-Delile
Kwesinye isikhathi, udinga nje izimpawu ezicacile zokuthi uyisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo. Kungani? Ngoba kwabaningi balabo abasebudlelwaneni obuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo, kunzima ukuthola ukuthi ukubo. Kanjani? Njengoba le ndatshana izobonisa, kunezinto eziningi ezinomthelela ekuguquleni okungenampilo kobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo. Futhi zonke zivame ukwenza kube nzima ukubona ubudlelwano ngokucacile ukuthi buyini.
Kwenzeka kanjani kwasekuqaleni
Awukho umthetho ojwayelekile, kunjalo. Kepha, ezimweni eziningi, kunezinkomba ezithile maqondana nethuba eliphakeme lobudlelwano bokuhlukumezeka obungavela. Futhi engxenyeni enkulu, lezi zinto, ngeshwa, zaba zinde ngaphambi kokuthi sicabangele nobudlelwano bezothando. Kungakho kunzima ukubona.
Kwabaningi babantu abahlukunyeziwe, kuyiqiniso ukuthi bathambekele ekuweleni ebudlelwaneni obunjalo baye kolunye. Ukusuka ngaphandle, kuvame ukubukeka sengathi babengaboni ngokuphelele kubalingani abanomusa nobumnene. Futhi uma bezibandakanya nomuntu oyedwa onjalo, ubudlelwano buvame ukuphela ngokushesha. Ungabezwa bethi: “Bekungalungile nje”.
Futhi kwakungeyona. Ngoba sonke ngaphezulu noma ngaphansi (ngaphandle kokuthi sibhekane ngqo nenkinga futhi siyixazulule ngosizo lochwepheshe) sithambekele ekubusizeni kabusha ubudlelwane esabubona ngenkathi siseyizingane. Ngokuqondile, sivame ukuphindaphinda amandla omshado wabazali bethu. Kungabonakala ngokusobala noma kancane, kepha kungcono kakhulu ukuthi kungabonakali ubuhlobo babazali bethu ezindabeni zethu zothando.
Futhi uma ubonile abazali bakho beya emuva naphambili ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzwelo, maningi amathuba okuthi uthole abalingani abazokusiza ukhumbule lolu hlobo lokuxhumana. Hhayi ngokwazi, ngoba sonke singavuma ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa akulungile. Kepha, ezingeni elithile, uzobona ezinye izindlela zokuhlukumeza njengokujwayelekile. Lokhu kwenzelwa bobabili, umhlukumezi kanye nesisulu.
Kungani zihlala
Indaba ivame ukukhula ngokubikezela. Abazoba ngumhlukumezi nabahlukunyezwayo babonakala betholene ngokunemba kokuhlinzwa. Phakathi kwabo bonke abantu ababazungezile, babonakala beheha omunye nomunye. Bayishaya ngokushesha, futhi umhlaba ubonakala unciphise kubo bobabili kuphela.
Ukuhlukunyezwa kuqala cishe ngokushesha. Ngemuva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa noma amasonto (kepha imvamisa ngokushesha njengosuku lokuqala), okulindelwe okufihliwe kuqala ukwakha ukuhlangana. Bobabili baqala ukudlala indima yabo. Umhlukumezi uzoqala ukubusa, ekuqaleni enendawo ethile ebekiwe, kepha kungekudala lokhu kuzophenduka ukuhlukunyezwa okuphelele ngokomzwelo.
Nabanukubeziwe nabo bazobambisana. Uzoqala ukwenza ngokuzithoba, nsuku zonke ngokuya ngokwanda. Abangaphandle bazozibuza ukuthi kungani bekubekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa. Isisulu sizobuza: “Yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa?” Futhi lokhu ukusabela okuthembekile. Ngoba, njengoba sibonisile ngaphambili, kubo bobabili abalingani, lokhu kuyindlela ejwayelekile yokuxhumana phakathi kwabalingani bobabili bezothando.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi bobabili bebengaba kunoma yiluphi uhlangothi. Kumane nje kuyindaba yokuthi bazikhombe nobani umzali, nokuthi bathathe isimilo sikabani ngokuziphatha kwabo. Kepha ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo buvame ukuqina kakhulu, noma buqhaqhazela ngokuphelele uma bubonwa ngaphandle. Ngoba bobabili basebenza ngokuvumelana okuphelele nokubambisana. Zivumelaniswe ngokuphelele nemiphumela yazo engenampilo.
Izimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo
Ngakho-ke, uma usola ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo (futhi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo kunzima kakhulu ukukuqaphela ngaphakathi kubo), kufanele uzame ukuthola izinkomba. Ungesabi noma ube namahloni ngokungakuqapheli ngaphambili, kuyinto ejwayelekile. Into enhle ukuthi, uzoyibona manje, futhi ungenza ushintsho oluhle.
Uphawu lokuqala nolukhulu kakhulu ukuthi umlingani wakho ulusebenzisa kanjani uthando nothando. Ngokuqondile, abahlukumezi bavame ukukuphonsa ithambo ngezikhathi ezithile. Bazoqinisekisa ukuthi kunezikhathi ezinzima kakhulu zothando nentshisekelo. Bazoxolisa, bakwenze ube phezulu emhlabeni. Futhi uma bengaxolisi, nakanjani bazolivusa ithemba lakho lokuthi kuzoba njalo kusukela lapho kuqhubeke. Ngeke.
Ukuhlukumezeka kuzobuya. Nazi izimpawu. Uhlala ubekwa phansi. Ululazwa futhi ugxekwa ngokweqile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uzakwethu unesikhwele esingaqondakali, kepha ufuna ngamandla ukuxhumana nabobulili obuhlukile. Ubekelwe ukwenza lokho abafuna ukuthi ukwenze. Uyaqiniseka ukuthi konke lokho kuyiphutha lakho. Uyahlukaniswa kancane kancane nabangane nomndeni. Futhi ekugcineni, unomuzwa wokuthi ukuzethemba kwakho kuyaqhubeka kuncipha kusukela khona kanye lapho uhlangana nomlingani wakho.