Izimpawu ezi-5 zokuthi ushade nomyeni we-Sociopath

-Delile

• 1. Ekuqaleni, zazingekho amafulegi abomvu
• 2. Wazihlukanisa, waba nolaka, wazivikela
• 3. Uthe ukungqubuzana kwabo kubangelwa "ukugula ngengqondo" kwakhe
• 4. Waphakamisa eyakhe izwi wamthuka
• 5. Ukukhanyiselwa igesi
• Amafulegi abomvu okufanele uwabheke uma ucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi unobudlelwano neSociopath
• Ukwelashwa kwama-sociopaths nalabo abashade nomyeni we-sociopath

Ngabe ubudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho sebushintshile baba sezingeni lapho ungasazi ukuthi ungubani futhi?

Ngabe ujwayele ukuzibuza - "Ngabe umyeni wami uyisocialopath?" noma ufuna izimpawu zokuthi ushade ne-sociopath?

Ngemuva kwalokho funda ukuze uthole ukuthi kwenzekani lapho owesifazane eshada nomyeni we-sociopath nokuthi yini angayenza esimweni esinjalo.

Futhi Zama: Ngabe ngithandana ne-Sociopath Quiz

UMark wayeyindoda emangalisa kunazo zonke uKellyAnne ake wahlangana nayo — ebukekayo, ekhuluma kahle, wayebonakala ezwa izidingo zakhe ngaphambi kokuba enze, othandana nephutha, isithandwa esinothando — naye wazizwa naye izinto angakaze azizwe ngaphambili, nakuwo wonke amazinga.

Esizeni sokuthandana lapho bahlangana khona, uMark uzichaze njengomuntu ozinikele, othembekile, othembekile, onentshisekelo kwezobuciko namasiko, othandana nothando futhi ozinzile ngokwezezimali. Ukhulume ngokusebenziseka kwakhe njengomuntu okhuphuke iziqongo ezahlukahlukene futhi wavakashela amazwe amaningi.

KuKellyAnne, wayeyikho konke lokho ayecabanga ngakho kusukela eneminyaka engamashumi amabili.

1. Ekuqaleni, zazingekho amafulegi abomvu

Ngemuva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha bethandana, uMark wathuthela kuye futhi ubudlelwano baqina njengoba aqhubeka nokulalelisisa, ukucabangela, ukuthandana nothando.

Wayehambela umsebenzi ngakho wayehambe izinsuku ezimbalwa njalo ngesonto. Lapho engekho ezabelweni zomsebenzi, wayezizwa engelutho, enesizungu, futhi emlangazelela: ngemuva kwakho konke, wayengumthombo ongapheli wengxoxo ethokozisayo, uhleko, ubuhlakani nolwazi lomhlaba. Ngoba wayembona izinsuku ezimbalwa kuphela ngeviki, usuku ngalunye ayesekhaya ngalo kwakuwukujaha i-endorphin.

Ngemuva kwenyanga ehambile, waphakamisa ukuthi bahlanganise izimali zabo. Yize enze okungaphansi kakhulu kunaye, wakuthatha lokhu kungabalulekile futhi wavuma kalula.

Ngemuva kwezinyanga ezine ehambile, wamcela ukuthi amshade. Wajabula futhi ngokushesha wathi yebo — wayethole isithandwa sakhe somphefumulo, umuntu owamtholayo, waba namahlaya, imibono yakhe, ukuthanda kwakhe imvelo, ezobuciko namasiko. Wakholwa futhi watshela abangani bakhe ukuthi "ubheka umphefumulo wami," futhi abangane bakhe bameseka ngemuva kokuhlangana naye.

Kuvele ukuthi awekho amafulegi abomvu: abangane bakhe bakubonile akubonile.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngabe I-Sociopaths Love

2. Wazihlukanisa, waba nolaka, wazivikela

Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ngemuva komshado, noma kunjalo, kancane kodwa ngokuqinile, wathola ukuthi iqiniso liyashintsha.

Ukubanda okuhlukile nokuqhelelana kwase kuhleli noMark futhi waqala ukubona ukuthi wayeziqhenya, ecasukile futhi evikela. Wambona eqhubeka nokukhohlisa ngamabomu waze wazithola ebuza imibono yakhe, nenkumbulo yezehlakalo nemizwa yakhe.

Wazizwa sengathi uvame ukuphoqeleka ukubuza imizwa yakhe, leyo ayethembele kuyo impilo yakhe yonke, okwamenza wangabe esakwethemba ukwahlulela, umqondo, ukucabanga kanye nezinzwa zakhe. Kodwa noma ngaleso sikhathi yayingakaze ifike emqondweni wakhe - "Ngabe uyisazi senhlalo nje esenza impilo yami ibe lusizi?"

