlanganiswa ne-biology kanye nokwesaba ukuthi ukulinda isikhathi eside kuzokushiya unezinketho ezinqunyelwe zokuba nomndeni.
Ngaphandle kokuthi abesifazane babeletha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nangemva kwesikhathi empilweni kusenabanye abantu abazinza phansi nabathile abaphakathi kweminyaka yamashumi amabili bese beqala indlela yabo yokukhulisa izingane.
Kungakhathalekile ukuthi izindatshana ezimayelana nosaziwayo ababeletha eminyakeni engamashumi amane edlule ezinganeni ezinempilo, sondliwa ngandlela thile umqondo wokuthi isibeletho sethu sizoma noma ukuthi simiselwe ukuba nezinkinga ezingenakunqobeka zokuzala.
Akekho onethemba lokuba umzali osekhulile
Lokhu kuhlangene nomqondo wokuthi akekho umuntu othemba ukuba ngumzali osekhulile ongadonsela ukukhathazeka egiyeni eliphezulu futhi enze isivunguvungu esifanele sokuxazulula umlingani wesikhathi esizayo ongaphansi kokufiselekayo ukugwema ukuthi kungenzeka ulahlekelwe yithuba lakho lokuba nezingane nomndeni. .
Kwabanye abantu, lokhu kuyaphumelela. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kungaholela nasekuzizwa ubhajwe esimweni lapho uboshelwe kothile onganeme ngaye ngenxa yengane yakho noma izingane zakho.
Ukucindezela kontanga
Angikholwa ukuthi ingcindezi yokuncintisana nontanga yethu inyukile impela. Kodwa-ke ngiyabona ukuthi imithombo yezokuxhumana iholele ekuthathweni kokuncintisana kwethu. Kuyisithangami sabantu sokubeka inguqulo eyenziwe ngobuciko beqiniso labo.
Eminyakeni ethile, kuqala ukuzwakala sengathi wonke umuntu uyathembisana umshado, ushadile noma unezingane. Lapho lokhu kuyinjongo yakho kepha ungekho lapho ubuthemba ukuthi uzoba khona kungazizwa kukhungathekisa futhi kubuhlungu. Futhi kwenza umuntu abe nethuba lokuthambekela ekubhekeni kokukhetha okuseduze ngisho noma kungenangqondo ngokuphelele.
Umqondo wokuthi ungathola ezinye zezinto ozifunayo ungabhala injabulo yakho ejwayelekile.
Lesi yisikhathi lapho abalingani bangaphambili babonakala beheha kakhulu uma beqala ukukubandakanya. Ungahle ube nohlu lwezizathu zobudlelwano obungasebenzanga futhi ube nethemba lokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi lishintshile noma lakhula selokhu izinto zaphela.
Umbono womhubhe
Lokhu kusiholela kumbono womhubhe. Kwabanye abantu, bagxila ngokweqile emcabangweni wokuba izithandani kanye / noma ukushada. Into ejwayelekile ukuthi bese begxila kancane kubo nasekuzithuthukiseni kwabo nokuningi ekwenzeni ubudlelwano busebenze.
Imvamisa bazovumela umlingani ukuthi eqe imingcele ethile ngethemba lokuthi impendulo yabo ekhululekile izokwenzela umlingani umusa.
Bangayivimba imizwa yabo ngokwesaba ukuthi umlingani wabo uzocishwa ngokuveza kwabo ukungajabuli okuncane noma ukuzizwela bona njenge-nag. Empeleni, bahamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda bezama ukwenza umlingani wabo ajabule kanti bona ngokwabo bengekho.
Lokhu konke kunethemba lokuthi umlingani uzobathanda kakhulu. Cishe kunwetshiwe kwesigaba se-honeymoon. Isiteji manje sesibekelwe wena ukuthi ungalokothi uthole okufunayo. Lapho sigobela emuva ukuze senze abanye banethezeke, nakanjani induduzo yethu ayibaluleki kangako futhi intukuthelo iyakheka.
Empilweni, lapho sidudula izidingo zethu eceleni kuyasithinta ngandlela thile.
Ongakwenza
Zonke lezi zinto ezinomthelela ebudlelwaneni bakho besikhathi esizayo kulula ukuzibona uma ubheka emuva. Ngiyazi abantu abaningi abangangitshela ukuthi bebazi ukuthi izinto bezingahambi kahle ngaphambi kokushada futhi manje sebehlukanisile. Ungazivikela kanjani ekuweleni kusimo esifanayo?
Thatha uhlu
Ngincoma ngokuqinile ukuthi ubheke impilo yakho futhi uzibuze imibuzo ebucayi. Uma ungaqiniseki ngezimpendulo eziqondakalayo; imibuzo yempilo akulula.
Kungaba wusizo ukukhuluma nodokotela ongakusiza ukukhipha okufunayo nokudingayo uma uqhathanisa nalokho onakho njengamanje.
Zibuze imibuzo efana nale
Ngabe ngiphishekela izinkanuko / izintshisekelo zami?
Ngabe ngigxile ekukhuleni nasekuthuthukeni kwami?
Ingabe umlingani wami uyakweseka ukukhula kwami?
Ngifunani kumlingani wami futhi ngabe ngithola engikufunayo?
Ngijabule ebudlelwaneni bami obukhona manje?
Ngabe mina nomlingani wami sesixoxe ngalokho esikufunayo esikhathini esizayo?
Ngabe sisekhasini elilodwa ngempela?
Ingabe ngizizwa ngiphephile ukukhuluma engikucabangayo nokuthi ngizizwa kanjani?
Ingabe umlingani wami uyazilalela izinto ezingikhathazayo futhi azame ukungiqonda?
Ngabe sobabili sizama ukuxazulula izingqinamba zethu eziyinhloko?
Ungazibuza ukuthi ngabe izinhlelo zakho zesikhathi esizayo ziqhutshwa ukukhathazeka kwakho noma injabulo yakho.
Zama ukwethembeka kuwe uqobo
Angikuphakamisi ukuthi noma ngubani unephutha ngokufuna ukushada futhi aqale ikusasa nomuntu. Ngizizwa ngiphoqelekile ukukhuluma ngalokho okwenzekayo lapho ubeka lowo mgomo ngaphambi kwakho.
Sivame ukuzwa "ngokuhlala phansi" noma nje "ukuhlala phansi". Ngikholwa ukuthi ungaba nakho konke uma uthembekile ezidingweni zakho futhi wenza izidingo zakho zaziwe. Kungathatha isikhathi ukuthola umlingani ofanele.
Lapho uzizwa uphuthuma noma ucindezelwe kungafiphaza ukwahlulela kwakho.
Abantu bavame ukufanisa ukushada nokuba nenjabulo. Akusilo ikhambi lesizungu. Iqiniso malitshelwe abanye babantu enginesizungu engibaziyo abashadile. Umshado, ngisho nomuntu ofanele, unzima futhi udinga umsebenzi. Thatha isikhathi sakho. Ufanelwe yizo zonke izinto ezinhle.