-Delile
- 1. Thola ukwelulekwa ngokomqondo
- 2. Sebenzisa “isikhathi” sami
- 3. Yakha imingcele
- 4. Zinikeze umugqa wesikhathi
- 5. UKmanje ubhekene nani
Kwenzekani lapho “size sihlukaniswe ukufa” kungahambi ngendlela obekuhleliwe ngayo?
Wonke umuntu uzibophezele kulawo mazwi ngosuku lwabo lomshado, kodwa kwesinye isikhathi impilo iba senkingeni.
Ukungathembeki, ukucindezelwa kwezezimali, izehlakalo ezihlukumezayo, noma nje ukwehlukana ngokujwayelekile; kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani umshado othela izithelo ungaphenduka ube muncu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Uma lokho kwenzeka, umbhangqwana kufanele uthathe isinqumo. Ungasebenza ebudlelwaneni bakho bese uzama ukusindisa umshado wakho, noma ungahamba ngezindlela zakho ezihlukene.
Kuyisinqumo esisinda kakhulu emibhangqwaneni eminingi edlula endaweni eyodwa noma ezimbili ezinzima. Uma bekhetha ukwehlukana, kungaba ushintsho olungakhathazi empilweni abayaziyo.
Kungakhathaleki ukuthi kunezinkinga zomshado, izimpilo zabalingani ezibandakanyekile zihlangene kakhulu; kunzima ukuqaqa ifindo bese uthola okulandelayo.
Abanye bangahle bangafuni ukugxuma emshadweni ojabulisayo bese behlukanisa bekhonona. Njengomshado uqobo, isehlukaniso siyisinyathelo esikhulu ebudlelwaneni nasempilweni. Kudinga ukucatshangelwa ngokucophelela futhi kuhlolwe kuzo zonke izinhlangothi.
Esikhundleni sokujaha ukuthatha isinqumo saphakade sesehlukaniso, kungaba yindlela engcono yokuhlukana isikhashana bese ubona ukuthi ungakusebenzisa yini lokho kwehlukana ukusindisa umshado wakho.
Ukuthatha igxathu emuva enkingeni nokuthola isikhala komunye nomunye kungaba yisixazululo esidinga umbhangqwana.
Ukuqhubekela phambili, sizobuyisa ikhethini bese sibheka izinto ezi-5 okufanele wazi ukuthi ungawusindisa kanjani umshado wakho ngesikhathi sokuhlukana. Kungaba ithuluzi eliwusizo ekongeni umshado uma wenziwa kahle.
Kunconyiwe - Gcina Inkambo Yami Yomshado
1. Thola ukwelulekwa ngokomqondo
Uma uhlose ukusebenzisa ngokunenzuzo ukwahlukana kwesivivinyo ukulungisa umshado wakho nokwenza ngcono ikhwalithi yesikhathi eside somshado, khona-ke umelaphi noma umeluleki uyadingeka manje kunanini ngaphambili.
Bangase bangakwazi ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga zobudlelwano, kepha bangakhomba izinkinga eziningi kangcono kakhulu ngenxa yenhloso yabo.
Futhi, kuyindawo yokuvuleleka futhi uthembeke ngemizwa yakho. Uma uthathe isinqumo sokwehlukana, akukho okuzokulahlekela. Kuyinto "isichotho mary" somshado wakho.
Sebenzisa indawo ephephile yehhovisi lomelaphi ukubeka zonke izingqinamba etafuleni bese ubona ukuthi ungayithola yini indlela yokubuyisana.
2. Sebenzisa “isikhathi” sami
Esinye sezizathu okungenzeka ukuthi wena nowakwakho nihlukanisiwe yingoba nobabili nilahlekelwe yilokho okwenza nijabule ngawodwana.
Kunenjabulo eningi ehlanganyelwe emshadweni, kepha kusadingeka ukuthi kube nezikhwama zenjabulo yomuntu ngamunye.
Uma ubuzithanda izincwadi zamahlaya ungakashadi, kepha awukazithathi selokhu kwakhala izinsimbi zomshado, uthule uthuli bese ubheka.
Uma ngabe ubuthanda ukwenza kumidlalo yaseshashalazini yomphakathi, kepha usunduzele eceleni le nkanuko ngenxa yomshado wakho, bheka ukuthi bazoza yini nama-auditions.
Ngakho ngif uyahlukana ukuze usindise umshado wakho, buyela ekuthintaneni nalokho okwakuphilise ngaphambi kokuthi wabelane ngempilo yakho noshade naye.