Wachaza izehlakalo lapho ayephuza khona ukudakwa (into ayengakaze ayenze ngaphambi komshado) futhi wayezothukuthela, ashaye amakhabethe ekhishi futhi amcekele izitshalo zakhe ezinamanzi ekhaya. Ube esemsola, amtshele ukuthi yiphutha lakhe ukuthi uthukuthele.

Uma efunda ukumphatha kangcono, ukumlalela, enze njengoba eceliwe, izinto bezizoba ngcono, ubengasho ngokuqinile. Izimbangela bezingalindelekile, kanye nemizwa yakhe, futhi imvamisa wayengazi ukuthi ngubani ozobe engena emnyango ekupheleni kosuku — indoda enothando enothando ahlangana nayo esikhathini esingaphezu konyaka esedlule, noma indoda enolaka, enengxabano futhi enobutha manje wayehlala naye.

Wayevame ukwesaba kusihlwa lapho ezoba sekhaya, ikakhulukazi ngenxa "yokuphathwa buthule" okwakudingeka ukuthi abhekane nakho izinsuku eziningi uma bekunengxabano ngayizolo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: I-Sociopath vs Psychopath

3. Uthe ukungqubuzana kwabo kubangelwa "ukugula ngengqondo" kwakhe

Uma ecela uthando, wayemlahla bese emtshela ukuthi uswele kakhulu futhi uyanamathela. Ukuphikisana kwabo nokungavumelani kwabo, ngokusho kukaMark, kwakudalwa kuphela ukungabi nangqondo kwakhe, ukugula kwengqondo, "ubuhlanya" kanye nemibono eyiphutha, nokuziphatha kwakhe kwakwenzelwe ukuzivikela ngoba wayengekho engqondweni yakhe efanele futhi kwakudingeka amgcine empeleni.

Lapho ubudlelwane buya ngokuwohloka, waqala ukungabaza iqiniso lakhe ngisho nokuba nengqondo kwakhe.

Elinye lamasu kaMark acindezela kakhulu kwakuwukusebenzisa indlela yokuphikisa, lapho ayengaphikelela khona ngomsindo ukuthi uKellyAnne wayengazikhumbuli kahle izehlakalo ngenkathi empeleni inkumbulo yakhe yayinembile ngokuphelele.

Elinye isu elijwayelekile lingahlanganisa ukuthi uMark avimbe noma achezukise indaba yengxoxo ngokubuza ubuqiniso bemicabango nemizwa yakhe, aqondise ingxoxo ekucabangeni ukuthi ubuqiniso besipiliyoni sakhe bukhona kunokuphikisana nendaba eseduze.

4. Waphakamisa eyakhe izwi wamthuka

Kwezinye izimo, umchaze njengomuntu owenza sengathi ukhohlwa izinto ezenzekile, noma wephula izethembiso abemthembise zona bese ephika ukuthi wake wazenza lezo zithembiso.

Uma ebuza noma esenkulumweni ethile engxoxweni, uzoba nobudlova, aphakamise izwi lakhe, ambize ngamagama (isib. Kwesinye isikhathi wayephendula ingxoxo, ayiphendulele kuye ukuze inkinga yangempela ifihlwe futhi noma yini okwakuyimbangela yengxabano kwakuyiphutha lakhe.

Esikhathini wachaza ukuzizwa ekhungathekile yimizwelo yakhe, ehlanganiswe ubukhulu be-ego yakhe nokuziphatha kwakhe okulawulayo, wasetshenziselwa ukubuza iqiniso lakhe nokwahlulela, nokulahlekelwa ukuzizwa kwakhe.

Uchaze ubudlelwano nemithetho emibili:

eyodwa isethelwe yena nenye yakhe.

Wayephuma ngezimpelasonto (imvamisa engamtshelanga)

Wayedinga imvume yokuya esidlweni sakusihlwa nomngani wakhe omkhulu.

Wayethi uma ebheka imiyalezo yakhe abese eyibuza ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini imiyalezo evela kowesilisa; noma kunjalo, ifoni yakhe yayivikelwe nge-password futhi ihlala inaye.

Imizwa yakhe yachithwa, yehliswa sengathi ayibalulekile; wazizwa sengathi akanandaba futhi wazizwa edelelekile ngoba wayelokhu emangalelwa ngokuba yinkohliso, edinga futhi engenangqondo.

Ngokombono wezezimali, wayeyekile ukufaka imali kwi-akhawunti yabo ehlangene futhi empeleni wayechitha imali ngokunganaki edingekayo ukukhokha isikweletu sekhadi lesikweletu, izikweletu kanye nerenti.

Uma ebuzwa ngezezimali ubengayithukuthelela ngolaka ingxoxo ngokuthi angayigcini kanjani ifulethi ihlanzekile, edinga ukwenza imali ethe xaxa, noma ukuthi uthenge kanjani ubucwebe “obubizayo” ngenyanga edlule.

