-Delile
- Yiziphi izici zabazali abathandanayo?
- 1. Ukuzicabangela wena wedwa:
- 2. Umona nokuba nempahla
- 3. Ukungabi nozwela
- 4. Ukuncika kanye nokuxhomekeka
- 5. Ukuphathwa
- 6.Ukukhwabanisa nokukhetha
- 7. Ukunganaki
- Izingane zithinteka kanjani lapho umzali othanda ukukhulisa izingane ezikhulisa?
- Abathandwa yilokho abayikho
- Izelamani ziyaxabana
- Izidingo zengane azinakwa, ziyacindezelwa, noma zihlekwa usulu
- Ingane ingazizwa njengomlingani kunokuba ingane
- Ingane ilwela ukuthola izidingo zayo, izidingo, nezinhloso zayo
- Ungayinqoba kanjani imiphumela yokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic?
- Imininingwane nokuqonda kuletha ukuphulukiswa
- Inqubo yokudabuka iyadingeka
- Imingcele idinga ukusungulwa
- Kufanele kufundwe okushiwo uthando lweqiniso
Wake wezwa ngobuzali bobuntwana? Ungamcabanga umzali onenkinga yobuntu obuthakathaka?
Igama elithi 'narcissism' seliba yigama lasekhaya kulezi zinsuku, futhi kwesinye isikhathi lingasetshenziswa njengencazelo yanoma yini kusuka ebugqilini kuya ekuqhumeni kwentukuthelo. Ngempela, kunezindlela ezibanzi zezindlela i-narcissism engaziveza ngokuqhubeka kusuka kokuphilile kuya kokubi.
I-narcissism enempilo isho ukuzethemba okungokoqobo, kuyilapho i-narcissism ebulalayo ibhekisa ekuzicabangeleni ngokweqile ngomqondo obuthaka kakhulu, wokungazethembi kanye nokwehluleka ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo. Lolu hlobo lwe-narcissism ebulalayo lunomphumela omubi kakhulu lapho likhona esimweni sokuba ngumzali.
Le ndatshana izobheka ezinye zezimpawu zomzali othanda ukuba yinqwaba, ukuthi izici zomuntu othanda izihibe zingazithinta kanjani izingane zabo, nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nabazali abathandanayo, ngoba ukusebenzelana nabazali abathandanayo akuyona into yokudlala kwengane!
Yiziphi izici zabazali abathandanayo?
1. Ukuzicabangela wena wedwa:
Lapho umzali eyi-narcissistic, konke kuhlale kumayelana nabo, futhi basebenzisa izingane zabo ukufeza amaphupho nezifiso zabo.
Isibonelo salokhu kungaba ubaba wobudlwangudlwangu ophikelela ekutheni indodana yakhe ibe ngudokotela, noma ngabe izintshisekelo namakhono endodana ahambisana nalokhu kukhetha umsebenzi.
Lezi zimpawu zobaba zobudlwangudlwangu zivame kakhulu, kepha sivame ukungazinaki, sicabange ukuthi lezi zinto zivame kakhulu!
2. Umona nokuba nempahla
Umzali olimazayo uthemba futhi uhlose ukugcina inzalo yakhe ngaphansi kwesithupha ingunaphakade.
Ngakho-ke, lapho nje ingane iqala ukukhombisa ukuvuthwa noma ukuzikhethela, yenza izinqumo nezintandokazi zabo zaziwe, umzali angathukuthela futhi athukuthele, akuthathe njengokuhlukumeza komuntu uqobo kanye nosongo.
3. Ukungabi nozwela
AbakwaNarcissist banokwehluleka okukhulu ukucabangela imicabango nemizwa yabanye, kubandakanya nezingane zabo. Kubo, into ebaluleke kakhulu yimibono yabo nemibono yabo. Lezi yizimpawu ezijwayelekile zokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic.
Izingane ezihlala nabazali abathandana nabathile abahlangabezana nalolu hlobo lokungasebenzi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bavame ukwakha imaski yamanga yokuhlalisa umzali, noma baziqhelelanise nomzali wabo, kanti abanye bangazama ukulwa.
4. Ukuncika kanye nokuxhomekeka
Ukuba ngumzali we-narcissistic kuvame ukufaka ukuqinisa ubudlelwano bokuxhomekeka nezingane kuze kufike ezingeni lapho abazali belindele ukuthi ingane ibanakekele impilo yabo yonke.
Lokhu kungabhekwa njengezimpawu zobunina, futhi izingane zingavele zimake omama bazo ngokuthi 'abavikela ngokweqile' noma 'banakho.'
Lokhu kuvame ukufaka izindleko ezinkulu nokuzidela kwengane, lapho i-narcissist ingahle ibonakale ingakunaki nhlobo.
5. Ukuphathwa
Ungase uzibuze ukuthi kungani umzali othanda ukulwa enqaba ingane yakhe?
Kepha, umzali we-narcissistic ungumpetha wokukhohlisa ngokujezisa, ngokusongela, nokugodla uthando ukuze aphoqe ukuthobela. Imvamisa bazobeka icala elinamanga kumntwana, kanye nokusola, ukuhlazisa, nokucindezela okungenangqondo ukuthi akwenze.
