-Delile
- Umlando omncane
- Ngakho-ke yini ngempela eyenza umngane onobuhlobo bezinzuzo?
- Umehluko phakathi kwabangani abanezinzuzo nobudlelwano bothando
- Futhi kukhulunywa ngesiko elidumile
- Lokhu kungasebenza kanjani ngempela?
- Imihlahlandlela enengqondo ebudlelwaneni be-FWB
- Umhlaba akuyona indawo encane
- Eminye imithetho
- Futhi bahlala kamnandi njalo
Abangane abanezinzuzo zocansi. "FWB" njengoba kungenzeka uyazi ngalo.
Le yinto ekade yaqala ukubakhona, kepha eye yaqanjwa ngamagama noma izihloko eziningi ezahlukahlukene: ucansi olungathandeki, abalingani bezocansi abangathandani, abangane bomshado, abantu abavusa inkanuko, ukuxhumana okungajwayelekile, abashaya izingcingo, abangane bendawo yokulala, abangani abaphangiwe, ukuxhuma uju, kanye nezinkampani ezihambisana nokhalo.
Iningi lezinto ezenziwa ngabantu ezisondelene noma zomzimba ngokwemvelo zinamagama noma amagama amaningi esitsotsi afaka noma afihle okwenzekayo. Cabanga ngawo wonke amagama owaziyo okuthi "hlanza" kanye "nokudakwa".
Ukuphela kokufanele ukwenze ukubheka kwisichazamazwi i-Urban ukuthola amakhulu amagama amasha alezi zimo zomuntu ezingokomzimba. Kepha buyela kubangani abanezinzuzo zocansi.Yini okufanele uyazi ngayo?
Umlando omncane
Ake siqale ekuqaleni.
Emuva ezinsukwini ze-caveman, uNed, iNeanderthal kungenzeka ukuthi wayengumuntu wokuqala owazihlanganisa nabangane ngezinzuzo zobulili noNancy waseNeanderthal. Ngamanye amagama, kungaba kuhle ukusho ukuthi ucansi lwe-FWB belulokhu luyingxenye yobuntu.
Ngokufika kwezokuxhumana okusabalele ngazo zonke izinhlobo zazo, i-FWB kukhulunywa nje ngayo futhi yamukelwa ngekhulu lama-21 kunangezikhathi zangaphambili.
Ukuthi yamukelwa noma cha yamukelwa ngabaningi kulezi zinsuku olunye udaba oluphelele. Leso isinqumo sakho futhi sincike emfundweni nasekubukeni kwakho ucansi. Vele ukhumbule ukuthi iyamukelwa njengengxenye yendawo yezocansi kubantu abaningi. Ngalokho njengenkundla yokudlala nesizinda, ake sibhekisise abangani abanezinzuzo zocansi.
Ngakho-ke yini ngempela eyenza umngane onobuhlobo bezinzuzo?
Okokuqala, ukusetshenziswa kwegama elithi "ubuhlobo" kuyelula kancane. "Ukuhlelwa" kungaba yisikhathi esingcono.
Abangane abanezinzuzo ngokuvamile bangabukwa kanjena: abantu ababili bayakhangana ngokocansi, kepha abafuni ukuzibophezela kobuhlobo. Leyo yincazelo yamathambo angenalutho.
Kukhona, yiqiniso, ukuhluka kwalesi sihloko. Akunasikhathi esamukelwe ngokuvamile noma umkhawulo wesikhathi kulolu hlobo lokuhlelwa.
Umehluko phakathi kwabangani abanezinzuzo nobudlelwano bothando
Abangane abanobuhlobo bezinzuzo bangakwazi futhi kuvame ukuguquka bube yibudlelwano bothando, kepha ubudlelwane bothando akuvamile ukuthi bungene kumngane onobuhlobo bezinzuzo, yize lokhu kwenzeka ngezikhathi ezithile.
Futhi kukhulunywa ngesiko elidumile
Igama elithi "abangane abanezinzuzo" laziwa kakhulu futhi lasakazwa sibonga kumabhayisikobho ka-2011 analelo gama, kudlala uMila Kunis noJustin Timberlake.
Vele, le rom-com igxile ekutheni ngabe lezi zinkanyezi ezimbili zingaba yini ngempela nomngane onobuhlobo bezinzuzo obuvela ebunganeni babo. Futhi kumfashini weqiniso waseHollywood, kuvela izinkinga lapho kuvela imizwa yangempela, futhi ubudlelwano babo be-FWB buba ubuhlobo obujulile, obunenjongo.