Qaphela ukuthi yini othanda ukuyenza. Uma unenhloso ngalokhu kuphinda uzitholele wena, ungathola ukuthi yilokhu kungabi bikho kokuziphishekela komuntu ngamunye okubeka umshado wakho enkingeni.
Abantu ababili bangahlala ndawonye emshadweni onothando ngenkathi futhi benokuzilibazisa nezinto abazithandayo. Uma wazifihla kudala izinto ozithandayo. “Mina” ongcono wenza “thina” esingcono. Njalo.
3. Yakha imingcele
Ungawusindisa kanjani umshado wami ngesikhathi sokuhlukana?
Uma wena noshade naye ninquma ukuthi ukwahlukana kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza kini, yiphathe ngobuqotho.
Dala imingcele ezobonisa ukuhlukaniswa kwangempela komunye nomunye. Nikezane igumbi lokuphefumula elidingwa ukwehlukana.
Yenza izinqumo mayelana nokuthi ngubani ozohlala kuphi. Cacelani ngokuthi nizokwenzani nobabili ngemali yakho nama-akhawunti asebhange ahlanganyelwe.
Ngingasikisela ukuthi siwavale noma siwabandise; Ukwehlukaniswa okugcwaliswe ngenhla kungakhipha i-akhawunti yasebhange ngokushesha. Uma unezingane, khetha ukuthi zizohlala kuphi nokuthi zizosichitha isikhathi esingakanani nomzali ngamunye.
Iphuzu yileli: uma uthatha isinqumo sokuhlukanisa ukusindisa umshado wakho, kwenze empeleni. Uma uzulazula uye ngapha nangapha, awusoze wazi ukuthi kuzosebenza yini. Kufanele kube nomehluko endleleni osebenza ngayo.
Uma ungaluhloniphi ushintsho ozama ukulwethula emshadweni wakho, ngeke lube khona ushintsho emiphumeleni yalowo mshado.
4. Zinikeze umugqa wesikhathi
Ingabe ukwehlukana kungawusindisa umshado?
Lapho uthatha isinqumo sokuhlukana noshade naye, noma ngabe ngokomthetho noma ngokwethukela, yinikeze usuku lokuphela kokhonkolo.
Esikhundleni sokuthi, “Ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele sehlukane,” yithi, “Ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele sihlukane izinyanga eziyisithupha bese sinquma ukuthi lo mshado uphokophelephi.”
Ngaphandle komugqa wesikhathi engqondweni, ungahamba iminyaka ngaphandle kokubuyekeza izingqinamba zomshado. Isimo "sokuhlukaniswa" singahlala izinyanga noma iminyaka.
Ngemuva kwesikhashana, kuba yisimo sobuhlobo bakho, okwenza kube nzima ukubuyisana. Nikeza ukwahlukana kwakho usuku oluqinile nosuku lokugcina ukuze wena noshade naye niliphathe ngokungathi sína futhi ngokuphuthuma.
Bheka futhi: Ingabe ukwahlukana nomlingani wakho kungasiza ekusindiseni umshado wakho.
5. UKmanje ubhekene nani
Uma usebenzisa ukwahlukana njengethuluzi lokonga umshado wakho futhi ngethemba lokuthi uzothuthukisa isimo somshado wakho, vele wazi lesi sibalo: ngokocwaningo olwenziwe e-Ohio State University, ama-79% wokwehlukana agcina ngesehlukaniso.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukusebenzisa ukwahlukana kwakho ukwenza ngcono futhi ugcine umshado wakho; kusho nje ukuthi unqunyelwe umsebenzi wakho.
Qiniseka ukuthi wenza inkuthalo yakho efanele uma usuthathe isinqumo sokuhlukanisa. Finyelela ehhovisi lalo mlaphi. Setha leyo mingcele. Jabulela isikhathi sakho "me". Nikeza ukwehlukana kwakho umnqamulajuqu.
Ungasithathi kancane lesi sikhathi empilweni yakho. Abanye abantu bahlukaniswe iminyaka ngaphandle kokusebenzisa leso sikhathi ukuzama ukulungisa abakushiye kude nakho.
Uma yingakho usuka endaweni yokuqala, zimisele ngesikhathi osichitha ngokuhlukana. Yisebenzise ukwakha isisekelo esiqine lapho wena nothando lwempilo yakho nithole indlela ebuyela komunye nomunye.