Njengoba ulaka lwakhe lwalukhula, wayephuza kakhulu, futhi wayemsola “ngokuxova ibhodwe” nokuzama ukuqala impi ngokubuza imibuzo ngezezimali. Wamsola ngokuphuza kwakhe, wathi uphuzela ukuzenzela imishanguzo ngoba imhlanyisa “ngokungazi” isidingo sakhe esingapheli futhi kumele abe neqiniso.

Waqala ukuzibuza ukuthi ngabe wayeshade nomyeni wesociopath.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: I-Sociopath vs Narcissist

5. Ukukhanyiselwa igesi

Kwase kuwumdlalo omubi wokulawulwa kwengqondo, ukwesatshiswa nokuxhashazwa. Wayengumuntu othwelwe ngeqoma ebhodini lakhe le-chess, njengoba wayeyichaza, futhi wayehlala "ehamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda". Wayengasazizwa ethandwa, ebalulekile, enakekelwa noma ephephile, futhi indoda eyathatha impilo yayo njenge-knight-errant yayingene ku-cad enobudlova, ebusayo futhi enamagciwane.

Ubeshade nomyeni wesociopath.

Ama-Sociopaths kunzima ukuwabona futhi amaningi angagcina izintelezi zakuqala, uthando, ukunakwa nokuthanda izinyanga.

Bacasha endaweni esengozini kakhulu, engaboni kahle engqondweni yethu engokomzwelo nenengqondo, besizakala ngalokhu kulahleka kombono ngokomzwelo nokuqwashisa ngezindlela ezingalindelekile. Zifihla phakathi kwezindonga zemiqondo nezinhliziyo zethu, ngezindlela ezingabonakali nezicashile, kancane, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngokuhlelekile, zakha ukwahlukana ngaphakathi kwethu.

Ubudlelwano ne-sociopath bungaba ngesinye sezimo ezinzima kakhulu eziphazamisayo, ezihlukumezayo futhi ezingokoqobo abalingani abaningi abazoba nazo.

Ubuhle obukha phezulu, ubuhlakani, ukuzethemba nokuqina kwesociopath, ezinsukwini zokuqala zokubazi, kuyimithombo yenjabulo nokulindela abalingani babo.

Lolu ungqimba lwama-persona abo lufihla okwangaphansi. Ngokugcina umsebenzi osezingeni elingaphezulu kokunyakaza kwe-adrenaline, bafihla ukungabi bikho kokuthembeka kwangempela, unembeza, ubuqotho nokuzisola.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungayibeka kanjani iSociopath

Amafulegi abomvu okufanele uwabheke uma ucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi unobudlelwano neSociopath

Kunezimpawu zobudlelwano be-sociopath noma izimpawu zomfazi wendoda / inkosikazi yomphakathi ongayibheka nezindlela zokuqonda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nendoda ye-sociopath:

1. Ama-Sociopaths angamakhosi enkohliso, ithonya nokukhohlisa. Izindaba azivamile ukuba nesisekelo esineqiniso, nokuthi ngubani abamemezela ukuthi kuyaqabukela azihlole — kepha banamakhono kakhulu ekwakheni udaba lwezindaba olukholwayo, noma ngabe baphoqeleka ukwenza kanjalo khona lapho.
2. Ukulandela impikiswano, i-sociopath ayivamile ukunikeza ukuxolisa noma ukukhombisa ukuzisola. Esikhundleni salokho, umthwalo wokulungisa ubuhlobo uzoba kuwe. Uma ushade nomyeni we-sociopath, imizamo yakho yokulungisa izovame ukwenqatshwa noma isetshenziswe ngokumelene nawe njengophawu lokuthi baqinisile.
3. Kakhulukazi indoda noma unkosikazi wesociopath ukholelwa ekuqanjweni kwakhe, futhi uzokwenza konke okusemandleni ukufakazela iphuzu labo, noma kungenasisekelo. Isidingo sabo sokufakazela ukuthi amanga abo yiqiniso sizofika ngentengo yeqiniso lakho nempilo yengqondo. Empeleni, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, njengemiphumela yokubulala izinzwa kukaNovacaine ikukhungathekisa kancane iqiniso lakho, izimangalo zabo ezivelele kanye nokugomela kwakho kuzokwenza ukuthi ubuze ukuthi usangqondo yini.
4. Bavame ukusebenzisa intukuthelo ukulawula ingxoxo.
5. Banamakhono okuphambuka. Impikiswano noma ingxoxo emayelana nokuziphatha okulimazayo kubo ingaholela ekuphazanyisweni okusheshayo kusetshenziswa noma iziphi izinombolo zamanga ezinengqondo, njenge:

• Isikhalazo etsheni: ehlisa impikiswano yakho njengengacabangi noma engenangqondo ngoba nje ethi injalo.
• Isikhalazo sokungazi: uma ushade nomyeni we-sociopath, noma ikuphi ukusho abakushoyo kumele kube yiqiniso ngoba akunakufakazelwa ukuthi kungamanga, futhi noma yikuphi ukusho abathi kungamanga kumele kube ngamanga ngoba abukho ubufakazi bokuthi kuyiqiniso.
• Faka isikhalazo kumqondo ophusile: uma bengaboni iphuzu lakho liyiqiniso noma lingokoqobo, kufanele ukuthi kube ngamanga.
• Ukuphikisana nokuphindaphinda: uma ingxabano evela esikhathini esedlule ivuka, bazoyibiza ukuthi ayisabalulekile ngoba yindaba endala futhi ishayiwe yafa. Impikiswano endala, ngoba indala, futhi noma ingakaxazululwa, ayibalulekile manje ngoba isedlule. Kodwa-ke, uma bephakamisa inkinga kusuka esikhathini esedlule, kufanelekile ngokuzenzakalela ngaphandle kokubuza.
• Ukuphikisana ngokuthula: uma ushade nomyeni we-sociopath, noma yikuphi ukungabikho kobufakazi bokusekela isimangalo sakho noma isikhundla sakho kusho ukuthi akunasisekelo. Uma unikeza ubufakazi, kuvame ukusho ukuthi i- "goalpost" yempikiswano kufanele ihanjiswe yibo ukuze kugcinwe ukulawula.
• Ukungqubuzana kwe-Ad hominem: impikiswano yakho, noma ngabe isuselwe ngokoqobo futhi iyiqiniso ngokusobala, ayivumelekile nokho ngoba uyahlanya, awunangqondo, futhi unemizwa kakhulu, njll.
• U-Ergo decedo: ngoba uzihlanganisa nomuntu angamthandi noma onemibono ayenqabayo (isb., uyiriphabhulikhi noma uyidemokhrasi, ungoweqembu elithile noma inkolo ethile), impikiswano yakho ayinasisekelo ngakho-ke ayifanele ingxoxo yangempela.
• Ukususa umthwalo: uma ushade nendoda noma unkosikazi wesociopath, kudingeka ukuthi ufakazele zonke izimangalo noma izifungo, kepha akunjalo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, noma ngabe ukufakazela ukuba semthethweni kwesimangalo sakho, kuzokwehliswa ngokusebenzisa elinye iphutha elinengqondo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungabhekana Kanjani Ne-Sociopath

Ukuba "ibhomu lothando" isisho esivame ukusetshenziswa ngabesifazane abahlanganyela nabantu bezenhlalo noma uma owesifazane eshade nomyeni wesociopath, okungenani ezinsukwini zokuqala.

Leli gama ligcizelela intelezi ekha phezulu, ubugagu nokuthanda okuvame ukweqa umuzwa wabo wokuqapha ngenkathi behlala nendoda noma isoka. Kodwa-ke, umuntu wangempela ongaphansi kwengqophamlando ungomunye umuntu onenkinga kanembeza, onamahloni / onecala noma ozisolayo, futhi onemikhawulo yangempela.

Impilo ye-sociopath ingamanga aqanjwe kahle futhi avikelwe ngokuqinile, izindaba zabo eziphoqayo zingamanga nje, futhi ugcina usuyisidleke ku-chessboard yempilo yabo.

Kepha uma benenkinga enjalo nomlingani wabo, kungani ama-sociopaths eshada?

Umqondo wenhlalo yabantu nomshado akufanele uhambisane kepha bayashada. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi bafuna umuntu ozibophezele kubo, umuntu abangamsola ngakho konke. Baphinde bashade ukuze bakhe isithombe esihle ngabo.

Ukwelashwa kwama-sociopaths nalabo abashade nomyeni we-sociopath

Yini okufanele uyenze uma ushade nomyeni we-sociopath? Ngokudabukisayo, kubantu abaningi, ukwelashwa akuyona inketho — ukuzizwisisa, ukwethembeka nokuziphendulela, izimfanelo ezibucayi zesipiliyoni sokwelashwa okuyimpumelelo, aziyona nje ingxenye yomlando wenhlalo yabantu.

Ukwelashwa kwezithandani kungahle kube nezinguquko ezimbalwa ekuziphatheni, kepha lezi zivame ukuba zezesikhashana futhi zingahloniphi-zihlala isikhathi eside ngokwanele "ukuthola ukushisa" kwendoda yezenhlalo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngabe i-Sociopath Change

Lokhu akusho ukuthi alikho nhlobo ithemba loshintsho ku-sociopath; abanye, kwesinye isikhathi, bazokwenza izinguquko ezinciphisa ubunzima ebudlelwaneni babo. Kepha yi-sociopath engajwayelekile engagcina izinguquko ezinjalo esikhathini esiyizinyanga noma iminyaka.