Ukuqhathanisa okungathandeki (“kungani ungeke ube muhle njengengane yakini?”) Nokuphoqelelwa ngokomzwelo (“uma uyindodana noma indodakazi elungile uzongenzela lokhu noma lokho”) nakho kuyizindlela ezivamile zokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic.
6.Ukukhwabanisa nokukhetha
Lapho kunezingane ezingaphezu kweyodwa emndenini, umzali othanda ukukhwabanisa uvamise ukukhomba omunye wabo "njengomntwana wegolide" olungiselelwa ukunakekela izidingo nobugagu bomuntu othanda ukubulala abantu.
Ekukhuliseni ngokweqile, enye yezingane iba 'yimbuzi' esolwa ngakho konke. Ngale ndlela, izingane zandawonye ziyaxabana, zidala olunye uthuthuva nezinxushunxushu kuleli khaya eselivele linokuphazamiseka.
7. Ukunganaki
Umzali oyisidlakudla angakhetha ukulandela izintshisekelo zakhe kunokubhekana nezidingo zansuku zonke zokuba ngumzali. Futhi bangaba yimisebenzi yokusebenza ngokweqile. Lesi simo sokunganaki sishiya ingane ikakhulu nomunye umzali noma iyodwa futhi izimela kakhulu.
Izingane zithinteka kanjani lapho umzali othanda ukukhulisa izingane ezikhulisa?
Ubugovu bokuba ngumzali ngokuthanda izingane akuvumeli abazali ukuthi babone ingane ukuthi iyathandeka, iyigugu futhi iyigugu ngokwabo.
Esikhundleni salokho, baziswa kuphela ngezinga abahlangabezana ngalo futhi banikeze izidingo zomzali.
Inani elithile lombango wezelamani linengqondo kunoma imuphi umndeni, kepha lapho kukhona khona ubuzali obuthintekayo obubandakanyekayo, lo mbango ufinyelela emazingeni ayingozi. Lokhu kuvame ukuba iqhinga langamabomu likanxantathu lomuntu osebenzisa izihibe ukuze azenzele izidingo zakhe zobugovu.
Lapho ingane yabazali abayichilo izama ukuveza izidingo kanye nezifiso zabo, ezingase zehluke kwezomzali, bavame ukubekwa phansi babe namahloni, benziwe bazizwe ukuthi imicabango yabo, imizwa yabo, nemibono yabo ayisebenzi futhi ayinalutho.
Kwezinye izimo, ukuba ngumzali we-narcissistic kuhilela ukukhipha futhi uthululele ingane isifuba, futhi ingane kulindeleke ukuthi iduduze futhi ihlangabezane nezidingo ezingokomzwelo zomzali.
Lokhu kuguqulwa kwezindima kubeka ingane esimweni esinzima sokuzizwa njengomlingani noma isifuba kunengane.
Lapho ingane isijwayele ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zomzali othanda ukuhlanekezela, ihlehlise zonke izinqumo zayo, futhi ivumelane ngaso sonke isikhathi nezinhlelo nemibono yayo, ingafinyelela eqophelweni lokuthi ingasazi imicabango nemizwa yayo.
Lapho becelwa ukuthi banikeze umbono noma baveze isifiso, bangaba manqikanqika, besabe, futhi bangathathi isinqumo, bakala ukuthi iyiphi impendulo ‘elungile’ elindelwe kubo.
Buka le nkulumo ukuze uthole ukuqonda okwengeziwe ngokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic:
Ungayinqoba kanjani imiphumela yokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic?
Thola okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka mayelana ne-narcissism, bese uqala ukuqonda ukuthi kwenzekeni kuwe uma umzali oyindlamlenze wakukhulisa. Vumela iqiniso licwile futhi uthole induduzo ngokwazi ukuthi abanye abaningi bazwile ubuhlungu obufanayo. Awuwedwa.
Uma omunye wabazali bakho noma bobabili bebethandana, uzodinga ukudabuka ngokulahlekelwa ngumzali ongakaze ube naye. Isikhathi esithile, kubalulekile ukudabuka iqiniso lokuthi awutholanga uthando lokukhulisa obeludinga useyingane.
Lapho ungakwamukela ukulahlekelwa kwakho futhi udedele noma yimiphi imicabango yokuthi umthengisi wezinkukhu angakuthanda ngelinye ilanga, lapho-ke ungakulungela ukuqhubeka nempilo yakho.
Ekululameni kwakho emiphumeleni yokuba ngumzali okhulisa izingane ngokweqile, kufanele uthuthukise imingcele yakho, ezokuhlukanisa nabazali bakho.
Angeke bakuthathe kahle lokhu, kepha uma ufuna ukukhululeka, uzodinga ukubekezelela ukuthukuthela nokukhohlisa uze ukhululeke ukuba yilokho obekufanele ube yikho.
Setha umkhawulo esikhathini osichitha nabantu abanobuthi futhi uzizungeze nabangani abaphilile abazokuthanda futhi bakwamukele njengoba unjalo.
Njengoba usuka ethonyeni elingenampilo lokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic, ungahle uthole ukuphulukiswa okwenzeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Lapho-ke uzokwazi ukwazisa futhi ufunde ukuthi uyathandeka ngempela- ukuthi akudingeki ukuthi uqhubeke wenza noma uzuze okuthile ukuze uveze ukubaluleka kwakho. Uyathandeka ngoba nje ungumphefumulo womuntu oyigugu futhi oligugu.