Lokhu kungasebenza kanjani ngempela?
Kwabanye abantu, ilungiselelo le-FWB likulungele ngokuphelele. Izimo, lapho lokhu kungasebenza khona, ziningi. Uma umuntu ebandakanyeke ngokuphelele emsebenzini, ezemidlalo, ezokuzilibazisa, futhi nje efuna isikhathi esithile noma esijwayelekile sokuhlanganyela kuhlelo lwe-FWB, futhi abe nomlingani wakhe esimweni esifanayo noma esimweni esifanayo, maningi amathuba okuthi lokho kusebenze.
Ubucayi akumele bangene kulesi simo, noma imizwa yecala, eyenkolo noma okunye. Ngabe kukhona olimalayo? Cha.
Imihlahlandlela enengqondo ebudlelwaneni be-FWB
Njengoba lokhu kungekona ukuthandana, kubalulekile ukubeka imithetho ethile eyisisekelo kuqala.
Womabili amaqembu kufanele abe nezingxoxo ezingagunci nezikhululekile mayelana nokuthi lokhu kuyini, futhi okubaluleke ngokulinganayo, ukuthi lokhu akuyona yini.
Imingcele kufanele kuvunyelwane ngayo.
Umuntu ofanele ukungenela ubudlelwano be-FWB ngumuntu omhehile kodwa akayona ingxenye yabangane bakho.
Ngaleyo ndlela uma ukuhleleka kwakho kungaphumeleli futhi lapho kungasebenzi, ngeke uzifake engozini yokuhlangana naye emibuthanweni yokuzijabulisa. Lokho kungahle kube nzima yingakho kungcono ukuthola umuntu ongenakho ukuxhumana nomngani wakho.
Umhlaba akuyona indawo encane
Ngokufana nokungabi nelungiselelo le-FWB nomuntu ovela kumbuthano wakho wabangane, mhlawumbe kuhlakaniphe kakhulu ukukhetha umuntu ongahlali ekhoneni noma endaweni yakho.
Awufuni ukumbona lo muntu njalo uma uphuma emnyango wangaphambili, noma lapho usesitolo esikhulu ukhetha okusanhlamvu kwasekuseni noma okugeza umlomo. Ukuma kwezwe kuyiphuzu lokuhlanganisa lapho ubandakanyeka kumngani onobuhlobo bezinzuzo. Vele, uma kufanele weqe imigqa yombuso, lokho kungaba kude kakhulu!
Eminye imithetho
Ngokusobala, (futhi kwabaningi, umthetho onzima kakhulu ukuwugcina), akumele weqe lowo mugqa ube yinkanuko egcwele kanye nothando.
Bobabili ozakwethu kufanele babe ekhasini elilodwa kusuka ekuqaliseni kulokhu. Okunye okuphelele: sebenzisa ukulawulwa kokuzalwa. Lesi kungaba yisikhathi esibi kakhulu kubo bobabili abalingani ukuthi babhekane nokukhulelwa okungahlelelwe.
Isisekelo esisodwa se-FWB akusikho ukubanjwa ngokomzwelo komsebenzi osindayo, futhi ukukhulelwa okungahleliwe kuyikho kanye lokho.
Bobabili abalingani kufanele baqhubeke nokuthumela imiyalezo, lokhu akuyona i-BFF yakho. Gcina izingxoxo zakho ubuso nobuso zikhanya. Lo akuyena umuntu okufanele udalule naye izimfihlo ezijulile ezingokomzwelo noma imizwa enamandla yezepolitiki; ungathola ukuthi umlingani wakho unezinkolelo zezepolitiki eziphambene nezakho ongeke ukwazi ukuzivumelanisa nazo.
Futhi bahlala kamnandi njalo
Um, cha. Lokho kuphela kwenganekwane kungenxa yobuhlobo obuhlukile. Kepha iyiphi indlela engcono yokuqeda ubudlelwano be-FWB? Kulula. Ngenkathi kusahamba kahle. Ngaleyo ndlela alikho ithuba lokuthi liphendukele eningizimu.
Iseluleko esihle kakhulu kungaba ukuthi uyiqede ngokushesha, njengokuqaqa i-band-aid, kungalimaza imizuzwana embalwa, kepha bese kuphelile.